Lamisha Serf-Walls

Purging: Stuff, Ideas, and Clutter

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While many people tend to do the whole “Spring Cleaning” thing, I tend to do it sporadically throughout the year.  I have no rhyme or reason to it and I don’t really schedule it either.  I simply get this incredible urge to clear out my physical space to create a better flow.  One of those times tends to come at the end of the year.

It’s that time again.letgo

I have been feeling this incredible urge to organize, purge, and open up the space around me, but it doesn’t just stop there.  I am also doing a lot of mental and spiritual work.  I am setting some internal intentions for how I want the rest of the year to go and making plans for 2014 as well.  While I haven’t done much physical purging as of late, I have a feeling I am going to be doing so much more in the coming weeks to make room for all the amazing things coming in the new year.

There are a few reasons I tend to get this way particularly around the new year.  One is the fact that I am somewhat of a minimalist.  I don’t need a ton of stuff and I can easily part with most items if I don’t like them anymore or don’t use them.  Clothes are the easiest for me.  I have a closet full of clothes now, but much of what I have I don’t wear since I work from home.  I guess knowing new things typically come in around the holidays, I want to make sure I am making room for them and keeping things I know I will be using.

When it comes to ideas, I have a tendency to reflect on the past year while planning (loosely) for the year ahead.  I can see a lot of growth in the past year and look forward to what is coming in the new year and letting go of some of  my old beliefs can be helpful in that regard.  This one isn’t always smooth sailing.  I tend to learn lessons throughout the year and learn them again and again as time wears on.  Some things are easier for me while others remain sticking points much longer than I would like and as I am growing my business I have lots of ideas that I want to get rid of.

When I talk about clutter, there is the very physical clutter that I just can’t stand (i.e. piles of papers, unnecessary items etc.) as well as the unnecessary time clutter.  This can come in the form of practices that are no longer working for me, habits, or commitments that no longer fit my bigger vision.  This is probably going to be the toughest thing for me pare down as I like to be busy.  I also have a tendency to pride myself on longevity in a task or position and letting go of something that no longer fits my bigger vision can be difficult.

My Purging Lists:

Stuff:

  • Clothes and shoes I no longer fit or like
  • Papers, magazines, books that I won’t be reusing or don’t need
  • All of my full-time work “stuff” once this job ends (shredding documents I no longer need now and recycling them)
  • Odds and ends taking up space in closets and storage bins that are not needed/necessary

Ideas:

  • Thoughts that I should be further than I am with my business
  • “Realistic” beliefs that I can only earn a certain amount of money from my business in the first year
  • Comparing where I am in my business progress to others who have been doing it longer

Time Clutter:

  • Excessive Facebook/email checking
  • Too much technology usage during weekend time
  • Jobs that do not interest me

I hope that by letting go of some of the overall clutter above, I will be allowing myself to be much more intentional about what I do with my time, energy, and thoughts.  Let’s face it, you have to be willing to let things go for new things to come in and what better way to get started than to let go of the old stuff that may be holding you back?  As my current position comes to an end, I know my time, schedule, and surroundings will clear out and that will invite new projects, ideas, and inspiration to flow in.

What are you willing to let go of?

Got Time?

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My, how quickly things change.  I went from being less than motivated to a fast and furious flurry of activity in a matter of 24 hours!  Not only was my inspiration sparked, but I was able to dig in and get busy on my list of things to be done and boy did it feel great…that is until time began to feel restrictive.Time

I know I am not alone in this.  It seems over the years we have spent more time adding things to our schedule because we just want to do it all right now!  I am very guilty of that being a “yes” person and all.  I find myself quickly saying yes to new projects, responsibilities, events etc., only to find I am a bit stressed at the thought of doing it all.  Especially if some of those things don’t necessarily line up with what I want for the moment.

It seems the more we pack our schedule full of “stuff”, the less time we have for doing the things we love.  For exploring new ventures or taking time for our dreams.  In fact, the second highest answer I got for why people aren’t living the life of their dreams is that they don’t have the time…or better yet they can’t find it.

Time is not meant to be found.  You can’t go looking in nooks and crannies of the sofa for more time to do something.  It’s not exactly how that works.  I have heard the saying “carve out the time” as if you were carving a pumpkin.  It sounds a bit labor intensive to me, but it is how we live these days.

Like lack of money, lack of time for some people is a major challenge when it comes to moving forward with their dreams.  Some people feel that they have so many responsibilities that it might be selfish to take time away from those things to do something that they want to do.  While I understand where those thoughts might come from, I respectfully disagree.

