Lamisha Serf-Walls

7 Ways to Cope When Life Just SUCKS

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photo credit: Away via photopin (license)
photo credit: Away via photopin (license)

Sometimes life just sucks and no matter how much you know you ‘should’ slap on a happy face, shift your thoughts, and get into the feeling place of a great life…you’d much rather scream, rant, and complain.

I get it.  Believe me I do!

Over the past few months, I’ve had my moments of zen-calm-peaceful-warrior as well as my moments (more like weeks) of everything-is-falling-apart-before-my-very-eyes-and-life-sucks.

Yep, I’m human.

And I just so happen to be a human who is a mother, wife, business owner, and I’m selling a house at the moment.  (There’s more to the story, but I’ll just leave it at that.)

To put it simply, things haven’t felt exactly easy.  They’ve been challenging and chaotic and to be honest…sometimes life has been rather sucky.

But, as I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I’m realizing that if I had to do it all over again, there are a few things I’d like to remember.  (You know, in case things ever feel like this again.  I mean it is life after all and while I’d love to be lotus-posed-zen-calm-peaceful-warrior all the time, I’m not.)

How to cope when life just SUCKS:

  • Feel the feels.  I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I’m a BIG believer that emotions are generally better out than in.  I’m a heart-felt, emotional person so when I’m frustrated, angry, sad, depressed, or even happy I tend to cry.  It’s the overwhelm of emotion that tends to get to me and I have to let it out! So, when life sucks…feel what you feel and own it.  By allowing it to flow, you let go of any resistance and things begin to look up much faster than you thought possible.

 

  • Flip the script.  When shit hits the fan and life gets a bit sucky, it can be all to easy to ask “Well what’s gonna happen next?” I beg you to NEVER ask this question.  When you do, life (ahem and the Universe) shows you exactly what else can happen next.  A better question to ask is…’How can it get any better than this?’.  Even if you are feeling a bit snarky and ask it sarcastically, the Universe WILL show you how it can and will get better.

 

  • Find the miracle.  (Putting my zen-cap back on.) One of the most simple ways of shifting your mindset when things really suck is to find the miracles and magic all around you.  I don’t care how small it might seem in the moment.  A miracle is a miracle and it can be something as simple as finding a penny on the ground or seeing a sunset.  Notice it.  Write it down and keep looking for more.  Eventually the miracles will multiply and life will go from being sucky to lucky. (ya see what I did there?)

 

  • Screw “reality”. I say this a lot and for some it’s a bit confusing, but let me explain.  When things in life feel a bit or just down right shitty, the LAST thing you want to do is keep focusing on the very things that make you feel bad.  For instance, looking at your bank balance when you know that it’s teetering around zero (or when it’s in the red) or reading the statistics about health conditions, job statistics, or whatever people deem to be ‘hard-core-facts’ about your given situation.  Allowing your outer reality to set your inner vibration is a surefire way to keep attracting more of the same.  Focus on the problem, you get more problems or in the least more crappy feelings that then attract equal vibration problems.  You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, so ignore reality for a bit.  Shift your focus completely and go back to finding the miracles around you.  I promise the sooner you do, the easier things will become.

 

  • Own the manifestation & shift it.  This one hurts a bit, but it’s true.  YOU are a powerful creator and as such, you have the power to manifest the best of things and the worst of things.  Your thoughts, feelings, inner dialogue, beliefs, experiences etc. all feed into the overall vibration of who you are and it creates your reality.  YOU manifest for yourself…not anyone else, so when life gets sucky, it’s best to own it and shift it.  In fact, anytime you begin to feel a bit of negative emotion or when things get challenging check-in and see how you’ve been feeling overall.  What are your dominant thoughts?  Then shift them.  The sooner you do, the sooner life shifts too!

