Lamisha Serf-Walls

Lessons In Layers

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I have had an epiphany this past week and it is one that I believe I have begun to develop over the years, but for some reason this it is hitting me now.  Maybe it is because I have been doing a lot of internal work, thinking, ruminating, and wondering about life and my journey in this life.

I just realized lessons aren’t learned in distinct moments, but instead occur in layers over time.

It seems I have had many “aha” moments throughout my life only to find myself repeating the same “aha” only to a different degree or in a different situation.  A friend of mine posted something a few months back about learning and re-learning lessons and I told her I thought of learning in the form of college courses.  Instead of learning Patience (period), we learn Patience 101 and Patience 202 etc.  It seems that there are various situations that we can learn the same lesson and yet it still feels new.  And since I tend to have a lot of “aha” moments, I would like to think I am learning them on another level as opposed to believing I am just too stubborn to learn.

As I have come to this Lessons In Layers theory, I began thinking of the lessons that I feel I have learned at least on the surface level.  For instance, thoughts become things, positive thoughts=positive experiences, patience, letting go, allowing life to flow, etc.  I truly believe those are things I have learned, or at least understand on some level and yet I find myself in situations where I realize them in entirely new ways.  It can be both exciting and frustrating depending on how you view it (yet another layer) and yet I feel the same way about personal growth.

At one point in my life (more recent than I care to admit), I thought growing and evolving personally and spiritually was not only a journey, but one that actually had an end (before death of course).  I thought I could hurry up and learn these lessons in order to get to a life of unfettered bliss.  Some part of myself thought that my happiness would begin once all my dreams came true and I would finally be able to live happily ever after.  And being the go-getter that I am, I found myself doing all I could to get there, only to find I was losing this beautiful journey by being caught up in a non-existent destination.  If it wasn’t for a very dear, very wise friend of mine telling me (more than once) that life is about the journey and growth is happening all the time, I would likely still be pushing my way to the end..wherever that may be.

So where am I today?  I am not at the end at all and I am ok with that, for the most part.  I have accepted the fact that I am growing everyday and learning lessons in various layers, in various situations and times.  I am learning to flow with life and sometimes I need a gentle reminder while other times I need a good bonk on the head to revive this important lesson.  The most important part of where I am right now in life is my journey.  I am coming to a place of presence in both mind, body, and spirit to how magnificent life is no matter what is going on.  And while this is a lesson that will come and go, I am ok with taking it slow sometimes.  Sometimes we just need to absorb our experiences with our entire being before we take another step and give thanks for the journey.  I am learning that the journey is the best part…

Gratitude: Perspective

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Last week I had a few moments where disappointment had set in and I turned into a negative Nancy (momentarily).  It seemed that everything I have been working for just wasn’t enough and the things I needed to happen were going nowhere.  I felt stuck, frustrated, and hopeless.  It was not a good place to be, and I wasn’t a delight to be around for sure.  I knew in my head that the “issues” I was feeling were just my way of fighting against what was my current reality and that I needed to desperately find the positive in the situation for fear of falling into a dark abyss of despair.  It sounds much worse than it was, but you couldn’t tell me that in the moment.  So, I took some time to sit with my disappointment and while I felt like everything was going wrong, I slowly but surely came back to my normal self.  I began seeing the situation for what it was and decided to view it from a new perspective.

I am so very grateful for perspective because no matter what life throws at you, if you can shift your perspective for a moment, you can see things with fresh eyes.  For me it meant shifting my thoughts away from what wasn’t happening and moving them to what is happening.  It meant shifting my view of what I didn’t have to see the many blessings I do have.  It also meant viewing my current situation as a gift.  A gift of realizing even when things aren’t going as planned or aren’t moving as quickly as I would like them to, I am still blessed and exactly where I need to be at this moment.  For some reason that thought takes some of the heat off of myself and allows me to stop fighting the current of life and allows me to flow.  Of course you couldn’t tell me that in the heat of the moment.  I am a bit stubborn and can be emotional too, so before I can shift my perception I have to first feel the frustration, anger, and disappointment making sure not to let it linger too long.  I will chalk this up to another lesson learned or at least one I am continually learning.

Perspective is truly a gift.  What can you change your perspective on that would change your reality a bit?

 

Taking My Own Advice With Tiny Steps or Big Leaps

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Have you ever found yourself giving advice to someone else and seeing the picture so clearly, only to realize the very advice you are giving is advice you can/should implement in your own life?  That happened to me today and while the advice was far from prophetic it hit me like a ton of bricks just a few hours ago…I should be listening to myself!

A co-worker had recently mentioned feeling stuck in life, wanting to change multiple areas of her life at once.  With so much to do it seemed overwhelming, yet the yearning, the need, and the desire to change each area was still there, but the time to do it all wasn’t.  In that moment the solution seemed so clear.  It was as if I was looking straight through a clear glass of water and the solution was on the other side staring back at me.  It was simple or so it seemed.

The first piece of advice is nothing we haven’t heard before.  When you feel overwhelmed, break the big stuff down into little pieces and do it one step at a time.  My particular advice was this.  Find something you can do each week no matter how small or insignificant it seems and do at least one thing each week that will move you closer to your dreams.  Set it on your calendar, make a date with yourself, schedule it in your phone if you have to.  It doesn’t matter how you do it, just do it.

