Lamisha Serf-Walls

Success Redefined

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I have made it just past a month since starting this blog (woohoo!) and I am very proud.  Not only have I stuck with my writing every week day, but I have also managed to keep my creativity flowing and I have found that I am never lacking in material or ideas.  Success!!

Or is it?

When I started using WordPress as a platform for my blog, I was (and still am) very excited about how easy it is to use.  For a newbie like myself it was easy to set up and start blogging, and while there are still many things to learn, I feel confident with what I post each day.  In addition to the easy set up, I found (rather quickly) there is some great statistical information you can get in one click of your mouse.  Information about how many people viewed your posted, what country they are from, the number of “likes” for each post, and how many followers you have.  And being the numbers gal that I am, sometimes I find myself obsessing about the numbers.  How many views do I have today?  How many “likes” do I have?  Any new followers?

Crazy right?

I know I just started this magnificently creative, and courageous journey and though I keep telling myself that “every new blog takes time to grow”, I feel a little disappointed in the numbers.  If one of my posts doesn’t have many likes or views, I am starting to wonder about my content.  Is it boring?  Did I post too late or too early?  Should I have certain topics on certain days? Questions that are taking my focus away from my flow of creativity and joy in my writing.  And since I started this blog for two reasons, (to inspire, empower, and motivate others to achieve their dreams as well as to have a creative outlet for my thoughts), I realized that getting the most likes or followers on my blog is not as important and should not be my main focus.

Easy to say, not as easy to do.

So I am redefining success as it pertains to my blog.  Creating a blog and sticking with it was one of my dreams and here I am blogging about it.  I am enjoying the creativity, thoughts, and muses that come about in my daily life because of my blog and am happy to share with others in hopes that as they venture towards their goals, they will know that they are not alone in their journey.  I am enjoying the journey, the connection with other bloggers, and my own space to share my thoughts, visions, words, etc.  I’d say that is a success, a mini success maybe, but a success none the less.  And as my blog continues to grow (and it will), my definition of success may also change.  One day, I might set a goal for a certain number of followers/likes/blog awards etc., but I’m not there yet.  As for today, I am enjoying the process of creating something that matters to me.  And while I will still check out the numbers and statistics (because I’m curious), I will not allow my confidence to waver if I don’t have as much traffic, or “likes”, because while they are great, they are not the reason I am on this journey.  Those things do not define me as a blogger, writer, creator or person, but in time as I continue to make progress in my writing and blogging, those things will grow naturally.  It just takes time and patience. 

That is the great thing about goals.  When you create your dreams or goals, you get to decide what is successful and what isn’t.  For instance, if you are looking to lose a certain amount of weight, you are bound to have a bunch of little successes along the way and it is important to celebrate them as you go.  It builds the momentum and positive energy you will need to stay the course and reach your ultimate goal.  Same thing goes for any goal really.  If you are starting a business, celebrate when you decide on the name of that business.  Celebrate when you find the space for that business.  Celebrate when you have 2 clients, or when you have 10.

The main thing to remember is to celebrate the journey because it is there that you will find many little successes that once built upon, create the life you once dreamt.

Think about it.  How do you define success as it pertains to your most current dream?  I would love to know.

The other side of Rejection

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As a writer much of the writing process revolves around getting your writing published and in order to get accepted, you usually have to go through a lot of rejection.  And while some people can take the rejection in stride as they move onto their next project, I am still learning to look on the bright side.

Today I received an email stating several of my pieces that were under review for possible greeting cards had been rejected.  This isn’t the first time I have received a rejection, and while I am generally a little disappointed, I am usually able to move onward and upward.  Today was a little different.

Over the last few weeks I have been feeling like good news was just around the corner.  I just knew the next time I heard from the greeting card company, that I would be getting several pieces published.  I even had a number in my head of how many I felt were going to be published and a vivid picture of the check I would receive.  Imagine my disappointment when instead of getting a check in the mail, I got a rejection via email.

I was slightly stunned.  I really felt with all of my being that I was going to end this year on a really high note with my writing.  I could just feel it.  I knew that something big was going to happen and since I didn’t have anything else currently in the works (writing wise), this had to be it. Right?  Surprised, disappointed, and feeling a little rejected, I retreated to my office to update my list of pending poems.  It was there I realized I had a choice to make.

