Lamisha Serf-Walls

Authenticity and Intuition

by

Everyone who sets out on a new path into a future that is unknown experiences bouts of fear, insecurity, excitement, and a variety of other feelings that come with the territory.  It’s normal.  It’s expected and it’s sometimes necessary to learn extremely important lessons.  Do you know how I know this?  Because I have had to learn some pretty big lessons in authenticity and intuition.

You see, when you start something new you might look around to others for their help and expertise in various decisions and choices you are making.  Being a newbie in whatever field you are in, it is often suggested to have a mentor to provide guidance and insight into what you are doing.  It’s also great to have a second eye on new projects or things that you are working on in order to help you grow your skill set.  It doesn’t matter what your dream might be, but if it’s new, there will likely be some growing pains along the way.

But, what happens when you begin outsourcing decisions and opinions to a degree that you lose faith in your own ability to choose what is right and wrong for you?  What happens when you lose the little bit of confidence you had to begin with?

What happens is you lose the connection with your intuition and your authentic self, which can be detrimental to dream and your wavering confidence.

But wait a minute Lamisha, didn’t you say that it’s okay to ask for help and assistance when we are reaching for our dreams and that we don’t have to do it alone???

Yes I did say that and I still stand by that statement, BUT it is also important to stay true to who you are and to stay connected to your intuition.  Advice, insight, and assistance are all fine and good, but when it doesn’t feel right and goes against who you are, take note.  Whatever the suggestion is might not be what is right for you in that moment.

I don’t expect my clients (or myself for that matter) to know everything there is to know in order to accomplish their dreams, but I encourage them to listen to their intuition and use it as guidance for the choices they make.  Does that mean that if a suggestion is scary they don’t do it?

Not necessarily.  It can take some work to learn to differentiate between fear and intuition, but once you figure it out, you can begin feeling your way to the future life of your dreams.

It also doesn’t mean you won’t ever have to experience challenging lessons along the way.  Sometimes our intuition will lead us to exactly what we need to learn and experience, so take it as a gift and a lesson.

I guess what I am saying is to trust yourself.  Believe in your dream and trust that the path will light up for you and the steps, advice, inspiration, and action steps on your path will come when they are meant to.  If it just doesn’t feel right and you feel like you are creating someone else’s idea of your dream, then that’s not for you.  Take a step back and remember what your dream is and set the intention on being open to the steps that will keep your dream authentic for you. We all have experienced those “gut feelings” now and again, so tap into your intuition and I assure you it won’t lead you astray.

It’s All Working Out…

by

My Dear Dreamers,

I wanted to take this moment to let you know that you are on your way to the most amazing future you could ever imagine.  It may not be obvious right now, but believe me when I say all the pieces are fitting together perfectly and your journey is unfolding in the best way possible.

Can you feel that spark of inspiration?  It will be undeniable and you will be whisked away in a flurry of inspired action as you move along to the very next step of your dream.  When you find yourself falling into the dungeon of doubt, remember the last surge of inspiration you had.  Do you remember how it felt to jump into action as if your soul was on fire?  Do you remember all the amazing ideas that came to you at that time?  Do you remember how sure of yourself you were and how confident you were in creating the life of your dreams? No one could tell you otherwise.

Remember that time.  Feel it.  Embrace it and allow it to take you into other moments just like it where you know without a shadow of a doubt that you will see your dream meet reality and far sooner than you believe.

Trust that while you may not have all the pieces right now that they will come in exactly the time you need them.  The contacts you need, the time, the money, the lessons, all of it will appear at exactly the right moment.  Just know that to be true and enjoy each and every step of the process.

Your dream life is so much more that the manifested reality you are creating now.  It is the goodness, the positive experiences, the lessons, the joy, and the amazing journey you experience on your way to your dream life.  That is what it’s all about because just as soon as your dream is complete, another one takes it’s place and you will once again meander your way through a path of awesome unknowns to a place of incredible insight.

So what is your inspiration telling you now?  What do you just have to do right this minute?  Whatever it is, don’t waste anymore time reading this post, go do it!

🙂

The Real Deal: Part 2

by

A few months ago I shared a post titled The Real Deal.  It was my confession to you (and myself) that I am not perfect and I am in fact human.  (Contrary to how I may act sometimes. 🙂  )

Well consider this part two of that post.large__4182902199

Over the last two days I have been struggling with a lot of questions, doubts, concerns, and overall worry about the future.  A few comments from a friend that were meant to be helpful actually uncovered some deep insecurities and fear within myself that I thought I was managing by putting on a happy face and staying positive.

