Lamisha Serf-Walls

Guidance, Info, and Resources Oh My!

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guidanceAs you continue (or begin as it may be) your path to living the life you once dreamt, you may find yourself in need of guidance, information, and resources to help you along the way.  You may need to know more about setting up a blog, html coding, the legalities of business, how to write a book proposal, or any number of things.  The amount of what you don’t know may feel overwhelming, but never fear because there are many people in the world who have been where you are, are willing to share what they know, and even provide it to you for FREE!!

Asking yourself how to get started or continue your path of things you don’t know?

Here are a few tips to get you started:

  • Reach out to your network. You never know how far your network can reach until you ask.  Tell your friends, family, and co-workers what you are working on.  Ask them if they know of anyone that does _______.  Chances are you will find someone who knows someone who knows about what you are working on.  You have the ability to get some wonderful information simply by reaching out to the people you interact with everyday.
  • Find people doing what you want to do and see if you can pick their brain for information.  When I began looking for information about life coaching, I realized my best friend knew not one, but two coaches that were willing to chat with me about what I wanted to do.  I also “cold-called” a coach in the area that I was moving to, to see if she was willing to give me some information about how she got started.  Turns out, there are more people out there willing to help you…all you have to do is ask!
  • Don’t just ask one person.  This has been paramount for me.  The first life coach I contacted for information actually put a little damper on my joy as she expressed her frustration with her work.  While I was glad she was sharing both the up and the down sides to life coaching, I felt she was more discouraging than anything, but I didn’t let that stop me.  I spoke to another coach (who later became a good friend and client), who has been so helpful through the process. If you find a person that you don’t jive with, no worries, find someone else and just ask!
  • The Internet is full of great info.  There is a ton of information available online and while sometimes it can be a little overwhelming, if you follow your gut you will find exactly what you are looking for. You would be surprised how many bloggers, entrepreneurs, coaches, etc. are willing to offer resources on their websites for free.  You can find a ton of great stuff out there including worksheets, meditations, workbooks, guides, and good ‘ole helpful advice without spending a dime!
  • Hire a coach. You knew I was going to add this one right?  While life coaches don’t know everything, I have found that my clients find the right information, people, and resources they need as we move along in our work together with ease.  It seems that the more we talk about their bigger vision, the easier it becomes to manifest the very next step to take and that is the magic of following your inspiration to create the life of your dreams.  (And I’m not just saying to hire a coach because I am a coach, I am saying to think about it because it really is an amazing and fun journey to go from not knowing to knowing exactly what you are meant to do.

I am currently working on my own resources and programming to better serve my clients and could use your help.  I have put together a short survey and would love it if you would take a few minutes to complete it (anonymously of course).  The information you share will help me create the best resources to you in the coming months.  Thank you in advance for your time!

Click here to take survey

15-Minute Magic

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Within the last week or two I have implemented a practice that has completely changed my daily life.  It is a “life hack” I heard about many years ago, but never tried, until a few weeks ago.  I applied it to my life in order to create more balance between my full-time job, coaching, writing, and family duties and it has worked wonders.  I soon realized this magical practice can even be applied to accomplishing your dreams, 15-minutes at a time.

If you are like me you probably have a laundry list of things to do (including laundry) and some days you aren’t sure how you can fit it all in, let alone make time for you to focus on the one big thing you really want to create in your life.  You also know that without that time and space, that thing may never manifest.

So how do you do it without locking yourself in a room for hours on end to finally make some headway?

You break it into 15-minute chunks.

I know you are saying that you can’t possibly get anything worthwhile accomplished in 15-minutes, but believe it or not, you can accomplish a lot in 15-minutes if you are totally focused on the task at hand.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Select something from your to-do list that you just haven’t found the time to do.

    image from www.childhood101.com
    image from www.childhood101.com
  2. Set a timer for exactly 15-minutes.
  3. Get to work.
  4. When the timer goes off, stop what you are doing and pat yourself on the back. You have just taken a tiny step toward accomplishing your goals.

Now, at this point if you are really on a roll and you have the time you can reset the timer and go for another 15-minutes and see where that gets you, or you may decide you want to do something else for 15-minutes.  The awesome thing about this practice is you can use it for anything. (If you are a parent, this works wonders with children especially when they have chores to do.)

