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When OTHER Things Come First…

December 30, 2013 by Lamisha

I have been working on this post for quite a while now and it seems the more I wait to post it, the more inspiration I have to do so.

In working with a client a few weeks ago, we had a conversation about why our dreams take the backseat to more pressing things.  I realized in that moment I too had been putting off many things that would progress my dreams for one reason or another and then it hit me.

Even when we have the inspiration to dive head first into creating the life of our dreams, LIFE still happens.

There are deadlines, work stuff, family stuff, and in general other stuff that seems so much more important in the moment.  Those things take our attention, focus, and energy and leave little for us to use for the things that truly matter to us.  The things we are meant to do and truly love doing.

It puts us in a quandary of sorts.busy

We make excuses as to why we can’t get started on our book or do research for our business.  We make a laundry list of reasons why we simply don’t have the time or the money to give to that thing that we really want and need to.  Laundry, cleaning the house, fixing the car, going to work, taking the kids to soccer, basketball, and ballet all come first.  We argue with ourselves about how selfish it is to think that we should take time away from our children, our jobs, our spouses, our responsibilities to do what we want to do, but is it really a selfish act?

We have to ask ourselves if following our hearts and making room for the things that bring us joy is selfish.  Is it really?  Maybe in the world we are living in it is and what an unhappy place that is.  A place that makes us feel bad for doing something we enjoy and presses upon us the need to serve others and make other people happy while sacrificing our own.

Before I head down a rabbit hole of how terrible the world can be, let me stop and say that I don’t believe our choice lies between selfish and selfless living.  Nor is it a question of doing one thing over the other.  I suggest a compromise.  A meeting and melding of two worlds that creates a necessary balance between selfish and selfless acts.  A space where needs are met and dreams are lived.

Are you with me?

What I propose is simple.  So simple you may even wonder why you didn’t implement it long ago.  That simple step is this.

Instead of diving into your day checking off items on your to-do list and rushing to and fro, why not set a sacred space for your dream?

Call it the Dream Hour or Selfish Session or something a bit more personal ( and catchy).  It doesn’t matter what you call it, what matters is what you do with that time.

Set a specific amount of time each day at the beginning of your day to give to your dream.  You don’t have to operate using lists and an agenda either.  Simply show up for a set amount of time and commit that time to making progress on your dream.  If it’s writing, then write or read what you have written.  Are you a singer?  Then sing your song or listen to inspiring artists.

Make your dreams, your purpose, your passions a priority in your life, otherwise they will always end up being an afterthought in your long, busy day.  

Your dreams deserve the space to thrive, so what difference does 30-60 minutes a day make when you are creating a life that you love?  If you are like many, you might even spend more time than that on social media sites.

Don’t wait for the New Year to get started either, start today.  I promise you won’t be sorry you did.

Filed Under: Coaching, Goals, Inspiration, Intention, New Year, Planning Tagged With: dreams, goals, life coach, priority, space

2013 Reflection-Look How Far You’ve Come

December 26, 2013 by Lamisha

Hello my lovely dreamers!

I apologize for my sudden time off of the blog, but with Christmas and some pending deadlines just before the holiday, I found myself a bit scattered.  As I work to get back on track, I thought I would share with you a bit about what the next week and a half will be about here on the blog.

As the New Year approaches, many of us are looking to make some changes.  Some big and maybe a few small changes and as we plan to make 2014 the best year yet, I have a few things planned here on the blog.

Last year, I wrote a few posts about how I was going to plan for 2013 with a Letter to Myself, a vision board, and selecting a theme for the year.  This year, I have a few ideas for making changes for the new year along with some other inspiring posts to get us all started on the right foot.  I hope you will join me in this end of year reflection and planning as the new year approaches.  I have a feeling it’s going to be a good one for all of us.

The process of reflection is an important piece that many of us miss as we look to make changes.  We get so excited for what is to come, that we often forget to look back at all of our accomplishments and challenges.  This is meant to give you a clear picture of how far you have come as well as provide an opportunity to really celebrate the past year.  The lessons, challenges, and successes are all part of how you got to where you are today and reflecting on that can be invaluable for the future.  Michelle Ward keeps track of her “wins” throughout the year so she can reflect back on it at the end of the year in celebration.  You can read her 2013 re-cap here.

Even if you haven’t collected your wins throughout the year, this exercise is a great way to get started on your reflection.  Think back to all the things you started, made progress on, and completed in the past year.  Write them down, celebrate them and recognize your progress.  You might even take it one step further and take note of any challenges you overcame during the year that you are particularly proud of.

Every year is something to celebrate and before you begin to make plans for 2014, take a step back and review how far you have come.

My list of wins include:

  • Taking the leap to create my coaching framework (April)
  • Successfully working with my wonderful guinea pig client (May)
  • Reaching my 1 year mark of blogging (October)
  • Working with a total of 5 clients (from August to December)

While I am sure there are many others that I am missing, the biggest thing for me this year was taking the leap into my dream career and committing myself to helping clients live their dreams.  It is my gift, my calling, and my purpose and I love doing what I do.

