Lamisha Serf-Walls

Flowing vs Forcing

by

After my big announcement yesterday I had a difficult time sleeping last night.  I don’t know if it was the excitement of sharing the big news or if it was my mind running wild with all kinds of ideas and insights.  One thing is for sure though, my inspiration is high and I am so excited about moving forward with my dreams, I can hardly stand it.  I am trying to stay in the inspirational mindset and not allow myself to float away on a sea of questions that seem to be popping up here and there.

Questions like:

How are you going to get clients?

When will you start?

How much will you charge?

Are you sure you can do this?

How? How? How?

I am letting go of all of those questions right now and focusing on the current task…building my model.  Instead of worry about all the details, I am taking it one step at a time and allowing my inspiration to lead me and to be honest, my model is coming together faster than I expected.

I am allowing my inspiration to lead me as opposed to my logic.

I am choosing my dreams over what reality tells me.

I am choosing hope over doubt.

I am flowing with my ideas instead of forcing them and I must say it feels great!  Who knew letting go of the how could feel so good?

My Flying Leap!

by

I love when I get messages from the Universe that catch my eye and provide a bit of meaning to my current situation…that is when I take notice.  Sometimes I don’t realize the meaning or impact of a quote, statement, or article until I look back, often kicking myself for not noticing it before.  But, as I am learning, everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t know what that is.

Looking back over the last few weeks I noticed I had an eery feeling of discontent upon waking almost everyday.  I didn’t have any particular worries on my mind and I couldn’t quite pinpoint the source.  I would meditate, write in my journal, and compile my gratitude list to help combat this feeling, but I was never really able to get rid of it entirely.  I have also been reading a lot.  Books, quotes, articles, other blogs, and newsletters all with a similar theme.  They became what I like to call “inspirational nuggets”, and while I really enjoyed the information, it didn’t really click.  At least not right away.

The first post was from the When I Grow Up Coach website.  It was about how Michelle Ward’s husband decided to quit his day job to venture into the freelance world.  It’s a really great post and you can read more about it here.  I read it and thought, “Gee I can’t wait to be able to do that.  Of course I will have to do x, y, z first and then…”

The second post was a post from Tiffany Han that discussed achieving your dreams Someday vs Right Now.  In my head my life coaching business has always been a someday kind of thing.  Sure I want to do it and I know that it is what I am meant to do, but there are so many things I should do first…or at least that is what I kept telling myself.  When I read this post, I was thought..”Sounds good but…” and I left it in my inbox to be read later.

I then received this post from The Green Bough which included the quote “I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument while the song I came to sing remains unsung.” by Rabindranath Tagore.  (Hmmm, do you see a theme here?)  It was this post that got me to start waking up a bit, but I still wasn’t there yet.

I hadn’t quite gotten the full message until a few days later when I was having a conversation with one of my co-workers.  She mentioned she had decided to go back to school to be a pre-school teacher.  She had mentioned wanting to do something other than the work she was currently in and just saying she was going back to school caused her to overflow with excitement.  I was so happy for her.  I congratulated her and told her how I wish I could move forward with my dreams, primarily the life coaching dream.  That is when she said, “You just gotta take the flying leap!”

The idea of a flying leap sounded freeing.  It sounded exciting.  It sounded like throwing my procrastination to the wind and finding another way for it to all work out.  But how???  From the time I decided I wanted to be a life coach the logical step was to get training.  In order to get training the logical step is to save for the training…you get the picture.  It was then I realized I have far more power and knowledge than I am giving myself credit for.

From the time I graduated from college I have been talking to, encouraging, and inspiring co-workers and friends to follow their dreams.  I started this blog for that very reason.  I wanted to continue to inspire others through my journey.  And while I thought there was something specific that I needed to learn in order to help people, I realized, I have been doing it for years already.  So why not take my own flying leap and create my very own model of coaching and do what I love?

I couldn’t come up with a good reason not to, so I took the leap.  I am currently working on a coaching model that I will use in my business.  I am no longer waiting for the “right time” or for someday to come.  I am choosing today and I must say it feels great.  I am inspired and challenged, but most of all proud that I am taking control of my dreams.

One day soon, I can help you take control of yours too.  (That sounds so good!)

Acting On Inspired Thoughts

by

Recently I have been thinking about my list of dreams and wondering if I should actively be working toward them, or if I should be following my inspiration and see where it takes me.  I have often wondered which is better.  In the business/goal-oriented world, it seems setting a game plan is the best way to move forward while in the art world, leading through inspiration is best.  But what about a person like myself who is a blend of both?

I am learning that if I act on my inspired thoughts, the action feels good.  For instance, as a choreographer I found I did my best work when I was strongly inspired by the music.  I didn’t have to think too much about what I was going to do because I was so inspired, my dances created themselves.  The same thing goes for my writing.  When I feel like I am forcing myself to write about a particular topic, it doesn’t flow very well and I find myself struggling a bit.  This is exactly why I have yet to begin my children’s book.

When I initially had the thought to write a children’s series, I was so inspired and should have taken that time to write down all my ideas and words that were flowing.  And while I told myself I was going to set a date to start writing, it didn’t really work out that way.  I really want to start writing, but am not feeling the passion and fire at the moment, so I suppose it is best for me to wait and allow the fire to come back.

While I tend to believe less in a world of extremes and believe it is best to take a more balanced approach to life, I am beginning to think that acting on inspired thoughts is the way to go.  Sure, I could set a writing schedule in order to get my book written or I could allow the inspiration to flow and act on it when the feeling is right.  Does that make me a lazy procrastinating writer?  I don’t think so, I think it means I am an inspiration driven writer amongst other things.

