Lamisha Serf-Walls

Keep Your Dreams Alive

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I can’t tell you how many people I have met in various areas of my life who have told me that in one way or another they had given up on their dream.  Some thought them to be unpractical, while others simply didn’t believe in themselves.  I once was a naysayer about my own abilities and struggle with it still from time to time.  When I set out to do something new my old self would immediately say “I can’t..”  I have learned to ignore that little feeling and move forward through the discomfort of change or growing, and I usually find that I could do it and that my old self was just giving me lip service.  But what about those people who have just gotten caught up in everyday life?

How do you keep your dreams alive?

I can’t tell you for certain how to do it, because I believe we are all very different beings.  Some of us respond to certain things, while others do not, but I can share with you how I do it.  Maybe you will find something that will be useful in your own dream resuscitation.

Visualize

I am one of the best day-dreamers around (ahem don’t tell my boss).  I often think of what it will look like to have my dream become reality.  I think about the type of clients I want to work with, how I want my schedule to be set up, what my business name might be, and even what my business card will look like.  I have fun with it.  I simply paint a mental picture of my dream.  And while I may not always feel the dream when I feel like things are moving slowly, visualizing the end result is usually enough to keep me moving in the right direction and best of all it keeps me believing not only that my dream can become reality, but it will.

Talk About It

Talk about your dreams with the people you care about.  Share what you want to accomplish with friends, family, co-workers even.  Those of you that know me personally have probably heard me talk about life coaching or writing a million times over and are probably tired of hearing about it already (though I hope not) and the best part about that is you all become my cheerleaders.  When you share something like this with people who love and care for you, they become part of your journey.  They are going to talk you off the ledge when you feel like quitting.  They are the ones that will say, “But you want nothing more than to ____”.  They are going to remind you why your dream is your dream to begin with, and they get that info from you!  Share your dreams so you can be reminded of them later.

Multiple Dreams

This one may not be so obvious, but it has been a really great way for me to stay excited about all of my aspirations.  I have a tendency to have laser focus when it comes to something I want to do.  Sounds great right?  Not exactly.  If things don’t go exactly as planned or certain parts of my journey become delayed, I can get pretty down about it.  My mind goes into over drive and the negative chatter takes over.  I seem to only notice what is not going well and it goes downhill from there.  But when I have a few dreams to focus on, I can flow between them and if one seems to be at a standstill for one reason or another, then I can easily change focus to work on something else.  This may not work for everyone as some people prefer to do one thing at a time, but it seems to work for me.

Dream Board

Dream or vision boards are a visual representation of what you want to create.  It can be a collage of words, quotes, pictures, or items that remind you of what you are trying to accomplish.  I created a dream board for 2012 and when I looked back at it, I found that many of the items came to fruition.  I am still planning (read procrastinating) on making a dream board for 2013, however I am still envisioning what I want to accomplish this year.  Keeping to my theme this year, I am trying to be open and flow with life as much as possible, so I want to create my board in a way that allows me to do that.  Once my board is complete, I will hang it in my office where I can see it everyday.  I may not look at all of the items on it everyday, but seeing the board everyday will certainly keep my dreams in the forefront of my mind and keep me excited for what is to come.

So those are the ways I am keeping my dreams alive.  How do you do it?

In The Moment Living-And It’s Benefits

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I hope everyone had a lovely holiday and enjoyed time with family and friends.  I had a very nice time with my little family, just the three of us and as we spent our time together my heart was filled with an immense sense of gratitude.  Gratitude for being in the moment and embracing the love that we share on a daily basis.

Today I have a sense of peace in my life, right now.  I realized this morning that many days I have some worry that is taking up space in my mind and causing me to miss this moment, but today I have nothing but peace.  I must admit it is really nice.  Maybe it is because I don’t return to work until tomorrow and there is nothing really pressing that I have to do today.  Maybe I am floating on the sugar high of the goodies I ate yesterday or maybe I am once again learning to live in the moment more and more.  One thing I know for sure is there are many benefits to being in the moment, some of which I am experiencing right this moment.

