Lamisha Serf-Walls

Lessons Learned: Be Brave, Tiny Steps, & Fun Is Important

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photo from: enterprisenation.com

Friday posts are generally my Gratitude posts and while I will maintain my gratitude practice outside of the blog, I wanted to begin a new series titled: Lessons Learned.

With each new step in my business and life changes overall, I feel like I am continually evolving and growing.  And while some weeks feel more like growing pains, my hope is to reflect on the lessons I have learned each week so I am more aware of what I am learning in the moment.  I hope you will join me in reflecting on your week as I am sure we all are learning new lessons about life, love, and the pursuit of our dreams.

This week has included a plethora of opportunities for me to engage my bravery skills to do some things that sort of scared me.  My intuition was telling me I needed to send two emails in order to not only grow as a person, but also to get more comfortable with various aspects of the business world.  I listened to my inner guidance and hit send and even before I received any correspondence back, I knew I had done the right thing regardless of the outcome.  I also had to make a big decision regarding my business logo.  I had so many options to choose from and after momentarily feeling like I was going to select the “wrong” one, I listened to my own advice (imagine that) and followed my gut.  I can’t wait to share it with you when it is complete because it is gonna be gorgeous!!

Lesson: Follow your intuition and be brave in spite of your fear.  You will be glad you did.

I have also been working on brainstorming some ideas for other services and products I want to create and offer to my clients.  I found my inspiration well a bit dry, however I realized I hadn’t really taken the time to sit down and think about it.  Until last night.  In a matter of 20 minutes by simply reviewing old notes, ideas, and doing a little research I had a light bulb moment!  Once the idea hit, I was off and writing and am even more inspired now about how I can implement this new idea.  Again I can’t wait to get this project under way and share it with you!

Lesson: You don’t need to make quantum leaps to achieve your dreams.   Tiny steps make a huge difference.

My last lesson is one I just learned today.  As the summer has flown by, I found myself yearning for just a little getaway.  Not a huge vacation or anything too extravagant, but something easy to end the summer.  After thoughts like “I should really wait,” or “We really shouldn’t spend the money,” etc. I decided I wanted to find a way to have an affordable end of the summer trip and I am proud to say it is in the works.

Lesson: Business is important, but fun is too.  The work will be there when you get back so when you find yourself questioning whether you should or shouldn’t remember fun is important. 

Decisions, Decisions Which Will You Choose?

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Everyday we are making hundreds of decisions.  Decisions about what time to wake up, what to wear, what to eat, where to go, how to get there etc.  Some decisions are not huge life-altering choices and are seemingly easier to make.  If I decide to wake up at 5 am as opposed to 5:30 am, I can make that choice rather easily.  When I decide what to eat for lunch, I simply ask myself, “What do I feel like eating?”, and if it is readily available, I will eat that.  Many times these daily decisions require little to no assistance from anyone but ourselves, giving us the freedom to follow our emotions, inspiration, and our own feelings to choose between choice A and choice B.

Then there are the other decisions.

You know, the ones that feel huge, life-altering, oh-my-goodness-I-hope-I-make-the-right-choice, kind of decisions.  Those decisions are much less easy-going and can create a lot of anxiety, frustration, and worry.  Decisions about what house to buy, what career to choose, or what partner is right for us.  These are the decisions we talk to our friends, parents, spouses, and co-workers about in order to ensure we are making the right decision and yet, even with the advice from so many people, we still question some of our choices.  steve_jobs_quotes

I guess you could say many of us believe that someone else knows more about us than we do.  Maybe they are more experienced, more educated, more successful, etc., and in our eyes, they know what is best for us.  The problem with always consulting someone else on major life decisions, we lose our sense of power and freedom.  When we believe someone else knows what is best for us more than we do, we are giving away our power to someone else and in turn can lose our confidence to make choices in the future.

How many of us made a choice for our careers based on someone else’s advice.  Maybe we thought that a certain field would be more profitable or we would be more successful in it, yet we always knew it wasn’t the best place for us.

