Lamisha Serf-Walls

Don’t Borrow Trouble

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The last two days have been interesting.  I have found myself in the weirdest of moods and somehow my inspiration has fallen by the wayside.  I can’t quite put my finger on what has changed in the last two days, but I do know that it will pass.

We all have these moments don’t we?  Times when things aren’t “bad” or “good” and instead they hang somewhere in the space between two extremes and just feel “meh”.  It is part of the ebb and flow of life and while I tried many ways get out of this mood none of them worked.  So, after trying everything in my be-happy-arsenal, I just let it be.

I stopped trying to fight the inevitable feeling of blah and accepted it for what it is…a pause in action, momentum, and a chance to just be.  Does that sound too hippp-dippy for you?  Think of it as a break.  A break from whatever it is I needed a break from…sometimes even we don’t know what that is.letitbe

While I would like to say I am so good at simply being, I’m not.  I tend to fight the feeling especially when I am in moods like these.  A feeling that is hard to name and almost impossible to find the source of.  Yet, being the overachiever, I can do anything, go-getter that I tend to be…I had to know.

So, I began thinking about all the many reasons I could feel like this.  Is it the weather? Job frustrations? Personal issues? Worry about the future? Stress?  No matter what reason I gave it, none of them felt right and then I had to ask myself…

Why am I borrowing trouble?

I first heard this term from a co-worker a few years ago and if you don’t know what borrowing trouble is, it is worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet and creating undue stress, frustration, and anything else that is not needed in the moment.  That is exactly what I was doing.

Somehow I thought that if I could name it or find the source, then it would cease to exist.  That if only I could figure it out and wrestle it to the ground, I could somehow solve the mystery and get back to my bubbly, inspired self, and move forward with all the good stuff on my path.

I was wrong.

So, I settled with the feeling and decided to let it hang around for a bit, hoping that it would slowly dissipate.  Lucky for me it is working.  I am beginning to feel a bit better and hope that with some additional rest, listening to my body, and just being, I will be back to my regular self again soon.  In the meantime, I am remembering a very important lesson about not borrowing trouble and I want to pass it along to you.

When you find yourself worrying about something that is not in this very moment, you are borrowing trouble.  When you are wondering how something is going to happen and trying to think of all the ways it can go wrong, you are borrowing trouble.  When you are trying desperately to figure something out instead of allowing it to be what it is and letting go a little bit, you have the potential to be borrowing trouble.  And when you are feeling a feeling that you can’t quite figure out instead of listening to what it is telling you, you may be borrowing trouble.

There is enough “trouble” in the world without us looking for it, so why not take some time to just be in the moment and learn whatever lesson it is here to teach us, knowing that it will soon pass.

The good news about these moments and moods is that it helps us remember who we want to be, how we want to feel, and creates a sense of gratitude for the good stuff.  So, if you find yourself in a similar situation remember, don’t go borrowing trouble and in the words of Abraham Hicks, “hang on it will be over soon.”

Identifying Your Gift

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Last week I wrote a post about finding your gift, embracing it, and sharing it with the world and I wanted to go a little deeper into those three pieces.

I have come across many people in the world who don’t believe they have much to give in this world and are honestly blind to the wonderful gifts they have and use everyday.  Sure, they have interests and hobbies, but nothing they deem is of value to the world.

If you are one of those people, know that you DO have a gift to share and if you aren’t sure how to find it, read on.

While traditional society can make a big deal about doctors, lawyers, famous musicians, and artists, the truth is most of us don’t fall into any of those categories.  In fact, each gift we have, even if it is similar to someone else, is unique to us because of our life experiences.  No two singers, actors, dancers, writers, editors, boat-makers, professional golfers, or anyone else has the same experience to share with the world.  Each perspective is unique and beautiful and adds amazing value to the world because no matter how hard we try, we can’t all reach every single person with our gifts.