Besides the peace and lack of worry, I am finding that I am more open to this very moment.  I can see the beauty that surrounds me and can actively practice gratitude in the moment as opposed to practicing gratitude after the fact.  I am more aware of the blessings in my life and can see the positive in each situation I am presented with when I am not preoccupied with the future.

When I am in the moment, life seems to flow.

I noticed this in the last week when I received notification that another one of my poems was selected to be published in an anthology.  Not only was I not expecting to hear anything from the publishers until sometime early in 2013, I was so fulfilled in the moment with how life was going, that I wasn’t stressed about the results of my writing at all.  I was simply allowing life to flow.  I had let go of my desire to control and stress over the outcome of my writing and was pleasantly surprised with publication and payment for one of my poems.  In addition to that, I have landed 2 freelance writing gigs in the last month or so.

I know that just letting go of the outcome of a situation doesn’t create opportunities by itself, but taking action and then being open to the outcome (no matter what it is) has definitely helped me to not only live in the moment, but has resulted in some really great surprises.  I hope that my “in the moment living” becomes a regular practice as I move into 2013 and that I continue to reap the benefits of allowing life to flow, because truth be told, I am much happier when I am flowing with the current as opposed to fighting it.

 

 

Follow The Joy

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Last month I read a post from Jess Lively that really inspired me.  I put the thought into my mental memory bank for later retrieval and after the last two days of my day job I was reminded of this post about a concept of “pretiring”.  Check out her post here.

Jess discusses how she plans to give herself permission each day to do things that she enjoys and to follow her heart to what feels good.  My initial thought was…”you can do that?”.  As I thought about it more, it made so much sense to me.  How different would your world look if you followed your intuition/gut/spidey senses and did the things that made you feel good even just a little bit.  I am a realistic person much more than I like to admit, and the reality for me is that I have a family to help support and I can’t just up and quit my day job to follow my heart.  But I can begin feeling out my writing gigs and only responding to the ones the resonate with me.  I can only write the things that feel natural and organic, and not try to fit into any one box.  The truth is, I don’t belong in a box, I like to wear far too many hats to sit in one place for too long.

I have been inspired to begin doing more things that feel right as opposed to the things I feel I should do, although there are many shoulds that I can’t get away from.  (I should get up for work to pay the bills until my side gigs turn into something that can support myself and my family etc. )

I have read a lot about following your heart and fulfilling your life purpose and from what others are saying, the more you do that authentically, the more you will see opportunities come into focus and you allow your path to unfold for you.  It is at this point that your life’s work doesn’t feel like work, it feels like joy.  So, I am doing just that.  Doing the things that feel good and bring me joy.  What a concept right?

**Disclaimer** Do not be fooled by fear.  Fear has a funny way of making something feel wrong when really it is just trying to limit what you are doing. I too have to be careful when fear comes around because I often mistake it for my gut telling me that something isn’t right, when in actuality it is trying to keep me where I am.  Use your judgement and feel how fear feels for yourself.  It may be different for everyone, but I urge you not to let a fear of failure to stop you from moving towards your dreams.

So, what if you did more of what feels right to you and followed your joy more?  What would your life look like?  I am sure it would look (and feel) much different from how it does now.  I invite you to do something each day that inspires you, excites you, and lights the flame of desire for your dreams.  The more you do, the more you will find to be excited about.  I’d love to hear what you plan on doing more of!

Gratitude: Music and Writing

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This week the two things I am grateful for are things that have impacted my life in so many ways.  They have been used as a means of expression, healing, and continue to add to my life as a whole.  And like many of the things I am grateful for each week, they are things that I often have overlooked.

This week I am grateful for music.  In the last year my musical tastes have changed quite a bit and I found myself not listening to music as much as I have in the past.  This week however, I was reminded of the impact music has had on my life.  I tend to listen to music based on my current mood or sometimes as a way to invoke a sense of relaxation and my musical tastes depend on those moods.  This week however, I started listening to artists I listened to many years ago and was instantly reminded of the circumstances I was going through when a certain CD was on repeat.  It is amazing how quickly I am brought back to specific moment in time through the lyrics of a particular song.

