Lamisha Serf-Walls

Profound Inspiration On Authenticity

by

The world we live in can often times make us feel like we have to play a specific role in order to “fit in”.  For misfits like myself it can become a tireless task to be accepted by all groups and to attempt to be like everyone else when deep down we know, we are just us.  Many of us are taught from a young age to merely exist and blend in with those around us.  Sure we want to be successful but at what cost?  The cost of our individuality?

There are many things that connect us as human beings, but a vast number of things that make us unique as well and those things are what make this life experience so amazing. (In my humble opinion.)  The fact that we all have our own experiences, opinions, decisions, and choices in this life make it the huge melting pot that it is, yet many people can’t seem to understand that “different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad”.  And so, many of us strive to live the lives we think we should when really our authentic selves are waiting to come to the surface.  For some it can take an entire lifetime of working hard to fit in, only to realize they were really meant to stand out and follow their heart’s desires all along.  Others realize it much sooner, but still live half of their lives ignoring and denying who they truly are on the inside.

These last few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking about authentic living.  I have had times in my life where I felt like I needed to fit in and have since begun what feels like a huge transition into living truly and authentically from my heart, and part of that authentic living means accomplishing my less than normal dreams.  And as I have begun sorting through my own beliefs on what is normal and what isn’t, I stumbled across some profoundly inspiring information/quotes that I want to share with you.

In the January 2013 issue of The Oprah Magazine, Oprah interviewed spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss about discovering happiness and finding our true path in this life.  One of the questions Carolyn was asked was why are people so confused about what they are meant to do in this life and her response resonated with me to my core.

“Because they define their life by what they want versus what they have.”

Wow…how many of us can think of a time when we have found ourselves unhappy due to not having something in particular?  What if we all took stock of what we have and live from a space of gratitude for those things instead of trying to keep up with society and what they dictate is enough?  I don’t think our lives should be defined by our possessions or the things we want to have, but more by who we are…our true, authentic selves.

The interview goes on to discuss life purpose and how many people find achieving their dreams and goals as a difficult thing.  They often find they are met with resistance and struggle.

“People suffer when they pursue a life or chase a dream that doesn’t belong to them.”

I had to stop for a moment and really absorb what this statement suggests.  If we are traveling a path that is not ours, meaning we are trying to live a life that is not authentic for us, then we are likely to be met with resistance, frustration, and challenge.  That is not to suggest that achieving our own dreams won’t have its own struggles and life lessons, but there will likely be a distinct difference in how those challenges feel.  The key is realizing when you are operating from your true self and when you are attempting to achieve a goal simply for the way it looks on the outside.  Are you achieving your dreams because it is your soul’s purpose or are you doing it for other reasons?

So, how do we find our life purpose?  By that I mean our true, authentic path that we are meant to travel in this lifetime.  What if you don’t know where to start?  Carolyn suggests:

“Have no judgments about your life.  No expectations.  Give up the need to know what happens tomorrow.  Just be fully present and appreciate all that is in your life right now.” 

Again, I don’t think she suggests sitting around and waiting for life to happen for you, but instead to be fully present with where you are right now and to listen.  Listen to your inner voice, your joy, and your passion.  It is likely you haven’t heard what it is trying to say if you have been attempting to live a life that isn’t yours.  Enjoy this moment, be grateful for it, and listen to what comes up for you.  I think you will find your true self shine through and it may be 180 degrees different from the life you were trying to live, but I firmly believe when we are living fully from our authentic selves, life simply flows.  You might just find that your true path offers more joy, happiness, and peace than you ever imagined.

Are you willing to live from that place?

Gratitude: Accepting Mistakes

by

I am finding my weekly gratitude practice changing and not in the way that I like.  As each week winds down I am finding it more difficult to remember specific moments during the week for which I am grateful, so I have decided to implement a daily gratitude practice written in a journal each day.  This will allow me to get into the flow of gratitude again and will help my weekly post here as well.

For this week as strange as it sounds I am grateful for accepting my mistakes.

As much as I would love to say (and feel) that I am perfect, of course I am not.  I make mistakes, but for some reason those mistakes affect me in a way that can be at times embarrassing and makes me really uncomfortable.  Of course no one likes to make mistakes, but that is usually where lessons are learned right?  Well I suppose I don’t prefer this method of learning lessons, I’d rather study the book of life, only there isn’t one.  So mistakes will happen and I will make many an I will learn from them (hopefully), though it isn’t always easy to accept.

Just a few moments ago, I realized I had made a mistake…several actually.  I was doing a task for my midnight hustle gig and it came to my attention that the link I had set up and sent to several people was incorrect.  This was the first time I had completed this task and I was a little anxious about doing it for fear of making a mistake, and sure enough I did.  Maybe it was my anxiety about making a mistake that caused it, or maybe my intuition was telling me to triple check everything.  Either way, the mistake was made.  Is it a world shattering, life altering, ginormous mistake? No, but sometimes it can feel that way.

So what have I learned???

I have learned to double and triple check my work.  I have learned to fix my mistakes as soon as I realize them and to accept it as a part of life.  Making mistakes doesn’t make me incompetent, irresponsible, or incapable of accomplishing my tasks.  What it does mean is that I am human and I am learning.

Mistakes are going to happen and when they do, I will look to them for the lessons they are teaching me instead of focusing on the how bad it feels at the time.  I am only human and what a blessing that is, mistakes included!