 

  • Activate your mindset practice.  If you don’t already have a mindset practice, now is the time to create one and use it!  While it is typically best used as a daily practice, using it during times when you desperately need to shift your mindset and beliefs to something a bit more positive can be just the thing you need.  Your mindset practice may include reading/writing affirmations, meditating, visualization, using EFT tapping or something else entirely, but when you use it as a daily practice AND as an anchor to raise your vibration when you need it most, it’s priceless!  If you don’t already have a mindset practice, create one today!

 

  • Reach out and ask for help.  Listen, you weren’t meant to live life on your own nor were you meant to solve all the problems by yourself.  Sometimes reaching out to a friend, mentor, coach, or family member to vent can be just what you need to see that things really aren’t as bad as you think.  You don’t have to go it alone.  Reach out and ASK for help.

I want to hear from YOU!  How do you cope when life gets a bit sucky?  What is your go-to method for turning the corner and getting yourself back on track?  Post in the comments below!

Something Life Coaches Probably Shouldn’t Say (But I’m saying it!)

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photo credit: Back doors. via photopin (license)
photo credit: Back doors. via photopin (license)

I’m gonna just cut to the chase here.

When shit hits the fan, life begins to feel weird, or you are going through a major life transition and emotions and such come up to be released…you have my permission to WALLOW.

Yes, that’s right.

Today I’m giving you permission to wallow and it’s probably something life coaches shouldn’t say, but you’re human.

I’m human.

We are all human and we all on occasion have situations that call for a bit of a wallow period.

It’s actually a normal and very healthy part of living if you ask me, but it’s something so many people will tell you NOT to do.

“Look at the bright side.” they say.

“Focus on the positive.”

“Think happy thoughts.”

And while normally I would agree with many of those statements, there comes a time when you just need to feel the feels.

Cry. Take a day off.  Cry some more.  Take a walk.  Journal about your feelings or simply sit with them and let them be there for a bit.

Crying is cathartic.  It’s part of the healing process for many and it’s a form of release both energetically and emotionally.  It allows you to let the energy of the past and frustrations of the present to pass on by so you can make room for the higher vibration emotions.

As a coach who empowers others and speaks so highly of mindset work, it might be a bit weird to hear this coming from me, but believe me when I say I am speaking from experience!

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows and as the old saying goes, you can’t have rainbows without a little rain. 

So embrace it.  Allow it. And if you feel the need to wallow…wallow baby.

BUT…

And this is a big but, (I cannot lie).

Don’t get stuck there.  Don’t allow your emotions to be so overwhelming that they consume you, holding you hostage.

Resisting emotions and “thinking happy thoughts” to avoid the release isn’t healthy, and neither is swimming in hurricane of emotions for weeks or months.

It’s about balance.

Allow the emotions to come up to be released and then begin moving forward again.

Trust YOUR process.

My process is generally 1-2 days of wallowing (usually closer to 1) and then I’m back in action.  Your process might be a bit different.

It might include a few days of social media detox, hot showers, and settling in with a really good book, but whatever your process is…do it!

Emotions aren’t bad things, in fact they are the very things that make us human.  They are important.

And while yes, they are also what create our reality, the more you resist the seemingly ‘negative’ emotions, the bigger they become and the bigger the shit storm is in your life.  (True story.)

So…if life’s been a bit rocky lately or you are going through a transition and are feeling out of sorts…this is your permission to wallow baby.

But…promise me you won’t get stuck there too long ok?

Tissues anyone?

Do something that scares you…

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photo credit: The Ukelele Warrior via photopin (license)
photo credit: The Ukelele Warrior via photopin (license)

About a year ago I decided to take a leap of faith before I was entirely ready.

In September 2014 I submitted an article to the Huffington Post. To my surprise they liked my article and I became a regular blogger for their site.

(My latest article titled: 11 (More) Universal Truths that Will Change Your Life for the Better is here.  Feel free to read and share it with those you think need to see it.)

The second article that I submitted got raving reviews and is still a HUGE hit on the site.   A few weeks later it was such a big hit, they translated it to be published on Huffington Post Spain.

