Lamisha Serf-Walls

When OTHER Things Come First…

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I have been working on this post for quite a while now and it seems the more I wait to post it, the more inspiration I have to do so.

In working with a client a few weeks ago, we had a conversation about why our dreams take the backseat to more pressing things.  I realized in that moment I too had been putting off many things that would progress my dreams for one reason or another and then it hit me.

Even when we have the inspiration to dive head first into creating the life of our dreams, LIFE still happens.

There are deadlines, work stuff, family stuff, and in general other stuff that seems so much more important in the moment.  Those things take our attention, focus, and energy and leave little for us to use for the things that truly matter to us.  The things we are meant to do and truly love doing.

It puts us in a quandary of sorts.busy

We make excuses as to why we can’t get started on our book or do research for our business.  We make a laundry list of reasons why we simply don’t have the time or the money to give to that thing that we really want and need to.  Laundry, cleaning the house, fixing the car, going to work, taking the kids to soccer, basketball, and ballet all come first.  We argue with ourselves about how selfish it is to think that we should take time away from our children, our jobs, our spouses, our responsibilities to do what we want to do, but is it really a selfish act?

We have to ask ourselves if following our hearts and making room for the things that bring us joy is selfish.  Is it really?  Maybe in the world we are living in it is and what an unhappy place that is.  A place that makes us feel bad for doing something we enjoy and presses upon us the need to serve others and make other people happy while sacrificing our own.

Before I head down a rabbit hole of how terrible the world can be, let me stop and say that I don’t believe our choice lies between selfish and selfless living.  Nor is it a question of doing one thing over the other.  I suggest a compromise.  A meeting and melding of two worlds that creates a necessary balance between selfish and selfless acts.  A space where needs are met and dreams are lived.

Are you with me?

What I propose is simple.  So simple you may even wonder why you didn’t implement it long ago.  That simple step is this.

Instead of diving into your day checking off items on your to-do list and rushing to and fro, why not set a sacred space for your dream?

Call it the Dream Hour or Selfish Session or something a bit more personal ( and catchy).  It doesn’t matter what you call it, what matters is what you do with that time.

Set a specific amount of time each day at the beginning of your day to give to your dream.  You don’t have to operate using lists and an agenda either.  Simply show up for a set amount of time and commit that time to making progress on your dream.  If it’s writing, then write or read what you have written.  Are you a singer?  Then sing your song or listen to inspiring artists.

Make your dreams, your purpose, your passions a priority in your life, otherwise they will always end up being an afterthought in your long, busy day.  

Your dreams deserve the space to thrive, so what difference does 30-60 minutes a day make when you are creating a life that you love?  If you are like many, you might even spend more time than that on social media sites.

Don’t wait for the New Year to get started either, start today.  I promise you won’t be sorry you did.

Inspiration Round-Up

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It has been awhile since my last Inspiration Round-up and I am long overdue especially with so many awesome and inspiring things I have run into recently. So, sit back, relax and enjoy a bit of inspiration on the house!

Articles of Interest:

  • If you want to know what it’s like behind the scenes of a highly successful entrepreneur/life coach, check out Michelle Ward’s post that gives readers the inside scoop on what a typical week looks like for her. It seriously made me re-evaluate how I balance my days between day-job and midnight-hustle.
  • Are you putting a particular project off more and more each day, knowing you really need to get busy on it?  Check out how Jess Lively made her pending project first priority each day.  Such a simple practice that really works. (I even implemented it myself!)
  • Wanna feel better about where you are in your dream journey/business/path to fulfillment?  Rebecca Tracey shares how she got started in her business and how lowering her expectations actually caused an increase in her courage and ability to pursue what was right for her.  It’s incredibly inspiring and if at times you feel like you have no idea what is going on, it will make you feel better I promise. 

Books to blow your mind:

  • I just started reading Inspired & Unstoppable by Tama Kieves and with each new chapter she manages to tap into my heart and soul a little deeper.  Her quotes have me thinking “Yes!!!” and I’m only a few chapters in.  If you are buying yourself a gift this season, do yourself a favor and get this book.  I can already tell this is going to be a life/business/game-changer for me and will be a book I read again (and I NEVER read books more than once). 
  • I am also hoping that Santa will deliver a book that has gotten rave reviews by many business/personal development peeps on the interwebs.  I haven’t received it yet, but I am looking forward to reading The War of Art and Turning Pro.  I sure hope Santa is reading my blog. 🙂

2014 Planning Tools:

  • I personally cannot wait to get my hands on Leonie Dawson’s 2014 Create Your Amazing Year book and planner. I have seen all kinds of rave reviews about her planners in the past and this is the first year it is available for hard copy ordering.  If you are into pretty pages with awesome illustrations to spark your inspiration and creativity I encourage you to pick one up.

