Lamisha Serf-Walls

Lessons Learned: Be Brave, Tiny Steps, & Fun Is Important

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photo from: enterprisenation.com

Friday posts are generally my Gratitude posts and while I will maintain my gratitude practice outside of the blog, I wanted to begin a new series titled: Lessons Learned.

With each new step in my business and life changes overall, I feel like I am continually evolving and growing.  And while some weeks feel more like growing pains, my hope is to reflect on the lessons I have learned each week so I am more aware of what I am learning in the moment.  I hope you will join me in reflecting on your week as I am sure we all are learning new lessons about life, love, and the pursuit of our dreams.

This week has included a plethora of opportunities for me to engage my bravery skills to do some things that sort of scared me.  My intuition was telling me I needed to send two emails in order to not only grow as a person, but also to get more comfortable with various aspects of the business world.  I listened to my inner guidance and hit send and even before I received any correspondence back, I knew I had done the right thing regardless of the outcome.  I also had to make a big decision regarding my business logo.  I had so many options to choose from and after momentarily feeling like I was going to select the “wrong” one, I listened to my own advice (imagine that) and followed my gut.  I can’t wait to share it with you when it is complete because it is gonna be gorgeous!!

Lesson: Follow your intuition and be brave in spite of your fear.  You will be glad you did.

I have also been working on brainstorming some ideas for other services and products I want to create and offer to my clients.  I found my inspiration well a bit dry, however I realized I hadn’t really taken the time to sit down and think about it.  Until last night.  In a matter of 20 minutes by simply reviewing old notes, ideas, and doing a little research I had a light bulb moment!  Once the idea hit, I was off and writing and am even more inspired now about how I can implement this new idea.  Again I can’t wait to get this project under way and share it with you!

Lesson: You don’t need to make quantum leaps to achieve your dreams.   Tiny steps make a huge difference.

My last lesson is one I just learned today.  As the summer has flown by, I found myself yearning for just a little getaway.  Not a huge vacation or anything too extravagant, but something easy to end the summer.  After thoughts like “I should really wait,” or “We really shouldn’t spend the money,” etc. I decided I wanted to find a way to have an affordable end of the summer trip and I am proud to say it is in the works.

Lesson: Business is important, but fun is too.  The work will be there when you get back so when you find yourself questioning whether you should or shouldn’t remember fun is important. 

From Faith To Fear And Back Again

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I know I typically begin the week with either my Inspiration Round-up or Dreamer Highlight, but in light of keeping it real with you lovely readers, I decided to start the week this post instead.  It is something I have been dealing with in the past few weeks and I am sure many of you have (or will) go through it as well.

I spent most of June and July imagining, envisioning, and creating my coaching framework as well as figuring out how I would present the information to potential clients.  The process was very easy-going and high-flying as everything was so exciting.  I didn’t feel a sense of urgency to get things completed by a certain date because I was simply following my inspiration to the very next step.  I had this intuitive knowing that August 1st would be when I open practice up to take new clients.  I had an idea that once I did, clients would come to me and would immediately want to get started.  I even went so far as to set a goal for how many new clients I wanted to book by the end of the month.

We are halfway through the month and I am not anywhere near my goal.  Fear

Bummer.

Actually it hit me much harder than just a “bummer” moment.  In fact, I have found myself deep in the throes of doubtful thinking, fear, and disbelief. My self-talk was running rampant as I condescendingly asked myself “How could you actually believe it would take off so easily?”

This was an admittedly ugly place to be for sure.

As I began moving through the muck of self-doubt, I realized I had allowed fear to take the place of the light, easy-going faith I had as I created my coaching model seemingly effortlessly.  Through that process I kept reassuring myself (read my Ego) that I didn’t have to have it mapped out as to how, when, and who would want to work with me.  I just knew that as long as I do what I love and stay true to myself the people who are meant to work with me will.

While I might have doubted how quickly I would book clients, I never once questioned that life coaching is what I am meant to do.

