Lamisha Serf-Walls

Be Easy…You’re Still Learning!

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When I was initially inspired to become a life coach, it came at a time when I felt a push to help people do what they really wanted to do, not what they felt they had to do.  In a weird sort of way I was coaching without realizing it and while the different jobs I had that allowed me to talk to people about their “office jobs” or other obligations, I was actually living my purpose, just in a different way.

Since beginning my “official” business (all of a month ago), I have come to realize the coaching piece is what comes naturally to me.  Asking the right questions.  Getting to the core of the issue.  Helping clients take that next step etc. has all been easy, but I am learning a lot about other aspects of running an online business.  And like many of my clients who are just stepping into what they were meant to do, I often find myself getting frustrated or impatient about what I don’t yet know.

I realized today that I am not alone and neither are you.   learning

Not only did I again get a few newsletters delivered right to my inbox with the “how-to” instructions on things I don’t yet know, I also had a chat with a good friend who was going through a similar situation.  (By the way, I highly encourage you to sign up for the free newsletters of your favorite blogs because you can get really great information for free and often in the exact moment you need it.  Keep an eye out because I will have my own newsletter available soon.)

Here’s what I realized:

  • You don’t have to know everything at once in order to begin.  Simply take the tiny steps and follow your inspiration and you will likely find the resources, money, opportunities, connections etc. just come to you right when you need them.  It’s the magic of leading with your inspirational foot.
  • It’s really not fair for you to compare your journey to anyone especially if they have been doing it longer.  They too had to find the answers and figure it out so don’t fret when you find you business Facebook page doesn’t have as many likes as your mentor (ahem, I might be coaching  myself here), or that it is taking a bit longer to find the right publisher for your book.  Keep doing what you love and following your inspiration and you will reap the benefits.
  • This is part of the journey and while we often believe we set goals only to achieve them, the journey should be fun.  If it’s not what’s the point.  So stop worrying and find the joy in learning, growing, and evolving into the new, happier, dream-livin’ YOU!
  • Last but not least, you don’t have to do it alone.  There are coaches, guides, mentors, and ample resources out there for you to access.  We live in a time where all the information we want is accessible to us, so use it.  You don’t have to reinvent the wheel to get to where you want to be.  Let’s come together in community and help each other out.  Together we can do more anyway right?

Be easy with yourself and enjoy the process of learning your craft whatever that may be.  And if there are things that really take the joy out of your journey, pay someone else to do it if you can.  Don’t allow a little accounting, website snafu, or other frustration get the best of you.  There are people in the world following their dreams doing the exact thing you don’t enjoy, so why not let them?

And remember, you don’t have to know it all, be it all, and do it all this very moment, so take a break and give yourself a break!

Do you want to see how I can help you find the resources, money, opportunities, and connections to make your dreams a reality?  Contact me to set up a FREE coaching call, I would love to give you a bit of guidance.

You’ll Know It When You Feel It

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I had a moment today when my inspiration came flooding back.  I guess it wasn’t gone entirely, but over the last 2 weeks or so, I have felt my inspiration dwindle more and more while I found doubt creeping in much more than usual.  I knew it would come back, I just wasn’t sure when or how.

Today it did.

The last few weeks the momentum in my business and writing has slowed a bit, and while I wasn’t immediately concerned, I have found myself playing the “what if” game in a negative way.  Instead of thinking, “oh, what if I found the perfect job to replace the new job”, I found myself saying “what if I can’t find anything before December?”.

Not a fun game to play.

But today, when I followed up with a client for our call tomorrow, my inspiration and passion returned.  She was giving me an update on what has been going on over the last week and her update was overflowing with inspiration, excitement, energy, and passion that she passed that along to me.

I remembered in an instant why I do what I do and how good it feels to watch a client grow and evolve.  I read the email and smiled not only because of the success of a wonderfully talented client/writer/wordsmith/storyteller, but because in that moment my heart opened and the doubt began to melt away.

My inspiration is back and running rampant.

Sometimes you don’t have to know where or how or when, the important thing is that you will know it when you feel it.

What is the “it” I am referring to?  It can be your inspiration, your next step, your dream job, or anything else you are wanting “it” to be.

Trust your intuition because you will know it when you feel it and boy does it feel good!

How The Coach Coaches Herself

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inspirationOne of the things I love about my entrepreneurial journey is my ability to share my lessons, inspirations, and insights on my blog.  Even when I have moments of doubt or when I am feeling frustrated about how things are unfolding, I am glad that I am able to share my experience with you.  It not only helps you to know that we all go through rough times, but also helps me become a better coach in the process.

