Lamisha Serf-Walls

This or That: What To Do At a Crossroad

by

crossroad

Happy Tuesday Lovely readers!

How many of you have been in a situation lately or in your life when you have had to make a decision?  I’m not talking “what shall I have for dinner tonight” although for some of us this can prove to be a pretty challenging decision.  I am talking about the BIG decisions.

For instance: Taking one job over another.  Moving ‘there’ or staying right where you are.  Follow your dreams or stay where it’s secure.

In the course of my life I have made many seemingly big decisions and every time I sat down to think them through, I got anxious.  I wanted to make the right decision!  My thoughts were clouded by all the pros and cons and I was overwhelmed by the options and how they would play out in the future.

I was at a crossroads and I didn’t know which way to go.

What I didn’t know then (but I know now), is that we all have an internal-decision-maker.  It’s called the heart.  Ok, maybe not the physical, blood pumping heart, but it’s the intuitive “heart” that can feel its way through situations.  The problem is we forget we have it because we have grown so accustomed to thinking our way through issues, we immediately try to do what is logical.  If you are like me, you may have found the logical route to be more than a bit rocky and instead downright miserable.

The work I do with clients is to help get them out of their heads and into their hearts.  Instead of thinking through the pros and cons of a situation, I want them to feel their way forward.  Our bodies are amazing and they can provide a lot of information about the decisions and choices we make on a daily basis.  I find that the ‘wrong’ choices (or at least not the best choice for me in the moment) feels restrictive to me.  My chest tightens and things just feel heavy overall.  However, when I make a choice from my heart and it is the ‘right’ choice, I feel expansive and an opening occurs in my chest.  I feel uplifted and light.  Those are my markers, but you may feel differently.  The key is tapping into your body every now and again (I suggest daily) to get to know the feelings that come up as you make your decisions.  It could help you immensely as you move forward along your path.

Now, I don’t believe in making ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choices (even though sometimes it feels like there is one or the other).  I believe that every choice we make along our paths is an opportunity for growth, learning, and experience.  Whether you feel you have made the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision, there is always an opportunity for you to move forward and make your dreams a reality.  Always.

But, in order to get there and enjoy it to the best of your ability, you must learn to tap into your intuitive heart and feel your way forward.  And that is why I have created something called Crossroad Coaching.  

Crossroad Coaching is for when you have those moments of uncertainty and you are unsure of which way to go.  You have a decision to make and are having trouble discerning what is best for you, right now.  That is where I come in.  I can help you tap into your intuitive heart and help you work out where the kinks might be, so you can feel good about your decision.  I want you to feel comfortable and confident in the decisions you make and I want you to step boldly into your future with the light, bright, and expansive feeling you have when you know everything is working out exactly as it should.  If you are interested in how Crossroad Coaching works, feel free to contact me and we can chat about your specific situation.

And should you find yourself questioning whether to follow your dreams now or later, take a look at this awesome video from Marie Forleo where she gives some insight to a reader who has a decision to make of her own.

The Big, Ugly, Green-Eyed Monster

by

We have all had this experience at one time or another right?  You have an amazing dream, you work hard for it, you have a passion that runs deep, yet you keep running up against brick walls and speed bumps.  And then as you open your Facebook page to drown your sorrows in some mindless news feed scrolling, you see the amazing things everyone else is doing. (What?!)

You see business posts about how someone just made a bajillion dollars within their very first day of launching a new program.  Someone else just had a baby and is now rockin’ a beach body with 6-pack abs and don’t get me started on the other people taking amazing vacations, getting job promotions, and landing free tickets to their favorite show.  All the while you feel like pulling your hair out because you can’t get your website to look right, your clients won’t call you back, and your dog just puked on the rug.  (Insert a string of expletives here.)

You wonder how it can be so easy for everyone else and not for you.  You question what you are doing wrong and as shallow as it might sound, you want what they have…and you want it yesterday!

Can I tell you a secret?envy

You are not alone.  Everyone has had their own experience with the big, ugly, green-eyed monster, especially when things feel like they are taking a turn for the worst. I’ve been there and the reason I am writing this post now, is because I found my own green-eyed monster poking it’s ugly head out a bit recently and I don’t like it.

Step one in dealing with the monster is recognizing it.  Step two is realizing that everyone has their own version and you are not alone.  Step three, dismantle it.

But how?

I think we all know that the face we put on Facebook and other social media platforms isn’t always 100% accurate right?  I mean, sure people post their best statuses and best pictures during times when things are going well, but that doesn’t accurately depict what is really going on in their lives.  And even if their lives are all shiny diamonds and gorgeous rainbows, there really is no reason to compare.

Take your big dream for example.  It’s YOURS.  It’s unique, exciting, and dipped in all your amazing-ness because it is your dream, not someone elses.  Their path to success isn’t going to be the same for you and let’s be honest, how they define success might not be the same either.  For one person success is being able to live a minimalist lifestyle with their family at home while another is being able to travel the world on a whim.  Your dreams, your goals, your success, are all yours.  You get to dictate what it looks like, how it feels, and what that means to you.