I hope you found the above items super inspiring and helpful as you move into planning your new year.  I also want you to know that I am filling my calendar with as many FREE 60-minute coaching sessions as I can in order to do a bit of research on my client base as well as provide a little gift to anyone interested.  With that said if you would like to sign up for a free session to chat about anything and everything you might need help with…i.e. planning for 2014, working on a current challenge, getting out of cubicle hell, a current life transition, please contact me at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com .  I am looking to reach out to as many people as possible and am even willing to take this giving season into January.  It’s free, it’s fun, and it’s fabulous so don’t miss out!

Where’s Your Doodle Space?

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I am so happy to be back on the blog today after a much-needed and much enjoyed few days off.  In fact, just before taking a few days off for Thanksgiving, I had a discussion with my life coach about just how important it is to create space in order to relax, regroup, and allow the thoughts, ideas, and inspiration to flow.  My coach called this space my “margin”.  You know like the margins on a piece of paper.

Being a visual learner it seemed like a perfect analogy for what I was not doing very well.  Instead of allowing myself extra space to fill in with fun thoughts, ideas, and doodles, I have been writing on every single, teeny, tiny space that is provided.  And then after I have tired myself out with all the extra “stuff”, I find myself annoyed, tired, and frustrated that I am having a hard time filling it in with doodles.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/linderesa/7925910376/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/linderesa/7925910376/

Why can’t I write, doodle, and create beautiful things??? Umm, maybe it’s because I was filling my space with a bunch of filler stuff that just made me feel (momentarily) like I had completed some monumental task…(ahem-laundry?).  The truth is that while I felt for a moment like I had accomplished a great deal, I wasn’t allowing myself to have fun.  I wasn’t being playful or allowing myself to relax.  So, what better time to relax than when family is in town for a holiday?

I decided that during my Thanksgiving time off I was not going to worry about work, writing, or anything else that I felt needed to be done.  I was going to allow myself the time and space to just enjoy the time off.  Simply put-it was awesome!!!

Did I come up with some magical ideas to take my business to another level or come up with an amazing book idea?  Nope. I just enjoyed time with my family, watched a few holiday movies (which I LOVE), and I read a bit.  I slept, ate, and enjoyed life.  In fact, most of my 4 days off was my “margin” time and it was incredible.

And you want to hear something funny?  I tell my clients to do the exact same thing, yet as a coach it can be difficult to remember.

It’s easy to set an intention and go-go-go until it is done, but that can often lead to a quick burn-out.  Instead of living your dream like it’s a sprint, enjoy the marathon.  It’s not about how quickly you get this done, because you will only come up with something else to accomplish next.  Instead of focusing on the end result, focus on enjoying the path and watching it unfold.  If that means making space for your doodles and allowing yourself the time to be playful and fun, do it!  I promise you will feel happier, healthier, and more inspired than ever before and you might even move closer to your dreams in new and exciting ways.

Today I encourage you to put down your to-do list, turn off your phone, log out of your email, and follow your heart to create a bit of doodle space.  I assure you it is well worth your time, even if you find yourself just relaxing outdoors or reading a good book.  Allow your intuition to guide you as to how to fill it in and if you can, implement a bit of room in your schedule for magical surprises to pop up…ya never know when a new one will appear. 🙂
photo credit: Linderesa via photopin cc

Authenticity and Intuition

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Everyone who sets out on a new path into a future that is unknown experiences bouts of fear, insecurity, excitement, and a variety of other feelings that come with the territory.  It’s normal.  It’s expected and it’s sometimes necessary to learn extremely important lessons.  Do you know how I know this?  Because I have had to learn some pretty big lessons in authenticity and intuition.

You see, when you start something new you might look around to others for their help and expertise in various decisions and choices you are making.  Being a newbie in whatever field you are in, it is often suggested to have a mentor to provide guidance and insight into what you are doing.  It’s also great to have a second eye on new projects or things that you are working on in order to help you grow your skill set.  It doesn’t matter what your dream might be, but if it’s new, there will likely be some growing pains along the way.