So how do you find what your gift might be?Gift

  • Think about what you do naturally.  What comes easy to you?  What are you known for in your social circles?  Maybe it’s communicating, organizing, styling, fixing things, etc.  It doesn’t have to be one single thing.  It can (and is likely to) be many things.
  • Think about what you enjoy doing.  Many times our thing is something we love to do.  For me, it is inspiring, writing, and helping people get unstuck along with many other things I enjoy doing.  What is it for you?
  • Ask around.  See what your parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, and employers say about you.  Many times other people can see your gifts much more clearly than we can because of our perspective and sometimes the lack of confidence that comes with it.
  • Get rid of the “shoulds”.  Far too often we have an idea of what we “should” be doing in life.  “I should do something more professional, worthwhile, more important” etc.  Let go of what others believe you should become and think of who you are.  Who do you want to become?

My last bit of advice is to be easy about it all.  The joy of life is that we can pick and choose and revamp and edit our lives as we see fit.  If one thing doesn’t feel right, we can try something else.  If we make a mistake, no biggie, we can try and try again.  Don’t allow these exercises to be so big and scary that you find yourself intimidated.  Just go with the flow and see where your thoughts take you.

Also, remember that as human beings we grow, change, and evolve, so the passion you had two years ago may not be the same.  You may also find you have many things you enjoy doing, but to different degrees.  For instance, I was once a part-time choreographer/dance coach for competitive high school teams.  It is something that is near and dear to my heart and while I am not doing much with that particular gift at the moment, that doesn’t mean I will never tap into it again.  I am simply allowing another part of myself shine and that is totally ok.

Take some time to answer the questions above and feel free to share in the comments section.  I would love to know what gifts you discover!

 

Dreamer Highlight: D. Speller

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Travel

Wow it seems like August came in and the energy just took off right away!  I am a little behind in my Dreamer Highlight post, but I wanted to make sure to leave a little inspiration for you for the rest of the week ahead.

This week’s Dreamer Highlight does not include any links, but my hope is that the story tells it all.  D. Speller is a dear friend of mine from college who has inspired me in so many ways over the years.  Not only was he an outgoing, courageous, fly by the seat of his pants-type of guy in college, but he never once backed away from an adventure or experience that may add value and meaning to his life.

After graduating from college, he moved to Chicago to live the city life for a few years and to save some money in order to fulfill his ultimate dream of traveling around the world.  I never doubted that he would do so, but I never imagined he would set out on an adventure like the one he has had over the years.  When he left Chicago, he set out for South America, (Santiago, Chile )to be exact and as I lived vicariously through him, I couldn’t help but wonder where he got the courage and the passion to make his trek all over the world.  Traveling to Chicago, South America, Spain, and now to Australia he has become a trailblazer following his heart every step of the way.

Never once asking how he was going to do it, or where he would stay or who he would meet, he trusted his intuition and desire for adventure.  He is doing what many people only dream of and his story is an inspiration for us all to follow our hearts.

When we have a desire or a passion that burns within us, we often find ourselves questioning how to do it.  Where do we start?  What if we fail?  What do we need to do to get started?

Some don’t even get that far as they instead put it off for another week, month, or year when they have more money, more knowledge, more inspiration, and more excuses.

Sometimes it is enough to say, “Yes I want to do this, and I WILL.”  Setting the intention is sometimes all you need to set the wheels in motion for all the other pieces to fall into place.

What dream have you been putting off for another day?  There is no day like the present to get started.

Wanna chat about how I can help you get moving on your dreams?  Check out my Jump Start Your Dream program for more info!

My Coaching Philosophy-The Inspired Path

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inspiration2

I find it interesting how many of us live in our heads.  Our thoughts take over as we analyze our life options and choices to a point that we almost become obsessive.  We weigh the pros and cons of our choices in order to make the right decision, all the while forgetting and simply ignoring how we feel.  We have become so disconnected from our hearts that we often don’t even allow our feelings to register.  We dismiss them as nothing more than an inconvenience to getting things done, but what if instead of making choices with our analytical monkey brains, we took a moment to feel each option?

