Lamisha Serf-Walls

Milking The (Happy) Moments

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I have been spending a lot of time in the last few weeks thinking about happiness and the components that make for a happy life.  I have also thought about the unique experiences we all have of what “happiness” means for us.  For some it may be a day full of productive activities while others view it as time spent with family, friends and what I have found is that happiness truly depends on one person alone and that is YOU.

We live in a society that often places emphasis on particular possessions, qualities, and other various things with the assumption that if only we had them we would finally be happy.  The flaw in this thought is that no matter what you have or how much money you have, happiness is not something you reach and maintain forever more.  The truth is that life happens and we have ups and downs.  We have good times and not so good times that are less than what we believe to be as “happy” and we find ourselves blaming circumstances or people for our change in how happy we are.  I am realizing that my happiness depends on me and it is something that not only takes practice, but it requires a certain amount of presence in order to maintain it.

For much of my life I wanted a life that would bring me love, a career with a purpose, and family and I thought once I had those things I would live “happily ever after”.  How many of us have wanted a life similar to that right? Some look for their knight on a white horse, while others are searching for a pile of money to take all their worries away.

I am guilty of that way of thinking too.  I have spent a good portion of my life looking toward a future event thinking that if only that happened then I would be happy only to find it didn’t exactly work out that way.  I am learning each and every day to not only live in the moment, but to milk the happy moments as much as possible.

Take this weekend for instance.  I had quite possibly one of the best weekends in a very long time.  We celebrated our son’s 3rd birthday with his friends at daycare, had a fun party for him, and enjoyed Easter festivities as a family.  My son laughed, smiled, and played all weekend while intermittently yelling “Birthday!” and singing “Happy Birthday” to himself.  The weather was perfect and I couldn’t have been more grateful.  I realized that while it was a special weekend for us, there was a lesson to be learned.

During one of the slower moments this weekend, I took our dogs out for a little walk and found myself looking at the world from a different view.  The clouds were gorgeous, the trees were swaying in the perfect breeze, and the sun was warm on my face.  I was at peace.  Complete and total peace.  For this moment, I didn’t have a care in the world.  My list of never ending “to do’s” didn’t exist and worries about work, finances, or whatever else we worry about on a day to day basis disappeared.  All I had in that moment was a full heart and an open and quiet mind.  I was living a moment of gratitude.  I gave a quiet thank you to the Universe for the moment, my son, and the beautiful weather we were having.  I admired my surroundings and took a deep breath and as I was moving back toward our house it hit me.  Every time we are feeling happy, joyful, grateful, loving, etc. we should take a moment to be fully in that moment.  Feel it with our entire being and milk it for what it’s worth.

I could have rushed to take the dogs for a walk without being aware of my beautiful surroundings.  I could have simply focused on what was next on our agenda in order to get it done, but then I would have not only missed this epiphany, but also an incredible connection to my happiness.  If I had skimmed over the moment as we sometimes do, I would have likely been so caught up in the activities we had scheduled that I would have missed a wonderful opportunity to give thanks, be grateful, and fully in tune with the moment.

This weekend changed my thoughts on happiness.  Not only do I truly understand the importance of being responsible for our own happiness, but I also value the importance of milking the happy moments for what they are.  For if we are constantly rushing from one moment to the next without truly experiencing what this moment has to offer us, we are going to allow our lives (happiness and all) to slip through our fingers.  And let’s face it, life is about living, loving, and learning on our journey, it is not a race to see who can make it to the end first.

If you don’t do so regularly, I challenge you to be more mindful of your happy moments this week and sit with those feelings for a while.  Milk your happy moments for all they are worth.

Good Friday Gratitude

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I am playing a bit of catch-up and errand running on this Good Friday, but I wanted to make sure I made time for my gratitude post this week.

There is so much to be grateful for and as I make the final preparations for my son’s 3rd birthday party, I am so very grateful for the opportunity to be his mother.  This week I was really reminded in so many ways to be in the moment and enjoy ever millisecond with my son.  Time tends to move so quickly and in the blink of an eye your kids are all grown up and you wonder where all the time went.  So, I am becoming very mindful of the moments we share and letting whatever day-to-day worries fall by the wayside.

Spring is upon us and the sun is shining and I am looking forward to a marvelous weekend.  Birthday party, Easter celebration, and time spent with family is exactly what I need this weekend and everything else can wait until Monday.

I hope you enjoy your weekend and recognize and truly feel those precious moments you have with friends, family, and with yourself.  Take a deep breath and be grateful for the wonderful things that are in your present experience because no matter what worry, challenge, or difficulty you may have going on, there is always something to celebrate.

Playing Catch Up: A Little Update

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I know it has been several days since my last post and I thought I would provide a bit of an update before I get back to “real” posts (whatever that means).  Last week I had a lot of great surprises and some realizations that I wanted to put together into one post to share and then life happened, so consider this your update.

