Lamisha Serf-Walls

My Monarch Messenger

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This past weekend as my partner was leaving to run some errands, she noticed we had a beautiful visitor just outside the front door.  A monarch butterfly had landed on our mums and decided to stay awhile, several hours to be exact.  Every once and awhile it would fly out to the front yard, around our tree and back again. When she showed me the picture she had taken, I was intrigued.

I have seen many butterflies recently on walks around our neighborhood.  I have seen all yellow ones, black ones, and even gorgeous black and yellow ones quite frequently, and every time I see a new one, I smile.  I am reminded of the transformation that takes place inside the cocoon in order for this gorgeous creature to emerge.  Since I have been seeing more and more butterflies recently, I have found it to be a confirmation of my own transformation taking place and a message that I am not alone on my journey. (Something I know to be true, but a little reminder every now and then doesn’t hurt.)

Though I have seen several butterflies recently there were two things that made this particular butterfly stand out to me.  One is that it was a monarch butterfly and in the year we have lived here, I have never seen a monarch butterfly, let alone have one visit us for such a long time.  The other thing that made this butterfly stand out to me is the length of time it stayed perched on our flowers, flying away every once in a while only to return to its original place.  I couldn’t help but think there was some sort of symbolism or message that we were supposed to get.  And since I know there are no such things as coincidences, I wanted to find out the message from our monarch.

Our weekend visitor

Here is what I found from www.zimbio.com.  “Monarchs bring the message of courage: have courage, walk with courage, make changes in courage.  This butterfly travels huge distances on their annual migration following the same route as many birds.  Humans do not have the courage, generally, to travel to unknown places with the conviction of faith that the Monarchs have.  That is the other part of the message-to have faith.  Monarchs realize that the world is not something they control, and yet they make this huge journey.  Humans feel the need to control everything-people, environment, weather, plants and animals.  The message is to let go and let the journey happen. (from Spirit Animals-the Monarch Butterfly-Missing August 29, 2008)

There are many lines in this seemingly small passage that speak to me, one of which is to walk and make changes with courage.  Change has the ability to excite and scare me all in the same breath, and while my journey forward isn’t always outlined and mapped out for me, courage is a necessity to keep moving forward.

Having faith is another part of the message that really resonated with me.  Despite not knowing what may come around the corner, we all must have faith that it will work out for us no matter what.  Sure maybe our journey didn’t take us the route we thought we should go, but in the end sometimes the route we didn’t think of is much better.  We must keep the faith that all will be revealed at the right time, and we will end up exactly where we should be, even if it isn’t where we thought we would end up.

This takes me to the idea of control.  This piece hit a chord with me more than I would like to admit.  I, like many people I am sure, have this desire to have as much control as possible over the outcomes of my dreams, job, and life in general.  The reality is, I can’t really control everything…though try as I might, it just doesn’t work.  So in order to succeed on any journey we are on in life, we must learn to “let go and let the journey happen”.  I love that so much.

Thank you my monarch messenger for such an amazing gift of your beauty, and the reminder to have courage and faith as I move toward my dreams and just when I feel frustration and resistance setting in, I will learn to let go and allow my journey to happen.

How do you let go and allow your journey to simply unfold?

Go with your gut

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As a creative soul I love trying new things and thinking outside the box, but one thing is for sure, decisions are not my forte.  In fact they make me tremble with anxiety for the most part, especially those large, potentially life changing decisions that as adults we often have to make.

A few years ago I was looking to get out of the job I was in and into a job that would allow me to actually utilize my Masters degree in Psychology.  The idea of helping young children find a forever home sounded wonderful and I was up for the challenge.  Unfortunately the pay that comes along with that challenge was not even in the ball park of what I needed to survive.  I was offered the position along with the measly salary that came with it.  I had a decision to make.  I could either keep the job I didn’t like with potential for a possible raise, or take a more challenging job for less money.

And so it began…

I made ample lists of pros vs cons, looked at my budget until my eyes crossed, and tried to make sense of my predicament. I agonized over it for about a week, hoping that someone, anyone would give me the right answer as to what I should do.  My partner (as lovely and kind as she is) told me she would support me in whatever decision I made.  That was not the answer I was looking for, albeit sweet and very supportive.

I wanted someone to make the tough choice for me, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen.

