Lamisha Serf-Walls

Don’t Borrow Trouble

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The last two days have been interesting.  I have found myself in the weirdest of moods and somehow my inspiration has fallen by the wayside.  I can’t quite put my finger on what has changed in the last two days, but I do know that it will pass.

We all have these moments don’t we?  Times when things aren’t “bad” or “good” and instead they hang somewhere in the space between two extremes and just feel “meh”.  It is part of the ebb and flow of life and while I tried many ways get out of this mood none of them worked.  So, after trying everything in my be-happy-arsenal, I just let it be.

I stopped trying to fight the inevitable feeling of blah and accepted it for what it is…a pause in action, momentum, and a chance to just be.  Does that sound too hippp-dippy for you?  Think of it as a break.  A break from whatever it is I needed a break from…sometimes even we don’t know what that is.letitbe

While I would like to say I am so good at simply being, I’m not.  I tend to fight the feeling especially when I am in moods like these.  A feeling that is hard to name and almost impossible to find the source of.  Yet, being the overachiever, I can do anything, go-getter that I tend to be…I had to know.

So, I began thinking about all the many reasons I could feel like this.  Is it the weather? Job frustrations? Personal issues? Worry about the future? Stress?  No matter what reason I gave it, none of them felt right and then I had to ask myself…

Why am I borrowing trouble?

I first heard this term from a co-worker a few years ago and if you don’t know what borrowing trouble is, it is worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet and creating undue stress, frustration, and anything else that is not needed in the moment.  That is exactly what I was doing.

Somehow I thought that if I could name it or find the source, then it would cease to exist.  That if only I could figure it out and wrestle it to the ground, I could somehow solve the mystery and get back to my bubbly, inspired self, and move forward with all the good stuff on my path.

I was wrong.

So, I settled with the feeling and decided to let it hang around for a bit, hoping that it would slowly dissipate.  Lucky for me it is working.  I am beginning to feel a bit better and hope that with some additional rest, listening to my body, and just being, I will be back to my regular self again soon.  In the meantime, I am remembering a very important lesson about not borrowing trouble and I want to pass it along to you.

When you find yourself worrying about something that is not in this very moment, you are borrowing trouble.  When you are wondering how something is going to happen and trying to think of all the ways it can go wrong, you are borrowing trouble.  When you are trying desperately to figure something out instead of allowing it to be what it is and letting go a little bit, you have the potential to be borrowing trouble.  And when you are feeling a feeling that you can’t quite figure out instead of listening to what it is telling you, you may be borrowing trouble.

There is enough “trouble” in the world without us looking for it, so why not take some time to just be in the moment and learn whatever lesson it is here to teach us, knowing that it will soon pass.

The good news about these moments and moods is that it helps us remember who we want to be, how we want to feel, and creates a sense of gratitude for the good stuff.  So, if you find yourself in a similar situation remember, don’t go borrowing trouble and in the words of Abraham Hicks, “hang on it will be over soon.”

You Have A Gift: Find It, Embrace It, and Share It!

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I may not know all of you lovely readers personally, but there is one thing I do know about you.

You have a gift.giftquote

You may not be aware of it entirely, but I assure you it is there and it is meant to be shared with the world!

You might be thinking…”Who me?”, “I have nothing to give that is of value.”, “What do I know?”

And if I were coaching you, I would say, “Yes YOU.”, “You have so much to offer the world that only YOU can.”, “You know more than you think you do.”

And I promise all of those statements are true.

The problem we come across as we ponder our gift, is that there is this belief that only really special people have a gift.  The truth is, yes really special people have gifts to give, and we all fall into that category.

Each one of us brings with us our own unique experiences, thoughts, ideas, feelings, outlooks, and perspectives to life.  Each of us have our own interests, beliefs, dreams, and gifts to give to the world.

Not all of us know it.

I want you to take some time this weekend and ponder what your gift might be if you aren’t entirely sure.  I’ll tell you a little secret, it is probably something you do easily, frequently, and without thinking.  It is probably even something you really enjoy doing.  Just take some time to think about what it might be.  If you are still unsure, ask around to the people that know you and see what they say.

If you already know what your gift is, take some time to celebrate it.  If it’s knitting, knit a new scarf or sweater.  If it’s cooking, try a new recipe.  If it’s writing, by golly get to your computer or notepad and get to work.  Are you an artist?  Dust off your paint brushes and get busy!

Embrace the gift you have been given and use it.  Love it.  Enjoy it.  Express it.

Share it!!

I strongly believe our gifts are meant to be loved, embraced, and shared with others.  That is what life is all about.  So get out there and do what you love!!!

Don’t let the naysayers, doubts, Dream Crushers, lack of confidence, or any other thing stop you from using your gift this weekend.  Just do it and watch what happens next.

I can’t wait to hear how it goes!

Until next week friends, have a lovely weekend and as always thanks for reading!

