Lamisha Serf-Walls

To Do or Not Do…That Is The Question

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Most goal setting techniques involve setting a list of steps and then acting on those steps one at a time.  It makes sense in some cases to do things that way, but that isn’t always the best method I am realizing.  Sometimes it is important to take some time away from “doing” and to allow your previous actions to take shape and to allow the Universe to work some magic.

I recently finished Marlise Karlin’s book The Power of Peace in You and in it she describes igniting the power of stillness and peace within and living from that space to discover a life better than you imagined.  You can read my full review here, but one quote I found that really hit me is one that discusses doing vs not doing as a way to accomplish your dreams.

“Often, the best thing to do is…nothing at all, allowing space for inspiration by leaving a void.  It is here, in this essential non-doing, where you release attachment to the outcome-that the miraculous emerges to show you a different pathway for getting where you want to go.  You can’t tap into the Energy field of inspired solutions or discover the unforeseen if you are always racing to get it done at all costs.” Marlise Karlin in The Power of Peace in You

This quote has proven to provide a profound shift in my thinking regarding attaining my goals and dreams.  I have since moved (albeit slowly) from a place of doing to a place of non-doing in some situations and while it has been somewhat uncomfortable there, I am learning that there is certainly some value in it.  The key for me is knowing when to do and not do.

I suppose like anything in life, this is a matter of balance.  Just like a farmer can’t continuously plant seeds in the same space over and over again and expect his crop to grow overnight, I must learn to be content with letting my own dream crop grow.  Sometimes that means allowing my ideas, creations, and thoughts to ferment before I do anything with them.   For instance, when I started this blog, I went through a long period of thinking, pondering, creating, and allowing the right name, niche, idea to come to me.  And when it finally did, there was no question as to whether I should act or not act.  Maybe that is the key.

Plant your seeds of imagination and plant as many as you come up with, but be patient as you allow them to take shape or die out because the ones that are meant to be will be.  When you provide the space of non-doing, you allow miracles to happen because let’s face it, if you are always trying to do, do, do, the Universe has no time to work on your behalf.  But, if you are like me, you might wonder what you are supposed to do in the time you are not working on your goals.  My answer (one I often need to remember myself)? Have fun.

When you are not actively working on your goals and you are providing a space for them to breathe and grow, do something fun.  Catch up on a hobby you have missed.  Read a good book, get outside in nature, have coffee with a friend.  Life is meant to be enjoyed and if you are working on your goals all the time, no matter how happy they make you, you are likely to burn out.

So what are you doing or not doing right now in regards to your dreams and life goals?

Taking My Own Advice With Tiny Steps or Big Leaps

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Have you ever found yourself giving advice to someone else and seeing the picture so clearly, only to realize the very advice you are giving is advice you can/should implement in your own life?  That happened to me today and while the advice was far from prophetic it hit me like a ton of bricks just a few hours ago…I should be listening to myself!

A co-worker had recently mentioned feeling stuck in life, wanting to change multiple areas of her life at once.  With so much to do it seemed overwhelming, yet the yearning, the need, and the desire to change each area was still there, but the time to do it all wasn’t.  In that moment the solution seemed so clear.  It was as if I was looking straight through a clear glass of water and the solution was on the other side staring back at me.  It was simple or so it seemed.

The first piece of advice is nothing we haven’t heard before.  When you feel overwhelmed, break the big stuff down into little pieces and do it one step at a time.  My particular advice was this.  Find something you can do each week no matter how small or insignificant it seems and do at least one thing each week that will move you closer to your dreams.  Set it on your calendar, make a date with yourself, schedule it in your phone if you have to.  It doesn’t matter how you do it, just do it.

Time seems to be a hot commodity in our world.  There never seems to be enough for what we want and need to do but if you are always looking for free time you won’t find it, you have to make time for things that are important.  Sometimes that means getting rid of other things, or moving things around a bit so they fit, but however you choose to do it, you must make the time.  Once you have set this date with yourself to work on your dreams/goals/aspirations etc. keep it.  The momentum will build one step at a time and you will find yourself inspired, motivated and full of passion to continue to make tiny steps or big leaps toward your dreams.

My second piece of advice was to be kind to yourself.  When it comes to goals and dreams, things rarely go exactly as planned and mistakes happen.  In fact they have to happen in order for us to learn.  So when you make a mistake or choose something over your weekly task, it’s ok.  See it, accept it, and do better next time.  You won’t get any closer to your dreams by rehashing your mistakes over and over again.  Know that wherever you are headed takes time and many lessons and accept the lessons with open arms.