You see, when I started this life coaching business venture, I had one plan in mind.  I was going to build it from the bottom little-by-little and I fully believed that what I didn’t know about the business end of things I would figure out along the way.  When I got word that I would be losing my current job, I took it as a sign that I should dive more fully into my business and continue building it piece-by-piece and that things would rapidly take off.  For the first time in my life I wasn’t worried about the future.  I didn’t have to know how it was going to happen or what would come next and I certainly wasn’t worried about money.  (If you know me personally, you know that is a HUGE thing for me to say.)

I had faith and I was trusting the process.

Then I received some rather blunt, yet constructive comments about my business and all of my faith and trust flew out the window.  A million “I can’t…” thoughts flew into my mind accompanied by other dream crushing statements that seemed to multiply by the moment.  I was doubting myself, my business, and my future.  I was frustrated, stuck, and lost.  I didn’t know what action to take (if any) and I felt like a failure.

It sucked.  It was ugly.  But, it was necessary.

What I now know is that the insecurities and hidden fear that bubbled up were there all along.  I was simply trying to cover them up.  I didn’t want to admit that there were things I didn’t know and my emotional reaction to a friend and mentors constructive comments gave me the opportunity to face them head on.  I had the option to continue to wallow in self-doubt and worry or take a step back and re-evaluate things.

While there are many things that I have yet to learn, I know this:  I LOVE coaching and I’m good at what I do because of experiences like this.  I know where my clients are coming from when they feel lost, stuck, and unsure of what to do next.  I understand how it feels when things don’t go as planned.  But, I also know what it means to keep going and to keep your dream alive.

Aside from learning to deal with the fear and insecurities that came up in this situation, I have also learned the importance of standing in your power and trusting your intuition.  Just because someone shares their insights and thoughts with you does not mean you have to do anything with it, especially if it doesn’t resonate with you.  You get to choose whether to use the information or discard it.  It’s your choice.

Trust your dreams.  Trust the process, even when it doesn’t go the way you expected.  But most of all trust yourself!

Onward and upward!!!

photo credit: patricklanigan via photopin cc

Seeking Balance Amongst the Chaos

by

I have to admit that I am generally a person of extremes.  When it comes to my time commitments, I generally have found myself either super busy or super bored.  I don’t do it intentionally, but it happens more often than not and I find myself desperately seeking excitement or desperately seeking peace and I am almost never in a space where I feel balanced.

That is going to change very soon.

I currently have a full plate and while much of the fullness is the result of my own expectations and choices, I still have a lot going on.  In addition to finishing up my last 7 weeks of my current full-time job (eek!), I am also taking on a bit more freelance work, building my business layer-by-layer, coaching a few clients, and tending to my family.  Did I mention I am also looking for other work on and off and trying to figure out where I will end up come January 2014?  Needless to say my schedule is full.

I am proud to say I haven’t reached a point of total overwhelm, but sometimes I feel like I am aimlessly juggling noodles which if you haven’t tried is not an easy task.

I know that many of you are going through similar challenges.  You are venturing into the land of your dreams while still handling your current responsibilities so it can get a little crazy.  The good news is it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.  Below I have come up with a few tips to help create more balance and to ease the chaos.  These are steps that I plan on implementing and I hope you find them helpful too!

  1. Brain dump- Write down every single thing you need to do.  You may choose to do this daily, weekly, or monthly but the key is to get every thing down on paper so you don’t have to remember it all.  You might want to divide the list into categories.  For instance, you might have Work, Business, Home, etc. and list all the tasks you need to complete and by when (if there is a deadline).
  2. Learn to say NO– Too often we find ourselves saying yes to every invitation and opportunity that comes up even when it is something we don’t really want to do. It’s ok to say no sometimes.  Heck it’s ok to say no a lot of the time if it isn’t in line with what you want for your life.  Before you go adding another item to your list, think about whether it will add value to your life and your vision.  If it is simply a time filler, say no and move onto something that you are inspired to do.
  3. Cut the fat- Go through the list you just created and figure out what you can get rid of.  Are there things that someone else can do for you?  For instance, if you have on your list to “fall clean” for the holidays, maybe you can hire someone to come in and do that for you.  Get creative and figure out what you can drop now and more importantly think of the things you can put in its place that are more enjoyable and more aligned with your vision.  If you can be writing two chapters for your upcoming novel in the time it takes to clean your house from top to bottom, by all means hire someone!
  4. Listen to your body- I have learned that when I am overwhelmed with the tasks I have to do I often feel tension and stress in the center of my chest.  When I start feeling that way I know I need to take a step back and relax.  Sometimes I go for a walk, meditate, or take a nap.  The key is to notice how your body responds to stress and not only listen, but respond to what you need in that moment.  I guarantee if you listen you will find you need to take a break.
  5. Ask yourself what do you WANT to do- This may seem counter-intuitive when you have a lot going on, but doing something that you truly want to do can give you enough energy to get through 2-3 more tasks on your list.  If you aren’t used to asking yourself what you want to do, set scheduled check-in times.  Stop what you are doing, be still, and feel for the answer.  Are you hungry?  Thirsty?  Tired? Antsy? What do you want to do?  You might be surprised at what you get.
  6. Have fun- This one is a big one.  Despite all the things we put on our plate even after we cut the fat, we need to make sure to make room for fun.  Do things that you want to do simply because you enjoy them.  Do you want to go to a museum or a concert?  Feel like going dancing?  Do it!  You might just find that following your inspiration to just enjoy yourself may lead you to the very next piece you need to keep moving forward.