I have tried to make my vision of being a life coach come to fruition in various ways.  I tried setting a plan to get certain funds in place, to find the right program, etc., but those options haven’t really worked out thus far.  So, I am taking a step back a bit.  I am trusting that if I keep my vision clear about what I want, follow my intuition and inspiration, the pieces will fall into place the way they should.  Instead of working to make things happen, I am flowing with inspired thoughts.  Is it the right thing to do in all areas of my life?  Maybe not.  But, as for where I am right now, it is the right move.

What is the right move for you?  Do you set a plan and execute it accordingly or do you fly by the seat of your pants a bit?  Let me know what works for you!

Training The Happy

by

I began my day today noticing various aspects about the world, my son, and myself that put a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart.  My son is turning 3 this weekend and I am so grateful that he is healthy, vibrant, and quite the entertainer.  Life is good, I am loved, healthy, and in a good place.  It seemed that nothing could ruin my mood today and it was quite lovely.  Until…

Well that’s the thing, there wasn’t anything in particular that happened to dull the vibrant happy I was feeling, it just sort of wore off a bit.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t fall to the other end of the emotional spectrum and feel upset, angry, or sad.  I just wasn’t on the same cloud I was on earlier in the morning.  It got me wondering what happened and how can I get that feeling back?

Just before the happy seemed to fade I had written a poem/greeting card about happiness and the words spoke to me so much that I think I had my answer before the question was formed in my mind.  I realized the idea of “happiness” for many people (me included) stems primarily from a future point in time.  The good feeling comes with thinking of what is coming down the pike or what we are looking forward to.  I know I have always had a tendency to look into the future for the best things to come and incidentally I miss the good stuff that is all around me.  Not only that, but the good stuff around me doesn’t seem to compare to the future event that I have created in my mind.  And yet when that moment comes, I may feel happy it is here, but it is only momentarily until I am waiting for the next future moment to be happy about.

As I was pondering this thought, I realized the importance of not only being happy in the moment, but training the happy.

What is that?

Training the happy simply means doing things in the moment that remind you of the good stuff here and now.  Seeing the beauty around you and being grateful for it.  Finding the positive aspects of life in each and every situation.  Sure it may seem difficult at first, but the more you practice it, the more you train yourself to be happy now, the easier it is to let go of the idea that you will be happy when…whatever happens.  You can be happy now, you just have to train yourself to see the good.

So, as my jovial feeling was dulling, I began thinking of the things that make me happy and I wrote some of them down.  My son’s smile.  His laughter.  The silly things he says and how happy he is to see me when he gets home.  The fact that we found the cake he wanted for his birthday after thinking it wasn’t available.  The sunshine.

I then found my happy factor increasing and the positive thoughts multiplying in my head.  One thought led to another etc.  And while it may seem amazing in the moment, it’s no rocket science.  The process is simple.  Think of what makes you feel good and keep that going.  Sooner or later you will find yourself looking for the good feelings on a regular basis and your happy mood will be the new normal for right now.  And when the future moment comes that knocks your happy socks off, you will savor it fully in the moment and the next because you know there are many happy moments to be celebrated.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling less than joyful, use it as an opportunity to train your happy.  In fact don’t wait for that moment.  Start right now!  Make a list of 20 positive aspects about you, your life, your surroundings, your job, your spouse, etc., and watch your happy factor multiply.

What else do you do to increase your happy?

 

Meditation Challenge: Update

by

I would love to be able to begin this post with a celebration for Day #83 of my consecutive 100 day mediation challenge, however I cannot.  I not only missed one day somewhere in the first 50 days of meditation, but this past weekend I missed about 3 more.  (Insert disappointed face here.)

While there is a part of me that is slightly disappointed that I missed so many days in a row, a larger part of me is proud for only missing a total of 4 days in the 83 that I have been practicing.  I recognize that to be a mighty accomplishment for myself.  Especially since I wanted to start a meditation practice for many years and could never stick to it.  Now I know I can and despite my disappointment for missing so many days, I have learned a great deal about myself and my practice.

I have learned:

  • The type of meditation I do depends on my mood.  Sometimes I like guided meditations, while other times I do my own to music or in complete silence.  None of them is the right way or better than the other.  I simply listen to what I need in the moment and proceed with what feels right for me.
  • The ideal amount of time for me on a daily basis is about 15-20 minutes in one sitting and it feels really great to do a morning and evening meditation.
  • My patience for the ups and downs of everyday life is much better when I have meditated on that particular day and I feel a more calm sense of peace after I meditate.
  • I am definitely more optimistic and positive in the moment and spend much less time focusing on what hasn’t yet materialized in my future.  It is true that meditation is a mindful practice for the moment, at least for me.
  • Meditation has become a habit for me, not just a ritual or a challenge.  It is a habit I have wanted to create for many years, but never thought I had the time or the focus to do it, and now I have.

With that said I realize missing 4 days of meditating is not the end of the world and while I may not have made it to the 100 consecutive days of meditating like I wanted in the beginning, I have learned a lot in the process not only about meditation in general, but how it applies to my life and my practice.

I have also decided to begin a new 100 day meditation challenge (officially starting April 1st for ease of calculating days), but this time the motivation for the challenge is to simply reap the benefits of meditation on a daily basis while reaching (and surpassing) my goal of 100 days.  Much like healthy eating and exercising, meditation is a daily practice meant to be a lifestyle change, not something you do only when you feel frazzled.  So with that ultimate purpose in mind I will begin again.

Not meeting a goal doesn’t automatically mean failure, sometimes it is just a reminder to take a moment to reset and begin again.

What are you hitting the “reset” button for today?