Sound like good advice?  I thought it was.  🙂  A few hours later I was wondering how I will ever find the time to write this children’s book I want to work on this year and almost immediately my advice played back in my head.  “You have to make time for what you want…”

This time I am listening and whether my tasks each week are tiny steps or big leaps one thing is for sure, I am making moves to make my dreams my reality and that is what this journey is all about.

What will your tiny step be this week?

 

 

Keep Your Dreams Alive

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I can’t tell you how many people I have met in various areas of my life who have told me that in one way or another they had given up on their dream.  Some thought them to be unpractical, while others simply didn’t believe in themselves.  I once was a naysayer about my own abilities and struggle with it still from time to time.  When I set out to do something new my old self would immediately say “I can’t..”  I have learned to ignore that little feeling and move forward through the discomfort of change or growing, and I usually find that I could do it and that my old self was just giving me lip service.  But what about those people who have just gotten caught up in everyday life?

How do you keep your dreams alive?

I can’t tell you for certain how to do it, because I believe we are all very different beings.  Some of us respond to certain things, while others do not, but I can share with you how I do it.  Maybe you will find something that will be useful in your own dream resuscitation.

Visualize

I am one of the best day-dreamers around (ahem don’t tell my boss).  I often think of what it will look like to have my dream become reality.  I think about the type of clients I want to work with, how I want my schedule to be set up, what my business name might be, and even what my business card will look like.  I have fun with it.  I simply paint a mental picture of my dream.  And while I may not always feel the dream when I feel like things are moving slowly, visualizing the end result is usually enough to keep me moving in the right direction and best of all it keeps me believing not only that my dream can become reality, but it will.

Talk About It

Talk about your dreams with the people you care about.  Share what you want to accomplish with friends, family, co-workers even.  Those of you that know me personally have probably heard me talk about life coaching or writing a million times over and are probably tired of hearing about it already (though I hope not) and the best part about that is you all become my cheerleaders.  When you share something like this with people who love and care for you, they become part of your journey.  They are going to talk you off the ledge when you feel like quitting.  They are the ones that will say, “But you want nothing more than to ____”.  They are going to remind you why your dream is your dream to begin with, and they get that info from you!  Share your dreams so you can be reminded of them later.

Multiple Dreams

This one may not be so obvious, but it has been a really great way for me to stay excited about all of my aspirations.  I have a tendency to have laser focus when it comes to something I want to do.  Sounds great right?  Not exactly.  If things don’t go exactly as planned or certain parts of my journey become delayed, I can get pretty down about it.  My mind goes into over drive and the negative chatter takes over.  I seem to only notice what is not going well and it goes downhill from there.  But when I have a few dreams to focus on, I can flow between them and if one seems to be at a standstill for one reason or another, then I can easily change focus to work on something else.  This may not work for everyone as some people prefer to do one thing at a time, but it seems to work for me.

Dream Board

Dream or vision boards are a visual representation of what you want to create.  It can be a collage of words, quotes, pictures, or items that remind you of what you are trying to accomplish.  I created a dream board for 2012 and when I looked back at it, I found that many of the items came to fruition.  I am still planning (read procrastinating) on making a dream board for 2013, however I am still envisioning what I want to accomplish this year.  Keeping to my theme this year, I am trying to be open and flow with life as much as possible, so I want to create my board in a way that allows me to do that.  Once my board is complete, I will hang it in my office where I can see it everyday.  I may not look at all of the items on it everyday, but seeing the board everyday will certainly keep my dreams in the forefront of my mind and keep me excited for what is to come.

So those are the ways I am keeping my dreams alive.  How do you do it?

Dreams, Goals, and Bucket List Items

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This evening I took some time to review my list of dreams located on my blog as I wanted to see what still fit and what didn’t.  I also planned on adding a few items that I have been thinking about for a few weeks, and I realized something.  The items I listed on my “Dreams” page weren’t all dreams.  In face I found they fit into one of three categories; Dreams, Goals, or Bucket List Items.  I had never really thought about the difference myself, but tonight I was struck by the various “dreams” I had listed, and realized that each had a different feel to me.  So what is the difference?

Dreams

For me dreams come from a place of passion and desire.  There is a spark and a constant inspiration to achieve these items. For me personally my dreams invoke a sense of service to others in an attempt to touch lives and to inspire, motivate, and create positive change, both with my clients and in the world as a whole.  These are the things I don’t go a day without thinking about.  They are the things you can find me talking about to anyone that will listen.  And though they may take longer to achieve, the fire is still burning bright.  They are things I need to do and in some cases are the very things I feel called to do.  My life purpose if you will.