I could either wallow in my disappointment, trying to figure out what was “wrong” with my poems, or I could choose to look at the bright side.

I decided to find something positive to focus on, so instead of focusing on the 5 poems that were just rejected, I decided to look at the ones I have still in the process.  I counted almost 75 poems still being considered and of those 75, about 10 are in the final review process and are one step closer to being published.  That is truly something to celebrate.  I also realized while I could choose to take these “rejections” personally, the truth is it’s really not personal and if I have any hope of publishing an article, or book one day, I have to develop a thicker skin.  The business side of writing is not for the weak at heart, and the easier it is for me to take the rejections now, the better I will be down the line.

So where does that leave my gut feeling that something good is waiting just around the corner?  It’s a little bit shaken, but still there.  I still have high hopes of ending this year on a good note with my writing and I have 2 months for that to happen, but if it doesn’t, I will choose to see the good in the situation, just as I did today.

The moral of this story is this: Dreams are magical and perfect creations in our imagination and as they begin to manifest in our reality, it may not always go as planned, but there will always be a choice to see the good in the situation.  And if you make the choice to give up on your dream because of the challenges you face, it probably wasn’t your true passion to begin with.

 

One of Those Moments

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I had one of those moments today,where my entire attention was drawn to a beautiful part of nature that many often miss or overlook.  I was in the kitchen and caught a glimpse of the sky outside the back door.  It was the most beautiful sky I had ever seen and while I wanted to capture it to look back at later, I knew no picture could encompass the beauty that I was looking at in that moment.

 

Instead of running for my camera, I walked outside to absorb as much of the beauty as I could.  I stared at the sky in awe and in deep gratitude for such an amazing show of colors.  Bright pinks, oranges, and lilacs graced the sky and I felt time stop.  In that moment I was in a trance, experiencing the moment for all that it was.  Not moving, not thinking, not worrying…simply being.

As the sun continued to descend and the colors began to fade, I realized I am becoming much more aware of these moments with each passing day.  Moments that stop me in my tracks and allow me to take a reprieve from my thoughts and just be.  In these moments I am fully awakened to what is before me, allowing all thought and worry to disappear if just for that moment.  And when that moment comes to an end, I am filled with a deep sense gratitude for the experience.

I am noticing these moments much more than I did before, and it gives me hope that I will soon be able to just be in every moment no matter what the moment brings and that brings joy to my soul.

Ease Into It

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The other day I set an intention to get my fitness and meditation practices back on track, and yesterday was my first day back.  I was happy to find nice weather outside as I began my extended walk/jog on my lunch break and that optimistic feeling might have caused me to over-estimate my current fitness level.

As I began I warmed up a bit by walking and with the sun shining down on me boy was I feeling good. I felt so good that I broke out into a jog, thinking I could at least jog half of the total distance.  I was wrong.  I found very quickly that I am much more out of shape than I thought and realized I should probably walk before I run.  And as you may already know  patience is not my forte, and sometimes I have a difficult time easing into things.  As I huffed and puffed, I decided to listen to my body and walk the remainder of the distance, but instead of berating myself and judging my lack of progress, I used it as an opportunity to really enjoy my surroundings.  It turned out to be a very lovely walk, leaving me feeling energetic and focused for the rest of my day, a sure sign that exercise and fresh air does wonders for the mind and body.  I also realized that had I not listened to my body, I would have felt very differently about my new fitness regime and over the course of the day I kept thinking…you have to ease into it.

That thought stuck with me because while it applies to my health and fitness plans, it also relates to my dreams as well.  I often find myself passionate and excited about a new project or idea and I want to dive in head first and I have found that if I do the unfortunate result is burn out.  (My two previous attempts at blogging is a great example.)  And while my passion and drive may never cease (at least I hope it doesn’t), I am reminded that in order for my dreams and goals to last, I have to ease into them.

What does that mean?