In the past I have made my decisions based on logic and analysis.  I graduated high school knowing that the next logical step was college.  When I selected a major I decided on something that was feasible and somewhat interesting, though I had no idea what I truly wanted to do and when I found something that really hit an inspirational nerve with me, I ignored it.  I continued down that path of “logical” thinking and decision-making for many years, though there were moments when I followed my heart and ignored my head.  In those moments, there was no weighing my options, I simply knew what I needed to do yet more often than not, I worried, analyzed, and weighed my logical options.  Options that seemed somewhat safe.

When I decided to set out on my own and throw myself a curve ball in my career plans, I developed a coaching model that is primarily based out of inspiration and how we feel.  I found that in my own choices to not follow the logical path, I felt alive, inspired, and made incredible progress toward my dreams.  I encourage my clients to do the same.

Follow your heart, your passion, and your bliss and if the logical path feels right, do that too.

We are moving beyond a world of people who are punching the clock to simply survive and into a world of creative souls fulfilling their deepest desires.  My goal is to help those creative souls trust their instinct and their inspiration to do something that makes their heart sing.  Life isn’t meant to be a struggle full of headaches and speed bumps.  It’s meant to be enjoyed, experienced, embraced, and by golly it’s supposed to be FUN.

If you find yourself questioning your life purpose are wondering where your passion lies, just follow your heart and do things that make you happy.

The logical path isn’t the only path to your dreams though many times it is the most difficult.  Instead of believing there is only one path available, be open to the idea that there are many paths that will lead you to the life of your dreams and if you lead with your heart and follow the inspirational nuggets along the way, any path you take will be wonderful and will likely fill your soul with more happiness than you ever imagined possible.

Still not sure how to get started?  Feel free to contact me at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com for more information on how I can help you jump-start your dreams.

P.S.  I will be holding a week of free introductory coaching calls in the coming weeks for those of you interested in working with me, so stay tuned for more information on that soon.  I am so excited to begin working with dreamers like you who want to begin living the life you once dreamt sooner rather than later.

The Comparison Pitfall

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Comparison

It seems that comparisons have become commonplace in our society and have somehow become the ruler by which all other things are measured.  For instance, if you are a new actress or author, the media makes every attempt to put you in a box with others that are like you.  It makes sense that we have gotten used to this metric and have since taken to measuring our own successes and experiences by those of others in a similar situation, however I can’t help but feel like this has become a huge detriment to our ability to stand out and find success in our uniqueness.

The truth is we all have our own gifts we bring to the world and while some say everything has already been done, we bring our own flavor and experiences to everything we do.  No two writers, actors, business owners, coaches, or athletes are the same, so why do we constantly compare ourselves to others in order to define our greatness?  When did it become so important for us to keep up with the Joneses in our attributes, successes, and bank accounts?

Beginning

I’m not sure when this became commonplace, because to be honest it has been a common theme in my life.  Everything from my dance background in high school to my current business plans have been surrounded by the idea that I had to live up to someone else’s measure of success or else I would be deemed a failure.  I know I am not alone in this and yet I know better.

I know that what I do in my business, what I offer by way of my own coaching, and my writing are all extensions of my own creative mind.  A mind that is like none other and a mind that brings a unique essence and life experience with it.  If I know better intellectually, why do I/we continually compare our gifts and talents to those of others?

The answer?  Because that is what we have been taught by society, by our teachers, and many of us by our parents because they were taught the same thing.

The great thing about learning something is that with a little re-framing and re-learning we can change those habits into something different.  We can move away from thinking that in order to find our worth or define our greatness that we must measure up to the number of published articles, the thousands of dollars in sales, or the number of clients someone else has.

Your worth and greatness are only defined by your own unique gifts.  And I am here to tell you that no matter how “professional” or “successful” someone else appears, they weren’t always that way AND they don’t have your unique life experience and flavor you bring to your craft.  That is yours alone.

So the next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone and feeling less than the next guy, remember you are worthy of living the life of your dreams and only YOU can bring your magnificent gifts to this world.  Never forget that!