Take some time this week to reflect on 2013.  What wins would you put on your list?

Filed Under: Blog, Coaching, Goals, Life, New Year, Planning, Reflection Tagged With: 2013, life coach, planning, reflection, wins

This is What I Know…

December 11, 2013 by Lamisha

I don’t know it all and can’t seem to learn enough, but here are a few things I know about you, me, and the dreams we want to achieve…

  • Everything and I mean EVERYTHING you want to achieve begins with a thought so allow yourself the time and space to daydream, visualize, and use your imagination to craft the most amazing scenarios of what your life can be. That is where the creative process begins, with a simple thought.
  • There is no dream that is too big to achieve.  Seriously, if you would’ve told me 10 years ago that I would eventually start my own business and be working with clients, I would’ve laughed at you.  At that point in my life the dream was too big to even consider, but I now know whatever you want to do, you can. Period.
  • You have a gift and it is meant to be used, given, shared, and highlighted in this life.  Use it, gift it, apply it, but whatever you do, don’t waste it.  Life is too precious to leave your song unsung, your book unwritten, or your dreams undone.  Stop questioning if you are good enough, special enough, or gifted enough to do it.  You absolutely are!
  • You are meant to do great things, thrive, and enjoy life.  It’s what life is all about.  So, stop questioning your worth, let go of the stories you keep telling yourself about why or how or when you will be able to do XYZ and just do it!
  • No matter where you are in your life, there will always be another excuse to wait.  There is no “perfect” time to do anything.  The best time is to start today.
  • Simple steps turn into big hits of inspiration that open doors of opportunities you never knew were possible.  Even the most miniscule act can create enough momentum to provide more progress than you know.
  • Your intuition is your guidance and when you are tapped into it, it will guide you along your path almost effortlessly.  The formula? Do what feels good and right and perfect…for YOU.
  • You don’t have to know the “how”, the “when” or the “why” right now.  Just trust that you will know the steps to take when the time is right and I promise you will be amazed at the resources, time, money, and contacts that arrive exactly when you need them.
  • Magic is real and so is your dream.  Believe in it, trust in it, and have faith that it is coming together even when you can’t see the physical signs.
  • You are supported always, 100% of the time.  There are people, friends, coaches, mentors, and others that will form your tribe to encourage and uplift you when you need it.
  • Taking a leap of faith allows the net to appear for you.  It is amazing what positive expectations can do.  It is true for me and it is true for you.  Try it. Trust it. Do it.
  • Have fun!  If I have learned nothing else on this journey it is to have fun and let loose.  Being playful opens you to receive an abundance of inspiration, opportunities, and energy to accomplish your dreams.  So don’t waste your days sitting in an office trying to make something happen.  Give yourself some doodle space. 🙂

What have you learned about yourself and your dreams this year?  Are you interested in learning more about what coaching is and how it can help you achieve your dreams?  I am offering free 60-minute sessions to any and all new clients to work on any issue, challenge, dream, goal, etc. in December and January and the slots are filling up fast.  If you are interested, contact me here to schedule your session.  I promise you won’t be sorry you did!

Filed Under: Coaching, Inspiration, journey, Lessons, Life Tagged With: dreams, gift, know, lessons, life coach, play, trust

Accessing The Expert Within

December 9, 2013 by Lamisha

If I have learned anything this past year, or more accurately in the past month or so, it is the importance of listening to your intuition and making decisions that are right for you.  I have far too often fallen into the trap of wanting to always make the right decision whether it is in my business, family life, or other more mundane tasks like buying the right products.

You see, something you may not know about me is that I was very much a Ms. Goodie Two Shoes when I was younger.  Growing up I would beam with confidence when I received my gold stars for a job well done.  If the teacher was looking for a volunteer, I had my hand raised faster than she could blink.  I aimed to please and I wanted nothing more than to receive an abundance of accolades from the people I looked up to.  It doesn’t sound all that bad right?  I mean after all, I was on honor roll more often than not and I did very well in school.  But the downside to it all is that my delicate confidence depended on what other people thought of me and my decisions.  (Imagine the turmoil that ensued when my mother found out I was not her straight-laced-heterosexual daughter, but instead I was her seemingly-straight-laced-gay daughter….(gasp!))

While I have managed to step out of my comfort zone and do things the non-traditional (sometimes very non-traditional) way, I realized about a month ago that I still had this habit of seeking advice, knowledge, and insight about what I should do because I wanted to do what was right.  I didn’t want to make a mistake.  I wanted to select the perfect logo, find the perfect business name, and set up the perfect website that would draw in clients from every corner of the world.

I wanted everything to be perfect and I wanted everyone to like my new business (and me).

But the problem was that every comment, opinion, thought, and insight created a battle inside me, a battle between my gut/intuition and the oh-so-wise thoughts of someone else.  It was a battle that left me feeling more confused than ever and it wasn’t until I received a series of particularly hurtful comments that I finally realized what the struggle was about.

