Lamisha Serf-Walls

Missing Link-Imagination

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I recently took a poll of my Facebook friends to find out what it was exactly that they felt they needed to tackle their ‘ultimate dream’.  I wanted to find out what my potential clients are struggling with so I can create more resources, programs, and content to assist them.  The responses were interesting to say the least because what they were lacking falls into one of three categories: resources (time, money, space), belief in self (courage, confidence), or knowing where to start.  I knew as soon as I read their comments that I was on to something because these were many of the things I struggled with in the last 2 years as I contemplated how I was going to begin my life coaching business.

While all of the responses fell into one of the three categories, most people said the lack of time, money, or space to create their ‘ultimate dream’, was the thing they were missing.  This isn’t all that surprising when you figure how many people are juggling a multitude of responsibilities and are simply trying to keep up with their busy schedules.  From what I gathered, a lot of the people who responded in this way had some idea of how to couragemake their dream a reality, but they only saw one way to make it happen.

Many of the responders also said that they were lacking the courage and confidence to make it happen in addition to the resources.  So before even setting out to achieve their ultimate dream, they were felt like they just couldn’t do it.  It seemed just too big to tackle right now.  Interesting…

The last response came from people not really knowing how to begin.  These are people who know what they want to do, but just haven’t put anything into action to find a way to make it happen.  These may be people who feel like their dream is so far out of reality, they can’t even fathom how to make it happen.  In fact, they may not even allow themselves to think about it too much because it is that far out.

So what do all these people have in common?  They are all using their logic to get them from point A to point B.  They are using their memories, knowledge, current reality, and logical thinking in order to figure out how to make their dreams come true and if they come up against a roadblock, many people tend to give up.  I think I have a better way of doing this.  imagination-11

Instead of looking at the reality of your situation (the responsibilities, bills to pay, kids to care for, schedules to keep up with, the fact that you have never had enough money to travel, or you are too afraid to fail etc.) and using that to find the most realistic way of doing things, I encourage you to use your imagination. Out of the box thinking allows you to be open to other possibilities of how your dream may come to fruition.  Instead of seeing a straight and narrow path to your goal or dream, you see a beautiful web of possibilities with fun stuff all along the way!  It’s there that you begin to feel the magic.

When you tap into your imagination and follow what feels good and right for you, the journey is enjoyable too.  You aren’t constantly taking score of where you are in relationship to where you want to be, but instead are enjoying the little nuggets along the way.  One piece leads to the next and to the next and before you know it you have unlocked your potential to create the ultimate dream regardless of what that entails.

There are an infinite number of possibilities to creating the life of your dreams and by hanging onto the one most likely way (in your mind), you are blocking out all the rest.  The only true limitation in achieving the life of your dreams, is the illusion you can’t do it, don’t have the means, or that it’s just too good for you, because the truth is you can have all you need.

Are you ready?

You Have A Gift: Find It, Embrace It, and Share It!

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I may not know all of you lovely readers personally, but there is one thing I do know about you.

You have a gift.giftquote

You may not be aware of it entirely, but I assure you it is there and it is meant to be shared with the world!

You might be thinking…”Who me?”, “I have nothing to give that is of value.”, “What do I know?”

And if I were coaching you, I would say, “Yes YOU.”, “You have so much to offer the world that only YOU can.”, “You know more than you think you do.”

And I promise all of those statements are true.

The problem we come across as we ponder our gift, is that there is this belief that only really special people have a gift.  The truth is, yes really special people have gifts to give, and we all fall into that category.

Each one of us brings with us our own unique experiences, thoughts, ideas, feelings, outlooks, and perspectives to life.  Each of us have our own interests, beliefs, dreams, and gifts to give to the world.

Not all of us know it.

I want you to take some time this weekend and ponder what your gift might be if you aren’t entirely sure.  I’ll tell you a little secret, it is probably something you do easily, frequently, and without thinking.  It is probably even something you really enjoy doing.  Just take some time to think about what it might be.  If you are still unsure, ask around to the people that know you and see what they say.

If you already know what your gift is, take some time to celebrate it.  If it’s knitting, knit a new scarf or sweater.  If it’s cooking, try a new recipe.  If it’s writing, by golly get to your computer or notepad and get to work.  Are you an artist?  Dust off your paint brushes and get busy!

Embrace the gift you have been given and use it.  Love it.  Enjoy it.  Express it.

Share it!!

I strongly believe our gifts are meant to be loved, embraced, and shared with others.  That is what life is all about.  So get out there and do what you love!!!

Don’t let the naysayers, doubts, Dream Crushers, lack of confidence, or any other thing stop you from using your gift this weekend.  Just do it and watch what happens next.

I can’t wait to hear how it goes!