This weekend I did some thinking about my client goal for this month and couldn’t help but wonder if I had made a mistake by having a number I wanted to hit for the month.  Instead of focusing on writing blog posts, working with my current awesome clients, and creating resources for my readers, I found myself keeping score of how many clients I had (or didn’t have).  And while we are taught in the traditional/logical business world to set goals, map out a plan, and execute, I am beginning to see that might not be the best tactic for me.  My philosophy does center around following my inspiration and the general goal setting is not all that inspirational for me.

So, I am happy to say I have moved through the muck and am moving back into trusting this process.  I honestly believe and know that if you do what you love, the rest will fall into place, so that is exactly what I plan on doing.

In the past two weeks I have moved from a place of faith in the process to fear and back again and I must say it feels so much better.

Do I think I will always be high-flying and trust the process?  Probably not, but I now know it is not where I have to stay.  I can allow my Ego to have her say before I kindly tell her to relax and trust the process.  And what is even better than that?  I can use my personal experience to help my clients who may be struggling with the same thing.

Where do you have doubts in your life?  I am interested to know how you deal with your own doubts, please feel free to share below!

 

Guidance, Info, and Resources Oh My!

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guidanceAs you continue (or begin as it may be) your path to living the life you once dreamt, you may find yourself in need of guidance, information, and resources to help you along the way.  You may need to know more about setting up a blog, html coding, the legalities of business, how to write a book proposal, or any number of things.  The amount of what you don’t know may feel overwhelming, but never fear because there are many people in the world who have been where you are, are willing to share what they know, and even provide it to you for FREE!!

Asking yourself how to get started or continue your path of things you don’t know?

Here are a few tips to get you started:

  • Reach out to your network. You never know how far your network can reach until you ask.  Tell your friends, family, and co-workers what you are working on.  Ask them if they know of anyone that does _______.  Chances are you will find someone who knows someone who knows about what you are working on.  You have the ability to get some wonderful information simply by reaching out to the people you interact with everyday.
  • Find people doing what you want to do and see if you can pick their brain for information.  When I began looking for information about life coaching, I realized my best friend knew not one, but two coaches that were willing to chat with me about what I wanted to do.  I also “cold-called” a coach in the area that I was moving to, to see if she was willing to give me some information about how she got started.  Turns out, there are more people out there willing to help you…all you have to do is ask!
  • Don’t just ask one person.  This has been paramount for me.  The first life coach I contacted for information actually put a little damper on my joy as she expressed her frustration with her work.  While I was glad she was sharing both the up and the down sides to life coaching, I felt she was more discouraging than anything, but I didn’t let that stop me.  I spoke to another coach (who later became a good friend and client), who has been so helpful through the process. If you find a person that you don’t jive with, no worries, find someone else and just ask!
  • The Internet is full of great info.  There is a ton of information available online and while sometimes it can be a little overwhelming, if you follow your gut you will find exactly what you are looking for. You would be surprised how many bloggers, entrepreneurs, coaches, etc. are willing to offer resources on their websites for free.  You can find a ton of great stuff out there including worksheets, meditations, workbooks, guides, and good ‘ole helpful advice without spending a dime!
  • Hire a coach. You knew I was going to add this one right?  While life coaches don’t know everything, I have found that my clients find the right information, people, and resources they need as we move along in our work together with ease.  It seems that the more we talk about their bigger vision, the easier it becomes to manifest the very next step to take and that is the magic of following your inspiration to create the life of your dreams.  (And I’m not just saying to hire a coach because I am a coach, I am saying to think about it because it really is an amazing and fun journey to go from not knowing to knowing exactly what you are meant to do.

I am currently working on my own resources and programming to better serve my clients and could use your help.  I have put together a short survey and would love it if you would take a few minutes to complete it (anonymously of course).  The information you share will help me create the best resources to you in the coming months.  Thank you in advance for your time!

Click here to take survey

The Comparison Pitfall

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Comparison

It seems that comparisons have become commonplace in our society and have somehow become the ruler by which all other things are measured.  For instance, if you are a new actress or author, the media makes every attempt to put you in a box with others that are like you.  It makes sense that we have gotten used to this metric and have since taken to measuring our own successes and experiences by those of others in a similar situation, however I can’t help but feel like this has become a huge detriment to our ability to stand out and find success in our uniqueness.

