Lamisha Serf-Walls

What can you do now???

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It isn’t often that dreams happen overnight.  If it were that easy, everyone would have accomplished their dreams long ago.  The reality is that any goal, dream, or aspiration takes time, patience, planning, and a lot of hard work.  I have often felt stuck or frustrated because my dreams weren’t materializing as quickly as I would like and it seemed that even taking the first step was more difficult than I thought it would be.  So I often ask myself the question, “What do you do when you are waiting for the pieces to fall into place?”

What can you do NOW?

The first thing I did when I realized (and realized again) that life coaching was the path for me, was a lot of research.  I looked at websites for different life coaches to see what it was all about, even though I had a vague understanding of what the job entailed, I wanted to see how others were doing it.  So I scoured the internet for as many life coach as I could find.  This just happened to be right around the time we were planning on moving to SC, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to see if there were any life coaches in the area we were moving to and see if maybe they could use some help in their business.  I learned very quickly life coaching isn’t really that type of business.  I did, however find one woman who was willing to speak with me regarding her experience with her business and the training she went through before starting her business.  After speaking with her I thought I would feel inspired and motivated to keep moving forward, but what I felt was the exact opposite.  I realized the first person I spoke to was in it purely for the money, ironically enough it can be a tough business to be in for the money.

While I was slightly discouraged, the passion for helping people achieve their dreams didn’t stop.  So I kept talking about my dream with some of my friends and realized my best friend knew not one, but two life coaches.  She was able to connect me with one that was able to explain to me her process, training, and overall business and the conversation was wonderful.  I left the conversation feeling more empowered, more excited, and more motivated than I had been before.  I was on my way.

Many months passed with our move and settling into a new area and I began to feel stuck again.  Now I knew what I was meant to do, and I really just wanted to jump right in and do it.  I was mentally ready to begin my training courses, however I had no idea what programs would be best, what the cost would entail etc.  So the next logical step was to research the programs and find the best one for me.  It took me a few weeks to read through the different program options and weigh all of the pros and cons, but I finally found the program for me.  The next step would be to get the money together to begin the courses so I could keep moving forward, but one of my goals along this process is to limit any new debt and to ensure that when I begin my programming I have paid off as much as possible.  Incurring new debt for this purpose was not something I wanted to do.  So, I made a decision to spend some time paying down some of my debt first, and then beginning my program a bit later.  A task that requires a lot of patience and faith.

So that is where I am today.  Part of beginning this blog was the result of the thought…What can I do NOW??  I needed to be able to reach out to people to motivate, inspire, and empower them even if I couldn’t do it through life coaching…yet.  It has certainly allowed me to feel better about moving forward, bit by bit, to reach my goals and while there are still some days when I want to just throw my plans to the side and dive right in, I know that my planning and patience will benefit me in the long run.

The moral of this story is this: Even if you feel you can’t jump right into your goal, find something you can do today that will put you a little bit closer to it and keep you inspired to continue moving forward.  If you want to write a book (one of my dreams), maybe you can begin with writing one page a day.  What ever your dream may be, thee is always something you can do today.  You just have to figure out what that is.

I am a reformed believer that there is always something you can do to put you closer to your goals no matter how far away they may seem.  Each step makes a huge difference and will keep you on right track.

My question for you today is this: What can you do today to put you a little bit closer to your dream?

Away From the Flock

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You’ve heard the saying “birds of a feather flock together” or  “misery loves company”, I was living those sayings for awhile and not in a good way.  For a long time I found myself drawn to people who could commiserate with my misery, particularly in the workplace.  I found myself in a job that I didn’t love, working for a boss that was manipulative, frustrating, and simply unfair.  Many of my coworkers felt the same way, so each day we would spend our breaks complaining about our work lives, though not many of us were doing anything about it.  I soon realized this was not healthy thing for me, and it was keeping me in a very negative mood most days and I just didn’t like the person I was becoming.  I would like to say I came to that realization on my own, but I didn’t.  My partner helped me realize I was allowing the negativity to affect me as a person.  Not only was it affecting me, but I was bringing my anger and frustration home, which was not something I wanted to do.  So after many months of thinking “I can’t help it”,  I made some changes.

 
I began seeing my job for what it was, a job, not a career.  While that thought alone didn’t fix my problematic boss situation, or keep me from being frustrated day in and day out, it was a start.  The next thing I did was limit the time I spent complaining and started focusing on the positive aspects of my position.  I began thinking of what the future may hold for me and what lesson I was supposed to be learning.  I had been looking for another job on and off for about 2 years and had difficulty finding the “right” position which I attributed that to the lesson I still had to learn in my current position.  I didn’t immediately know what the lesson was since I was so focused on the negativity, but then something happened…I changed my attitude.

Once I changed my attitude about my situation my situation changed.  It was like magic!  Within a few months I was asked to apply for a position with another company that seemingly fell out of the sky.  I wasn’t actively looking for another job at the time, but this position fit perfectly with my family life and the impending move we had planned in the coming months.  I couldn’t believe it!  Just when I had stopped looking for the things to complain about, and stopped flocking with the negative crowd, my reality changed and it changed for the better.  Lesson learned…or so I thought.

Lately I have been feeling a pull towards the future me.  The one that has her own business, sets her own hours, and is doing the work that she loves.  A version of me that seems so very far away and at times the thought can be frustrating.  Add to that the stress and frustration at work and I found myself beginning to move towards the flock of negativity again.  Not. Good. News.  With that said there is a flip side to this and that is, I am aware of it.
I am very aware of the road I am beginning to travel down, and I remember very clearly what happened the last time I was on this road.  So I am choosing to turn around and head down a more productive, more positive, more optimistic path.  One of faith.

