Lamisha Serf-Walls

Fearless Living

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At the end of last week I decided I wanted to write a post about fear as far as dreams and goals are concerned.  In light of the events that happened in Boston on Monday, I know that this is the right topic to write about for there are various forms of fear that take place.

When I first heard about the tragic events on Monday, I was deeply saddened and as I posted on my Facebook status yesterday, I kept asking myself “why?”.  I don’t know if it is the common violent occurrences that are happening around the world or if it is because I am a mother now, but these things are taking a toll on me.  I have never been one to particularly fear for my safety, nor have I ever been ignorant to believe that bad things can’t happen to me.  I purposely do not watch the news for I don’t believe it adds to my life in any way and because it is nothing but “bad news”.  As you can tell I am far from the realist.

As I felt the sadness for what is happening in our world, I was reminded of the many people who ran to help the victims of the bombings.  Those dear souls that ran toward those in need instead of running away are the heroes.  They are the light in this dark event.  They helped strangers simply because it was needed and didn’t think twice about any other danger they may be putting themselves in.  They gave me hope.  That hope quickly fueled my decision to not live in fear.

As a parent, I am responsible for the safety of my child.  I have been given this wonderful opportunity to care for this incredible life and to make decisions that are right by him.  One of those decisions is to teach him to live the fearless life with a good dose of discernment.  I want my son to grow up and weigh the risks for his dreams.  To live his life fully without fear of rejection, fear of failure, and ultimately without fear at all.  I want him to be able to live in a world that honors his uniqueness and choices.  I want him to be able to live in a peaceful world.  And while I cannot stop the violence on my own, I can teach him that no matter how much negativity and violence we see on television and in the media, it will never outweigh the goodness that is in the world.

And the best way to teach him all of this, is through my actions.  More on how I will be doing that tomorrow.

Things I’m Afraid To Tell You…

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About a year ago I read a blog post from one of my favorite bloggers (Jess Lively) listing various things Jess was afraid to share with her readers.  (You can view her post here.)  For some reason this morning I was reminded of it and inspired to share with you my own list of things I am afraid to tell you.  By sharing this list with you, I hope to make these things a little less scary for myself and bring comfort to anyone reading this that has their own list.

Things I Am Afraid To Tell You

  • I care about what others think of me far more than I care to admit.  I like to think of myself as an out of the box thinker and overachiever, but there is a part of me that wants to be well liked and accepted by others despite my desire to be unique.
  • I can be very emotional at times.  I feel my feelings very deeply and for a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve, this can become very draining. (I am learning to let some of that go, bit by bit, but in my heart of hearts, I am just one big ‘ole sap.)
  • I have a deep fear of failure and many times it stops me from doing the things my heart desires most…but this is getting better with each new dream I tackle.
  • Sometimes I think if I could just win a million dollars, life would be better.  (Materialistic I know, but I have thought it more than once even though I know money doesn’t equal happiness.)
  • There are times when I am convinced I know nothing and doubt my ability to inspire anyone to change their lives.  Those days I feel like a fraud.
  • Rejection in my work, personal life, and creative ventures is one of the biggest fears I have and I know the only way to conquer it is to accept it as a part of life.  (I am still working on that. )
  • I am a spiritual person, but not in the traditional religious way and I often hide my alternative beliefs (on social media sites and my blog) for fear of being seen in a negative light.
  • I have days when I feel weak and days when I feel strong.  The strong days are beginning to outweigh the weak and I now realize my journey is worth every single valley just so I can experience the view from the mountain top.

So, those are some of the things I am afraid to tell you.  Now that I look back at them it isn’t as scary as I thought.  I am who I am, and despite the often difficult road I have traveled to get here, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I am who I am because of where I have come from and I accept that I am a work in progress…most of the time.