The truth is we all have our own gifts we bring to the world and while some say everything has already been done, we bring our own flavor and experiences to everything we do.  No two writers, actors, business owners, coaches, or athletes are the same, so why do we constantly compare ourselves to others in order to define our greatness?  When did it become so important for us to keep up with the Joneses in our attributes, successes, and bank accounts?

Beginning

I’m not sure when this became commonplace, because to be honest it has been a common theme in my life.  Everything from my dance background in high school to my current business plans have been surrounded by the idea that I had to live up to someone else’s measure of success or else I would be deemed a failure.  I know I am not alone in this and yet I know better.

I know that what I do in my business, what I offer by way of my own coaching, and my writing are all extensions of my own creative mind.  A mind that is like none other and a mind that brings a unique essence and life experience with it.  If I know better intellectually, why do I/we continually compare our gifts and talents to those of others?

The answer?  Because that is what we have been taught by society, by our teachers, and many of us by our parents because they were taught the same thing.

The great thing about learning something is that with a little re-framing and re-learning we can change those habits into something different.  We can move away from thinking that in order to find our worth or define our greatness that we must measure up to the number of published articles, the thousands of dollars in sales, or the number of clients someone else has.

Your worth and greatness are only defined by your own unique gifts.  And I am here to tell you that no matter how “professional” or “successful” someone else appears, they weren’t always that way AND they don’t have your unique life experience and flavor you bring to your craft.  That is yours alone.

So the next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone and feeling less than the next guy, remember you are worthy of living the life of your dreams and only YOU can bring your magnificent gifts to this world.  Never forget that!

Gratitude: Surrendering & Simple Things

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When I wrote my last post, I was convinced my “issues” were behind me and I was ready to move forward.  What I didn’t know was there was a lesson looming that I had to learn before I could truly move forward.  The lesson?  Sometimes we need to surrender to the power of the Universe.  That’s it.

I took some measures into my own hands yesterday to be proactive in checking on my financial mishap to ensure it wouldn’t continue to haunt me.  In the process, I ended up with more confusion and frustration than I had in the prior two weeks.  After speaking with several people who I thought would be able to assist me, I was told “there is nothing you can do”.  Excuse me what?  This situation that I want so desperately to “fix” is out of my hands?  I don’t understand.

After fighting with that thought for an hour or so, I gave in.  I accepted the fact that this particular situation had to play out however the Universe saw fit.  I had to surrender in order for it to resolve itself.  And while I wanted to fix it, I couldn’t.  So, I opened my arms, said a little prayer giving the situation and outcome over to the Universe with faith that all would be well in the end.  At that point something amazing happened.  I didn’t worry or fret about it as much and I simply moved through my day changing my thoughts to whatever I was currently working on.  I couldn’t worry about it anymore, for it was now out of my hands.

This morning I woke up refreshed from a good night’s sleep and grateful for the free feeling I had upon waking.  I could feel a freshness in the air and a new energy for my day that made me smile.  I didn’t even think about the financial situation for I was able to see past it and into the many blessings I had around me at the moment.  My son, my partner, and our lives together.  I had finally let go.

When I checked on the issue this morning, it had finally been resolved and not only that, I was able to get all of the fees associated with this issue reversed as well.  In that moment I opened my heart and gave a heartfelt prayer of thanks to the universe for taking care of the situation as tears of joy flowed.  I learned my lesson and am so grateful for knowing that all things work out no matter how bad they seem if and when you surrender.

In the midst of my surrendering, I became very aware of the many simple things that I often overlook.  For instance, the amazing blue sky that greeted my son and I on the way to his t-ball game last night or the white fluffy clouds that caught our attention on the way home.  I was reminded of the simple yet abundant pleasures we have all around us.  I felt the soft breeze coming in my office window this morning and appreciated the warmth of the sun on my face as I took a moment to truly be in my body.  These are moments we take for granted far too often when we rush around worrying about a time that has yet to arrive.

With a long weekend ahead of us, I hope you find many simple things to be grateful for and that you slow down long enough to enjoy them.

Have a wonderful weekend and as always thank you for reading!