I am also grateful for music because for almost 15 years I used it as a means of expression through dance, and a means of creation as I choreographed specific pieces for groups I worked with.  For a long time music and dance was my life.  I was always listening to a song through the ears of an artist, seeing the choreography appear in my mind’s eye.  It was (and still is, though right now it lies dormant), such a large part of my life and without music and dance, I am not sure where I would be.  My love for music has been renewed this week and I am so grateful for all that it has done for me over the years and I hope to create many more memories that I can later recall through music.

The other thing I am grateful for is my writing.  Much like music, writing has always been a part of my life, though early on in life, I had no idea that it would be something I wanted to do.  Looking back, I always excelled in English, as I found it easy to express myself through the written word, and can remember how proud I was in Middle School, when one of my pieces was published in our local paper.  As the years passed, my writing would ebb and flow.  Sometimes I would write poetry, sometimes I would simply keep a journal, but looking back on it now, I realize my writing was a means of healing for me.  Since then my writing has evolved and I suspect it will continue to change over time, and as it does I will remain grateful for this wonderful means of expression.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

 

Don’t Forget To Dream

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In the last month or so I have spoken to two friends that I have known for several years.  Both are a bit older than myself and find that they have reached a point in life that they need a change.  After talking to them and asking them questions about why they feel the way they do, I came to the conclusion that they have lost the ability to dream.

I asked one of my friends the question I have asked many people regarding if money were not an issue what would she want to do, and I was astounded at her response.  She didn’t know.  She had no way of identifying what brings her joy or what she would want to do next in life.  A few weeks later, I was talking to my other friend and the conversation went in the same direction.  This friend even asked me “Am I too old to dream?” After telling her “Of course not, you are never too old to dream.”, she confided in me she didn’t know how to dream.  She had always been focused on getting by and simply making it to the next day, that she never allowed herself to think too far into the future.  While I believe living in the moment is a beautiful thing, dreaming is what makes life magical. 

I fear that many people in the world have lost their ability to dream at some point or another as they are overcome by their current reality.  Their current state of being has overpowered their ability to be open to possibilities and limited their ability to see the world through a child’s eyes again.  A world where there are no restrictions, no boundaries, and nothing stopping you from dreaming of the best life possible.  Sometimes we grow up knowing that bills have to be paid and so we must work and are often told to get our head out of the clouds and come back to reality.  If you ask me, losing the ability to dream is one of the most detrimental parts of being an adult.

The good news is that you can begin to dream again.  Just as I told both of my friends, just because you lose sight of it for a while, doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.  You simply have to flex your imagination and begin to see the world differently.  For some people dreaming doesn’t have to be winning the lottery or striking it rich somehow.  For many, dreaming means doing work that they love, making a difference in the lives of others, and simply being the best person they can be.  And if you have lost your ability to dream, you might wonder where to begin.

My first suggestion is to begin seeing the magic that is already around you, some of which you may be overlooking.  Keep a little notebook of magical moments and write them down as you experience them.  Maybe you want to keep a gratitude or beauty journal where you write down all the things you observe that strike you as beautiful or list items everyday that you are grateful for.  The key is to get out of your head and into the world.  Become an observer of your surroundings and look at the world through different eyes.  Enjoy the twinkling Christmas lights, notice the beautiful colors of the sunrise or the sunset at night, enjoy looking up at the stars at night and feel the abundant magic that lies within all of these things.  The more you begin to notice the magic of everyday life, the easier it will be for you to believe that you can employ that same magic in your own life.

The more you notice the magic around you, the more you will begin to feel the joy that comes with it.  The appreciation for the things, people, circumstances, and brilliance that are already around you.  Use that joy to begin thinking of other things that bring you joy and write it down.  In your perfect world what does happiness look like for you?  Describe it, feel it, taste it, smell it, and see it.  That is what dreams are made of.  They are magical visualizations full of vibrant feelings that employ all of your senses.  Dreams light the fire inside you to move forward and to not only believe your dream is possible, but to know it is.  Sure it might seem crazy to someone else, but this is your dream.  Dream it, feel it, and then go out and get it.

Life isn’t meant to be difficult.  Sure there are times when we all struggle with certain circumstances in life, but I truly believe life is meant to be enjoyed.  So find your joy again.  Find it, feel it, and keep it.  And as you venture through your day, and make your plans for 2013, don’t forget to dream!