Until next week friends, have a lovely weekend and as always thanks for reading!

Intention and Small Actions=Progress

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how quickly things have happened in terms of my dream of becoming a life coach.  Just last night as I worked on getting my new Facebook page up and running, I remembered a time not too long ago when this was just a dream.  My coaching business was a thought, a hope, a desire that felt like it was off in the distance somewhere.  It wasn’t until I took the leap of faith, that it all became real.

In an instant.  universe

I have seen this phenomenon happen over and over again.  It seems that when we make a choice to do something and put even the smallest action into it, things seem to unfold almost magically.  The intention and thought have a way of creating a bit of momentum and even the smallest step adds just enough energy to allow everything to align and progress is made.  Add a little more action and the pieces continually fall into place.

Is this a formula for guaranteed success?  Not necessarily.  There are some things that require more intention, a bit more action, and what seems like a lot of momentum…while you are in it.  I can tell you there have been many times when I feel like I am standing still in terms of progress and then when I look back on it, I realize I have come much further than I realized.  Sometimes you just have to be easy about your dreams.

What I find interesting is how often we hear people talking about setting a goal, creating an action plan, working the action plan, working hard, etc. in order to reach your goals.  I think this method works for some people, but I find myself taking score of what I have yet to accomplish.  I am constantly looking at if I have arrived in order to move on and if I haven’t, I tend to get discouraged.

I find that setting an intention to do, be, or have something sets the energetic wheels in motion and when you follow your inspiration to the next step because it just feels right, there lies another opportunity for progress.  Continue to follow that feeling and you will find yourself much further than you ever thought you could be.

Sometimes you don’t need a step-by-step map of how to get to your dream.  With a vision, an open mind, and a little action, you can trust that your intuition and inspiration will lead you to the very next step.  And if you aren’t sure where to start, just take a tiny step and watch as your path is illuminated little-by-little.

What can you do today to get you to the very next step?  Share in the comments below, I would love to hear your intentions!

4 Phases To The Life Of Your Dreams

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When I set out to create my coaching model, I began thinking about my own process in creating a coaching practice.  I pondered the struggles, challenges, and frustrations I encountered (and still encounter) and put it all together into a 4-phase model.  This doesn’t mean everyone fits perfectly into one phase or another or even moves through them linearly, but I have found that many people deal with these phases at some point as they move toward their dreams.

Phase 1:  Dream Discovery- I have found there are people who either know what their dream is or they don’t and usually the ones that don’t know simply haven’t labeled a specific hobby, thought, or want as a dream.  There are however, people who have forgotten how to dream.  These are the people who have been taught to move through life based on their core survival needs.  They may go to school and study a subject they are good at or follow in the footsteps of a family member because they were expected to.  They may be in a career that pays the bills, but doesn’t necessarily bring them joy.  They may even be people who don’t know it’s possible to do what you love and get paid for it and are strictly living in a “survival of the fittest” mentality.  daretodream

These are people who need help dreaming again.  They are people that I work with to broaden their horizon about life and open their eyes and minds to having the wonder of a child again.  I help them use their imaginations and allow the restrictions of logical thinking to go out the window and tap into the child that always wanted to ________(fill in the blank).  Too often, we feel we need to grow up and let go of that pipe dream that still lies within us.  The truth is if we tapped into that place more, we would not only be happier, but we would find that life is limitless and there is a power within us that allows us to do ultimately anything!

Phase 2: Feel The Magic- Phase 2 is really about keeping the magical feeling of wonder alive.  It’s about allowing our dreams to take our thoughts where they may and to get into the knowing that anything is possible.  There are some people who know what they want to do, but have difficulty figuring out how to do it because they only see one or two ways.  (I was one of these people.)  Clients in this phase typically have a vision of how they will achieve a specific dream, yet for some reason it hasn’t worked out.  They may be frustrated and stagnant in their dream and need a bit of assistance bringing the magic back to fuel their vision.  I help clients do just that.  I help them tap into the feeling place of the dream and help them to imagine the thousands of ways it could happen.  Once they let go of the notion that it can only be achieved in one specific way, they find a multitude of possibilities that ignite their passion again.magic

I have found this phase to be one that clients come back to again and again as a means to refuel their vision.  Sometimes everyday life can cause us to forget the amazing possibilities that exist in the world as we focus on the “real world” that comes in the form of bills, responsibilities, family, work, etc.  Sometimes we just need to sit back and remember the magic that is all around us and when we do that, we realize anything is possible, even our dream life.

