Lamisha Serf-Walls

Trusting The Journey

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This time last year I was full of excited energy making plans for the coming year and reading anything I could my hands on that would tell me how to make my new dreams come true. I had set my intentions with affirmations, meditations, and by writing my letter to my future self, but I wanted something that would give me a sure-fire way to make it happen. Well needless to say I spent much of 2012 trying to make things happen only to find that when you let go and simply flow with life, not only is life more enjoyable, but things seem to fall into place. (And yes it took me almost a year to come to that realization, though sometimes I still struggle with the letting go part of it.)

Today I was reminded of something I heard (and read several times last year) from Michael Losier, the self-proclaimed Law of Attraction how-to guy. In explaining how the law of attraction works he mentioned that it isn’t our responsibility to figure out “how” something is going to happen, but instead for us to allow it to unfold by setting our intention, matching the feeling of the thing we wish to create or attract and simply let it go. For a control freak, over analytical, must know how everything will work out worrier like myself-I couldn’t get a handle on the letting go and allowing part. Instead I found myself focusing so intently on the thing I wanted to create, manifest, and/or attract that I was not only missing the present moment, but I was constantly noticing the thing that still wasn’t there yet. I felt like a failure.

The good news is I am getting better and today as I reminded myself to be open and trust that things are unfolding in perfect timing, it hit me. The journey to your dreams is very much the same as the journey to any other destination in life.

Inspirational wallpaper by Jess Lively @JessLively.com
Inspirational wallpaper by Jess Lively @JessLively.com

When we set our intention to go to a particular destination, say to someplace exotic, we may have a loose understanding of how we will get there, but we don’t likely know every detail that we will encounter along the way, nor do we worry too much about it. Instead we trust that with our intention set and ticket in hand, one way or another we will get to our destination even if there are delays along the way. Sure your flight may be delayed, or you may have to take a different road, but more often than not you get there safely and when you take a path other than the one you set for yourself, you may find it was the best way to get there anyway.

The key is to allow the path to unfold as you go and to be open to the signposts along the way. They aren’t always going to be big billboards with flashing lights telling you what to do and where to go, sometimes it comes in the form of a whisper from deep within yourself. Sometimes your signposts are little nuggets of information, words, sayings, pictures, or people you meet that gently guide you to your destination and the more open you are and the more you trust that you will reach your destination, the pieces seem to effortlessly fall into place.

So what about the detours, roadblocks, and other things that slow us down?? Well those are just lessons that keep us growing and evolving. But when you trust your intentions, and your path, there really are no roadblocks, they are simply another way to your dreams.  And as I continue to open myself to where ever my path leads, I will continue to trust the whispers, inklings, and signposts along the way, because no matter what I have planned my way isn’t always the best way.

Unexpected Opportunities For Growth

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Today, the first day of 2013, I had expectations that I would spend day dreaming. I envisioned today would be filled with relaxed moments, reflection, and loose planning for the year ahead. But what I experienced was far from relaxation.

I began my day feeling a bit off kilter. I couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was exactly, but I could tell something felt off. Instead of feeling energized about the newness of the year, I was feeling lethargic and a bit on edge. Throughout the day I found myself reacting rather intensely or over reacting in some cases to seemingly small things. My patience was wearing thin and I realized my frustrations were coming from my lack of flow with the events of the day and my lack of perceived control. And while the aspects of the day that were outside of my “control” are not important, I had a pretty strong epiphany by the end of the day.

As 2012 came to a close I decided to choose a theme for this year that would help me keep my focus this year. Incidentally my theme for this year is to be open and by that I mean open to not only the good things, but the challenges and lessons as well. I realized today that I was not only asking for opportunities to remember to be open but in some ways I had attracted these opportunities to flow and be open to life.

Simply deciding to be open or be more patient doesn’t necessarily mean there is an instant change. In fact, any growth or change takes place over time and lasting change happens when we choose to respond to situations in a different way over and over again. What I soon realized is that the challenges I was having today was simply an opportunity to respond differently. This was the beginning of my year of being open.

I believe when I chose the theme for this year I sent a message to the Universe that I am now ready for opportunities to choose to be open, to choose differently than I have in the past. And while I didn’t expect to have my theme challenged on the first day of the year, I firmly believe it is through these moments I will be able to continue to grow and become better at being open and flowing with life, not only in the good times, but also in the challenging times.

Reflection: Surviving to Thriving

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I often find myself sitting in contemplation, reflecting on a certain situation, thought, or book I have read recently.  It isn’t abnormal for me to turn inward for a few days as I think about whatever it is that has given me reason to reflect, and a few weeks ago someone said something to me that got me thinking.  In a conversation I was having about a particular challenge I was dealing with someone said “No matter what you have encountered in your life, no matter how hard it may have seemed, you have always survived.”  In the moment that comment didn’t seem like much, but in the last few weeks I have been reminded of that comment over and over again.