Do you have some follow-up emails you have been meaning to send?  Some contacts you have been meaning to look up?  Need to research business cards/webpage designers/workshop ideas/need to contact that life coach you have been meaning to hire? Set your timer and go!

You may find some tasks work better with a 30-minute set up and that is ok too.  Feel free to mold this practice into something that works for you and your unique situation.

Using this practice allows you to take little steps toward accomplishing your dreams and the more you do it, the more inspired you become.  Soon you may find yourself setting the timer for much longer simply because you enjoy working on your dreams.  The key is to do a little bit everyday.

When you make your dreams a priority by doing a little each day, you will not only begin to feel better, but you will also see your dreams take shape before your very eyes.  Don’t believe me?  Try it and leave me a message in the comments below on how it worked for you.

Life Coach: Guide Not Guru

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guidance

A few months ago I heard one of my favorite radio personalities scoff at life coaches as some airy-fairy-hippy-thing that no one really needs.  He went on to explain how he didn’t understand the concept and that only really confused people needed a coach to live their lives.  It was in that moment I realized there are probably many people in the world that don’t know what life coaching is and have some assumptions about coaching that aren’t entirely true (or just simply wrong).  I thought it would be good to share my definition of a life coach and what exactly I do when I work with a client.

According to The Free Dictionary “a life coach is a person whose job is to improve the quality of his or her client’s life, by offering advice on professional and personal matters, such as career, health, personal relationships, etc.”

The idea that it is my job to improve my clients lives couldn’t be further from what I do.  In my work, I work with the client to help them identify challenges, frustrations, fears, etc. that may be limiting them in their lives.  From there we work together to come up with action steps, exercises etc. that will assist them in overcoming these factors and ultimately lead them to accomplish their goals/dreams.

I don’t like to think of myself as a guru of anything because it leads to the idea that I know it all, and I don’t.  What I like to think of myself as is a guide.  I help clients find their inner power to create the life of their dreams, by following the inspired path and their hearts.  I may provide homework, offer suggestions, and ask questions to dig deeper on any given issue, but ultimately it is up to my client’s to take the action steps necessary to achieve their dreams.  I am simply a guide to assist in the journey.

While I do have my own philosophy that I use for coaching, it is only one of many methods available.  I trust that the clients that are drawn to me and my work are meant to work with me while others may choose another coach, and that is okay.

If you would like more information about what I do or are interested in scheduling a free introductory session please visit “My Story” or email me at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com.

 

Making Peace With Your Starting Point

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peace

Have you ever had the experience of being in a situation, job, relationship, or circumstance that you simply wanted to get out of?  Maybe you wanted it to move in another direction or you wanted to have a different outcome.  Simply put, you were in one place, but you desperately wanted to be in another without knowing how to get there.

I think we all have had that experience.  I know I have had that many times especially when it came to my job.  At one point (not too long ago) I was working for a company that was ok, but I couldn’t get over how demeaning, mean, and completely unfair my boss was.  My daily focus was how much I wanted to leave that place and yet no matter how many resumes I sent out I couldn’t seem to land another job.  At one point my focus for what I wanted next was so diminished I would have taken anything just to leave the toxic environment I was working in.  Unfortunately I couldn’t just quit with nothing else lined up so I stayed.

I was on the job hunt for over a year all the while I woke up each morning with anxiety and dread as I made my way into work.  I couldn’t get over how uncomfortable the place was.  Then one day something happened.  I stopped looking for another job.  I don’t know if it was out of pure frustration or because I had accepted my fate, but I stopped.  I decided to find something to do in addition to my work there that would make me happy.

That thing was writing.

I began writing greeting cards and dabbled with some freelance work that I have continued 3 years later and I am so happy I did.  Not only was I more inspired to write, but I had somehow made peace with where I was.  Not too long after that point my horrific boss (though she was nice as a person) left the company.

Poof! One day she was gone.  I thought that was the absolute best thing that could happen, but it gets better.

A few months later I received a call from a former co-worker with a potential job offer.  A job I hadn’t even been looking for!  A job that turned out to be more money than I was making and would allow me to work from home.  I had always toyed with the idea of working from home, but I had no idea how that would be possible.  Not only that, but it turned out to be the perfect scenario since my partner and I knew we would be moving in the next few months out-of-state.  I knew if I didn’t have a job lined up I would have to stay behind to keep my job and now I didn’t have to do that at all.  My job moved with me!