I didn’t have much time left when I finally made a decision.  I was not going to take the job that I thought I wanted/needed, and instead stay in my current position while negotiating an additional $4,000 a year.  Even though it seemed like the right choice, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would regret it later.  Looking back now I know I made the right decision.

So why did I doubt myself?

It comes down to trust.  Sometimes I don’t trust myself to make the right decisions and I have a fear of doing something I will regret.  I don’t want to look back and say, I should have taken path B instead of A or vice versa and feel terrible about it later.

I realize there aren’t necessarily right or wrong decisions in life as much as there are two (or more) paths that lead in one direction or another.  Each way may lead down a different road that will inevitably converge later down the line and the best thing you can do is go with your gut.

Trust your intuition, no matter what.

Whether you find yourself making a decision about finances, business, or in how you accomplish your dreams, the most important thing to do is to trust your intuition as it is your internal compass.

If you trust your intuition, you can never go wrong.

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I want to hear from you. Do you always listen to your intuition?  Can you tell the difference between your intuitive voice, and the voice of fear?

It’s just a phase

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Recently bedtime in my house has been anything but peaceful as my partner and I have struggled to get our 2-year-old to fall asleep in his own bed.  Our night-time routine begins just like every other night with a bath, story, and cuddles, and after the lights go out we spend the next 2-2 1/2 hours trying to coax our little one to sleep.  Each night I try to figure him out as I wonder if maybe he just isn’t tired or he napped too long that day and each night as I ask my partner (the logical one in our house) for a solution she reminds me as she has many times before..it’s just a phase.

That thought stuck with me tonight as I tried desperately to find the solution (again) to our bedtime challenge and as my mind wandered and I allowed the words to sink in, I realized we are all going through our own phases.

Our lives are composed of a chain of phases starting from the time we are born up through adulthood.  Some phases come and go, while others stick around for much longer and there are times when people tend to get stuck in one particular phase for the rest of their lives without growing into the next.

It’s all a part of life.

Many times in my life I have felt stuck, wanting so badly to move forward without knowing how or why.  I have been frustrated, confused, angry, and just plain worn out from the fight between where I am and where I want to be.  I have often felt like I was standing in one place as I watched my dreams float on by, wondering if I could ever get unstuck and catch up with them.  Looking back what was really happening is that I didn’t know I was going through a phase and while I’m not entirely sure what that particular phase was, I now know if I had embraced it as opposed to fighting it, I probably would have moved through it much faster than I actually did.

This year alone I have felt stuck more times than I care to count in regards to moving forward with my life coach training.  It felt that the resources and money just weren’t there, yet every avenue I attempted in order to create the income I needed were leaving me empty-handed and confused.  I began questioning my path and wondered if the Universe was simply leading me in a different direction.  When I listened to my heart, I found I wasn’t being lead in a different direction entirely.  Instead I realized there were a few other things I needed to do before I could continue on my path.

I realized that this is just a phase.  Just as my 2-year-old will learn to fall asleep on his own, I too will get the resources together to begin my life coach training and move into a new phase. Somehow just realizing it is a phase makes me feel better about it and allows me to feel less stuck.

You have probably gone through (or are going through) your own phases.  Maybe you too felt stuck in one place as you continued to fight your way forward toward something you wanted in your life and it has left you feeling confused, frustrated, and just plain tired.

The thing about phases is you don’t always know the name, or how long they will last, but if you go with the flow instead of fighting it, it just might pass by faster than you think.  Don’t allow a plateau in your growth to spoil your inspiration or motivation for achieving your dreams and most of all don’t question what you know in your heart you are meant to do.

Sometimes instead of saying not this, the Universe is simply saying not yet.  

What brings you joy?

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If money wasn’t an issue and you could do anything as your career or job, what would it be?

I have probably asked that question to 100 different people.  Sometimes I ask out of pure curiosity, while other times I am hoping to inspire.  Most of the people I ask are miserable at their current job and yet they feel as if they have no other choice.  It is easy to feel that way, especially in this economy where jobs are scarce and you feel lucky just to be working.  Typically the answers I get are thought of as hobbies or interests, but if you dig a little deeper they are things these individuals would do simply for the joy it brings them.

