Lamisha Serf-Walls

Lessons In Layers

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I have had an epiphany this past week and it is one that I believe I have begun to develop over the years, but for some reason this it is hitting me now.  Maybe it is because I have been doing a lot of internal work, thinking, ruminating, and wondering about life and my journey in this life.

I just realized lessons aren’t learned in distinct moments, but instead occur in layers over time.

It seems I have had many “aha” moments throughout my life only to find myself repeating the same “aha” only to a different degree or in a different situation.  A friend of mine posted something a few months back about learning and re-learning lessons and I told her I thought of learning in the form of college courses.  Instead of learning Patience (period), we learn Patience 101 and Patience 202 etc.  It seems that there are various situations that we can learn the same lesson and yet it still feels new.  And since I tend to have a lot of “aha” moments, I would like to think I am learning them on another level as opposed to believing I am just too stubborn to learn.

As I have come to this Lessons In Layers theory, I began thinking of the lessons that I feel I have learned at least on the surface level.  For instance, thoughts become things, positive thoughts=positive experiences, patience, letting go, allowing life to flow, etc.  I truly believe those are things I have learned, or at least understand on some level and yet I find myself in situations where I realize them in entirely new ways.  It can be both exciting and frustrating depending on how you view it (yet another layer) and yet I feel the same way about personal growth.

At one point in my life (more recent than I care to admit), I thought growing and evolving personally and spiritually was not only a journey, but one that actually had an end (before death of course).  I thought I could hurry up and learn these lessons in order to get to a life of unfettered bliss.  Some part of myself thought that my happiness would begin once all my dreams came true and I would finally be able to live happily ever after.  And being the go-getter that I am, I found myself doing all I could to get there, only to find I was losing this beautiful journey by being caught up in a non-existent destination.  If it wasn’t for a very dear, very wise friend of mine telling me (more than once) that life is about the journey and growth is happening all the time, I would likely still be pushing my way to the end..wherever that may be.

So where am I today?  I am not at the end at all and I am ok with that, for the most part.  I have accepted the fact that I am growing everyday and learning lessons in various layers, in various situations and times.  I am learning to flow with life and sometimes I need a gentle reminder while other times I need a good bonk on the head to revive this important lesson.  The most important part of where I am right now in life is my journey.  I am coming to a place of presence in both mind, body, and spirit to how magnificent life is no matter what is going on.  And while this is a lesson that will come and go, I am ok with taking it slow sometimes.  Sometimes we just need to absorb our experiences with our entire being before we take another step and give thanks for the journey.  I am learning that the journey is the best part…

Gratitude: Accepting Mistakes

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I am finding my weekly gratitude practice changing and not in the way that I like.  As each week winds down I am finding it more difficult to remember specific moments during the week for which I am grateful, so I have decided to implement a daily gratitude practice written in a journal each day.  This will allow me to get into the flow of gratitude again and will help my weekly post here as well.

For this week as strange as it sounds I am grateful for accepting my mistakes.

As much as I would love to say (and feel) that I am perfect, of course I am not.  I make mistakes, but for some reason those mistakes affect me in a way that can be at times embarrassing and makes me really uncomfortable.  Of course no one likes to make mistakes, but that is usually where lessons are learned right?  Well I suppose I don’t prefer this method of learning lessons, I’d rather study the book of life, only there isn’t one.  So mistakes will happen and I will make many an I will learn from them (hopefully), though it isn’t always easy to accept.

Just a few moments ago, I realized I had made a mistake…several actually.  I was doing a task for my midnight hustle gig and it came to my attention that the link I had set up and sent to several people was incorrect.  This was the first time I had completed this task and I was a little anxious about doing it for fear of making a mistake, and sure enough I did.  Maybe it was my anxiety about making a mistake that caused it, or maybe my intuition was telling me to triple check everything.  Either way, the mistake was made.  Is it a world shattering, life altering, ginormous mistake? No, but sometimes it can feel that way.

So what have I learned???

I have learned to double and triple check my work.  I have learned to fix my mistakes as soon as I realize them and to accept it as a part of life.  Making mistakes doesn’t make me incompetent, irresponsible, or incapable of accomplishing my tasks.  What it does mean is that I am human and I am learning.

Mistakes are going to happen and when they do, I will look to them for the lessons they are teaching me instead of focusing on the how bad it feels at the time.  I am only human and what a blessing that is, mistakes included!

 

Gratitude: Health & Meditation

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As another busy week comes to a close I am reminded of the many wonderful things to be grateful for. But the two things in particular I am grateful for this week are health and meditation.

I have noticed over the last few weeks many more posts on Facebook of friends describing various health concerns and issues they are going through. I have seen everything from blood clots and seizures to a case of meningitis in a dear friends baby girl that was just born. In the moments I have read these messages I am reminded that this cold I have been fighting all week is nothing more than a mere annoyance and that it could be worse. I also take a moment to send healing thoughts and say a prayer for those in need at the moment. For my current health and the health of my family, I am so grateful.

I am also grateful for my moments of meditation each day. I am finding that these moments of quiet help me to ground myself and mentally prepare for the day ahead. I am calmer and generally more centered and the result is a happier day. I am anxious to see how this continued practice will effect my life.

May you all have a lovely weekend and find many things to be grateful for.

Dreams Of Past and Present

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I spent much of today in reflection.  I reflected on what this day means to us because of one brave, amazing man and his fight for freedom so many years ago.  What it means today as we welcome in the second term for a President that has a vision much like that of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., a vision of equality, love, cooperation, and freedom for all.  I soon realized that the vision these two men shared is (as Dr. King so eloquently stated in his famous speech) a dream.  A dream of freedom that is unfolding before our very eyes and I am humbled, inspired, and proud to live during a time in history where dreams for our collective good are getting closer to being our reality and I am reminded that no dream is too big or too small to accomplish.

We each have our own personal dreams that we wish to fulfill in our lifetime and yet these men have dreams that reach far beyond the individual.  They have dreams that span the entire country and effect us as a whole to make this great land a better place.  One that is more peaceful, equal, and fair.  One that brings us together in unity and blurs the lines that divide us and I am grateful.  Grateful beyond words for the courage, vision, and fortitude to keep going when things get tough and never letting go of that dream.  We can all learn something from these amazing leaders about dreaming…no matter what your dream is, never let it go.  Keep fighting, striving, believing, and moving toward your vision step-by-step, because the worst thing you can do is give up on something that means so much.  What if Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had given up?  Where would we be today?

Gratitude: Compassion & Inspiration

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There are very distinct moments in my life when inspiration hits. Sometimes it is through books, a movie, or simply a statement someone makes that reaffirms my belief that there truly is good in the world. Those moments of inspiration and shared compassion warm my heart and I am grateful for those moments more and more each time I experience them.

I just finished watching the movie Big Miracle. A movie based on a real life whale rescue in Alaska many years ago. A film about hope, faith, and believing in the impossible. A film about compassion and cooperation. I love movies like these, especially when they are based on real events. They remind me that there is good in the world and even the most impossible situation and dream is possible when you believe. And that is what my blog is all about. Believing in your dream until it becomes your reality.

Tonight as I lay my head on my pillow, I am grateful for the compassion I notice around me daily and inspiration reminds me to believe in the impossible. Because the truth is everything is impossible until you try.

May you find a bit of compassion and hope in your weekend, and if you are up for a feel good, inspiring film, check out Big Miracle, it is well worth it.