Goals

Goals on the other hand are more checkpoints or markers on my journey.  These are things that aren’t a necessity in my soul, but are more of an accomplishment.  You might even say these are ego driven in how specific they may be. At some point I may have a goal that sets a specific number of clients in a month or amount of money I want to bring in from writing each month.  My goals are things I want to accomplish and are things I strive for, but they are not things I think about daily.

Bucket List Items

My bucket list items are simply that.  Things I want to do or experience to enhance the fun and adventure in my life.  Things I want to try that I have never tried, places I want to visit etc.  They are things that would enhance my experience in this life and are likely to teach me lessons along the way, but are purely for the experience.

Each of these categories of things, accomplishments, and intentions are slightly different from the other, but they are all areas that are important to me.  And though I may not complete all of the items on every list this year, I am sure that by simply having the list, I will accomplish more than I would otherwise.

Please visit my updated list here, and feel free to share your own dreams, goals, or bucket list items.  I would love to hear about them!

How I’m Building My Life Coaching Dream

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In my last post I talked about my current midnight hustle and how my life coach training may have to be put on hold longer than I originally had planned, however I wanted to give you a little bit of insight into how I am keeping my focus strong on my dream of inspiring and changing lives through coaching.

I decided just before starting this blog, that I wanted to do something now that would  not only support my journey to becoming a life coach, but also keep me inspired, motivated, and focused on my vision.  Since I am very much a do-er, I wanted something that I could do besides sit and daydream about “one day when”.  Over time the list of things I am doing to prepare for my business has grown and I am delighted to share them with you in hopes that you find a bit of inspiration to take action on part of your dreams, even if you have to wait for other pieces to fall into place.

So far here is what I am doing to prepare, plan, and focus on my business:

Research -When I first realized I wanted to be a life coach, I had no idea where to begin, so naturally I enlisted the help of the internet and did as much research as possible.  I wanted to see how other coaches had gotten started, where they studied, and what they were doing.  I even spent some time interviewing people who were in the coaching business.  This piece has been essential and while I did most of my research in the very beginning, I still do a bit here and there as I begin thinking about what I want my business to look like.

Blog – As my excitement grew, I felt like I had to do more than just read about coaching.  I realized I was already coaching friends, family, and co-workers in one way or another, so why not use my writing to reach out and inspire others?  After many months of intentionally planning the focus for my blog, in October 2012 I started writing.  I decided my blog would eventually turn into a portion of my business page and what better way to launch a business than to have readers to launch it to?

Brainstorm – This seems like a no-brainer, but I have spent some time over the last year simply writing down ideas, thoughts, possible business names, and things I would like to offer within my coaching.  In fact, I have a notebook dedicated to my business ideas and the best part about it is I just let my creativity flow.  I don’t limit anything that I write or judge it as good or bad, I simply brainstorm.  Who knows what it might turn into?

Collect Information – A few months ago I started a folder in my email entitled “Business”.  In it I collect newsletters, blogs, advice, and other information that I receive from various websites I subscribe to and my intuition tells me this is going to be very beneficial later.  Much of the advice may not apply to me right now, but it is something I can use in the future.  For instance the last one I received today was from Jess Lively in her “Wish I Knew Wednesday” post about dealing with worry and doubt as it applies to business.  I highly recommend being added to her newsletter if you are thinking of starting or have your own business and want some advice from someone who has been running her own business since she was 15.  And since I didn’t study business in college and am a newbie to being my own boss one day, I will take all the advice I can get.

Learning– One other item I am doing a little bit of is studying other coaches and their methods as well as gaining valuable insight from a free training program a dear friend sent me.  I love learning and the more information and knowledge I have before I actually launch my business, the more confidant I will be.  So I am taking full advantage of any information I stumble upon that may add to my training (even before training), or my business knowledge.

Allowing – I had to add this tidbit of info because while it seems that I am actively planning and building my dream, that isn’t exactly the case.  I am simply allowing things to unfold organically.  Conversations lead to research and research leads to books with tons of information etc.  I am keeping an open mind and following the flow of life.  I know in due time my dream will become real

So in a nutshell that is how I am planning for my business that I have yet to create.  My vision is growing more realistic, vibrant, and exciting everyday and I can’t wait for the day I get to experience it.  The truth is it’s far more than a vision, this is my dream on a journey to becoming reality.