I wanted to mention my gratitude for a few realizations last week because I wanted to remember the positive aspects of last week especially since this week has been a bit of a whirlwind.  With that said the two things I was really and truly grateful for last week were surprises and riches.

Last week I received a variety of surprises and while many times those can be thought of as dreaded inconveniences, there are also those delightful surprises that come out of the blue and those are the kind I am referring to.  Not only did I receive notification of another greeting card being accepted for review, but my partner received a promotion she was looking forward to and my work schedule changed.  The change was something I certainly wasn’t expecting, but appreciate because it provides more time and connection with my family throughout the week.

The other thing I was grateful for was the idea of riches.  I am not talking riches in the form of money, but in the many other forms it can take.  When I began thinking of all of the wonderful aspects of my life that are not tangible and monetary, I realized I have so much to be grateful for on a daily basis and it has nothing to do with the amount of money in the bank.  Friends, family, love, creativity, spirituality, and gratitude are all part of my riches that I am so grateful for in my day-to-day life.  And while I may often forget it, I wanted to bring my attention to it for the moment and for future moments when I am feeling a little down and need a reminder.

So those were my gratitude moments from last week.  Now for an update on the children’s book start date…

Unfortunately the day I set to begin writing my children’s book (yesterday) did not go as planned.  We have had a few days of chaos with a sick little one at home and that has changed plans, schedules, and routines a bit causing us to move things around to make room for what is important in the moment.  (Wasn’t I just grateful for surprises??)  So, I have not yet begun my children’s book since we have been playing catch up with work, house stuff, and life in general, but I will be getting back to it.  More on that later.

And for my last update, I am proud to say in the midst of chaos, surprises, and the amazing riches I have in my life I have maintained my meditation practice.  Not only have I been able to maintain my practice, but on some days I have even been able to do two 15 minute meditation sessions per day.  One in the morning and one in the evening which has been wonderful for my patience and sanity.

So there you have it, a summary post catching you up on some of the latest and greatest in my world.  I promise to have more “real” posts for you in the coming days, but until then I am off to play catch-up on some tasks for work and home.

Have a wonderful day!

Gratitude: Transformation & Positivity

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This week I was struck by how much I am changing in various ways.  I am growing, transforming, and moving into a new chapter in my life bit by bit and I must say in all the years I thought change was scary, I am finding it to be such a good thing.  Sure it isn’t always easy, and I have come to face some parts of myself that I don’t particularly like, but I am grateful for those parts too.  I am happy for the purpose they served in my life and I am grateful for the courage to move into a new me.  The truth is I have always been transforming in one form or another.  I think we all are.  But there is something about conscious transformation that feels different.  A good different.  A proud different.  And so I am grateful this week for transformation.

I am also grateful for the power of positivity.  Not just the arbitrary thought that positive is better than negative, but the power it has in my life (and yours too if you practice it).  I have consciously made an effort to let go of my resistance to life and believe that all will be fine.  Things will work out and be happy where I am right here, right now.  I have made lists of things that make me smile and things about my partner I adore just so I can build on top of my good vibes.  All-in-all it has allowed me to see and experience a different aspect of life.  The good that is in life no matter what is going on in ours.  I am finding that even when things feel less than hopeful or down right disastrous, a little bit of positivity goes a long way.

So my dear readers, I wish you well as you head into the weekend.  May you embrace whatever changes are lurking around the corner and find the positive in every single, delicious moment of this life.  It is all so good, even when it’s not.

Gratitude: Focus

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I have spent several days away from my blog and though it certainly hasn’t been on purpose, I am finding myself changing and growing (again).  Of course change and growth are two things that don’t really stop and are for the most part good things, but as far as my blog is concerned, they sometime cause me to take some time to look inward to process everything.  With that said, I didn’t want to miss my one gratitude post a week because it really is a good reminder for me to practice gratitude on a daily basis.

This week I am grateful for focus.  While my focus has been a bit scattered at best lately, I am finding myself constantly bringing my thoughts back to the present moment.  Whatever task I am completing at the moment works out for the better if I can offer my undivided attention and focus to it as opposed to being split between various tasks.  Splitting my attention is rarely the most effective use of my time, though it is something that has become far more of a habit than I care to admit.

I am also grateful for bringing my focus closer to home, meaning focusing on the things that affect my family and I personally rather than get involved in others business.  Again this is something I am constantly reminding myself to do because for far too long I have been playing the role of rescuer to people, situations, and circumstances that may not really need or want my help.  So, I am taking my focus back a little bit and focusing on myself and my family.  I am beginning to think more about my dreams and how I can create the space, time, and energy for those things I want to bring to fruition.  I am also formulating a loose plan of action and seeing where the tide takes me, because while focus is a good thing, it can often be limiting as well.  So, here’s to having a soft focus on my little world and much gratitude in my heart for all that unfolds.

What are you grateful for today?