Lamisha Serf-Walls

You’ll Know It When You Feel It

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I had a moment today when my inspiration came flooding back.  I guess it wasn’t gone entirely, but over the last 2 weeks or so, I have felt my inspiration dwindle more and more while I found doubt creeping in much more than usual.  I knew it would come back, I just wasn’t sure when or how.

Today it did.

The last few weeks the momentum in my business and writing has slowed a bit, and while I wasn’t immediately concerned, I have found myself playing the “what if” game in a negative way.  Instead of thinking, “oh, what if I found the perfect job to replace the new job”, I found myself saying “what if I can’t find anything before December?”.

Not a fun game to play.

But today, when I followed up with a client for our call tomorrow, my inspiration and passion returned.  She was giving me an update on what has been going on over the last week and her update was overflowing with inspiration, excitement, energy, and passion that she passed that along to me.

I remembered in an instant why I do what I do and how good it feels to watch a client grow and evolve.  I read the email and smiled not only because of the success of a wonderfully talented client/writer/wordsmith/storyteller, but because in that moment my heart opened and the doubt began to melt away.

My inspiration is back and running rampant.

Sometimes you don’t have to know where or how or when, the important thing is that you will know it when you feel it.

What is the “it” I am referring to?  It can be your inspiration, your next step, your dream job, or anything else you are wanting “it” to be.

Trust your intuition because you will know it when you feel it and boy does it feel good!

How The Coach Coaches Herself

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inspirationOne of the things I love about my entrepreneurial journey is my ability to share my lessons, inspirations, and insights on my blog.  Even when I have moments of doubt or when I am feeling frustrated about how things are unfolding, I am glad that I am able to share my experience with you.  It not only helps you to know that we all go through rough times, but also helps me become a better coach in the process.

Lately I have felt a bit like a firefighter, constantly responding to what is going on around me and taking care of things without really being intentional about life in general.  That lack of intentionality goes against a lot of what I believe in, yet in the past few weeks it seems I have had to put out a lot of urgent fires in order to make it through each day.  Whether it is with my day job, home life, or family, I have been far more reaction oriented rather than intention oriented.  I am finding this is not only feeding my anxiety about the future, but also leaves me wondering how to best find balance.

I have written a lot about accepting ‘what is’ in the current situation and not fighting it and I still believe that is important, but I can’t help but wonder how we can balance it all?  How can we remain open and present in this very moment, while still setting our intentions for the future?  How can we loosely plan for our future while still being open to what happens to come our way?

I guess all the questions come at a time when my future is a bit foggy and I fight between two extremes of surrendering to ‘what is’ and falling on faith or jumping into action mode to make things happen.  I know that having faith in what is happening and leading with my inspirational foot is really best.  And as a coach, I know I am simply allowing normal doubt to creep into my otherwise positive thoughts and they will pass as long as I don’t hang on to them for too long.

So, if I had a client in my exact shoes what would I tell her?

Well, I would encourage her to take a step back and breathe without making any decisions one way or another.  This helps us gain some perspective on the “issue” and can often result in nudges from our intuition that leads us to the next step.  Sometimes when we are so close to a situation, we allow our limited view to send us into a tailspin of unnecessary worry.  Sometimes we just need to press the reset button and allow ourselves a chance to regroup.

Message received coach!

Instead of trying to fit my future into a container of reality, I am going to be like the bird in my logo.  Free-flying and open to the endless possibilities that are out there.  I know that by taking a step back and regrouping a little bit things will become clear again.  The momentum will pick up again, and things will fall into place.  Until that happens, I am going to do what I tell my clients.

“Do things that feel good and feed your soul.  Allow yourself some time to just have fun and once you take the stress off a little bit, the inspirational nuggets will return and things will get moving again.  Just be easy, this is all part of the journey.”