 

Phase 3: Protect Your Dream– Protecting your dream is probably one of the most important pieces of the process.  Once we are able to identify our dream, feel the possibility and magic in it, it is important to ensure we don’t allow Dream Crushers to cause us to doubt ourselves.  We need to also ensure that even during times when we lose some confidence or aren’t sure where to go that we remember what inspired us in the first place and get back to the magical feeling of our vision.  It is there we find additional inspirational nuggets that will lead us to the next step.  protectdream

Phase 3 is really about building self-confidence, dealing with fear, possible failure, and any other nuance that can cause us to doubt the possibility of making dreams a reality.  During this phase I work with clients to get to the core of the doubt and other self-limiting beliefs that are holding them back and can even provide exercises to use between sessions to keep the Dream Crusher thoughts at bay.

Another important note is that as your vision grows and evolves you may revisit this phase more than once on different subjects/issues, but know that each time you move through it with more courage, confidence, and belief in yourself than you had before.

Phase 4:  Live The Dream: At first glance this phase may seem easy.  Sure you go through each of the other phases doing the “work” and then this is where you finally see the benefit of your work.  That is only partially true.  Yes, this phase is about allowing your dream to transition into reality, but it is an ongoing process.  This is where clients implement their ideas and take inspired action to the next step.  Ideally they have created their vision, aligned with the magical essence of it, dealt with any limiting beliefs, and are now confidently flowing toward a new reality, but that isn’t always how it works.

I am seeing many people moving through this phase as they transition through some of the other phases as well.  For instance, someone who knows what they want may begin taking inspired action and come up against struggles and frustrations that cause them to want to give up or they have allowed the beliefs of others to dictate what they can and can’t achieve.livedream

When I created this loose model, I knew instantly it was not going to be a simple linear equation because life isn’t like that.  Life is a journey of discovery and while it would be nice (sometimes) to simply follow a set map from point A to point B, it wouldn’t be nearly as fun and this process is much the same.  A fun, free-flowing process of discovery and evolution that will ultimately lead to a you living a life you once dreamt.

Do you find yourself falling into one or many of the phases above and want to test the life coaching waters?  If so, I am still offering FREE introductory calls to anyone interested in working with me.  Please feel free to send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com to get set up.  I look forward to working with you!

From Faith To Fear And Back Again

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I know I typically begin the week with either my Inspiration Round-up or Dreamer Highlight, but in light of keeping it real with you lovely readers, I decided to start the week this post instead.  It is something I have been dealing with in the past few weeks and I am sure many of you have (or will) go through it as well.

I spent most of June and July imagining, envisioning, and creating my coaching framework as well as figuring out how I would present the information to potential clients.  The process was very easy-going and high-flying as everything was so exciting.  I didn’t feel a sense of urgency to get things completed by a certain date because I was simply following my inspiration to the very next step.  I had this intuitive knowing that August 1st would be when I open practice up to take new clients.  I had an idea that once I did, clients would come to me and would immediately want to get started.  I even went so far as to set a goal for how many new clients I wanted to book by the end of the month.

We are halfway through the month and I am not anywhere near my goal.  Fear

Bummer.

Actually it hit me much harder than just a “bummer” moment.  In fact, I have found myself deep in the throes of doubtful thinking, fear, and disbelief. My self-talk was running rampant as I condescendingly asked myself “How could you actually believe it would take off so easily?”

This was an admittedly ugly place to be for sure.

As I began moving through the muck of self-doubt, I realized I had allowed fear to take the place of the light, easy-going faith I had as I created my coaching model seemingly effortlessly.  Through that process I kept reassuring myself (read my Ego) that I didn’t have to have it mapped out as to how, when, and who would want to work with me.  I just knew that as long as I do what I love and stay true to myself the people who are meant to work with me will.

While I might have doubted how quickly I would book clients, I never once questioned that life coaching is what I am meant to do.

This weekend I did some thinking about my client goal for this month and couldn’t help but wonder if I had made a mistake by having a number I wanted to hit for the month.  Instead of focusing on writing blog posts, working with my current awesome clients, and creating resources for my readers, I found myself keeping score of how many clients I had (or didn’t have).  And while we are taught in the traditional/logical business world to set goals, map out a plan, and execute, I am beginning to see that might not be the best tactic for me.  My philosophy does center around following my inspiration and the general goal setting is not all that inspirational for me.

So, I am happy to say I have moved through the muck and am moving back into trusting this process.  I honestly believe and know that if you do what you love, the rest will fall into place, so that is exactly what I plan on doing.

In the past two weeks I have moved from a place of faith in the process to fear and back again and I must say it feels so much better.

Do I think I will always be high-flying and trust the process?  Probably not, but I now know it is not where I have to stay.  I can allow my Ego to have her say before I kindly tell her to relax and trust the process.  And what is even better than that?  I can use my personal experience to help my clients who may be struggling with the same thing.

Where do you have doubts in your life?  I am interested to know how you deal with your own doubts, please feel free to share below!