Lamisha Serf-Walls

The Importance of Owning Your Dream

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How many of you have had a dream, but you wouldn’t dare share it with anyone else for fear they may laugh or dismiss the possibility of it coming to fruition.  Maybe you have some doubts about making your dream a reality and would just as much forget the whole thing altogether.

Many of us have been there before as we wonder if we can really live the life of our dreams.  We think about it very timidly because we don’t want to get our hopes up too much and be disappointed in the long run, but in order for your dreams to become reality, you have to own them.

Why?

Because by simply setting your intention and focus on that which you desire, you automatically begin flowing energy toward it. 

It is almost like setting a specific goal.  Say you want to run a marathon and it has been something you have thought about for a while, but never really declared to yourself that you would do it.  Instead of beginning your training, this idea is nothing more than a whim that comes and goes without much energy or inspiration behind it.

But, when you say I intend to run a marathon, it becomes more real.  And the more you focus on it, the more you think about it.  The more you think about it, the more inspirational nuggets you find along your journey that will lead you to completing the marathon.

Dreams are the same way.  You have to own them and make them real to yourself.  Instead of saying “I would love to writ a book, eventually…”, declare it.  Set the intention that you will do it.  That doesn’t mean shouting it from the rooftops and sharing your dream with any person that will listen.  That can actually cause your dream to fizzle out before your fire get’s going.  (More on that in a later post.)

Declare your dream.  Visualize it.  Feel it.  See it.  Imagine it.  Feel the amazing delicious energy that stems from it and milk that feeling for as long as it lasts.

Well all have dreams, but if we don’t own up to them, they are nothing more than passing thought that may never come to be.  Take the first step and declare that you will achieve the life of your dreams.  Only you have the power to make that happen, so why not start now?

My Flying Leap!

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I love when I get messages from the Universe that catch my eye and provide a bit of meaning to my current situation…that is when I take notice.  Sometimes I don’t realize the meaning or impact of a quote, statement, or article until I look back, often kicking myself for not noticing it before.  But, as I am learning, everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t know what that is.

Looking back over the last few weeks I noticed I had an eery feeling of discontent upon waking almost everyday.  I didn’t have any particular worries on my mind and I couldn’t quite pinpoint the source.  I would meditate, write in my journal, and compile my gratitude list to help combat this feeling, but I was never really able to get rid of it entirely.  I have also been reading a lot.  Books, quotes, articles, other blogs, and newsletters all with a similar theme.  They became what I like to call “inspirational nuggets”, and while I really enjoyed the information, it didn’t really click.  At least not right away.

The first post was from the When I Grow Up Coach website.  It was about how Michelle Ward’s husband decided to quit his day job to venture into the freelance world.  It’s a really great post and you can read more about it here.  I read it and thought, “Gee I can’t wait to be able to do that.  Of course I will have to do x, y, z first and then…”

The second post was a post from Tiffany Han that discussed achieving your dreams Someday vs Right Now.  In my head my life coaching business has always been a someday kind of thing.  Sure I want to do it and I know that it is what I am meant to do, but there are so many things I should do first…or at least that is what I kept telling myself.  When I read this post, I was thought..”Sounds good but…” and I left it in my inbox to be read later.

I then received this post from The Green Bough which included the quote “I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument while the song I came to sing remains unsung.” by Rabindranath Tagore.  (Hmmm, do you see a theme here?)  It was this post that got me to start waking up a bit, but I still wasn’t there yet.

I hadn’t quite gotten the full message until a few days later when I was having a conversation with one of my co-workers.  She mentioned she had decided to go back to school to be a pre-school teacher.  She had mentioned wanting to do something other than the work she was currently in and just saying she was going back to school caused her to overflow with excitement.  I was so happy for her.  I congratulated her and told her how I wish I could move forward with my dreams, primarily the life coaching dream.  That is when she said, “You just gotta take the flying leap!”

The idea of a flying leap sounded freeing.  It sounded exciting.  It sounded like throwing my procrastination to the wind and finding another way for it to all work out.  But how???  From the time I decided I wanted to be a life coach the logical step was to get training.  In order to get training the logical step is to save for the training…you get the picture.  It was then I realized I have far more power and knowledge than I am giving myself credit for.