I hope some of the tips above help you find balance as you move forward on your journey.  Do you have a practice that you do that wasn’t included?  Feel free to share in the comments section.  I would love to hear about how you find balance in your everyday life.

As for me, I am going to listen to my body and get some much-needed rest.

 

Have you been thinking about your intentions for the New Year and want some assistance getting clear about our dreams?  Let’s chat about how I can help you get a jump start on your vision for the future.  There is no time like the present to start.  Contact me to find how you can get started. 

Lessons Learned In: Unplugging & Balance

by

Well friends, the weekend is coming to an end and as I end this (partial) unplugged weekend, I learned some very valuable lessons that I want to share with you.

Lesson: Unplugging from technology may be difficult, but it is well worth the time and effort for the amount of peace and serenity it provides.

I have to say that when I set the intention to spend the weekend “unplugged” I hadn’t put much thought behind it.  I knew I needed some time away from the constant feed of emails, constant Facebook feeds, and the endless supply of information simply because I spend so much time through the week connected for my day job, my business, and my side gigs, I often am left feeling depleted and frazzled.  I thought it would be easy to leave the phone behind and not scramble to check my emails every time I had a new notification.  I was wrong.  It was much more difficult than I thought.  Though on Friday, just after making my declaration in my last post, I took a book outside and sat in the mild South Carolina weather and read for about 20 minutes and I couldn’t help but feel free.  I felt the tension ease in my shoulders and a growing sense of peace fall over me as I collapsed into the nothingness that became my Friday evening.

As the weekend wore on, I had an on/off relationship with peace.  While the frazzled feeling never returned, I checked my email a few times as well as my Facebook page, though not nearly as often as I would have.  I was making progress.  Today, was by far the best since I was able to disconnect almost completely and only picked up the computer now to write this post.  What I found about this semi-unplugged time was that it is far more a habit than I realized and it is something I could stand to give up every once in a while.  In fact, I intend to be more mindful of my email/Facebook checking even throughout the week as it can end up being a drain of not only my energy, but also my time.

Another thing I realized about this time is that I was far less focused on measurements of various things such as website statistics and Facebook likes.  Things that when you think about it are nothing but numbers.  It can be far too easy to fall into the trap of thinking that certain numbers (or lack there of) mean one’s success or failure.  Taking time away from those measurements has definitely allowed me to relax about business related things as well.  All-in-all, this intention taught me that it is not only healthy, but necessary to take time away from things every once in a while to allow you to reconnect with nature, family, and friends.  It’s nice to let go of our online lives for a bit so we don’t miss what life is all about.

Lesson:  Work/life balance is even more important when you own your own business.

Since I have been juggling many responsibilities for the past few months, I have begun to feel a drain on my energy and my capacity to focus on certain things.  Not only have I placed more focus on my business and put more effort into ways to market myself and get new clients, but I have also increased my freelance writing work as well.  In the process of all this work I began to lose my sense of ease and flow.  I was so focused on doing the next thing and figuring out how to move forward that I forgot to just relax, breathe, and flow with life.  Sounds kinda airy-fairy, I know but I realized even in the early stages of my business how crucial it is for me to maintain a good work/life balance.

So, as I embraced the idea of being “unplugged” this weekend, I was eager to get out and do something just for fun with no thought to what I “should” be doing.  In fact, I didn’t do any work all weekend long which is a first for me at least recently.  I am teaching myself to get into the practice of not only taking time away from technology every now and then, but also to do things for fun.  Life is meant to be enjoyed right?

How was your weekend?  Did you unplug and enjoy time with friends and family?