In regards to my life coaching career it means allowing myself the space to learn along the way, to plan for unforeseen challenges, and enjoy the ride.  There’s a concept I often forget…enjoying the ride.  I have often been so focused (and frustrated) on getting there, that I have found myself dismissing my little victories along the way and forgetting that the journey is really the best part.  And though I will be extremely proud, excited, and feeling over the moon once my business really takes off, I will feel that way because of all the things I did to get there.  The planning, writing, saving, creating, and all the other wonderful things that go into building a business are all things I want to truly experience and if I were to jump in head first, I might miss everything it takes to get there.

I don’t want to miss that.

I want to take it one step at a time (did I just say that?) in order to not only do it the right way, but the right way for me.  It may not be the way everyone else would do it, but then again I am not everyone else.  I am me.  I am passionate about helping people.  I am creative and I am absolutely in love with the idea of helping people achieve their own dreams and as I learn what it takes to achieve mine, I will be that much better at helping someone else.  Those are the things that excite me and allow me to take a step back and say “I will do this”.

So I have decided that while my passion is what fuels my ideas, creations, and my life, it’s something I want to last and so I will be patient.  I will enjoy the journey as it unfolds, be present in each experience, and keep my vision alive, both for my dream of being a life coach, and my intention of getting my health back on track.  But above all else, I am learning more and more, that life is a wonderful journey, and if you can’t enjoy the journey, the destination won’t mean all that much anyways.

Back On Track

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Over the last year or so I have attempted to work some type of fitness into my daily routine as much as possible.  Some weeks I do really well while during others I am lucky to fit a 20 minute walk in an entire week.  Needless to say I have not been very consistent or motivated.  While my weight hasn’t fluctuated all that much despite the lack of activity, I am beginning to see a difference in how I feel, both in regards to my mental focus (or lack there of) and energy and it is not a positive difference at all.  I find myself fatigued much of the time and while my to do list continues to grow, my motivation continues to plummet.  This weekend I was reminded that I need to refocus my health goal and set a new intention to create (and stick to) a fitness regime.

One of my most basic issues with setting a plan surprisingly is that I have been working on being in the flow of life.  Instead of setting a schedule and stressing over every detail, I am sort of letting life take me where it chooses to some degree.  I am learning that this method only works with some things, and perhaps fitness is not one of these areas.  If I am honest with myself (and you) “flowing with life” is probably an excuse I have come up with to make me feel better about not exercising as much as I need to.  I know I have not made my own fitness regime a priority in my life and while it isn’t always my favorite thing to do, I need to make the time for it again.

How do you make time?

I have always believed that we make the time for the things that are important to us, but in a world where we wear many hats, how can you make the time for all that you need and want to do?  Sometimes it seems impossible.

I could give you a million reasons why I don’t work out, how it doesn’t fit into my schedule, or why it is just difficult to stick to, but I won’t.  Instead I will tell you why making time for fitness and any other task that is part of your dream is important.

There will always be something else to do instead of your craft (or any goal or dream you may have) and you may very well find a way to rationalize why the other thing is more important at that moment, but if your dream is worth achieving you must make the time for it.  No.Matter.What.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be every day, but if you create a schedule, stick to it.  (This goes for me and my fitness schedule as well.)  If writing a book is important and you are ready to achieve that dream, set a writing schedule.  If you want to make your dreams a reality, they aren’t going to magically appear, just as I am not going to wake up one morning and suddenly be able to run a mini-marathon, believe me if this was true, I would have run several by now.

We must prioritize the things that are important to us.  If you are like me, you have a list a mile long of things you want to accomplish in a day, but the reality is that even with an unlimited number of hours in a day, you still wouldn’t complete everything.  Prioritizing is a must, but I think the most important thing to do is to is remember we are human.

Life happens.

There will be times when we get distracted and fall out of our routines.  It happens, and the best we can do is flow with what comes and get back to what is important to us.  That is exactly what I am intending to do.  I am getting back to a peaceful mind, energetic body, and creative soul through exercise and meditation.  And while it will require me to rethink how I spend my time (especially since I am blogging again), making time for meditation and exercise is essential for the rest of my dreams to become reality.

With so many responsibilities in our day-to-day lives, we often forget to take care of ourselves and our needs.  Now is the time to change that.  I encourage you to look at your dreams and goals and without judgement, see where you can fit more time to those things that bring you joy, so you too can be that much closer to making your dreams a reality.

What do you want to make more time for?