Lately I have felt a bit like a firefighter, constantly responding to what is going on around me and taking care of things without really being intentional about life in general.  That lack of intentionality goes against a lot of what I believe in, yet in the past few weeks it seems I have had to put out a lot of urgent fires in order to make it through each day.  Whether it is with my day job, home life, or family, I have been far more reaction oriented rather than intention oriented.  I am finding this is not only feeding my anxiety about the future, but also leaves me wondering how to best find balance.

I have written a lot about accepting ‘what is’ in the current situation and not fighting it and I still believe that is important, but I can’t help but wonder how we can balance it all?  How can we remain open and present in this very moment, while still setting our intentions for the future?  How can we loosely plan for our future while still being open to what happens to come our way?

I guess all the questions come at a time when my future is a bit foggy and I fight between two extremes of surrendering to ‘what is’ and falling on faith or jumping into action mode to make things happen.  I know that having faith in what is happening and leading with my inspirational foot is really best.  And as a coach, I know I am simply allowing normal doubt to creep into my otherwise positive thoughts and they will pass as long as I don’t hang on to them for too long.

So, if I had a client in my exact shoes what would I tell her?

Well, I would encourage her to take a step back and breathe without making any decisions one way or another.  This helps us gain some perspective on the “issue” and can often result in nudges from our intuition that leads us to the next step.  Sometimes when we are so close to a situation, we allow our limited view to send us into a tailspin of unnecessary worry.  Sometimes we just need to press the reset button and allow ourselves a chance to regroup.

Message received coach!

Instead of trying to fit my future into a container of reality, I am going to be like the bird in my logo.  Free-flying and open to the endless possibilities that are out there.  I know that by taking a step back and regrouping a little bit things will become clear again.  The momentum will pick up again, and things will fall into place.  Until that happens, I am going to do what I tell my clients.

“Do things that feel good and feed your soul.  Allow yourself some time to just have fun and once you take the stress off a little bit, the inspirational nuggets will return and things will get moving again.  Just be easy, this is all part of the journey.”

Thanks Coach!  🙂

You Have A Gift: Find It, Embrace It, and Share It!

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I may not know all of you lovely readers personally, but there is one thing I do know about you.

You have a gift.giftquote

You may not be aware of it entirely, but I assure you it is there and it is meant to be shared with the world!

You might be thinking…”Who me?”, “I have nothing to give that is of value.”, “What do I know?”

And if I were coaching you, I would say, “Yes YOU.”, “You have so much to offer the world that only YOU can.”, “You know more than you think you do.”

And I promise all of those statements are true.

The problem we come across as we ponder our gift, is that there is this belief that only really special people have a gift.  The truth is, yes really special people have gifts to give, and we all fall into that category.

Each one of us brings with us our own unique experiences, thoughts, ideas, feelings, outlooks, and perspectives to life.  Each of us have our own interests, beliefs, dreams, and gifts to give to the world.

Not all of us know it.

I want you to take some time this weekend and ponder what your gift might be if you aren’t entirely sure.  I’ll tell you a little secret, it is probably something you do easily, frequently, and without thinking.  It is probably even something you really enjoy doing.  Just take some time to think about what it might be.  If you are still unsure, ask around to the people that know you and see what they say.

If you already know what your gift is, take some time to celebrate it.  If it’s knitting, knit a new scarf or sweater.  If it’s cooking, try a new recipe.  If it’s writing, by golly get to your computer or notepad and get to work.  Are you an artist?  Dust off your paint brushes and get busy!

Embrace the gift you have been given and use it.  Love it.  Enjoy it.  Express it.

Share it!!

I strongly believe our gifts are meant to be loved, embraced, and shared with others.  That is what life is all about.  So get out there and do what you love!!!

Don’t let the naysayers, doubts, Dream Crushers, lack of confidence, or any other thing stop you from using your gift this weekend.  Just do it and watch what happens next.

I can’t wait to hear how it goes!

Until next week friends, have a lovely weekend and as always thanks for reading!

4 Phases To The Life Of Your Dreams

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When I set out to create my coaching model, I began thinking about my own process in creating a coaching practice.  I pondered the struggles, challenges, and frustrations I encountered (and still encounter) and put it all together into a 4-phase model.  This doesn’t mean everyone fits perfectly into one phase or another or even moves through them linearly, but I have found that many people deal with these phases at some point as they move toward their dreams.