Intention and Small Actions=Progress

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how quickly things have happened in terms of my dream of becoming a life coach.  Just last night as I worked on getting my new Facebook page up and running, I remembered a time not too long ago when this was just a dream.  My coaching business was a thought, a hope, a desire that felt like it was off in the distance somewhere.  It wasn’t until I took the leap of faith, that it all became real.

In an instant.  universe

I have seen this phenomenon happen over and over again.  It seems that when we make a choice to do something and put even the smallest action into it, things seem to unfold almost magically.  The intention and thought have a way of creating a bit of momentum and even the smallest step adds just enough energy to allow everything to align and progress is made.  Add a little more action and the pieces continually fall into place.

Is this a formula for guaranteed success?  Not necessarily.  There are some things that require more intention, a bit more action, and what seems like a lot of momentum…while you are in it.  I can tell you there have been many times when I feel like I am standing still in terms of progress and then when I look back on it, I realize I have come much further than I realized.  Sometimes you just have to be easy about your dreams.

What I find interesting is how often we hear people talking about setting a goal, creating an action plan, working the action plan, working hard, etc. in order to reach your goals.  I think this method works for some people, but I find myself taking score of what I have yet to accomplish.  I am constantly looking at if I have arrived in order to move on and if I haven’t, I tend to get discouraged.

I find that setting an intention to do, be, or have something sets the energetic wheels in motion and when you follow your inspiration to the next step because it just feels right, there lies another opportunity for progress.  Continue to follow that feeling and you will find yourself much further than you ever thought you could be.

Sometimes you don’t need a step-by-step map of how to get to your dream.  With a vision, an open mind, and a little action, you can trust that your intuition and inspiration will lead you to the very next step.  And if you aren’t sure where to start, just take a tiny step and watch as your path is illuminated little-by-little.

What can you do today to get you to the very next step?  Share in the comments below, I would love to hear your intentions!

Lessons Learned in Attitude, Faith, and Signs

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I don’t know about you, but this week has offered me many opportunities for growth which also means it has had it’s fair share of challenges…and by fair share I mean A LOT.  However, I would like to think I have taken each one in stride and learned a little along the way.

Lesson: Attitude is everything. Attitude

In the last week my family and I have been in a car accident (everyone is ok thank goodness), I found out the company I work for full-time is eliminating my position in the next 3 months, and our washer died-all of which happened before we were heading out-of-town for a nice relaxing weekend away.  While any one of these occurrences could have sent me into an anxiety-ridden-tizzy, I took each one as it came and tried to focus on the good.  I couldn’t change the fact that we had tons of paperwork to deal with due to the accident, but I could be grateful we were all safe.  I couldn’t beg to stay with my current company, but I am able to be grateful that they gave me 3 months notice.  I can’t fix the washer on my own, but we can figure out a way to make it work.  Did it seem like the Universe was delivering a huge storm of gloom this past week, yes, but in changing my attitude even just a little, I was able to see the bright side.  Did I get there immediately?  No.  After a little bit of shock and some tears I decided the only thing I could change was my attitude and that is just what I did.

Lesson: If you have faith that everything will work out for the best, nothing can stop you.

FaithMoments after I received the news about my full-time job, I broke down into tears.  There was a distinct feeling of “what am I going to do?” coupled with a feeling of overwhelming calm.  It sounds weird I know, but it was almost as if, part of me knew without a shadow of a doubt that this moment was the beginning of something far greater than the job I had.  I gave myself a few minutes to feel the worry for the future and afterwards, I felt the faith and trust in my heart that all would be just fine.  And while I have had moments of “I wonder how, or when, or what…”, my faith is there keeping me moving in the right direction.

Lessons:  If you are open, the Universe will deliver signs that let you know you are on the right track.

I have talked about inspirational nuggets that serve as gentle nudges leading us to the next step in our journey and while I didn’t receive any specific signs of where to turn next, I did receive (what I believe to be) signs that everything is going to be just fine.

Right after hearing the news about my full-time position being eliminated, I had an appointment to go to.  On the way I was talking to a friend about my faith in the process and how I just knew this was opening my world to something far greater than I could imagine.  As I was going on about what may be in my future, I saw a field of probably 100 white birds that I had never seen before.  There were so many, I had to take notice and as I did, I saw one was perched on the fence close to the street.  He seemed to be watching my car drive by.  I told my friend about what I had just seen and she said this was my confirmation that all was going to be ok and I had a feeling she was right.  A bit later when I drove by again the bird was still perched on the fence and he caught my eye again.  At this point I was convinced there was some sort of message or sign.

Photo from: www.jrcompton.com
Photo from: www.jrcompton.com

Now I am all about symbolic meaning, synchronicities, no coincidences etc. and this felt like one of those moments so I was eager to know what type of bird it was and any symbolic meaning behind it.

I found that the bird was either an Egret or a Heron and they symbolize peace, going with the flow, patience, prosperity, good luck, self-reliance etc.  I was amazed and comforted, but most of all excited for what the future holds for me.  As it unfolds, I will continue to be open to the signs, symbols, and inspirational nuggets that will guide the way.