Talk about shocked!

Women from all over the world were reaching out to me after that article because they wanted my help. My words resonated deep within them and they wanted to create change in their lives.

I was in awe.

Amazed.

Humbled.

My words created a stir within so many souls and since then I’ve been writing, sharing, and creating programs from the heart to serve and inspire women like YOU.

Yesterday the sequel to the first article was published and I’m celebrating this huge moment by sharing the article with you in hopes that it inspires you to take a leap of faith of your own.

Your leap may look different than mine.

Maybe you decide to go back to school, start writing your novel, or reach out to a coach you’ve been wanting to work with.

Maybe it’s auditioning for a large (or small) role in a play or starting your own Etsy shop, or submitting your latest poems to be used on a greeting card.

Whatever it is…do it.

The truth is you may never feel 100% ready to take the leap.  When I wrote the first article, I know I didn’t feel ‘ready’.  I was inspired to do it and saw it as a challenge.  Looking back it was exactly what I needed to do to continue to grow and evolve and I’m so glad I took the risk.

Today I want YOU to take your own risk.  Don’t think about it, just do it.

Then let it go…

The truth is you are never truly ‘ready’ to do the big things, but when you feel it in your heart…you just know you HAVE to take the leap.

If you are looking for some inspiration and support for your very own leap, I’d love to chat with you.  If you are READY to kick the doubts, fears, and other BS to the curb and make magic happen in your life & you are ready to invest in YOU.  Schedule your FREE 30-Minute Consultation to chat with me about how I can help you make that happen.

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Why are you settling??? It’s time to break FREE.

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photo credit: Butterfly Abstract via photopin (license)
photo credit: Butterfly Abstract via photopin (license)

***Before I get into today’s post, I want to invite you to check out my latest article that has been a huge hit over at The Huffington Post titled : 6 Ways to Find Your Passion & Live Your Purpose. ***

Now for today’s post.

I’ve noticed something over the last few years and it’s really getting under my skin. In fact,  it has become so prevalent and obvious in the last few months I want to set the record straight

Somehow, we have become a culture that believes that while you can have a mostly awesome life, you can’t have everything you want no matter how how hard you try.

There are many people who have come to accept that if you have a fabulous career you love, your relationships have to suck.

OR If you have an amazing relationship, you can’t have all the riches your heart desires.

OR If you have all the money you desire, you might have to enjoy it all alone. (The list goes on. )

It’s as if they believe they are undeserving of having it all and living the life of their dreams is some myth that only happens in fairy tales.

Well I call bullshit.

Who are you not to have it all?

Who are you not to have the love, the riches, the joy, the career, the family, the fame, and anything else your heart desires?

That is what life is all about.  Living, loving, sharing, expanding, and experiencing all that life has to offer.

Do you know what happens when you believe that you can’t have it all?

You settle.

You settle for the parts of your life that aren’t working because you believe that if most of your life is going well, who are you to complain?

But I’m here to tell you this; You don’t have to settle and you certainly don’t have to accept that because 80% of your life IS working that the remaining 20%  has to remain a struggle.

Now, I’ll be honest and say that I USED to think that way.

I thought that if my business was booming and money was flowing that my relationship had to take a fall.  Or if things were really amazing in my love life, then my business and income had to tank.

And you know what happened?  I manifested those very things.

When things were running smoothly in my relationship and in life in general, I somehow sabotaged things in my career.  And when I had a really amazing month in my business, I’d start an argument with my partner.

It as as if I just couldn’t handle all the good at once and I had to have something to worry about.

It took a few years of learning, growing, and lots of life lessons to get to this point, but now I see it and can make changes in my mindset and in my beliefs when I start feeling myself settling.

The truth is, you CAN work through the BS that is holding you back no matter how long you’ve struggled with it…but it’s difficult to do alone.