Time seems to be a hot commodity in our world.  There never seems to be enough for what we want and need to do but if you are always looking for free time you won’t find it, you have to make time for things that are important.  Sometimes that means getting rid of other things, or moving things around a bit so they fit, but however you choose to do it, you must make the time.  Once you have set this date with yourself to work on your dreams/goals/aspirations etc. keep it.  The momentum will build one step at a time and you will find yourself inspired, motivated and full of passion to continue to make tiny steps or big leaps toward your dreams.

My second piece of advice was to be kind to yourself.  When it comes to goals and dreams, things rarely go exactly as planned and mistakes happen.  In fact they have to happen in order for us to learn.  So when you make a mistake or choose something over your weekly task, it’s ok.  See it, accept it, and do better next time.  You won’t get any closer to your dreams by rehashing your mistakes over and over again.  Know that wherever you are headed takes time and many lessons and accept the lessons with open arms.

Sound like good advice?  I thought it was.  🙂  A few hours later I was wondering how I will ever find the time to write this children’s book I want to work on this year and almost immediately my advice played back in my head.  “You have to make time for what you want…”

This time I am listening and whether my tasks each week are tiny steps or big leaps one thing is for sure, I am making moves to make my dreams my reality and that is what this journey is all about.

What will your tiny step be this week?

 

 

I Am Listening…

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This week has been one of those weeks, yet again.  It seems like time is speeding up and the number of things that must get done are adding up too and while I could very well freak out about what isn’t getting done, or get anxious about the long list, I am not.  Thanks to my meditation practice, I am staying pretty balanced in my mood and doing what I can each day.  With that said, I am human and I still recognize there is much to be done this week, but right now, I am simply listening.

I am listening to my body, my mind, and my inner voice and letting it guide me through my days.  My body is saying “rest” and I am sure it means I need more sleep.  And though I know I could stay up to get through the last few chapters of a book I am reading so I can get some writing done for it, I will not.  I will listen, and sleep.  My mind is telling me to step back, slow down, and breathe.  So I am.  I have taken far more deep breaths today than I can remember in the last week, simply to focus and center myself.  I am listening.

My inner voice seems to have a lot to say about all the “busyness” that is going on this week.  “Let it go. ”  “It’s not worth it.” “It can wait.”  This voice is gently guiding me to do what is best for me right now and to take care of myself and I am listening.  My inner voice is also providing an unlimited number of creative ideas that I truly can’t wait to begin.  When will that be? I am not sure, but one thing I know is that as long as I am listening and following the little nudges here and there, it will all come together in the right time and space for me.  Until then, I am listening.

What do you need to listen to right now?

Following The Signs To Clarity

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I have talked a little bit about synchronicities and following the signposts of life as you venture down your given path. I have often found these signs in books, quotes, a newsletter, or sometimes even songs where a specific topic or set of words just jump out at me and make me think “Aha!”. Well today was one of those days and boy did I have some things jumping out at me.

Over the last few weeks I have been having an internal struggle about what I believe my truth to be. By truth I mean, where I am going, what I am doing, and how my spirituality and belief system is made up (both about myself and the world/society as a whole). I haven’t ever questioned my truth or my spirituality, and don’t particularly find myself questioning it now, but rather wondering how my truth fits into what others believe etc. In the midst of the fog and somewhat confusion I was feeling, I could hear my internal dialogue asking for clarity. I wasn’t looking for it in any given form, nor did I expect it to come about the way it did, but what I found was a series of synchronicities that kept coming about throughout the day. It was as if the Universe/God/Powers that be, was giving me the clarity I was seeking. Simply put, it was amazing.

I’d like to tell you what it was that set these moments of clarity in motion, but I don’t have a formula. I started my day feeling a bit uneasy and since I am committed to my 100 day meditation challenge, I thought what better way to handle such feelings than to be still and quiet my thoughts. Afterwards, I felt a little better, but couldn’t shake this feeling that left me off balance. So instead of trying to push it away, I sat with it. Moving through my morning the way I would normally and allowing the feelings, uneasiness, and day to progress as it should. That is when I stumbled upon a post from one of my favorite blogs the Journey Through The Chrysalis. I found her words lighten my mood and bring a bit of clarity to what I was feeling. I began to feel better and as I did the signs just kept coming.

Almost immediately after reading that post, I saw a status update on FB and an article posted almost simultaneously, providing even more clarity to my particular situation. And it didn’t stop there. Over the course of the day, I had read, heard, and seen several other articles, videos, and blog posts that were either dealing with this particular issue, or reminding me to be open, something I had forgotten over the last few days. Once I reminded myself of my theme for the year, I relaxed. The uneasiness subsided, the chaotic thoughts in my mind calmed down, and I was still. It was then that I allowed myself to let go of this picture I had painted in my mind as a struggle and looked at it from a different view. It is no longer a struggle, it is simply a way for me to grow, both in my own spirituality, but also in how I deal with everything I see as a struggle.

What looks like a struggle from one view, can be very different when you step out of it for a moment and be still, something I was reminded of in my own meditation as well as from Candy Coated Reality (this post is great). Sometimes you even have to get quiet and just listen and if you don’t hear something right away, give it some time and be open to whatever comes your way, you never know where your guidance may show up.