Lamisha Serf-Walls

Making Peace With Your Starting Point

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peace

Have you ever had the experience of being in a situation, job, relationship, or circumstance that you simply wanted to get out of?  Maybe you wanted it to move in another direction or you wanted to have a different outcome.  Simply put, you were in one place, but you desperately wanted to be in another without knowing how to get there.

I think we all have had that experience.  I know I have had that many times especially when it came to my job.  At one point (not too long ago) I was working for a company that was ok, but I couldn’t get over how demeaning, mean, and completely unfair my boss was.  My daily focus was how much I wanted to leave that place and yet no matter how many resumes I sent out I couldn’t seem to land another job.  At one point my focus for what I wanted next was so diminished I would have taken anything just to leave the toxic environment I was working in.  Unfortunately I couldn’t just quit with nothing else lined up so I stayed.

I was on the job hunt for over a year all the while I woke up each morning with anxiety and dread as I made my way into work.  I couldn’t get over how uncomfortable the place was.  Then one day something happened.  I stopped looking for another job.  I don’t know if it was out of pure frustration or because I had accepted my fate, but I stopped.  I decided to find something to do in addition to my work there that would make me happy.

That thing was writing.

I began writing greeting cards and dabbled with some freelance work that I have continued 3 years later and I am so happy I did.  Not only was I more inspired to write, but I had somehow made peace with where I was.  Not too long after that point my horrific boss (though she was nice as a person) left the company.

Poof! One day she was gone.  I thought that was the absolute best thing that could happen, but it gets better.

A few months later I received a call from a former co-worker with a potential job offer.  A job I hadn’t even been looking for!  A job that turned out to be more money than I was making and would allow me to work from home.  I had always toyed with the idea of working from home, but I had no idea how that would be possible.  Not only that, but it turned out to be the perfect scenario since my partner and I knew we would be moving in the next few months out-of-state.  I knew if I didn’t have a job lined up I would have to stay behind to keep my job and now I didn’t have to do that at all.  My job moved with me!

It turned out to be the perfect situation and in it I learned a very valuable lesson.

When you make peace with your starting point, the Universe can work on your behalf to bring things to you that will move you toward your heart’s desire no matter how big it seems. 

The moral of this story is this…

Stop struggling with where you are now for it is just your starting point.  Make peace with it and find some way to appreciate and enjoy where you are now.  When you do, you will be amazed at the opportunities that unfold before your very eyes.  Opportunities you may never have thought possible.

Visualization: A Tool For Manifestating Your Dreams

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visualize

When it comes to living the life of our dreams most of us ideally know exactly what we want.  We have said on more than one occasion, “If only _____ would happen, then I could finally be happy!”, but how many of us really know what we want?  Sure we may have a general idea of the life we want to live…money, partnership, love, and happiness, but thing is those things are different for each of us.  My version of the life of my dreams won’t necessarily match yours and vice versa.

So how can we figure out what that life looks like?

One way is to use visualization.  When was the last time you took a few minutes to visualize the ideal situation?  Maybe you have a big meeting coming up that you want to go really well or an appointment that you want a certain outcome?  Have you ever thought of visualizing it before it happens?

My guess is that many of us tend to use visualization in a much less productive way.  For instance I know some people (myself included) that have the tendency to visualize the worst possible outcome as a way of convincing themselves that if the worst happens, it’s not so bad.  They are often times met with a similar situation and may think to themselves, “See, it happened and I was prepared.” But is that what it really means?  Couldn’t it also mean that you put out the vibe for negative situation to occur?  Maybe.  So what if you did the exact opposite?

Let’s say you have a situation coming up that you would traditionally worry about, maybe you are selling your house, moving to a new location, or starting a new business.  The logical part of you says to plan, plan, plan for the worst case scenario.  So, you begin thinking of all the things that could go wrong and the ways you could combat it.  Maybe you save some extra money, find alternative places to live, or start looking for a part-time gig as you venture down the logical road.  But what if instead of thinking through all the terrible things that could happen, you begin thinking of how you would like it to unfold.

For instance, if you are selling your house you could imagine putting it on the market for the exact amount of money you wish to sell it for and within 2 weeks have a contract.  If you want to take it a step further, you might imagine what type of person or family would enjoy living in your house.  Or if you are planning on moving to a new area, think of the ideal situation.  Do you want to rent or buy?  What type of area would you ideally like to live in?  Can you see it, feel it, and experience it in your mind’s eye?

The key is to stop worrying and fretting about what might go wrong or what the worst case scenario is because chances are the more you focus on the worst case, the more likely it will come true.

About 7 years ago I was moving out-of-state without having a job already lined up.  I had never done something like this before and while I had a little bit of money saved, I didn’t have enough to last me for a long time, so I needed to find a job rather quickly.  When asked what my plan was my answer was always the same…”I’ll look when I get there, but worst case scenario if I can’t find something I’ll just get a job at Starbucks or something.”  A few months went by and my thinking remained the same and I still had no job and was losing faith in myself.  The first job I got while living in the new city was…you guessed it, working at Starbucks!