That sounds all fine and good but when it feels like things are going nowhere and your dreams have grown stagnant, their lives sound really good.  So what about that?

In my own experience (just this past week), I have had to identify where the green-eyed monster was coming from.  Is it really about what they have or is it a lack that you feel regardless of the comparison?  Is it because they are so much further than you or are you worrying about something that has yet to come?

Understanding the core issue to envy is key, but it can be hard to pinpoint especially when you are in the throes of it.  Here are a few things to remember when dealing with your own big, ugly, green-eyed monster:

  • “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt – This is by far one of my favorite quotes because it is so true.  We don’t know much about what other people have going on or what it took for them to get to where they are today.  It isn’t fair to you and your dreams to compare your progress, journey, or pain point to someone else.  Be easy with yourself and trust that things are working out exactly as they should.
  • Bring yourself back to this moment.- Every time we focus on a future (or past) moment in time, we are not allowing ourselves to truly be in this moment.  Envy is the same.  When we are looking at what others have and we don’t or when we are wishing, wanting, and desiring to be anywhere other than where we are, there is opportunity for a disconnect.  But, when we are in this moment and can accept it just as it is, then there is no comparison or room for envy.
  • Trust– A big part of making your dreams become a reality comes down to trust.  Trusting your intuition, your gift, and your path and reminding yourself that you will have all the things you need to make your dreams come true in due time.  There may be lessons to learn, people to meet, or opportunities to accept that will lead you to the very next step and being envious how it worked out for someone else is a waste of energy.  Trust the process.
  • Celebrate the success of others– I understand sometimes the last thing you want to do is celebrate the success of another especially when you are struggling with your own dreams, but what if seeing the success of others is somehow letting you know that not only is success possible, but that yours is on the horizon.  What if that could provide a bit of inspiration instead of envy for you to keep going?  Wouldn’t that be something?  Instead of wallowing in the world of envy, you could be congratulating and celebrating with others as you trust that your own success will come when the time is right.

We have all experienced our own version of the green-eyed monster, so if you find yourself feeling a bit envious, just be easy with yourself.  Your time will come and your journey will be amazing, in its own way.  For now, just relax, regroup, trust the process, and remember why your dream is so important to begin with.  And if all else fails, stay off of social media sites, chances are you could use a little unplugged time anyways.

**February is the month for love or it could be your month to get started on your big dreams.  Sign up for my newsletter to be added to my VIP list so you are the first to find out about free calls and new group coaching I will be launching very soon.  And if you have been thinking about leaping into the life of your dreams and want some help on your journey, contact me to schedule a consultation.  I would love to find out more about how I can help you make 2014 your best year yet!**

Find Your Tribe

by

When you finally take the leap into making your dreams a reality, everything seems so delicate.  Your ideas can be crushed by a simplest of things.  Confidence flies out the window when you are met with even the slightest challenge that can send your thoughts spiraling out of control.  The inner mean person comes out to play and tells you all the reasons you can’t win, won’t succeed, or shouldn’t even try.

In moments like these you need your tribe of supporters to remind you why you began in the first place.

Don’t have a tribe yet?tribe

Get one asap!

They say it takes a village to raise a child and I strongly believe that it takes a few good minds to help keep your dreams alive.  Sure you could do it on your own, but you might be met with more false starts than you care to have.

So who do you include in your tribe of inspiration and support?

Truth be told, you can include anyone that fits the description of loving, compassionate, supportive, and a good communicator to talk you off the edge when things get hairy.

While it might seem easy to include loved ones like family members and spouses in our tribe, sometimes that opens a can of worms in and of itself.  You see, those people already know you and your stories.  They have known you for years (in some cases your entire lives) and while their intentions might be good, they might inadvertently remind you of times you have tried and failed.

Some people use a mastermind group of people with similar interests to bounce ideas around with.  You might even find a few good groups on Facebook that you can find inspiration and support from.  The key is to find a group of people with who you can safely speak about your heart’s desires and receive the support you need when those negative thoughts come in.

Blogs are a good place to connect with like-minded individuals and so are online workshops or other interest groups.  You can also find similar support in a meet-up group or at places like a local yoga studio.  Get out there and get curious, you never know who you might connect with.  I have found many amazing groups on Facebook as well and they have proven to be invaluable in the amount of support they have provided.

Have you already found your tribe?  If so, how did you meet?

Would you be interested in a circle of support for your amazing dreams? Answer in the comments, I would love to know!

So Many Ideas…Where To Begin?

by

In the past few weeks I have had several conversations with potential clients about their dreams and the multitude of ideas they have flowing through their minds at any given moment.  With so many ideas and so much creativity, they are finding themselves paralyzed and unsure of what to tackle first.  It is sort of like seeing your to-do list with 15 different things on it and not really knowing where to begin, so you just don’t do anything.

