Lamisha Serf-Walls

Gratitude: Laughter and Kindness

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I have learned a lot about the value of gratitude over the last couple of years and how important it is in life in general.  I have also realized that as I continue to learn patience and the concept of divine timing for my dreams to materialize, being grateful for the little things happening now is even more important.  With that said, I wanted to incorporate a little bit of gratitude each week by listing a few moments I am truly grateful for from the past week.  My hope is that these posts will serve as a reminder to be mindful of the many wonderful moments in our lives now, no matter where we are on our path.

The first thing I am grateful for this week is my son’s infectious laughter.  My sweet little boy can find humor in anything and I love it.  From a silly face, to a funny noise, he is ready to burst into a fit of laughter at any moment.  His joy for life is evident and reminds me everyday (when I am mindful) that life doesn’t have to be so serious, it can be fun too!  On the days when I am more aware of the fun in life, I may break out in song or dance around our living room just to hear his big, belly laughs.  During those moments I can’t help but be filled with immense gratitude and love for such an amazing moment shared with my little one.

The second thing I am grateful for this week is random kindness.  Today I was the proud giver and receiver of a random act of kindness.  As I was going to get my morning coffee (a treat for myself on Friday’s), I had planned on paying for the order behind me in the drive thru.  I occasionally do this just as a way of spreading a little cheer in the world.  As I pulled up to pay for my order I was informed that the woman in front of me had paid for my order.  I was in awe and proceeded to pay for the woman behind me. (A side note: I allowed this woman to cut in front of me in line as she had been waiting a bit and had entered the drive thru from a second entrance and it might be awhile before anyone let her in. )

I was delighted and surprised that such a simple act of letting someone in front of you in line could multiply to 3 random acts of kindness.  Can you imagine how quickly our world could change if we all committed to one random act of kindness a day or one act a week?

I invite you to be the giver of at least one random act of kindness this weekend.  While you may not see the direct effect you have in that moment, trust that you have created a ripple of kindness that is sure to continue to spread.

Relax, Regroup, Release

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Yesterday I wrote about patience and how it takes a lot of practice to attain, at least for me it does.  I started thinking about how I could be more mindful of each moment as opposed to being so preoccupied with the future.  I found that impatience isn’t the only challenge I have from time to time.  I often find myself scatter-brained and lacking focus.
Recently I have found myself trying to pass the time waiting for certain pieces of my dreams to fall into place (i.e. waiting on possible publishing results of some of my work), by changing my focus and attempting to do many things at once.  For instance at this very moment I am in the middle of reading 3 books at once, I have started a blog, and I work a full-time job amongst many other items that have my attention throughout the day.  While I like to think I have it all together and can continue to juggle all of these items, I am afraid I am doing nothing more than scattering my energy inefficiently, leaving me feeling drained and frustrated.

Since I am typically a “fixer” of things, when I see there is a problem, I want to know what I can do to fix it…now.  The joy of life is that not all things can be fixed in the blink of an eye and somethings don’t need “fixed” as much as they need to be re-evaluated or re-balanced.  In this case, I think I need a bit of both in order to settle myself and adjust my focus.

In addition to being a “fixer”, I am very much a “doer”, meaning I pride myself on checking items off my to-do list and feel good when I see how much I have accomplished.  This is not always a healthy thing, and can definitely become a problem as I move closer and closer to starting my own business.  If I don’t address this now, my future may consist of working long hours with little separation between work life and personal life.

So where does that leave me today with my “fixer” and “doer” mentalities?  Well, I think the first step is to stop for a moment and regroup.  Instead of feeling like I need to always do something, maybe I need to just be in this moment and take it as it comes.  This is yet another life lesson I know I am meant to learn.  Instead of always focusing on getting through my dream list or my to-do list as quickly as possible, what if I simply enjoyed today for what it is and streamline my focus a bit?

What if???

What if this incessant feeling of being stuck is really a reminder to be in each moment as mindfully as possible and allow my dreams to unfold more naturally instead of trying to control everything?  What if I focus more on the process and flow of life, as opposed to the destination? What if my lack of patience and focus is simply part of my path to achieving all that my heart desires?

If all of the above statements are true (and I believe most if not all of them are), then I welcome them with open arms and I intend to relax, regroup, and release my death grip on the future and open my awareness to today.

Food for thought:

What if at this very moment you are exactly where you are meant to be on your path to greatness, challenges and all? Do you welcome them, or wish them away??

It Takes Practice

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All my life I have known that one major life lesson I need to learn in order to be successful and happy, is patience.  I’m not talking, stuck in traffic, standing in long lines kind of patience, but rather patience for allowing things to fall into place in life.  I find myself dreaming big, bold, beautifully extravagant dreams, filling my soul with excitement and then almost immediately tapping my foot with impatience because I want it now.

Over the years I have learned that instant gratification isn’t always best, and many times patience gives space for proper planning and execution, especially when it involves financial risks, business decisions, or putting yourself in the best situation to succeed.  Beyond that I know (much to my chagrin) that to do things right it takes time.

I know, I know…Rome wasn’t built in a day, human beings have a gestation period of 9 months etc., but when I have these big ideas and my creativity is flowing, I feel the need to act, and act now.  But try as I might to make things happen, they don’t always and I often find myself feeling stuck and discouraged, wondering why/how/when will it all work out???

I have found my impatience tends to bleed over into my personal life as well.  I found recently it has come when my main focus is on a future event or moment as opposed to being fully mindful of what I am doing in the now.  Not only am I not being effective in the moment, but I am no closer to the future because all I have is now.  If I am constantly worried with the future, how can I ever tend to the moment and give it all that it deserves in order to make it to the future?

Eureka!

Every moment I see my dreams as yet to be attained instead of being in the process of being achieved, I am discrediting everything I am doing now.  I am losing precious time right now.  Time that allows me to experience this wonderful adventure that helps me to grow and evolve into a better me, and who knows maybe a better end result for my dreams.

So the next time I wonder how I can be more patient, I will remember this… Patience takes practice and in my case…lots of it!