From the time I graduated from college I have been talking to, encouraging, and inspiring co-workers and friends to follow their dreams.  I started this blog for that very reason.  I wanted to continue to inspire others through my journey.  And while I thought there was something specific that I needed to learn in order to help people, I realized, I have been doing it for years already.  So why not take my own flying leap and create my very own model of coaching and do what I love?

I couldn’t come up with a good reason not to, so I took the leap.  I am currently working on a coaching model that I will use in my business.  I am no longer waiting for the “right time” or for someday to come.  I am choosing today and I must say it feels great.  I am inspired and challenged, but most of all proud that I am taking control of my dreams.

One day soon, I can help you take control of yours too.  (That sounds so good!)

Milking The (Happy) Moments

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I have been spending a lot of time in the last few weeks thinking about happiness and the components that make for a happy life.  I have also thought about the unique experiences we all have of what “happiness” means for us.  For some it may be a day full of productive activities while others view it as time spent with family, friends and what I have found is that happiness truly depends on one person alone and that is YOU.

We live in a society that often places emphasis on particular possessions, qualities, and other various things with the assumption that if only we had them we would finally be happy.  The flaw in this thought is that no matter what you have or how much money you have, happiness is not something you reach and maintain forever more.  The truth is that life happens and we have ups and downs.  We have good times and not so good times that are less than what we believe to be as “happy” and we find ourselves blaming circumstances or people for our change in how happy we are.  I am realizing that my happiness depends on me and it is something that not only takes practice, but it requires a certain amount of presence in order to maintain it.

For much of my life I wanted a life that would bring me love, a career with a purpose, and family and I thought once I had those things I would live “happily ever after”.  How many of us have wanted a life similar to that right? Some look for their knight on a white horse, while others are searching for a pile of money to take all their worries away.

I am guilty of that way of thinking too.  I have spent a good portion of my life looking toward a future event thinking that if only that happened then I would be happy only to find it didn’t exactly work out that way.  I am learning each and every day to not only live in the moment, but to milk the happy moments as much as possible.

Take this weekend for instance.  I had quite possibly one of the best weekends in a very long time.  We celebrated our son’s 3rd birthday with his friends at daycare, had a fun party for him, and enjoyed Easter festivities as a family.  My son laughed, smiled, and played all weekend while intermittently yelling “Birthday!” and singing “Happy Birthday” to himself.  The weather was perfect and I couldn’t have been more grateful.  I realized that while it was a special weekend for us, there was a lesson to be learned.

During one of the slower moments this weekend, I took our dogs out for a little walk and found myself looking at the world from a different view.  The clouds were gorgeous, the trees were swaying in the perfect breeze, and the sun was warm on my face.  I was at peace.  Complete and total peace.  For this moment, I didn’t have a care in the world.  My list of never ending “to do’s” didn’t exist and worries about work, finances, or whatever else we worry about on a day to day basis disappeared.  All I had in that moment was a full heart and an open and quiet mind.  I was living a moment of gratitude.  I gave a quiet thank you to the Universe for the moment, my son, and the beautiful weather we were having.  I admired my surroundings and took a deep breath and as I was moving back toward our house it hit me.  Every time we are feeling happy, joyful, grateful, loving, etc. we should take a moment to be fully in that moment.  Feel it with our entire being and milk it for what it’s worth.

I could have rushed to take the dogs for a walk without being aware of my beautiful surroundings.  I could have simply focused on what was next on our agenda in order to get it done, but then I would have not only missed this epiphany, but also an incredible connection to my happiness.  If I had skimmed over the moment as we sometimes do, I would have likely been so caught up in the activities we had scheduled that I would have missed a wonderful opportunity to give thanks, be grateful, and fully in tune with the moment.

This weekend changed my thoughts on happiness.  Not only do I truly understand the importance of being responsible for our own happiness, but I also value the importance of milking the happy moments for what they are.  For if we are constantly rushing from one moment to the next without truly experiencing what this moment has to offer us, we are going to allow our lives (happiness and all) to slip through our fingers.  And let’s face it, life is about living, loving, and learning on our journey, it is not a race to see who can make it to the end first.