The truth is some of us (me included) have been taught to believe that there is a right and a wrong decision in life, but there isn’t.  There are simply choices that will lead you down one path or another (or many).  There is no formula that you can use to determine which is right and which is wrong because it is different for every person. 

Bummer huh?

So, how do you know what is the right career path, product, partner, business decision, etc. for you?

The best way is to listen to your intuition.  You know that feeling in your gut that causes you to pick up the phone to call someone just as they were going to call you for something.  That’s the one.  It is also what I call leading with your inspiration.

When you follow the same principles for the big decisions as you do for the little ones, you learn to trust your intuition.  Did you consult with all of your friends and family members before you selected your breakfast this morning?  Probably not.  You most likely followed your intuition or inspiration for what you wanted to eat.

The same goes for making any other decision in life.  Sure, some of the bigger decisions may require some research etc., but if you can quiet your mind and get in touch with what you are feeling, you will be able to feel for the best decision for you.

In my coaching, I work with my clients to help them get more in tune with their inspiration.  I encourage them to follow what feels good to them and to listen to their internal compass (their emotions) to decide what is right for them. As they follow their intuition and lead with their inspiration, amazing opportunities and big shifts happen in what we are working on.

Are you interested in learning how to trust your intuition and follow your inspiration to finally live the life of your dreams? What to know more about how I can help you?  Visit my services page to see how I can help you make major moves toward your dreams.  What are you waiting for?  Send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com to schedule a FREE coaching call.

 

From Faith To Fear And Back Again

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I know I typically begin the week with either my Inspiration Round-up or Dreamer Highlight, but in light of keeping it real with you lovely readers, I decided to start the week this post instead.  It is something I have been dealing with in the past few weeks and I am sure many of you have (or will) go through it as well.

I spent most of June and July imagining, envisioning, and creating my coaching framework as well as figuring out how I would present the information to potential clients.  The process was very easy-going and high-flying as everything was so exciting.  I didn’t feel a sense of urgency to get things completed by a certain date because I was simply following my inspiration to the very next step.  I had this intuitive knowing that August 1st would be when I open practice up to take new clients.  I had an idea that once I did, clients would come to me and would immediately want to get started.  I even went so far as to set a goal for how many new clients I wanted to book by the end of the month.

We are halfway through the month and I am not anywhere near my goal.  Fear

Bummer.

Actually it hit me much harder than just a “bummer” moment.  In fact, I have found myself deep in the throes of doubtful thinking, fear, and disbelief. My self-talk was running rampant as I condescendingly asked myself “How could you actually believe it would take off so easily?”

This was an admittedly ugly place to be for sure.

As I began moving through the muck of self-doubt, I realized I had allowed fear to take the place of the light, easy-going faith I had as I created my coaching model seemingly effortlessly.  Through that process I kept reassuring myself (read my Ego) that I didn’t have to have it mapped out as to how, when, and who would want to work with me.  I just knew that as long as I do what I love and stay true to myself the people who are meant to work with me will.

While I might have doubted how quickly I would book clients, I never once questioned that life coaching is what I am meant to do.

This weekend I did some thinking about my client goal for this month and couldn’t help but wonder if I had made a mistake by having a number I wanted to hit for the month.  Instead of focusing on writing blog posts, working with my current awesome clients, and creating resources for my readers, I found myself keeping score of how many clients I had (or didn’t have).  And while we are taught in the traditional/logical business world to set goals, map out a plan, and execute, I am beginning to see that might not be the best tactic for me.  My philosophy does center around following my inspiration and the general goal setting is not all that inspirational for me.

So, I am happy to say I have moved through the muck and am moving back into trusting this process.  I honestly believe and know that if you do what you love, the rest will fall into place, so that is exactly what I plan on doing.

In the past two weeks I have moved from a place of faith in the process to fear and back again and I must say it feels so much better.

Do I think I will always be high-flying and trust the process?  Probably not, but I now know it is not where I have to stay.  I can allow my Ego to have her say before I kindly tell her to relax and trust the process.  And what is even better than that?  I can use my personal experience to help my clients who may be struggling with the same thing.