Once I get an answer to the first question, I follow-up with this.  Well why aren’t you doing that?  I generally get a laundry list of reasons why they can’t, won’t, don’t have the time/money/resources etc. to do the things that bring them joy.  It is at that moment I realize most people aren’t doing things that they love because they have grown to believe that it isn’t worthwhile.  Some believe doing something for the simple joy of it is a waste of time and might just be a little selfish.

I couldn’t disagree more.  I believe we are all meant to do the things that bring us joy and the more we do it, the happier we are.  So why do we believe that our happiness is wrong?

If someone asked me the same question I have asked so many (and believe me I have asked myself many times), I would say this: I want to help people find their joy and inspire, empower, and encourage them to do the things they didn’t think they could do.  I have done this in many ways throughout my life through coaching high school kids, encouraging my friends and co-workers, but I decided I wanted something more.  I am now choosing to allow my joy to become my career as a life coach, (in the not too distant future), and I can’t wait to go to “work” loving what I do every single day. (I will share more about how I decided that life coaching was for me in another post, stay tuned.)

I believe in doing things that bring us joy and happiness.  I believe in the magical essence of dreams fulfilled and wishes coming true, but most of all, I believe each one of us have the ability and opportunity to do the things make us happy, but like with everything else in life, it is a choice.  You make the choice to give yourself permission to be happy.  You make the choice to dream.  You make the choice to set an intention to do work you love and believe that the money and everything else that is needed will follow.  What do you choose?  A guaranteed mediocre future, or the unknown with more possibilities for happiness than you can even imagine?

With that said my question to you is this…If money wasn’t an issue and you could do anything as your career/job, what would it be and are you doing it?  Leave me a comment, I would love to know!

 

3rd times a charm

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Many of you probably do not know this, but this isn’t my first blog.  I have had two other blogs in the past that were not successful and didn’t last very long.  I will not bore you with the details or links because they weren’t very good.  The first blog was created on a whim, with little thought, no planning, and simply an urge to write.  The topic?  My dog.  As sweet and crazy as she can be sometimes, I soon realized there was only so much I could write about her, none of which was terribly exciting or helpful to the average reader.  My dog blog lasted all of a month, tops.
The second attempt was a little less than a year later.  The topic? Good stuff, inspirational quotes, musings etc.  This blog had a bit more vision, a lot more passion, but again not much planning.  With this blog I was able to write almost everyday, stay inspired, but something was missing.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it and so the good stuff blog retired.

You may be asking yourself why I would try yet again?  Well the truth is my passion to write and the desire to blog has never really left me.  I also had a desire to use my blog as a starting point for my bigger vision of being a life coach.  I thought this would be a wonderful platform to reach out to people who are interested in making their dreams reality and they would hopefully find some inspiration from me sharing my journey.  I knew that if I was going to start another blog, I had to set some serious intentions and stick with them.

What I did…

I took some time to brainstorm.  My first step was to define what I wanted to write about.  I didn’t want a topic so exclusive that I couldn’t branch out and utilize every morsel of my creativity, but I wanted it to be something uniquely my own.  I wanted my blog to evolve over time into something my coaching clients could read and enjoy as well.  Once I had that figured out I had to decide on a name.

Naming my blog was like naming a child…sort of.  I wanted something that was descriptive, unique, catchy and something that didn’t already exist on this particular platform.  I started a list and jotted names down as I thought of them, occasionally checking them out on WordPress to see if they were available.  Many of them didn’t resonate with me or give me the warm fuzzies, so I kept searching.  Finding just the right name was harder than I thought, but I was dedicated to waiting it out until I found the right one.  This process took many weeks, so many in fact I lost count.  Then it happened…last week.

The name came out of nowhere…literally.  I was on the phone at work and the words “Life Once Dreamt” popped into my head.  I knew that was the one and I knew I had to hurry and write it down or else it may be gone forever.  After quickly jotting it down I was lucky enough to find that it was available and it fit perfectly with a tag line I had written weeks ago (where dreams meet reality).  It was then that I knew that this time would be different.

Clearly a name is not all that defines a blog and I still have quite a bit of work ahead of me, but it’s a start.  And for me a very good one.  Not only did I learn from my previous experience, but I was also able to remain patient to allow the right name to come to me before making the same mistake again and potentially laying another poorly planned blog to rest.

So there you have it, one dream becoming reality right before your eyes.

I would love to hear about what dreams have materialized for you and how many tries it took.  Feel free to share!