I think it is much more harmful for us to not do the things we love and the things that are important for us.  I decided to follow my dreams for a variety of reasons, but one of them was so I could teach my son that he can and should do it too.  Whatever he decides is his life’s calling and passion, he should find a way to do that.  Does it mean I have to “find time” to do it?

Not exactly.

Here are a few tips in making time for your dreams.  Some of these are things I implement and others I have taken from working with various clients.

  • Sent an intention to do things you love to do, even if you don’t specifically plan for this time, the intention itself can open doors to more time
  • Get a clear vision of what you would do with the given time.  If you don’t know what you would do with it, chances are you aren’t going to be able to make time.
  • Be okay saying “No” sometimes.  I know this is a big one for me.  Saying “No” to things that don’t resonate with you or that don’t add value to your life is not only ok to do, but it is a must if you are going to be moving forward with your dreams.  Remember you can’t just dig up a bunch of free time.
  • Say “Yes” to your dreams.  This is a big one too.  Know that your dreams are important to you.  Feel the pull and the inspiration to do them.  Allow that pull to grab you and take you where it may because it just might create the exact amount of time you need to do it.
  • Hire a coach.  Working through some of the other challenges that may hold you back can help you see where you can make the time to do the things you love.
  • Take note of what you are doing with your time.  Are you spending a ton of time on Facebook and other social media sites that can suck the life right out of you? Perhaps you want to try a bit of 15-Minute Magic to help limit your social media time.
  • Ask yourself what you want to do often.  I know there are many of us that don’t necessarily want to go to work everyday, but if that is true, take a small step forward to change that.  Being mindful of what you really want to do as opposed to doing things because you have to do them can make all the difference in the world.
  • Spend some time away to visualize, dream big, and immerse yourself in inspirational surroundings.  This gives your mind a break and allows you to loosely focus on your goals.  You can often allow that lovely, easy, inspired feeling to carry you back to your daily life and you might find that you are more able to let some things go.
  • Hire help.  In addition to hiring a coach, you might think about hiring a babysitter, a maid, or someone else to come in and assist you every now and again to provide you the uninterrupted time you need to follow through with your inspired action.

The biggest thing to remember here is to take responsibility for your dreams.  Give them a chance to grow into something truly beautiful for you.  I always say we dream for a reason and that reason is not to make us feel badly about our circumstances.  Our dreams are the precursor to change in our lives.  They cause us to make some much-needed changes, to think outside the box, and to enjoy this thing called life.

Don’t allow your dreams to lie dormant anymore.  No more excuses about why you can’t do it, because you most certainly can and once you make that declaration, watch as the pieces, signs, contacts, money, time, and everything else you may need begin to fall into place.

What are you waiting for???

Visualize, Be Inspired, Take Small Steps, Repeat

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Last week I posted about being open to the many possibilities regarding how money can flow into our lives and there by opening opportunities to living the life you want to live.  For many, money is the limiting factor before they even get started.  It’s a roadblock they throw up as they begin thinking about what their dream life might look like.  They tend to not get very far in their vision because the pesky idea that they must have the money first, causes them to stop dead in their tracks.bliss quote

I have heard many times over the years that when you do what you love the money just follows.  I always surmised that in order for me to do what I love, I had to have the money first.  In my linear way of thinking that is all I could come up with and so I worked backwards.  If I needed the money before I could do what I loved, then I would have to find a way for me to get the money and most often it meant doing something that I didn’t like doing to get it.  I was stuck.

I realize now what all that talk about doing what you love and allowing the money to follow was about.  It’s not about you doing something to make money as much as it is doing something because it brings you joy.  Isn’t that worth more anyways?  I know there are bills to pay and responsibilities to take care of, but who says right this very moment you have to quit your job and take a flying leap into the land of who knows what?  That’s not what I am saying at all.

What I mean is that when you take a step (no matter how small it might be) to follow your heart, things just seem to line up and opportunities fall into place, many times from resources you didn’t even think about.  Life is full of these situations and I am sure you have had something like this happen once or twice before.

I have had it happen a lot and each time I smile, laugh a little, and feel the amazing feeling of pieces falling into place.  I remind myself even in times when things are lackluster and feeling stagnant, that these moments happen all the time, and as long as I am doing what I love and following my heart, the pieces will fall into place.  For me those pieces are often money, resources, contacts, opportunities, and amazing gifts that I had never thought about.

Still not convinced it can happen for you?