Where do you have doubts in your life?  I am interested to know how you deal with your own doubts, please feel free to share below!

 

The Real Deal…

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When I first set out to create my blog, I had this idea to keep most posts upbeat and positive.  I wanted this to be a place of inspiration, motivation, and information to help people move confidently in the direction of their dreams.  I wanted it to be a space of uplifting posts, quotes, and tips to help readers focus on the positive.  As a life coach, I thought it was my duty to keep things light, bright, and positive all the time.

I was wrong.

What I think makes me good at what I do is the fact that I am human and I struggle with many of the same issues my clients do.  I have bad days full of frustration, doubt, and sometimes fear.  I have had my experience with the Dream Crusher on more than one occasion, and there are days when I need to be reminded that I have the power and ability to live the life of my dreams.

I am not perfect.  Authenticity

I don’t always pounce out of bed with a beaming smile and positive attitude.  Sometimes I try too hard and more often than not, I need to take a step back from the immediate issue and look at the bigger picture.  My life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.  I often struggle with disappointment and worry as I move through my journey and instead of sharing those moments with you, I have remained silent.

There have been many days when I wanted to share something uplifting, but I simply wasn’t in that state of mind and instead of sharing with you my perspective and how I am learning to deal with various situations, I write nothing at all.  I have allowed my idea of being a super-human up-lifter get in the way of sharing my authentic self with you.  For that I am sorry.

Does it make me any less of a coach to confess that I don’t always have it together?  I don’t think so.  In fact, I think it makes me a more effective coach because I know what it is like to have down moments in life.  We all do.  And while I admit to having my fair share of struggles, I also have a variety of tools that I use to help combat those not-so-positive moments and they are tools that I want to share with you.

The truth is I love what I do.  I love working with people and helping them follow their inspiration to live the life of their dreams, but I don’t want to misrepresent myself in the process.  I am an up-lifter that sometimes needs to be uplifted and I’m ok with that, because isn’t that what life is all about?  It’s not about being perfect, it’s about learning, sharing, and experiencing life as much as possible.  And I have to say, if it wasn’t for the struggles I have (and will) encounter in life, I wouldn’t be able to help my clients deal with their own, because sometimes you have to go through it to understand it.

 

Inspiration Round-up

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inspiredFor the past several weeks I have been doing Dreamer Highlights on people who I have found that are living the life of their dreams in some way.  These posts are meant to inspire you and prove that anything is possible, even that seemingly ginormous dream you want to accomplish.  In addition to finding people who are inspiring, I have found many articles, videos, and interviews that have a lot of good information that I would like to share with you.  So, once a week I will be posting either an Inspiration Round-up post or a Dreamer Highlight to help motivate and inspire you to do amazing things!!

With that said, here is the first installment of the newly created Inspiration Round-up.

  • This is the latest interview from Lilou Mace, a woman I have spoken about several times on my blog. In this interview she speaks with Jack Canfield (creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books) about dreaming, success, and how to figure out what your life purpose might be.  Great information and I promise it will leave you with your head in the clouds.
  • This video I stumbled upon today and is a Ted Talk by a woman/musician/actress named Amanda Palmer.  Her talk is titled “The Art of Asking” and she shares how she came to the realization that asking is an art, skill, and is a way for us to share our talents, resources etc. with each other.  I absolutely love this video.  Enjoy!
  • Another great interview from Lilou Mace with Joseph Clough who has been helping people realize their potential since he was 18.  Joseph is a hypnotist and life coach helping people find what they want to do, what they are meant to do, and helping them overcome any personal blocks that they may find along the way.
  • One of my favorite videos from none other than Kid President.  Do you need a pep-talk?  “You were made to be AWESOME!” Watch this, smile, remember you can do anything, and create something that will make the world awesome.

I hope you enjoyed this inspiration round-up and I look forward to sharing many more with you in the future.

Have you read something recently that you want to share? Please feel free to pass the info along in the comments section.  I would love to see where you find your inspiration.