Phase 1:  Dream Discovery- I have found there are people who either know what their dream is or they don’t and usually the ones that don’t know simply haven’t labeled a specific hobby, thought, or want as a dream.  There are however, people who have forgotten how to dream.  These are the people who have been taught to move through life based on their core survival needs.  They may go to school and study a subject they are good at or follow in the footsteps of a family member because they were expected to.  They may be in a career that pays the bills, but doesn’t necessarily bring them joy.  They may even be people who don’t know it’s possible to do what you love and get paid for it and are strictly living in a “survival of the fittest” mentality.  daretodream

These are people who need help dreaming again.  They are people that I work with to broaden their horizon about life and open their eyes and minds to having the wonder of a child again.  I help them use their imaginations and allow the restrictions of logical thinking to go out the window and tap into the child that always wanted to ________(fill in the blank).  Too often, we feel we need to grow up and let go of that pipe dream that still lies within us.  The truth is if we tapped into that place more, we would not only be happier, but we would find that life is limitless and there is a power within us that allows us to do ultimately anything!

Phase 2: Feel The Magic- Phase 2 is really about keeping the magical feeling of wonder alive.  It’s about allowing our dreams to take our thoughts where they may and to get into the knowing that anything is possible.  There are some people who know what they want to do, but have difficulty figuring out how to do it because they only see one or two ways.  (I was one of these people.)  Clients in this phase typically have a vision of how they will achieve a specific dream, yet for some reason it hasn’t worked out.  They may be frustrated and stagnant in their dream and need a bit of assistance bringing the magic back to fuel their vision.  I help clients do just that.  I help them tap into the feeling place of the dream and help them to imagine the thousands of ways it could happen.  Once they let go of the notion that it can only be achieved in one specific way, they find a multitude of possibilities that ignite their passion again.magic

I have found this phase to be one that clients come back to again and again as a means to refuel their vision.  Sometimes everyday life can cause us to forget the amazing possibilities that exist in the world as we focus on the “real world” that comes in the form of bills, responsibilities, family, work, etc.  Sometimes we just need to sit back and remember the magic that is all around us and when we do that, we realize anything is possible, even our dream life.

 

Phase 3: Protect Your Dream– Protecting your dream is probably one of the most important pieces of the process.  Once we are able to identify our dream, feel the possibility and magic in it, it is important to ensure we don’t allow Dream Crushers to cause us to doubt ourselves.  We need to also ensure that even during times when we lose some confidence or aren’t sure where to go that we remember what inspired us in the first place and get back to the magical feeling of our vision.  It is there we find additional inspirational nuggets that will lead us to the next step.  protectdream

Phase 3 is really about building self-confidence, dealing with fear, possible failure, and any other nuance that can cause us to doubt the possibility of making dreams a reality.  During this phase I work with clients to get to the core of the doubt and other self-limiting beliefs that are holding them back and can even provide exercises to use between sessions to keep the Dream Crusher thoughts at bay.

Another important note is that as your vision grows and evolves you may revisit this phase more than once on different subjects/issues, but know that each time you move through it with more courage, confidence, and belief in yourself than you had before.

Phase 4:  Live The Dream: At first glance this phase may seem easy.  Sure you go through each of the other phases doing the “work” and then this is where you finally see the benefit of your work.  That is only partially true.  Yes, this phase is about allowing your dream to transition into reality, but it is an ongoing process.  This is where clients implement their ideas and take inspired action to the next step.  Ideally they have created their vision, aligned with the magical essence of it, dealt with any limiting beliefs, and are now confidently flowing toward a new reality, but that isn’t always how it works.

I am seeing many people moving through this phase as they transition through some of the other phases as well.  For instance, someone who knows what they want may begin taking inspired action and come up against struggles and frustrations that cause them to want to give up or they have allowed the beliefs of others to dictate what they can and can’t achieve.livedream

When I created this loose model, I knew instantly it was not going to be a simple linear equation because life isn’t like that.  Life is a journey of discovery and while it would be nice (sometimes) to simply follow a set map from point A to point B, it wouldn’t be nearly as fun and this process is much the same.  A fun, free-flowing process of discovery and evolution that will ultimately lead to a you living a life you once dreamt.

Do you find yourself falling into one or many of the phases above and want to test the life coaching waters?  If so, I am still offering FREE introductory calls to anyone interested in working with me.  Please feel free to send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com to get set up.  I look forward to working with you!