The process works the same way if you can visualize the ideal situation.  Before my partner and I moved to where we live now, we had planned on using our previous home as a rental property.  We made all of our arrangements prior to leaving and all the while we kept thinking that the ideal situation would be to have someone sign a lease shortly after we left.  We didn’t have a lot of worry or concern about the situation because we had so much going on with the move and coordinating the purchase of our new home and found out within 2 days of leaving that we had a renter for our home.  Our ideal situation was playing out before our eyes and we were so grateful!

The point is this…

If you have a choice to worry about a situation or to visualize the ideal, why waste your energy thinking of what disaster may come?  Why not make the best of it and think of the most amazing and beautiful outcome possible?

The same thing applies to your dreams…

Instead of thinking of all the ways you can fail or thinking of the most logical path to your dreams, think of the ideal situation.  Feel the excitement and inspiration for your ideal situation and watch as your dreams begin to manifest before your eyes, sometimes in ways you never imagined could happen.

Use the power of your imagination for good and the next time you find yourself worrying over the worst case scenario of a situation, turn it around and visualize the ideal.

Still not convinced it works?  Experiment with it and see what happens for you.  I promise you won’t be disappointed as long as you believe it can come true.

Beta Isn’t So Bad…

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Perfect

When it comes to doing things we are passionate about, many of us strive for optimal perfection.  We work, analyze, plan, and strategically lay out the action steps and pieces that need to come together for our vision to be just right.  As it begins to take shape we may notice areas that need more work, attention, and focus only to find our vision of perfection is always slightly out of reach.  There is always something else that can be added, tweaked, and changed to make it better and if you are like me, you may find yourself pondering how to make it better or frozen as you wait for the perfect idea to make it well, perfect.

I found myself in the perfectionist conundrum over the last few weeks as I began over thinking the necessary pieces that need to fall into place in order to have the perfect launch for my business.  In my mind I had to have what many other coaches offered on their websites in order to do it the right way and to be successful and while I knew that comparing my business vision with others was a sure-fire way to lose my confidence, I still felt like certain pieces had to be just right before I could move forward.

I realized I was very wrong.

As I was reading this weekend, I stumbled across an idea that was exactly what I needed to read at that moment.  In a book called The Gift of Adversity by Norman E. Rosenthal, M.D., I read a chapter that focused on the idea of perfection.  According to Rosenthal, most things don’t have to be perfect to do what you want them to do.  For instance, many companies will knowingly release a product that still has some bugs to be worked out as long as the bugs don’t compromise the integrity of the product known as a beta version.  The beta version is somewhat of a tester that can be improved along the way.  That is why we have so many versions of apps, phones, and computers.  No matter what product you have purchased it is likely a work in progress since developers are always working on the next best thing.

You may be asking yourself how this applies to your dreams and my business vision.

Well, here’s how I see it.  My business (and ultimately your dreams, goals, and aspirations) are always in transition.  Life is nothing but a constant change of events and circumstances, so nothing ever remains the same.  With that said, as I create my business intentions, services, and products I now realize whatever I create will not be what I offer for the entire life of my business.  Just as I will continue to evolve as a person, so will my ideas, creations, and my business.

So, if what I begin with isn’t exactly perfect, that’s ok.  I am sure there will be some mistakes and lessons along the way, but I will also learn a lot as my business progresses and I will likely learn many lessons I couldn’t learn if I wasn’t simply taking the leap.  In fact, I have always been far better at on the job training that pre-training with the expectation that I just know it all.  So, why should this be any different?

It shouldn’t.

I would venture a guess you too have struggled with your own progression toward your dreams/goals because you feel not ready enough.  Maybe you feel like you need more classes, more training, more knowledge, or more life experience.  Well I am here to tell you that’s not true.  You will learn far more by moving toward your goals than you will sitting back and planning them.  If you are inspired to do something, do it whether it feels perfect or not.

Beta versions aren’t all that bad, because when you think about it, aren’t we all just beta versions growing, learning, and evolving all the time?

 

Dreamer Highlight: Mike Dooley: Founder of TUT (Totally Unique Thoughts)

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Happy Monday!  Let me begin by apologizing for my disappearing act at the end of last week.  Things got a little crazy with family in town and a short trip this weekend, but I am back on track this week with another Dreamer Highlight.

I first heard about TUT when someone mentioned “A Note From The Universe” which at the time was a very profound and inspiration quote.  I of course had to check it out for myself.  Turns out the notes are delivered daily to your inbox when you sign up here.

Notes like the one below appear in my inbox every week day and I have to say they are a great way to begin the day.

 

Have you noticed, Lamisha, how lacking clarity is clarity itself?

How, if you aren’t sure about something, that alone, has meaning?