 

Gratitude: Health & Meditation

by

As another busy week comes to a close I am reminded of the many wonderful things to be grateful for. But the two things in particular I am grateful for this week are health and meditation.

I have noticed over the last few weeks many more posts on Facebook of friends describing various health concerns and issues they are going through. I have seen everything from blood clots and seizures to a case of meningitis in a dear friends baby girl that was just born. In the moments I have read these messages I am reminded that this cold I have been fighting all week is nothing more than a mere annoyance and that it could be worse. I also take a moment to send healing thoughts and say a prayer for those in need at the moment. For my current health and the health of my family, I am so grateful.

I am also grateful for my moments of meditation each day. I am finding that these moments of quiet help me to ground myself and mentally prepare for the day ahead. I am calmer and generally more centered and the result is a happier day. I am anxious to see how this continued practice will effect my life.

May you all have a lovely weekend and find many things to be grateful for.

Letter To My Future Self 2013

by

I have a confession to make.  I had the best intentions to get this letter completed in the first or second week of the year, but time got away from me.  Life happened both at work and at home and things just got plain busy, however I made a commitment to myself (and to you) that I would write this letter and so I have chosen to share (and write) it here.  There is a part of me that believes it wasn’t pure lack of planning and busyness that caused me to wait, but maybe a deeper knowing in what I wanted to say in the letter had to brew awhile before it was ready.  Well, ready or not, here it is…

Dear Lamisha,

When I look at the woman standing before me I am amazed.  Not only in the confidence you exude, but also the pure peace that emanates from your being.  The woman I knew in 2012 is long gone and a newer, more peaceful and centered woman stands before me, transformed.  I wish I could tell you that this transformation happened overnight, but you know better than that.  This transformation has taken place in much the same way all changes take place.  Step-by-step.  But it all started with your theme of the year.  Do you remember?  To simply be open.  To some it is vague, but for you it was a true lesson and the starting point of this transformation.

You see, by your willingness to be open to what life, the Universe, God, etc. has to offer and letting go of your control where you needed to, you welcomed in a trust you have never known before.  A trust that all is happening in the right time, for the right reasons, and this journey you are on is a wonderful adventure when you are open.  And it can be fun too!

Do you remember what your letter looked like for 2012?  Of course you do, it was cluttered with income amounts, possessions you wanted to have, and specific expectations that the old you wanted too much to control and yet very little on that list came to be and why is that?  Could it be you didn’t let go of the wheel enough to allow things to happen in their own time?  Possibly, or more likely it was all part of your path to get you here.  To the state of peace in allowing life to flow.

Please don’t think that ‘peace’ is your only accomplishment for this year, though it is your greatest, there are many other very exciting opportunities, situations, and adventures that you were open to.  Sure your blog following has grown, your book idea is no longer just an idea, your midnight hustle has developed into a more substantial income, and your life coach dream is taking flight, but even if all of that hadn’t happened and peace is all that was gained this year…it would be enough.  Because within peace lies the space to allow the magic of your dreams to come true.  And though I want to share with you every teeny, tiny, delightful morsel of your best year yet, and to warn you of some potential challenges, I will leave it to you to explore and enjoy.  Just know that as you move, evolve, and grow this year, you are transforming step-by-step into the peacefully grounded woman standing before me.

Enjoy the ride!

Dreams, Goals, and Bucket List Items

by

This evening I took some time to review my list of dreams located on my blog as I wanted to see what still fit and what didn’t.  I also planned on adding a few items that I have been thinking about for a few weeks, and I realized something.  The items I listed on my “Dreams” page weren’t all dreams.  In face I found they fit into one of three categories; Dreams, Goals, or Bucket List Items.  I had never really thought about the difference myself, but tonight I was struck by the various “dreams” I had listed, and realized that each had a different feel to me.  So what is the difference?

Dreams

For me dreams come from a place of passion and desire.  There is a spark and a constant inspiration to achieve these items. For me personally my dreams invoke a sense of service to others in an attempt to touch lives and to inspire, motivate, and create positive change, both with my clients and in the world as a whole.  These are the things I don’t go a day without thinking about.  They are the things you can find me talking about to anyone that will listen.  And though they may take longer to achieve, the fire is still burning bright.  They are things I need to do and in some cases are the very things I feel called to do.  My life purpose if you will.

Goals

Goals on the other hand are more checkpoints or markers on my journey.  These are things that aren’t a necessity in my soul, but are more of an accomplishment.  You might even say these are ego driven in how specific they may be. At some point I may have a goal that sets a specific number of clients in a month or amount of money I want to bring in from writing each month.  My goals are things I want to accomplish and are things I strive for, but they are not things I think about daily.

Bucket List Items

My bucket list items are simply that.  Things I want to do or experience to enhance the fun and adventure in my life.  Things I want to try that I have never tried, places I want to visit etc.  They are things that would enhance my experience in this life and are likely to teach me lessons along the way, but are purely for the experience.

Each of these categories of things, accomplishments, and intentions are slightly different from the other, but they are all areas that are important to me.  And though I may not complete all of the items on every list this year, I am sure that by simply having the list, I will accomplish more than I would otherwise.

Please visit my updated list here, and feel free to share your own dreams, goals, or bucket list items.  I would love to hear about them!