Thanks Coach!  🙂

Lessons Learned In: The Faces Of Opportunity and Being Open

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I am coming out of my cranky fog and realizing I learned some pretty hefty lessons this week.  While it wasn’t the most progress-oriented week I have ever had, it is certainly one heavy in life lessons.

Lesson: Opportunities come with many faces, the key is accepting them even when they are in disguise. fall apart

After learning that my current full-time gig would be coming to an end at the end of this year, I recently heard that many other employees were given their pink slip with only 2 weeks to spare.  This shocking news puts a lot of people in some seemingly tough situations as they plan for what is to come.  Some are worrying about how they will pay the bills and take care of their families (understandably so), but I can’t help but see this as an opportunity to move into something better.  In fact, one of my coworkers is thinking of following a passion she has had for many years, to which I responded “YES, Do that!!”  As the saying goes, when one door closes another one opens and I believe that 100%.  It seems we are moving into a time when doing what we are “supposed” to do is not only uninspiring and boring, but it isn’t what we are meant to do.

Opportunities are popping up in some fun, exciting, sometimes shocking ways to get your attention, so listen up!  See the opportunity and be grateful that you have an opportunity to do something different.  And should you find yourself in a similar lay-off position, by golly take it as a blessing and a sign to move onward and upward.  The unknown can be scary, but it is also exciting to know that something better is coming only you get to decide what that is!  So watch as the faces of opportunities appear around you and respond accordingly by following your inspiration.  And don’t forget what I wrote yesterday…don’t borrow trouble!

Lesson: Be open to negative emotions and feelings and they will easily float on by.  Fight them and they hang on for dear life.

This lesson came full force yesterday in the midst of my gray cloud of confusion.  I had this icky feeling I couldn’t pinpoint and I wanted nothing more than to move on from the down feeling it was leaving me with.  Only when I stopped fighting it and stopped trying to rationalize it was I able to be open to it fully.  I didn’t try to change it or soothe it, I simply allowed it to be and an amazing thing happened.  It quickly began to loosen its grip on my mood and as the sun set, I was feeling better.

The next time you feel an icky, less than ideal feeling and you can’t quite figure it out, try being open to it instead of fighting it.  The more you fight, the more power you give to the mood/negativity that you are trying to avoid and by allowing it to flow through you, you create a path for it to float peacefully away.

What lessons have you learned this week?

I hope you have a lovely weekend and as always thank you for reading!

 

Don’t Borrow Trouble

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The last two days have been interesting.  I have found myself in the weirdest of moods and somehow my inspiration has fallen by the wayside.  I can’t quite put my finger on what has changed in the last two days, but I do know that it will pass.

We all have these moments don’t we?  Times when things aren’t “bad” or “good” and instead they hang somewhere in the space between two extremes and just feel “meh”.  It is part of the ebb and flow of life and while I tried many ways get out of this mood none of them worked.  So, after trying everything in my be-happy-arsenal, I just let it be.

I stopped trying to fight the inevitable feeling of blah and accepted it for what it is…a pause in action, momentum, and a chance to just be.  Does that sound too hippp-dippy for you?  Think of it as a break.  A break from whatever it is I needed a break from…sometimes even we don’t know what that is.letitbe

While I would like to say I am so good at simply being, I’m not.  I tend to fight the feeling especially when I am in moods like these.  A feeling that is hard to name and almost impossible to find the source of.  Yet, being the overachiever, I can do anything, go-getter that I tend to be…I had to know.

So, I began thinking about all the many reasons I could feel like this.  Is it the weather? Job frustrations? Personal issues? Worry about the future? Stress?  No matter what reason I gave it, none of them felt right and then I had to ask myself…

Why am I borrowing trouble?

I first heard this term from a co-worker a few years ago and if you don’t know what borrowing trouble is, it is worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet and creating undue stress, frustration, and anything else that is not needed in the moment.  That is exactly what I was doing.

Somehow I thought that if I could name it or find the source, then it would cease to exist.  That if only I could figure it out and wrestle it to the ground, I could somehow solve the mystery and get back to my bubbly, inspired self, and move forward with all the good stuff on my path.