Honor uncertainty. It’s the womb from which all-knowingness comes.

Clearly,
The Universe

But, that’s not all there is to TUT, to check out all the wonderfully inspiring articles, interviews, and so much more, check out their website here.

Instead of focusing on the actual website, I want to talk a little bit about Mike Dooley, the dreamer.  I am including him in this week’s Dreamer Highlight post not because of his corporate business experience and success, but because of the faith he had in himself and the Universe to achieve a life full of passion, purpose, and vision.

What he did:  After working in accounting and traveling the world, Mike moved to FL to be closer to family and to achieve a new dream.  He wanted to start his own company, but wasn’t sure what type of company he wanted to create.  After a few months he joined efforts with his mother and brother to create TUT (Totally Unique T-shirts) that displayed various quotes and sayings on them and after selling over one million t-shirts he moved to something greater.  He decided to share his knowledge and experience in creating the life of his dreams in his first audio program “Infinite Possibilities:  The Art of Living Your Dreams”.  Since then, he has gone on to speak in front of large and small audiences, written several books, and been featured in the movie The Secret to share his knowledge far and wide and to help others find the power within to live the life of their dreams.

How he did it:  Mike Dooley started with a vision.  An intentional purpose to better understand the world and to be able to share that information with others.  All he had to do to make it happen was listen to his intuition and act on it when the time was right.  The truth is, Mike knew that he had the ability to do whatever he wanted and that as long as his intentions were lined up and he allowed his dreams to take shape, his dreams would come true.  (To read more about Mike’s journey check out his about page here.)

One of the things I love about Mike’s story is that he is proof that you don’t have to just have one dream, you can have many.  Once you achieve one, you build your confidence to be able to move onto something bigger.  Something greater than you ever imagined.  Life is meant to be savored, enjoyed, and experienced and once we realize the power we all have (you included) to create the life of your dreams, the possibilities are endless.

So, what are you waiting for, start now.

Line Up And Watch It Unfold

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I have reached an epiphany of sorts.  Actually I have reached this epiphany several times in my life about various things and yet each time it seems new.  It doesn’t mean that I am a slow learner necessarily, but it does mean that I am always learning new things.  Lucky for me I am an avid student in the classroom of life looking to absorb whatever enlightening information I can.  I also love sharing that knowledge with others, hence me taking on a coaching/writer/teacher role in many areas of my life.

The grand epiphany is this…

Set the intention, line up with it, and watch it unfold.

Before you actually do anything you have a thought.  You think about what you want to do or many times you have an emotional reaction that causes the thought to take form.  For instance, you may realize you really don’t like the job you are in.  You have an emotional response to the job which leads to thoughts of what you can do about it, which later leads to action.

Thought is also used to set an intention.  In the above example the intention would be to leave the unhappy job to find one that is better.  Easy enough right?

But then what???

You have to line yourself up with your intention and this doesn’t necessarily mean line up with it through action.  I have found inspired action is the best way to move forward toward our goals and dreams.  It seems to be the path of least resistance in some ways and feels better overall.  However, if you are like me (a bit of a controller), you may find yourself losing patience with the next inspired step as you try to force it to happen.  I have found that generally doesn’t work and if it does work, it makes it seem very difficult.

Lining up with your intention means to put yourself in a space that allows you to be inspired both physically and energetically.  It may involve you meditation, doing yoga, or writing.  It might also involve you making a conscious choice about who you spend your time with.  You may decide a certain person or group of people bring you out of your positive alignment and can become the voice of your Dream Crusher.  If this is the case, find others that will uplift and inspire you.  If you don’t know anyone, spending time alone can also create the space you need for Divine Inspiration to move you.  Some other ideas may include visualizing your intention, practicing positive affirmations, reading inspiring books, listening to inspirational music, or getting creative.  The key is to keep your focus positive and to protect your intention as much as you can.

As you begin to line up with your intentions in a positive way, you will likely experience some amazing synchronicity and your intention will begin to take shape almost effortlessly as you follow your inspired thoughts.  For instance, in the job scenario I described above, you might get a call from a friend seemingly out of the blue telling you about a new job that you are the perfect fit for.  You may find yourself “stumbling” across articles, people, and other resources that lead you to the very next step in your journey and you weren’t actively looking for it.  I like to call these inspirational nuggets.  They are the little crumbs that effortlessly lead you along your path and when you continually line up with your intentions, you begin to realize your dreams can and will unfold perfectly.

This grand idea of letting go and lining up with your intentions is not new news.  It should be common knowledge, however I often find myself wanting to move things along much faster and in doing so, I create more frustration than I need.  When I consistently get out of my own way by lining up with what I want, things unfold almost magically.  And while I have seen evidence of this time and time again, I am almost certain there will be other situations where I find myself re-learning this lesson.

I would love to hear how you allow yourself to line up with your intentions.  What do you do to allow things to unfold naturally?  Please share in the comments below.