Lamisha Serf-Walls

Letting Go Of The “How”

by

Yesterday I set the date for action on writing my first children’s book.  I was excited, a little anxious, but mostly excited.  The words were forming in my head and if it weren’t for my day job, I would have immediately grabbed a pen and paper and started writing.  One of you wonderful readers called me brave for setting the date and I hadn’t even written one word yet.  I was feeling far beyond optimistic.  I had decided my dream would come true and nothing was going to stop me until….

I started wondering (more like worrying) about the “how”.  How am I going to get this writing contract by the end of the year when I didn’t know the first thing about getting a book published?  Do I need an agent or can I just send my proposal and manuscript on my own?  Where do I find the right publishers?  How long will it take?

The questions just wouldn’t stop and as I started researching the “how”, I became frozen in fear.  There were so many websites saying how hard it is to get a book published let alone a children’s book, and how long the process takes.  The rejections will come flying in or you won’t hear anything at all.  As I read all I kept feeling was my dream slowly deflating.  I wish I could say I was easily able to brush it off and find my positive place again, but I can’t.  Instead I fell into a fog of disappointment and fear that carried over to this morning.

I woke up feeling uneasy, overwhelmed, and just off.  I couldn’t put my finger on it but as soon as I began writing this post the fog began to lift.  I then remembered this…I don’t have to know the “how” right this second.  I don’t have to figure it all out right now.  If I can float on my excitement and creativity and keep my dream alive, the Universe will conspire to help me.  With a positive attitude I will be led to the path that is right for me and while so many naysayers (online at least) have stated the difficult road that lies ahead, I am choosing to believe it doesn’t have to be that way.  Just as easily as so many other pieces in my life have fallen into place, this will too one way or another.

I don’t have to know the “how” in order to believe it is possible.  In fact, no knowing the “how” makes it that much more exciting.

Resolutions Revisited

by

I have to say I can’t believe March is here already.  It seems like not too long ago I was thinking, dreaming, and intending my year ahead full of wonder, magic, and awe.  Ah how quickly the newness subsides and everyday life takes over.  Laundry, work, bills, and life all go on and sometimes our dreams, goals, and resolutions fall quickly to the background.  I suppose that is why many resolutions fall by the wayside never to come about again until next year…that is unless you revisit them.

Last Friday it hit me that we are now entering the third month of the year and my excitement for 2013 had dropped dramatically.  So much that I wasn’t thinking of my dreams all that often and my passion was waning too.  The realization that I was no longer as excited for what is to come as I was in January really got me thinking.  How could I let all of that excitement and fire just fizzle out?  Where did it go?  More importantly, how do I get it back?

I don’t know if there is a set formula to finding your fire again, but this is what I have come up with so far.

  • Remember your resolutions/dreams/intentions.  Revisit the goals you wrote down, the things you told your friends you wanted to do, but most of all FEEL them.  Feel the fire, passion, and desire you had when you set them.  Revisit your resolutions and make friends with them again.
  • Know that each month (and each day) is new and you can recreate the newness whenever you want.  Maybe at the beginning of each month you want to set a mini celebration for what you accomplished the month before and look forward to what is coming in the next month.  Maybe you wan to journal about all the gooey goodness that you had in the month before while setting your intentions for the month ahead.  Whatever you do remember every day, week, and month provides a new start.
  • Bring back the magic.  When the clock struck 12, you were likely filled with a sense of wonder and magic for what was waiting for you in the coming year.  I can’t tell you how many times I heard or read “2013 is my year” only to find that thought is forgotten a few weeks later.  Bring that magical feeling back to life.  Read inspirational quotes, stories, and blogs.  Find someone you admire and ask them what they do to keep the magic and wonder alive.  Embrace positivity and allow it to fill you up each and everyday.  Sounds corny, but it works.

I hope the steps above help you to breathe life into your resolutions and goals and you enjoy not only the things you planned for, but also the delicious surprises that await you.

Now it’s your turn.  What do you do to keep your resolutions alive?  Let me know!

Celebrating A Day Of (Self) Love

by

image

I couldn’t let this holiday pass without a post about love.  I am one of the biggest saps you will ever meet.  I cry at the drop of a hat, tear up during touching commercials, and I absolutely love romance and all that it entails.  And even though this day has become about giving gifts and cards etc. I still love it.  (I am a greeting card writer after all so it behooves me to be a bit sentimental.)

With that said I want to touch on something that doesn’t get talked about much, especially around this time of year and that is self-love.

All too often many of the greatest givers (myself included) have a tendency to forget or in some cases avoid all together the idea of loving ourselves.  It has been seen by some to be a narcissistic way of living if we tend to our own needs or recognize the gifts we truly have.  It has been all too common to downplay our strengths and focus on our weaknesses all while giving to and doing for others.  Sometimes we see that our needs aren’t as important as the needs of our child, partner, employer, or family and we disconnect entirely from what we want and need in order to give back to ourselves.  It is the lack of balance in loving another and loving ourselves that can cause frustration, fatigue, and resentment.

Is self-love a selfish act?  In my opinion it is not.  It is a necessity in order to effectively love another.  I know this because it has been a struggle of my own, one of which I have been working on for a while now and is one I believe we could all do a little more of.  Please don’t confuse self-love with boasting, narcissism, and the ego because it is far from that.

To me, self-love is accepting all of your being for who you are flaws and all and loving the person you were, the person you are, and who you have yet to become.  It’s not an easy task to do, but as we peel back the layers of ourselves and let them fall away, we uncover our truest selves…human beings full of love, inspiration, power, strength, and beauty.