If you don’t do so regularly, I challenge you to be more mindful of your happy moments this week and sit with those feelings for a while.  Milk your happy moments for all they are worth.

Good Friday Gratitude

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I am playing a bit of catch-up and errand running on this Good Friday, but I wanted to make sure I made time for my gratitude post this week.

There is so much to be grateful for and as I make the final preparations for my son’s 3rd birthday party, I am so very grateful for the opportunity to be his mother.  This week I was really reminded in so many ways to be in the moment and enjoy ever millisecond with my son.  Time tends to move so quickly and in the blink of an eye your kids are all grown up and you wonder where all the time went.  So, I am becoming very mindful of the moments we share and letting whatever day-to-day worries fall by the wayside.

Spring is upon us and the sun is shining and I am looking forward to a marvelous weekend.  Birthday party, Easter celebration, and time spent with family is exactly what I need this weekend and everything else can wait until Monday.

I hope you enjoy your weekend and recognize and truly feel those precious moments you have with friends, family, and with yourself.  Take a deep breath and be grateful for the wonderful things that are in your present experience because no matter what worry, challenge, or difficulty you may have going on, there is always something to celebrate.

Training The Happy

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I began my day today noticing various aspects about the world, my son, and myself that put a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart.  My son is turning 3 this weekend and I am so grateful that he is healthy, vibrant, and quite the entertainer.  Life is good, I am loved, healthy, and in a good place.  It seemed that nothing could ruin my mood today and it was quite lovely.  Until…

Well that’s the thing, there wasn’t anything in particular that happened to dull the vibrant happy I was feeling, it just sort of wore off a bit.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t fall to the other end of the emotional spectrum and feel upset, angry, or sad.  I just wasn’t on the same cloud I was on earlier in the morning.  It got me wondering what happened and how can I get that feeling back?

Just before the happy seemed to fade I had written a poem/greeting card about happiness and the words spoke to me so much that I think I had my answer before the question was formed in my mind.  I realized the idea of “happiness” for many people (me included) stems primarily from a future point in time.  The good feeling comes with thinking of what is coming down the pike or what we are looking forward to.  I know I have always had a tendency to look into the future for the best things to come and incidentally I miss the good stuff that is all around me.  Not only that, but the good stuff around me doesn’t seem to compare to the future event that I have created in my mind.  And yet when that moment comes, I may feel happy it is here, but it is only momentarily until I am waiting for the next future moment to be happy about.

As I was pondering this thought, I realized the importance of not only being happy in the moment, but training the happy.

What is that?

Training the happy simply means doing things in the moment that remind you of the good stuff here and now.  Seeing the beauty around you and being grateful for it.  Finding the positive aspects of life in each and every situation.  Sure it may seem difficult at first, but the more you practice it, the more you train yourself to be happy now, the easier it is to let go of the idea that you will be happy when…whatever happens.  You can be happy now, you just have to train yourself to see the good.

So, as my jovial feeling was dulling, I began thinking of the things that make me happy and I wrote some of them down.  My son’s smile.  His laughter.  The silly things he says and how happy he is to see me when he gets home.  The fact that we found the cake he wanted for his birthday after thinking it wasn’t available.  The sunshine.

I then found my happy factor increasing and the positive thoughts multiplying in my head.  One thought led to another etc.  And while it may seem amazing in the moment, it’s no rocket science.  The process is simple.  Think of what makes you feel good and keep that going.  Sooner or later you will find yourself looking for the good feelings on a regular basis and your happy mood will be the new normal for right now.  And when the future moment comes that knocks your happy socks off, you will savor it fully in the moment and the next because you know there are many happy moments to be celebrated.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling less than joyful, use it as an opportunity to train your happy.  In fact don’t wait for that moment.  Start right now!  Make a list of 20 positive aspects about you, your life, your surroundings, your job, your spouse, etc., and watch your happy factor multiply.

What else do you do to increase your happy?