I was wrong.

So, I settled with the feeling and decided to let it hang around for a bit, hoping that it would slowly dissipate.  Lucky for me it is working.  I am beginning to feel a bit better and hope that with some additional rest, listening to my body, and just being, I will be back to my regular self again soon.  In the meantime, I am remembering a very important lesson about not borrowing trouble and I want to pass it along to you.

When you find yourself worrying about something that is not in this very moment, you are borrowing trouble.  When you are wondering how something is going to happen and trying to think of all the ways it can go wrong, you are borrowing trouble.  When you are trying desperately to figure something out instead of allowing it to be what it is and letting go a little bit, you have the potential to be borrowing trouble.  And when you are feeling a feeling that you can’t quite figure out instead of listening to what it is telling you, you may be borrowing trouble.

There is enough “trouble” in the world without us looking for it, so why not take some time to just be in the moment and learn whatever lesson it is here to teach us, knowing that it will soon pass.

The good news about these moments and moods is that it helps us remember who we want to be, how we want to feel, and creates a sense of gratitude for the good stuff.  So, if you find yourself in a similar situation remember, don’t go borrowing trouble and in the words of Abraham Hicks, “hang on it will be over soon.”

Identifying Your Gift

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Last week I wrote a post about finding your gift, embracing it, and sharing it with the world and I wanted to go a little deeper into those three pieces.

I have come across many people in the world who don’t believe they have much to give in this world and are honestly blind to the wonderful gifts they have and use everyday.  Sure, they have interests and hobbies, but nothing they deem is of value to the world.

If you are one of those people, know that you DO have a gift to share and if you aren’t sure how to find it, read on.

While traditional society can make a big deal about doctors, lawyers, famous musicians, and artists, the truth is most of us don’t fall into any of those categories.  In fact, each gift we have, even if it is similar to someone else, is unique to us because of our life experiences.  No two singers, actors, dancers, writers, editors, boat-makers, professional golfers, or anyone else has the same experience to share with the world.  Each perspective is unique and beautiful and adds amazing value to the world because no matter how hard we try, we can’t all reach every single person with our gifts.

So how do you find what your gift might be?Gift

  • Think about what you do naturally.  What comes easy to you?  What are you known for in your social circles?  Maybe it’s communicating, organizing, styling, fixing things, etc.  It doesn’t have to be one single thing.  It can (and is likely to) be many things.
  • Think about what you enjoy doing.  Many times our thing is something we love to do.  For me, it is inspiring, writing, and helping people get unstuck along with many other things I enjoy doing.  What is it for you?
  • Ask around.  See what your parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, and employers say about you.  Many times other people can see your gifts much more clearly than we can because of our perspective and sometimes the lack of confidence that comes with it.
  • Get rid of the “shoulds”.  Far too often we have an idea of what we “should” be doing in life.  “I should do something more professional, worthwhile, more important” etc.  Let go of what others believe you should become and think of who you are.  Who do you want to become?

My last bit of advice is to be easy about it all.  The joy of life is that we can pick and choose and revamp and edit our lives as we see fit.  If one thing doesn’t feel right, we can try something else.  If we make a mistake, no biggie, we can try and try again.  Don’t allow these exercises to be so big and scary that you find yourself intimidated.  Just go with the flow and see where your thoughts take you.

Also, remember that as human beings we grow, change, and evolve, so the passion you had two years ago may not be the same.  You may also find you have many things you enjoy doing, but to different degrees.  For instance, I was once a part-time choreographer/dance coach for competitive high school teams.  It is something that is near and dear to my heart and while I am not doing much with that particular gift at the moment, that doesn’t mean I will never tap into it again.  I am simply allowing another part of myself shine and that is totally ok.

Take some time to answer the questions above and feel free to share in the comments section.  I would love to know what gifts you discover!