Many times when we are stuck in a rut or dealing with a particular challenge, it is easy to feel like our world is crumbling and everything is falling down on us.  The negative aspects of life seem to be highlighted and we can easily be convinced that we are failing at whatever it is we are attempting to do.  We may think we aren’t good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, and simply don’t measure up to whatever standards we are measuring ourselves by.  It is during those times we believe the illusion that we are destined to fail when the truth is we have made it this far and have been through far worse things in life than this very moment.  And as I have pondered that comment, I realized that yes I have survived every challenge I have encountered and I am better for it.  Of course you couldn’t tell me that in the moment of a complete meltdown, but it is true.

The more I contemplate that thought, the stronger I feel.  I know that I have seen, experienced, felt, and lived some terrible things in life and the “challenges” I experience now are nothing compared to them.  And beyond all that I am here.  I am stronger, wiser, and honestly more creative than ever because of my past and the challenges I have faced.  So yes, I have always survived.  Yes, I will make it through the next proverbial storm. And yes, I am still growing, but I am moving into a phase of my life that is more than just surviving.  I am moving into a phase of life where I thrive.

A phase of life where my dreams transform my reality faster than I can dream it, and my life is wonderful.  Not wonderful because everything is fine and dandy, but wonderful because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am strong enough to handle whatever comes my way.  I am learning life lessons and embracing change more than I have ever before and if you know me ( and many of you do), you know this is no small feat.  And as I write this I know I may need to be reminded of my strength and my ability to thrive when life throws me a particularly difficult situation and during those moments I will read this post and remember the strength that lies within.

 

My No Plan-Plan

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It has been almost a week since my last post and I am so glad to be back.  The last few days I have been traveling with my family and while I typically hold a certain level of expectation for what we plan on doing each day and have a general plan in mind, this time was different.  This time we couldn’t exactly operate on our own accord since the reason for our travels was work-related for my partner and my son and I were just tagging along.  This week I have quickly learned to let go and I must admit, it has been pretty nice.

Generally I like to know what to expect regarding schedules and routines and quite frankly I really enjoy being able to control it.  (Did I just admit that???) I know I can’t always control what is going on and one of the things that makes life an adventure is the joy of the unexpected.  Learning and growing when things get a little hairy and ultimately learning to go with the flow.  This trip has helped me with that lesson.

While we had a loose understanding of what was going to happen during our trip and had an idea of the schedule (as much as you can when you are dealing with the military), we soon realized that “schedule” was sort of a joke.  Within a matter of 24 hours the plan had changed 4 times and it became very clear that we weren’t going to have as much free time as we previously thought.  If this had happened earlier in the year, the control freak in me would have been agitated, annoyed, and just plain angry that we were now unable to do all the fun things we had planned.  The new “go with the flow” side of me just accepted it and made the plan to have no plan.  Ironic isn’t it?

This whole no plan plan is not something I plan on utilizing in every avenue of my life because I really do have to have a plan for my dreams, goals, and many work related tasks, but learning to flow with the energy of life is a HUGE lesson for me.  If you know me personally you will understand that at times I can be a bit of a drama queen and can get very riled up when things don’t go as planned.  I have lived that way for as long as I can remember and yet now I feel like a new me is emerging.  Maybe it is because the year is coming to an end and I am beginning to think of the possibilities of the new year and what I can do to make it the best year yet.  Though I believe that is partially true, I don’t think I set this no plan plan intentionally.  I think it has simply grown out of my experience on this trip.

Intentional or not, this is a great lesson for me to learn.  It is one lesson I am happy to take with me into 2013 and beyond.  I believe a new me is emerging and I can’t wait to see what the new year brings and as we get closer and closer to 2013 there are some other things I would love to share and discuss with you, so check back often to read about my reflections on this past year and my loose intentions for 2013.  I can’t wait to hear about your intentions.

 

Being Ok With Things Unfinished

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With the holidays lurking just around the corner, I feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to complete everything.  In the last few weeks, I have felt like I am playing a lot of catch-up on work stuff, personal stuff, and holiday stuff.  When I begin to feel like things are unfinished, I have to just….breathe.

I am one of those people who enjoys being busy, but only when I am actually getting things accomplished.  I love looking at my to do list and seeing that it is DONE.  Very rarely do I actually accomplish everything on my list, so I often find myself in a constant state of things unfinished, but it doesn’t stop great feeling of putting a check mark next to the things that are complete.

In this process of lists, intentions, and often frustrating circumstances of many, (many) things being undone, I am learning that I can’t do it all, all of the time.  The reality is that I can’t do everything that I want to be done in one day, and very rarely can I get it all done in a week.  Life happens and with a 2-year old, two homes, two dogs, a full-time job, and my midnight hustle (a fun way to say my freelance writing work), life happens A LOT!  So, I may never get it all done, and sometimes I might have to say no to a couple of things for my sanity, but I am learning (yay!), that it is ok.

You don’t get an extra reward for rushing through life doing, doing, doing, you get the most out of life from simply being. So as I venture into my evening with a crippling list of to-do’s, I’m going to intentionally let some things go, because I would much rather indulge in a little bit of down-time, than stress about what I can’t get done.

What is left unfinished in your world that you are ok with, if even for the moment?