I have a little exercise for you to try.  Think about your ultimate dream.  Maybe it is starting a business, writing a book, traveling the world, or writing and producing an amazing film that will change the world.  Whatever it may be, think about it.  Visualize it.  Feel it and allow your imagination to run wild for a moment.  Don’t think about the steps to get there.  Don’t think about whether it is realistic or not, just envision it.  See all the details and feel the excitement you will have once it is real.  Smile and be inspired. Got the image?

inspirationNow, I want you to take one step toward that vision.  Something that feels easy to do.  If you are writing a book, think about the title or the main characters name.  Write it down.  If you are wanting to start a business, do an internet search for others like it.  The key here is to do something that doesn’t seem like a big deal, but is a step in the right direction.  Take note of what you find or what you write and when your inspiration fades, let it go.

For the next week take note of the things that happen around you.  For instance, you might hear your main character’s name while you are out shopping and it leads you to think about a specific storyline for your book.  Or you might hear a song that would be perfect for your film you want to create.  Make note of all those seemingly simple, yet incredibly inspiring moments.  Allow them to feed off of the other and follow your inspiration to the next thing.

Visualize.  Be inspired.  Take small steps. Read the signs. Be Inspired. Repeat.

Try it and see where your path leads you.  I would love the opportunity to share your story with other readers so if you are up for the challenge, try it out and email me with your results.

This is going to be fun!

Lessons Learned In: Unplugging & Balance

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Well friends, the weekend is coming to an end and as I end this (partial) unplugged weekend, I learned some very valuable lessons that I want to share with you.

Lesson: Unplugging from technology may be difficult, but it is well worth the time and effort for the amount of peace and serenity it provides.

I have to say that when I set the intention to spend the weekend “unplugged” I hadn’t put much thought behind it.  I knew I needed some time away from the constant feed of emails, constant Facebook feeds, and the endless supply of information simply because I spend so much time through the week connected for my day job, my business, and my side gigs, I often am left feeling depleted and frazzled.  I thought it would be easy to leave the phone behind and not scramble to check my emails every time I had a new notification.  I was wrong.  It was much more difficult than I thought.  Though on Friday, just after making my declaration in my last post, I took a book outside and sat in the mild South Carolina weather and read for about 20 minutes and I couldn’t help but feel free.  I felt the tension ease in my shoulders and a growing sense of peace fall over me as I collapsed into the nothingness that became my Friday evening.

As the weekend wore on, I had an on/off relationship with peace.  While the frazzled feeling never returned, I checked my email a few times as well as my Facebook page, though not nearly as often as I would have.  I was making progress.  Today, was by far the best since I was able to disconnect almost completely and only picked up the computer now to write this post.  What I found about this semi-unplugged time was that it is far more a habit than I realized and it is something I could stand to give up every once in a while.  In fact, I intend to be more mindful of my email/Facebook checking even throughout the week as it can end up being a drain of not only my energy, but also my time.

Another thing I realized about this time is that I was far less focused on measurements of various things such as website statistics and Facebook likes.  Things that when you think about it are nothing but numbers.  It can be far too easy to fall into the trap of thinking that certain numbers (or lack there of) mean one’s success or failure.  Taking time away from those measurements has definitely allowed me to relax about business related things as well.  All-in-all, this intention taught me that it is not only healthy, but necessary to take time away from things every once in a while to allow you to reconnect with nature, family, and friends.  It’s nice to let go of our online lives for a bit so we don’t miss what life is all about.

Lesson:  Work/life balance is even more important when you own your own business.

Since I have been juggling many responsibilities for the past few months, I have begun to feel a drain on my energy and my capacity to focus on certain things.  Not only have I placed more focus on my business and put more effort into ways to market myself and get new clients, but I have also increased my freelance writing work as well.  In the process of all this work I began to lose my sense of ease and flow.  I was so focused on doing the next thing and figuring out how to move forward that I forgot to just relax, breathe, and flow with life.  Sounds kinda airy-fairy, I know but I realized even in the early stages of my business how crucial it is for me to maintain a good work/life balance.

So, as I embraced the idea of being “unplugged” this weekend, I was eager to get out and do something just for fun with no thought to what I “should” be doing.  In fact, I didn’t do any work all weekend long which is a first for me at least recently.  I am teaching myself to get into the practice of not only taking time away from technology every now and then, but also to do things for fun.  Life is meant to be enjoyed right?

How was your weekend?  Did you unplug and enjoy time with friends and family?

Happy Friday Friends!

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It’s been a bit of a busy, focused, sometimes frazzled week for me and I am so happy it’s Friday.

I am going to spend some time this weekend unplugging from technology and plugging into family, nature, and good ‘ole fashioned fun.  I hope you all do the same!

 

Live a little this weekend and do something simply because you ENJOY it.
Live a little this weekend and do something simply because you ENJOY it.

I will be back at it Monday full of ideas, inspiration, and coaching goodness to share with you.  Until then have a lovely weekend and thanks for reading!