Lamisha Serf-Walls

Remembering Self-Care

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I have said before that when I see, hear, or read the same message or theme in life, I tend to take notice.  It has happened again and this time the topic is self-care.  I have read many posts over the last few weeks about people trying to get back to taking care of themselves in the midst of the hustle and bustle of everyday life.  I can certainly relate to this, though I thought I had somewhat of a handle on it.

I was wrong.

I have found over the past week or so that I am taking much less time for me, and doing many other things that while they need to be done, (i.e. work, house chores, appointments, etc.), sometimes something just has to give.  There are only 24 hours in a day and while I could fill every bit of those hours being “productive”, the reality of the matter is I probably wouldn’t be all that productive without a bit of self-care added to the mix.

What is self-care?

I guess it depends on the person.  For me it is rest, relaxation, meditation, exercise, reading, writing, and just some general down time.  It also involves spending some time in nature either exercising, or just being outside (one of my favorite things to do).  Lately all of that has taken a back seat to work, getting caught up on things around the house, and other projects that I see daily that need to be done.  I know that I am far more stressed when I skip out on my self-care, but sometimes I get caught in this rut of being on the go, go, go, that I forget that if I don’t take the much-needed downtime then I won’t be go, go, going anywhere.

Point taken.

A dear friend of mine reminded me today that even squeezing a little bit of down time into my schedule could help me immensely.  She was right (as she is almost always).  So I am setting a new intention of doing at least one self-care item for myself each day.  This may involve a bubble bath, a long walk, extended meditation, or simply reading for 30 minutes, but I will fit it in.  Besides in the end the work, laundry, and my long list of to-do’s will be there when I am finished and I know I will come back feeling refreshed, and ready to focus.  In fact I know this to be true, because I tried it out already today.

I decided to take a 10 minute walk.  It wasn’t long and not enough to get my heart rate up, but just enough to get my blood pressure down (I’m assuming, I didn’t actually measure it), by being out in nature and enjoying some fresh air.  Combine the fresh air, a little walking, and the beauty of the clear skies and I am feeling like a new woman, so much that it makes me wonder why I let my self-care go for so long?  I guess the reason doesn’t matter because none of the reasons I can come up with will be good enough to let my health, (both mental and physical) suffer.

So there you have it.  As my work schedule gets a little more crazed I am going to make sure I work in those moments of self-care to ensure that I am not only taking time for me, but also not neglecting the people who mean the world to me (my son and partner).  Because let’s face it, life without joy and family, is not a life well-lived.

 

 

Winds Of Change

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My how the winds of change sweep in so quickly, or so it has seemed recently.  I mentioned last week how I had some good feelings about the rest of the year.  I felt like something was on the verge of happening in my writing world and it was going to be great.  I also mentioned that what I thought was going to happen didn’t.  With that said the winds of change are blowing and they are blowing in an unexpected, unforeseen opportunity that will help me move forward towards beginning my life coach training program.

What is it you ask?

This week I was notified of a change in some of my work responsibilities at my day job that will mean more work, more hours, but some extra income as well.  Doesn’t sound like a good change does it? Actually it is a good thing because the added income will be just what I need to move towards setting a date to begin my life coach training (more on that later).  It is also a reason to celebrate because I feel like I am truly making progress and progress is always a good thing.

I am also seeing change  in a new light.

Change and I have never been friends, in fact change is something that I both crave and fear.  Not knowing where my path may lead fills me with both excitement and dread as I begin to think of all of the possibilities that can come from it.  I guess it also depends on what type of change we are talking about, but this type of change that allows me to move forward towards my dreams is a change I am ready to make.  And while the added income will be great, there are some other trade offs I have to be willing to make in the short-term.

One of which is more work and potentially more stress.  More items on my to-do list that will require more organization and balance of my time.  Add to that weekend hours that I am not used to and the potential for a very chaotic, stress-filled experience.  But, since I know this ahead of time I am choosing to be proactive in my efforts.  Planning my time accordingly and remembering the benefits of this current sacrifice.  More money and more savings mean I can begin my training much sooner.