Lucky for you, this is my specialty and is the EXACT reason I set up the 30-Day Break Free From Stuck program.

If you feel:

  • Like you are settling in your career, relationship, or life in general
  • STUCK in one area of your life that just isn’t working for you
  • Like you’ve done all you can and still can’t make that last 20% of your life work for you

It’s time we had a chat.  I am a firm believer in reaching out and asking for help and I’ve seen amazing miracles happen when I’ve done that myself.

If you are ready to break free and make magic happen in your life once and for all, schedule a free 30-Minute Consultation to chat about what’s going on.

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There are lots of reasons you shouldn’t give up, but only 1 reason you should.

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In the last two years of my business there have been moments when I seriously thought about throwing in the towel.  Moments when I thought I’d be better off dropping my dream all together and jumping back into the work force.

It wasn’t because I didn’t love what I was doing.  Not at all.

It was because things got hard, I got frustrated, and I felt lost.

I felt stuck and instead of listening to my intuition, I ignored it entirely.

Instead of asking for help or allowing it in, I thought I had to do it all by my little lonesome.

In short, it sucked!

And as I write this I am getting ready to celebrate my 2 year anniversary in my business in just a few days and I couldn’t be happier! I can’t believe I made it this far and what was once only a dream is now my current reality.

I had a TON of reasons I could’ve quit before.  I could’ve quit because:

  • Money wasn’t flowing
  • Potential clients were saying ‘No thanks’
  • Things got really hard
  • I didn’t know how to move forward
  • I was afraid I’d put all of my passion and it wouldn’t ‘work’

But despite it all, ultimately, I loved what I was doing.

When I get calls from clients telling me they took their big leap into something they never thought possible, I remember my why.

When I cry with clients as they have amazing breakthroughs and aha’s because I can relate to them so much, I remember my why.

And when I have that first call with a potential client who is sharing with me their hopes and desires for what they hope their life will become with my help, I remember my why.

The truth is this work that I do is far more than just a business.  It’s my passion and purpose and despite the fact that things have at times looked as though they weren’t ‘working’, that passion has never ceased.

When you are moving in the direction of your dreams with passion in your heart and purpose in your soul, there will be lots of moments of learning, growing, and evolving.

There will be times when you want to quit.  Times when everything on the outside looks broken and you wonder if it will ultimately work.

There will be many, many, many reasons to throw in the towel as you wonder if you are strong enough, smart enough, or if you are doing enough to make your dreams come true.

And the ONLY time you should quit, is if that passion and purpose have gone.

When your heart isn’t in it and the love for your vision transforms into something else as it may, that is the only time you should ‘quit’.

But honestly, that isn’t even quitting in my book.  That is simply a transformation of a dream into another vision that lights you up and sets your soul on fire and that can never be deemed a failure nor are you a quitter.

Dreams unfold and transform as much as we do and while you may have many reasons to ‘quit’, don’t do it unless your heart truly isn’t in it.

Keep going.  Keep reaching.  Keep dreaming and trust in the passion in your heart.  When you do…magic happens.

In other news, August is a HUGE month for me and my business.  Not only is August 1st the second anniversary of my business, but my birthday is on the 13th and with that comes BIG celebrations & gifts for YOU.

Introducing the 13 Days & 13 Ways of Giving!!!

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For 13 days I am giving gifts, services, paying it forward, and creating very special offers for my tribe and allowing that to filter over into the community.  I’d love for you to be a part of this amazing vision and you can do that in a few ways.

  • Join my Love Your Life Tribe for exclusive gifts for my tribe members only
  • Sign up for my VIP List to get access to special giveaways for VIP’s only
  • Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to stay up to date on how, when, and where I am gifting for all 13 days.
  • Share in the giving by posting your own 13 Ways of Giving using the #13WaysOfGiving on social media

Paying it forward, sharing the love, and really creating a community of love, joy, and good will has always been near and dear to my heart and I’m so excited to share what I am cooking up for you!