How does this apply to accomplishing your dreams and goals?  I believe the more we love ourselves and accept ourselves for who we truly are, we view our dreams and goals in a new light.  Instead of not feeling good enough or worthy enough of our amazing gifts, we accept them graciously as they manifest.  So, today I ask you to take a moment and remind yourself that you are worthy of all of the goodness the Universe can give you, but first you must believe you are.

With that I will leave you with an inspirational quote I found.  May you always know you are worthy of your dreams.

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day!

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
― C. JoyBell C.

 

Meditation Challenge Update: Day 44

by

Today is day 44 of my 100 day meditation challenge and I have a confession to make.  I missed one day entirely.  I don’t know how I did it, or where my mind was, but I missed it completely.  I didn’t even realize something was wrong until the next day.  And even though the challenge is to do 100 consecutive days of meditation, I am not giving up.  I will continue my meditation not only for the challenge, but also because of the many benefits I am feeling because of it.

So far here is what I have noticed:

  • I am much calmer throughout my day
  • I am feeling more centered and balanced (though I could use more of each)
  • I go with the flow much more after my meditation
  • I am breathing through daily challenges
  • I feel less stressed

I noticed something else about my meditation practice today and that is what time of day is best for me to meditation. The first several days I was sort of fitting it in whenever I could.  During my work days it seemed logical to do it before work as a nice transition into the day, but after today I now know that meditating before the workday begins is optimal for me.

I had a few errands I wanted to run this morning before work and instead of meditating before going out, I thought I could work it in before work.  As you can imagine time got away from me and I made it back in just enough time to get clocked in.  I realized I had to squeeze my meditation in later.  The mere idea of “squeezing” it in made me a little stressed and on edge.  I managed to take some time during my lunch to get it done, however at that point it was much more difficult to become relaxed.

I also noticed my workday before meditating was simply off kilter.  I felt scattered and had difficulty focusing on what I needed to accomplish and now I know meditating in the morning is best for me.  Not only that but I think it is time for me to increase my meditation time.  Currently I have worked up to about 15 mins and I want to extend that within the next 30 days to around 20 mins or more.  I look forward to sharing the differences I experience with an extended morning practice.

I am also open to any suggestions you may have from your own meditation practice.  What works for you?

Profound Inspiration On Authenticity

by

The world we live in can often times make us feel like we have to play a specific role in order to “fit in”.  For misfits like myself it can become a tireless task to be accepted by all groups and to attempt to be like everyone else when deep down we know, we are just us.  Many of us are taught from a young age to merely exist and blend in with those around us.  Sure we want to be successful but at what cost?  The cost of our individuality?

There are many things that connect us as human beings, but a vast number of things that make us unique as well and those things are what make this life experience so amazing. (In my humble opinion.)  The fact that we all have our own experiences, opinions, decisions, and choices in this life make it the huge melting pot that it is, yet many people can’t seem to understand that “different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad”.  And so, many of us strive to live the lives we think we should when really our authentic selves are waiting to come to the surface.  For some it can take an entire lifetime of working hard to fit in, only to realize they were really meant to stand out and follow their heart’s desires all along.  Others realize it much sooner, but still live half of their lives ignoring and denying who they truly are on the inside.

These last few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking about authentic living.  I have had times in my life where I felt like I needed to fit in and have since begun what feels like a huge transition into living truly and authentically from my heart, and part of that authentic living means accomplishing my less than normal dreams.  And as I have begun sorting through my own beliefs on what is normal and what isn’t, I stumbled across some profoundly inspiring information/quotes that I want to share with you.

In the January 2013 issue of The Oprah Magazine, Oprah interviewed spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss about discovering happiness and finding our true path in this life.  One of the questions Carolyn was asked was why are people so confused about what they are meant to do in this life and her response resonated with me to my core.

“Because they define their life by what they want versus what they have.”

Wow…how many of us can think of a time when we have found ourselves unhappy due to not having something in particular?  What if we all took stock of what we have and live from a space of gratitude for those things instead of trying to keep up with society and what they dictate is enough?  I don’t think our lives should be defined by our possessions or the things we want to have, but more by who we are…our true, authentic selves.

The interview goes on to discuss life purpose and how many people find achieving their dreams and goals as a difficult thing.  They often find they are met with resistance and struggle.

“People suffer when they pursue a life or chase a dream that doesn’t belong to them.”

I had to stop for a moment and really absorb what this statement suggests.  If we are traveling a path that is not ours, meaning we are trying to live a life that is not authentic for us, then we are likely to be met with resistance, frustration, and challenge.  That is not to suggest that achieving our own dreams won’t have its own struggles and life lessons, but there will likely be a distinct difference in how those challenges feel.  The key is realizing when you are operating from your true self and when you are attempting to achieve a goal simply for the way it looks on the outside.  Are you achieving your dreams because it is your soul’s purpose or are you doing it for other reasons?

So, how do we find our life purpose?  By that I mean our true, authentic path that we are meant to travel in this lifetime.  What if you don’t know where to start?  Carolyn suggests:

“Have no judgments about your life.  No expectations.  Give up the need to know what happens tomorrow.  Just be fully present and appreciate all that is in your life right now.” 

Again, I don’t think she suggests sitting around and waiting for life to happen for you, but instead to be fully present with where you are right now and to listen.  Listen to your inner voice, your joy, and your passion.  It is likely you haven’t heard what it is trying to say if you have been attempting to live a life that isn’t yours.  Enjoy this moment, be grateful for it, and listen to what comes up for you.  I think you will find your true self shine through and it may be 180 degrees different from the life you were trying to live, but I firmly believe when we are living fully from our authentic selves, life simply flows.  You might just find that your true path offers more joy, happiness, and peace than you ever imagined.

Are you willing to live from that place?