But, what happens when you begin outsourcing decisions and opinions to a degree that you lose faith in your own ability to choose what is right and wrong for you?  What happens when you lose the little bit of confidence you had to begin with?

What happens is you lose the connection with your intuition and your authentic self, which can be detrimental to dream and your wavering confidence.

But wait a minute Lamisha, didn’t you say that it’s okay to ask for help and assistance when we are reaching for our dreams and that we don’t have to do it alone???

Yes I did say that and I still stand by that statement, BUT it is also important to stay true to who you are and to stay connected to your intuition.  Advice, insight, and assistance are all fine and good, but when it doesn’t feel right and goes against who you are, take note.  Whatever the suggestion is might not be what is right for you in that moment.

I don’t expect my clients (or myself for that matter) to know everything there is to know in order to accomplish their dreams, but I encourage them to listen to their intuition and use it as guidance for the choices they make.  Does that mean that if a suggestion is scary they don’t do it?

Not necessarily.  It can take some work to learn to differentiate between fear and intuition, but once you figure it out, you can begin feeling your way to the future life of your dreams.

It also doesn’t mean you won’t ever have to experience challenging lessons along the way.  Sometimes our intuition will lead us to exactly what we need to learn and experience, so take it as a gift and a lesson.

I guess what I am saying is to trust yourself.  Believe in your dream and trust that the path will light up for you and the steps, advice, inspiration, and action steps on your path will come when they are meant to.  If it just doesn’t feel right and you feel like you are creating someone else’s idea of your dream, then that’s not for you.  Take a step back and remember what your dream is and set the intention on being open to the steps that will keep your dream authentic for you. We all have experienced those “gut feelings” now and again, so tap into your intuition and I assure you it won’t lead you astray.

Your Dream Is Ready…Are You?

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Many times in coaching, I come across people who might need my help, but they just aren’t ready to take action.  Some of them have absolutely no clue about what they want to achieve and are merely moving from one day to the next trying to survive (and not just financially either).  These people are going through their days doing the things they are “supposed” to do (ya know working, paying bills, taking care of their family etc.) and while they feel like something might be missing, they have done very little to figure out what that is.  They might be fearful of what is waiting on the other side or simply have forgotten what it feels like to dream again.  These are the people who do such a magnificent job living in the moment for what it has to offer, while not thinking too far ahead.

Then there are the dreamers, the visionaries, and the self-development seekers.  These are the people who are always working toward something.  They have an idea of what they want but may not know how to get there.  They are excited for what the future may hold, but they are stuck in fear, anxiety, or lack the confidence to move forward.  These are also people who feel that something is missing and are ready to find out what that is.  They dream, they envision, they imagine, and more often than not they have stars in their eyes for that moment when they finally feel like they are living their purpose and enjoying the journey of growth and evolution.

image from www.searchquotes.com
image from www.searchquotes.com

Both of these groups are stuck in one form or another, but the latter group feels the pull to move forward into the unknown.  They are willing to risk leaving their comfort zone in order to see what else is out there.  They are ready for that first step and many times that first step begins when they reach out to me to find out how this coaching thing works.  Their interest was sparked just enough to make them wonder and imagine what they can accomplish with a little help.

Have you ever thought about what category you fall into?  Both groups have their strengths and regardless of where you may fall, you too have a wealth of potential that you can use in this life.

The question is, when you feel that pull and you wonder what might be missing…are you willing to take the steps to figure it out?

Here is what I have learned since taking the leap of faith into my dreams.

  • If you feel like you were meant to do something more than what you are currently doing…you are probably right.
  • Taking the leap is far more exciting than scary
  • All it takes is a simple, tiny step to get the momentum rolling
  • Once you are on the path, the pull gets stronger and the inspiration that follows will remind you to just keep going

Will you take that step?  Are you ready to drop the excuses, let go of the fear, and dive into your heart’s desire?  If so, I would love to chat with you.  I am still offering a free full-length 60-minute session to get a jump-start on 2014.  Not only is this an amazing opportunity to make progress on your plans for 2014, but it is also a great way for you to see what it is like to work with me with no obligation on your part other than an open mind.  Sign-up by contacting me here and we can get your session scheduled ASAP.  Seriously, what do you have to lose???