In addition to that, the more time I spend in a job that I don’t love is more motivation to work on getting my ducks in a row to begin my journey towards my life coaching business.  This may be a mini step and a little sacrifice, but in my book it is also a huge opportunity to move forward.  And for that I am thankful as I welcome the winds of change, for they are not only changing this moment, but have the opportunity to change the rest of my life.

Maybe change isn’t so bad after all.

Success Redefined

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I have made it just past a month since starting this blog (woohoo!) and I am very proud.  Not only have I stuck with my writing every week day, but I have also managed to keep my creativity flowing and I have found that I am never lacking in material or ideas.  Success!!

Or is it?

When I started using WordPress as a platform for my blog, I was (and still am) very excited about how easy it is to use.  For a newbie like myself it was easy to set up and start blogging, and while there are still many things to learn, I feel confident with what I post each day.  In addition to the easy set up, I found (rather quickly) there is some great statistical information you can get in one click of your mouse.  Information about how many people viewed your posted, what country they are from, the number of “likes” for each post, and how many followers you have.  And being the numbers gal that I am, sometimes I find myself obsessing about the numbers.  How many views do I have today?  How many “likes” do I have?  Any new followers?

Crazy right?

I know I just started this magnificently creative, and courageous journey and though I keep telling myself that “every new blog takes time to grow”, I feel a little disappointed in the numbers.  If one of my posts doesn’t have many likes or views, I am starting to wonder about my content.  Is it boring?  Did I post too late or too early?  Should I have certain topics on certain days? Questions that are taking my focus away from my flow of creativity and joy in my writing.  And since I started this blog for two reasons, (to inspire, empower, and motivate others to achieve their dreams as well as to have a creative outlet for my thoughts), I realized that getting the most likes or followers on my blog is not as important and should not be my main focus.

Easy to say, not as easy to do.

So I am redefining success as it pertains to my blog.  Creating a blog and sticking with it was one of my dreams and here I am blogging about it.  I am enjoying the creativity, thoughts, and muses that come about in my daily life because of my blog and am happy to share with others in hopes that as they venture towards their goals, they will know that they are not alone in their journey.  I am enjoying the journey, the connection with other bloggers, and my own space to share my thoughts, visions, words, etc.  I’d say that is a success, a mini success maybe, but a success none the less.  And as my blog continues to grow (and it will), my definition of success may also change.  One day, I might set a goal for a certain number of followers/likes/blog awards etc., but I’m not there yet.  As for today, I am enjoying the process of creating something that matters to me.  And while I will still check out the numbers and statistics (because I’m curious), I will not allow my confidence to waver if I don’t have as much traffic, or “likes”, because while they are great, they are not the reason I am on this journey.  Those things do not define me as a blogger, writer, creator or person, but in time as I continue to make progress in my writing and blogging, those things will grow naturally.  It just takes time and patience. 

That is the great thing about goals.  When you create your dreams or goals, you get to decide what is successful and what isn’t.  For instance, if you are looking to lose a certain amount of weight, you are bound to have a bunch of little successes along the way and it is important to celebrate them as you go.  It builds the momentum and positive energy you will need to stay the course and reach your ultimate goal.  Same thing goes for any goal really.  If you are starting a business, celebrate when you decide on the name of that business.  Celebrate when you find the space for that business.  Celebrate when you have 2 clients, or when you have 10.

The main thing to remember is to celebrate the journey because it is there that you will find many little successes that once built upon, create the life you once dreamt.

Think about it.  How do you define success as it pertains to your most current dream?  I would love to know.

Gratitude: Family Time and Sunrises

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With the holidays upon us and Thanksgiving just around the corner, I have decided to increase my gratitude practice to list one thing I am grateful for during the month of November (and hopefully December as well), on my Facebook page.  I am doing this because in the time I have begun regularly practicing gratitude, I have found such a tremendous change in my overall attitude about life, abundance, and what it means to be happy.  I am finding that I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways, even if my dreams were never to manifest (though I know they will).  I invite you to also join in the 30 days of gratitude for the month of November and see how it makes you feel, and what changes you notice in your own life.