I have faith that I am being challenged right now for a reason, and while I don’t know what that reason is, I know it will lead me to something better.  I just have to believe not only in myself, but in my dream.  And I am going to do just that.

I intend to be more aware of my complaining and limit it as much as possible so I don’t follow the flock down a road I have already traveled.  I already know what is at the end, and it is not pretty.  I choose to embrace the positive aspects of life and have faith that those positives will multiply.  I’ve seen it happen before, and I know it will happen again with a little faith.
What about you? How do you stay positive, even when your outer circumstances are less than ideal?

My Monarch Messenger

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This past weekend as my partner was leaving to run some errands, she noticed we had a beautiful visitor just outside the front door.  A monarch butterfly had landed on our mums and decided to stay awhile, several hours to be exact.  Every once and awhile it would fly out to the front yard, around our tree and back again. When she showed me the picture she had taken, I was intrigued.

I have seen many butterflies recently on walks around our neighborhood.  I have seen all yellow ones, black ones, and even gorgeous black and yellow ones quite frequently, and every time I see a new one, I smile.  I am reminded of the transformation that takes place inside the cocoon in order for this gorgeous creature to emerge.  Since I have been seeing more and more butterflies recently, I have found it to be a confirmation of my own transformation taking place and a message that I am not alone on my journey. (Something I know to be true, but a little reminder every now and then doesn’t hurt.)

Though I have seen several butterflies recently there were two things that made this particular butterfly stand out to me.  One is that it was a monarch butterfly and in the year we have lived here, I have never seen a monarch butterfly, let alone have one visit us for such a long time.  The other thing that made this butterfly stand out to me is the length of time it stayed perched on our flowers, flying away every once in a while only to return to its original place.  I couldn’t help but think there was some sort of symbolism or message that we were supposed to get.  And since I know there are no such things as coincidences, I wanted to find out the message from our monarch.

Our weekend visitor

Here is what I found from www.zimbio.com.  “Monarchs bring the message of courage: have courage, walk with courage, make changes in courage.  This butterfly travels huge distances on their annual migration following the same route as many birds.  Humans do not have the courage, generally, to travel to unknown places with the conviction of faith that the Monarchs have.  That is the other part of the message-to have faith.  Monarchs realize that the world is not something they control, and yet they make this huge journey.  Humans feel the need to control everything-people, environment, weather, plants and animals.  The message is to let go and let the journey happen. (from Spirit Animals-the Monarch Butterfly-Missing August 29, 2008)

There are many lines in this seemingly small passage that speak to me, one of which is to walk and make changes with courage.  Change has the ability to excite and scare me all in the same breath, and while my journey forward isn’t always outlined and mapped out for me, courage is a necessity to keep moving forward.

Having faith is another part of the message that really resonated with me.  Despite not knowing what may come around the corner, we all must have faith that it will work out for us no matter what.  Sure maybe our journey didn’t take us the route we thought we should go, but in the end sometimes the route we didn’t think of is much better.  We must keep the faith that all will be revealed at the right time, and we will end up exactly where we should be, even if it isn’t where we thought we would end up.

This takes me to the idea of control.  This piece hit a chord with me more than I would like to admit.  I, like many people I am sure, have this desire to have as much control as possible over the outcomes of my dreams, job, and life in general.  The reality is, I can’t really control everything…though try as I might, it just doesn’t work.  So in order to succeed on any journey we are on in life, we must learn to “let go and let the journey happen”.  I love that so much.

Thank you my monarch messenger for such an amazing gift of your beauty, and the reminder to have courage and faith as I move toward my dreams and just when I feel frustration and resistance setting in, I will learn to let go and allow my journey to happen.

How do you let go and allow your journey to simply unfold?

My (not so) Tiny Triumph

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Today has been one of those days filled with ample frustration, work, and irritation.  For the most part my day job runs fairly smoothly without much headache, but boy was today different.  I felt like my energy was spread about in many different directions yet little was getting accomplished.  As I felt my stress building, I received an inspirational email about the upside to irritation.  Clearly this email was meant for me to read at that exact moment.  (I love when that happens. )

The email talked about how every moment or circumstance that invokes frustration or any other negative emotion, is an opportunity to find peace.  It sounds a little bit backwards, but when I took the time to think about it, I could see the point.  Every moment I allowed the frustration of the day to get to me was one less peaceful moment.  I had to make a choice to allow the circumstances that I couldn’t control (most of the work circumstances) to be however they were going to be and change my response to them.

I would love to say I got the message and my entire day turned around, but that’s not entirely true.

As the day wore on the frustration wore me out, literally and it caused me to lose some focus.  I began worrying about all the other things I had to do for the evening that were also piling up because of the lack of time (or the perception of lack, but more on that in another post).  One frustrating thought lead to another and it created a snowball effect from there.  I finally made the choice to change that.

I changed my thoughts.

My mantra for the day changed.  Instead of thinking “I don’t have time to ______(fill in the blank)”, I began thinking, “I will do what I can.”  It was amazing what happened.  I felt lighter, more productive, and surprisingly more in control.  Was all my work done in the matter of minutes?  No, but my focus had changed from what I couldn’t do and what I didn’t have (time), to what I could accomplish in the time I had left.  Everything else that didn’t take top priority for the moment was put on my list for tomorrow and the best part about it all is now I have enough energy and mental power to get a few items done this evening.  One of which is relaxing after a long day.
This may seem like a tiny triumph for one day, but to me it is a lifetime lesson.

There are bound to be many more moments when I feel overwhelmed with all of my commitments especially having a family, working full-time, training for life coaching (in the future), and starting my business.  There will be times when I need to take a step back find my peace in the midst of chaos and with this one lesson I will be a little more prepared for the future.

When you look at it that way, this seemingly tiny triumph isn’t so tiny at all.

What about you? What do you do when you feel overwhelmed or frustrated?