The struggle inside myself was a struggle against my inner knowing….the expert within.  You see, when you set out to fulfill your life’s calling there is a feeling you get that doesn’t go away.  It’s the feeling you feel when you first figure out what you want to do and the same feeling that keeps you moving forward when things get tough.  It’s the voice that tells you that it’s going to be alright and you will have all the things you need to make it happen.  It’s the resonance you feel when you meet people on your path who are exactly who you needed to meet to move to the next step.

That feeling, that voice, that resonance…is YOU.  medium_10770581383

Over the years, I have tried to live in a way that pleased those I deemed “experts” in life and when I set out on my journey to create a new business, I started moving down a similar path until my inner expert reminded me that I will find my way and know what direction to go because it will simply feel right for me.  It may not be right for everyone and it certainly won’t be the same path someone else took to get there, but it is mine and my inner expert will guide me to where I need to be, and yours will too.

You don’t need someone to map out your plan for you.  You have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom within you that will guide you along the way and you will know you are on your right path because it will feel right…for you.

You may be asking yourself if we all have inner experts then why in the world would we hire a life coach or anyone else to help us???

The truth is sometimes your inner expert will guide you to a life coach or someone else to help you on your path because it’s what you need.  As a coach I never tell my clients what they should or shouldn’t do.  Instead, we discuss the challenges, concerns, and struggles that may be holding them back from moving forward and when they are ready to make a decision, I help them tap into their own inner expert so they know what is right for them.  I also hold them accountable along their journey so that pesky thing we know as fear doesn’t get in the way of their incredible potential.

Whatever decisions you have to make as this year comes to an end don’t question whether it is the right or wrong decision based on someone else’s opinion instead, tap into the expert within and know that he/she will not lead you astray.

You are wiser than you believe yourself to be!

photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc

Filed Under: Authenticity, Coaching, Inspiration, journey, Life, Perfection Tagged With: dream, expert, inner wisdom, intuition, life coaching, potential

Where’s Your Doodle Space?

December 2, 2013 by Lamisha

I am so happy to be back on the blog today after a much-needed and much enjoyed few days off.  In fact, just before taking a few days off for Thanksgiving, I had a discussion with my life coach about just how important it is to create space in order to relax, regroup, and allow the thoughts, ideas, and inspiration to flow.  My coach called this space my “margin”.  You know like the margins on a piece of paper.

Being a visual learner it seemed like a perfect analogy for what I was not doing very well.  Instead of allowing myself extra space to fill in with fun thoughts, ideas, and doodles, I have been writing on every single, teeny, tiny space that is provided.  And then after I have tired myself out with all the extra “stuff”, I find myself annoyed, tired, and frustrated that I am having a hard time filling it in with doodles.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/linderesa/7925910376/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/linderesa/7925910376/

Why can’t I write, doodle, and create beautiful things??? Umm, maybe it’s because I was filling my space with a bunch of filler stuff that just made me feel (momentarily) like I had completed some monumental task…(ahem-laundry?).  The truth is that while I felt for a moment like I had accomplished a great deal, I wasn’t allowing myself to have fun.  I wasn’t being playful or allowing myself to relax.  So, what better time to relax than when family is in town for a holiday?

I decided that during my Thanksgiving time off I was not going to worry about work, writing, or anything else that I felt needed to be done.  I was going to allow myself the time and space to just enjoy the time off.  Simply put-it was awesome!!!

Did I come up with some magical ideas to take my business to another level or come up with an amazing book idea?  Nope. I just enjoyed time with my family, watched a few holiday movies (which I LOVE), and I read a bit.  I slept, ate, and enjoyed life.  In fact, most of my 4 days off was my “margin” time and it was incredible.

And you want to hear something funny?  I tell my clients to do the exact same thing, yet as a coach it can be difficult to remember.

It’s easy to set an intention and go-go-go until it is done, but that can often lead to a quick burn-out.  Instead of living your dream like it’s a sprint, enjoy the marathon.  It’s not about how quickly you get this done, because you will only come up with something else to accomplish next.  Instead of focusing on the end result, focus on enjoying the path and watching it unfold.  If that means making space for your doodles and allowing yourself the time to be playful and fun, do it!  I promise you will feel happier, healthier, and more inspired than ever before and you might even move closer to your dreams in new and exciting ways.

Today I encourage you to put down your to-do list, turn off your phone, log out of your email, and follow your heart to create a bit of doodle space.  I assure you it is well worth your time, even if you find yourself just relaxing outdoors or reading a good book.  Allow your intuition to guide you as to how to fill it in and if you can, implement a bit of room in your schedule for magical surprises to pop up…ya never know when a new one will appear. 🙂
photo credit: Linderesa via photopin cc

Filed Under: Blog, Coaching, Inspiration, Intention, Life, Planning Tagged With: creative space, doodle space, life coaching, margin, space, time

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