So, that is what I have learned this week.  What have you learned?

4 Phases To The Life Of Your Dreams

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When I set out to create my coaching model, I began thinking about my own process in creating a coaching practice.  I pondered the struggles, challenges, and frustrations I encountered (and still encounter) and put it all together into a 4-phase model.  This doesn’t mean everyone fits perfectly into one phase or another or even moves through them linearly, but I have found that many people deal with these phases at some point as they move toward their dreams.

Phase 1:  Dream Discovery- I have found there are people who either know what their dream is or they don’t and usually the ones that don’t know simply haven’t labeled a specific hobby, thought, or want as a dream.  There are however, people who have forgotten how to dream.  These are the people who have been taught to move through life based on their core survival needs.  They may go to school and study a subject they are good at or follow in the footsteps of a family member because they were expected to.  They may be in a career that pays the bills, but doesn’t necessarily bring them joy.  They may even be people who don’t know it’s possible to do what you love and get paid for it and are strictly living in a “survival of the fittest” mentality.  daretodream

These are people who need help dreaming again.  They are people that I work with to broaden their horizon about life and open their eyes and minds to having the wonder of a child again.  I help them use their imaginations and allow the restrictions of logical thinking to go out the window and tap into the child that always wanted to ________(fill in the blank).  Too often, we feel we need to grow up and let go of that pipe dream that still lies within us.  The truth is if we tapped into that place more, we would not only be happier, but we would find that life is limitless and there is a power within us that allows us to do ultimately anything!

Phase 2: Feel The Magic- Phase 2 is really about keeping the magical feeling of wonder alive.  It’s about allowing our dreams to take our thoughts where they may and to get into the knowing that anything is possible.  There are some people who know what they want to do, but have difficulty figuring out how to do it because they only see one or two ways.  (I was one of these people.)  Clients in this phase typically have a vision of how they will achieve a specific dream, yet for some reason it hasn’t worked out.  They may be frustrated and stagnant in their dream and need a bit of assistance bringing the magic back to fuel their vision.  I help clients do just that.  I help them tap into the feeling place of the dream and help them to imagine the thousands of ways it could happen.  Once they let go of the notion that it can only be achieved in one specific way, they find a multitude of possibilities that ignite their passion again.magic

I have found this phase to be one that clients come back to again and again as a means to refuel their vision.  Sometimes everyday life can cause us to forget the amazing possibilities that exist in the world as we focus on the “real world” that comes in the form of bills, responsibilities, family, work, etc.  Sometimes we just need to sit back and remember the magic that is all around us and when we do that, we realize anything is possible, even our dream life.

 

Phase 3: Protect Your Dream– Protecting your dream is probably one of the most important pieces of the process.  Once we are able to identify our dream, feel the possibility and magic in it, it is important to ensure we don’t allow Dream Crushers to cause us to doubt ourselves.  We need to also ensure that even during times when we lose some confidence or aren’t sure where to go that we remember what inspired us in the first place and get back to the magical feeling of our vision.  It is there we find additional inspirational nuggets that will lead us to the next step.  protectdream

Phase 3 is really about building self-confidence, dealing with fear, possible failure, and any other nuance that can cause us to doubt the possibility of making dreams a reality.  During this phase I work with clients to get to the core of the doubt and other self-limiting beliefs that are holding them back and can even provide exercises to use between sessions to keep the Dream Crusher thoughts at bay.

Another important note is that as your vision grows and evolves you may revisit this phase more than once on different subjects/issues, but know that each time you move through it with more courage, confidence, and belief in yourself than you had before.

Phase 4:  Live The Dream: At first glance this phase may seem easy.  Sure you go through each of the other phases doing the “work” and then this is where you finally see the benefit of your work.  That is only partially true.  Yes, this phase is about allowing your dream to transition into reality, but it is an ongoing process.  This is where clients implement their ideas and take inspired action to the next step.  Ideally they have created their vision, aligned with the magical essence of it, dealt with any limiting beliefs, and are now confidently flowing toward a new reality, but that isn’t always how it works.

I am seeing many people moving through this phase as they transition through some of the other phases as well.  For instance, someone who knows what they want may begin taking inspired action and come up against struggles and frustrations that cause them to want to give up or they have allowed the beliefs of others to dictate what they can and can’t achieve.livedream

When I created this loose model, I knew instantly it was not going to be a simple linear equation because life isn’t like that.  Life is a journey of discovery and while it would be nice (sometimes) to simply follow a set map from point A to point B, it wouldn’t be nearly as fun and this process is much the same.  A fun, free-flowing process of discovery and evolution that will ultimately lead to a you living a life you once dreamt.

Do you find yourself falling into one or many of the phases above and want to test the life coaching waters?  If so, I am still offering FREE introductory calls to anyone interested in working with me.  Please feel free to send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com to get set up.  I look forward to working with you!