 

This week the first thing I am grateful for is family time.  Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given and spending special time with my son and partner are absolutely priceless.  This week we did a little pumpkin carving, attended an Elmo and Friends event, and went trick or treating as a family.  I absolutely love the time we get to spend together, particularly the moments when I get to see my son smiling, or I can look at my partner and see the joy in her eyes.  It is during those times that I am fully awake and aware of the moment and nothing is more important than our little family.  I also find myself thanking the Divine for being blessed with so much love to give the two most important people in my life and as we venture towards adding to our family (hopefully in the near future), I look forward to more family time and more love to share.

This week I am also grateful for the beautiful sunrises I am blessed with each and every morning.  Living in South Carolina, I have been drawn to the vast beautiful skies both during the day and at night.  Each morning as I take my son to daycare it is quite dark and we have begun a practice of admiring the stars and the moon as we leave.  On my way home, this morning I was amazed at the gorgeous sunrise that greeted me just over the horizon.  I would have taken a picture to include here, but I was driving and was too mesmerized to even attempt to capture it on my cell phone.  The beauty took my breath away and reminded me yet again of the beauty that surrounds us everyday if we are open to it.

I hope you all have a marvelous weekend and remember the wonderful blessings you have, especially as so many are still struggling without power, heat, and basic necessities in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.  My prayers are with the victims that are working to get their lives back to normal in the wake of this natural disaster.

The other side of Rejection

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As a writer much of the writing process revolves around getting your writing published and in order to get accepted, you usually have to go through a lot of rejection.  And while some people can take the rejection in stride as they move onto their next project, I am still learning to look on the bright side.

Today I received an email stating several of my pieces that were under review for possible greeting cards had been rejected.  This isn’t the first time I have received a rejection, and while I am generally a little disappointed, I am usually able to move onward and upward.  Today was a little different.

Over the last few weeks I have been feeling like good news was just around the corner.  I just knew the next time I heard from the greeting card company, that I would be getting several pieces published.  I even had a number in my head of how many I felt were going to be published and a vivid picture of the check I would receive.  Imagine my disappointment when instead of getting a check in the mail, I got a rejection via email.

I was slightly stunned.  I really felt with all of my being that I was going to end this year on a really high note with my writing.  I could just feel it.  I knew that something big was going to happen and since I didn’t have anything else currently in the works (writing wise), this had to be it. Right?  Surprised, disappointed, and feeling a little rejected, I retreated to my office to update my list of pending poems.  It was there I realized I had a choice to make.

I could either wallow in my disappointment, trying to figure out what was “wrong” with my poems, or I could choose to look at the bright side.

I decided to find something positive to focus on, so instead of focusing on the 5 poems that were just rejected, I decided to look at the ones I have still in the process.  I counted almost 75 poems still being considered and of those 75, about 10 are in the final review process and are one step closer to being published.  That is truly something to celebrate.  I also realized while I could choose to take these “rejections” personally, the truth is it’s really not personal and if I have any hope of publishing an article, or book one day, I have to develop a thicker skin.  The business side of writing is not for the weak at heart, and the easier it is for me to take the rejections now, the better I will be down the line.

So where does that leave my gut feeling that something good is waiting just around the corner?  It’s a little bit shaken, but still there.  I still have high hopes of ending this year on a good note with my writing and I have 2 months for that to happen, but if it doesn’t, I will choose to see the good in the situation, just as I did today.

The moral of this story is this: Dreams are magical and perfect creations in our imagination and as they begin to manifest in our reality, it may not always go as planned, but there will always be a choice to see the good in the situation.  And if you make the choice to give up on your dream because of the challenges you face, it probably wasn’t your true passion to begin with.