Have you been there before?

I think it is something that happens to many of us when overwhelm sets in.  Just taking that first step can be scary and is enough to cause you to ignore it and procrastinate even more.

So where do you start?

I find it much easier to start with the small stuff and use that to build momentum for the bigger things.

But what if it all feels like ‘big stuff’?

That is a valid question considering when we first set out to accomplish our dreams, they can often feel like huge mountains to get over, but if you can take a step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture, you might be able to make out a tiny first step.  If you still are having trouble, hiring a coach or chatting with someone about your ideas can help put your thoughts to rest a bit more so you can take the first step.smallsteps

The truth is, what you do in that first step matters less than the fact that you just begin.  When I took the leap to begin my coaching practice, my early first steps entailed a ton of research.  I looked at coaching programs, various coaches, credentials, coaching philosophies, and even contacted two coaches to talk to them about the work they do.  Some of my other small steps included just writing down all of my ideas, coming up with a name for my website, and getting a bare bones website up and running.  Some of those steps took mere moments to complete while others took upwards of a week or more, but every time I sat down to work on it, I felt like I was making progress and that led to more momentum.

Still need help deciding what those first steps might be?  Check out the examples below.

  • You want to start a website, but are unsure of how to set it up or if there will be any interest.  Small step:  Set up a FB page first.  It’s easy to do and you can build your community there before you launch your site.
  • You have some artwork, crafts, or handmade jewelry that you want to sell, but the idea of setting up an Etsy account makes you break into a cold sweat.  Small step: Find a local craft fair to sell your stuff through or talk to your friends and family members about what you are making. You can also set up a FB page for your crafts and sell it that way.
  • You want to become a yoga instructor, write about yoga, and open your own yoga/meditation center, but you aren’t sure about how the yoga training works, how much it costs, and are overwhelmed with the idea of doing it all and question whether you can.  Small Step: Ask one of your yoga instructors some questions about their training experience and how they did it.  Pick their brain regarding some of your ideas and utilize the vast amount of experience and info they can provide to you.

The truth is no matter how many dreams/goals you have accomplished, there are always going to be more, so take it step-by-step and start small.  And if you find yourself at a loss for where to begin and what to do to get started, feel free to set up an introductory coaching session with me.  I am happy to chat with you about untangling the web of ideas you have in your head that might be keeping your paralyzed.  In fact, I love helping clients break their big, bold dreams into bite size steps that result in a big win!  Let me help you do the same.

If you are interested in what coaching can do for you please sign up for your introductory session here.  Also, don’t forget that my very Inspired Giveaway will be ending TOMORROW so head over here to sign up for your chance to win a copy of Inspired & Unstoppable by Tama Kieves.

 

 

Have Fun Friday: Playful Exploration

by

Happy Friday Dreamers,

I hope this week has brought you lots of progress, joy, and a ton of fun, but if you find yourself lacking a bit in the fun department, this post is for you!

Too often we fall into a pit of productivity with an undying need to produce and check items off our to-do list and in doing so we find our energy is lacking, inspiration has taken a hike, and the things we really WANT to do, quickly fall by the wayside.

I know this, because I was falling into that same pit this past week.  As the week wore on, my motivation grew less and less until I just couldn’t find the energy to even look at my to do list or do some of the stuff I have been excited about for the last few weeks.

So, what do you do when things feel so ‘meh’ and you need to jump-start your battery?

Have a little (or a lot) of FUN!medium_4555697070

When was the last time you went out exploring?  Took a class that peaked your interest just because. Been to the movies lately?  What about taking the family to the park or on family expedition for a hike to explore the great outdoors?  When was the last time you did something to shake up your day?

I can tell you it’s been far too long since I have been to the movies or taken a hike.  I haven’t even taken a stroll around my neighborhood in quite some time, so I think some FUN is in order for this fantastic Friday.  Don’t you?

So put away your to-do list and your calendar.  Turn your phone off and leave your tablet at home and go out and have good old-fashioned, no technology, no distractions, explore the world FUN.  Be playful, have fun, and connect with yourself, your family, your spouse, and nature for goodness sake.  The work will still be there when you get back and I promise, you will get more done in less time when you return simply because you gave yourself a chance to breathe.

As for me? I am going to switch up the scenery a bit and bust my son out of daycare early to go on what he likes to call a “magical adventure” to places unknown.  I may not know where we are going, but I know wherever it is, we are going to have fun.

Enjoy your weekend dear dreamers and as always thanks for reading!

P.S.  If you haven’t signed up for my VIP List, please do so today.  Next week I am announcing some service changes and will be giving away a very inspiring gift to one lucky reader and if you are on my VIP list you get first dibs on new stuff so you don’t want to miss out!

photo credit: stitchin.thyme via photopin cc