It turned out to be the perfect situation and in it I learned a very valuable lesson.

When you make peace with your starting point, the Universe can work on your behalf to bring things to you that will move you toward your heart’s desire no matter how big it seems. 

The moral of this story is this…

Stop struggling with where you are now for it is just your starting point.  Make peace with it and find some way to appreciate and enjoy where you are now.  When you do, you will be amazed at the opportunities that unfold before your very eyes.  Opportunities you may never have thought possible.

Visualization: A Tool For Manifestating Your Dreams

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visualize

When it comes to living the life of our dreams most of us ideally know exactly what we want.  We have said on more than one occasion, “If only _____ would happen, then I could finally be happy!”, but how many of us really know what we want?  Sure we may have a general idea of the life we want to live…money, partnership, love, and happiness, but thing is those things are different for each of us.  My version of the life of my dreams won’t necessarily match yours and vice versa.

So how can we figure out what that life looks like?

One way is to use visualization.  When was the last time you took a few minutes to visualize the ideal situation?  Maybe you have a big meeting coming up that you want to go really well or an appointment that you want a certain outcome?  Have you ever thought of visualizing it before it happens?

My guess is that many of us tend to use visualization in a much less productive way.  For instance I know some people (myself included) that have the tendency to visualize the worst possible outcome as a way of convincing themselves that if the worst happens, it’s not so bad.  They are often times met with a similar situation and may think to themselves, “See, it happened and I was prepared.” But is that what it really means?  Couldn’t it also mean that you put out the vibe for negative situation to occur?  Maybe.  So what if you did the exact opposite?

Let’s say you have a situation coming up that you would traditionally worry about, maybe you are selling your house, moving to a new location, or starting a new business.  The logical part of you says to plan, plan, plan for the worst case scenario.  So, you begin thinking of all the things that could go wrong and the ways you could combat it.  Maybe you save some extra money, find alternative places to live, or start looking for a part-time gig as you venture down the logical road.  But what if instead of thinking through all the terrible things that could happen, you begin thinking of how you would like it to unfold.

For instance, if you are selling your house you could imagine putting it on the market for the exact amount of money you wish to sell it for and within 2 weeks have a contract.  If you want to take it a step further, you might imagine what type of person or family would enjoy living in your house.  Or if you are planning on moving to a new area, think of the ideal situation.  Do you want to rent or buy?  What type of area would you ideally like to live in?  Can you see it, feel it, and experience it in your mind’s eye?

The key is to stop worrying and fretting about what might go wrong or what the worst case scenario is because chances are the more you focus on the worst case, the more likely it will come true.

About 7 years ago I was moving out-of-state without having a job already lined up.  I had never done something like this before and while I had a little bit of money saved, I didn’t have enough to last me for a long time, so I needed to find a job rather quickly.  When asked what my plan was my answer was always the same…”I’ll look when I get there, but worst case scenario if I can’t find something I’ll just get a job at Starbucks or something.”  A few months went by and my thinking remained the same and I still had no job and was losing faith in myself.  The first job I got while living in the new city was…you guessed it, working at Starbucks!

The process works the same way if you can visualize the ideal situation.  Before my partner and I moved to where we live now, we had planned on using our previous home as a rental property.  We made all of our arrangements prior to leaving and all the while we kept thinking that the ideal situation would be to have someone sign a lease shortly after we left.  We didn’t have a lot of worry or concern about the situation because we had so much going on with the move and coordinating the purchase of our new home and found out within 2 days of leaving that we had a renter for our home.  Our ideal situation was playing out before our eyes and we were so grateful!

The point is this…

If you have a choice to worry about a situation or to visualize the ideal, why waste your energy thinking of what disaster may come?  Why not make the best of it and think of the most amazing and beautiful outcome possible?

The same thing applies to your dreams…

Instead of thinking of all the ways you can fail or thinking of the most logical path to your dreams, think of the ideal situation.  Feel the excitement and inspiration for your ideal situation and watch as your dreams begin to manifest before your eyes, sometimes in ways you never imagined could happen.

Use the power of your imagination for good and the next time you find yourself worrying over the worst case scenario of a situation, turn it around and visualize the ideal.

Still not convinced it works?  Experiment with it and see what happens for you.  I promise you won’t be disappointed as long as you believe it can come true.