Lamisha Serf-Walls

2013 Reflection-Look How Far You’ve Come

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Hello my lovely dreamers!

I apologize for my sudden time off of the blog, but with Christmas and some pending deadlines just before the holiday, I found myself a bit scattered.  As I work to get back on track, I thought I would share with you a bit about what the next week and a half will be about here on the blog.

As the New Year approaches, many of us are looking to make some changes.  Some big and maybe a few small changes and as we plan to make 2014 the best year yet, I have a few things planned here on the blog.

Last year, I wrote a few posts about how I was going to plan for 2013 with a Letter to Myself, a vision board, and selecting a theme for the year.  This year, I have a few ideas for making changes for the new year along with some other inspiring posts to get us all started on the right foot.  I hope you will join me in this end of year reflection and planning as the new year approaches.  I have a feeling it’s going to be a good one for all of us.

The process of reflection is an important piece that many of us miss as we look to make changes.  We get so excited for what is to come, that we often forget to look back at all of our accomplishments and challenges.  This is meant to give you a clear picture of how far you have come as well as provide an opportunity to really celebrate the past year.  The lessons, challenges, and successes are all part of how you got to where you are today and reflecting on that can be invaluable for the future.  Michelle Ward keeps track of her “wins” throughout the year so she can reflect back on it at the end of the year in celebration.  You can read her 2013 re-cap here.

Even if you haven’t collected your wins throughout the year, this exercise is a great way to get started on your reflection.  Think back to all the things you started, made progress on, and completed in the past year.  Write them down, celebrate them and recognize your progress.  You might even take it one step further and take note of any challenges you overcame during the year that you are particularly proud of.

Every year is something to celebrate and before you begin to make plans for 2014, take a step back and review how far you have come.

My list of wins include:

  • Taking the leap to create my coaching framework (April)
  • Successfully working with my wonderful guinea pig client (May)
  • Reaching my 1 year mark of blogging (October)
  • Working with a total of 5 clients (from August to December)

While I am sure there are many others that I am missing, the biggest thing for me this year was taking the leap into my dream career and committing myself to helping clients live their dreams.  It is my gift, my calling, and my purpose and I love doing what I do.

Take some time this week to reflect on 2013.  What wins would you put on your list?

Where’s Your Doodle Space?

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I am so happy to be back on the blog today after a much-needed and much enjoyed few days off.  In fact, just before taking a few days off for Thanksgiving, I had a discussion with my life coach about just how important it is to create space in order to relax, regroup, and allow the thoughts, ideas, and inspiration to flow.  My coach called this space my “margin”.  You know like the margins on a piece of paper.

Being a visual learner it seemed like a perfect analogy for what I was not doing very well.  Instead of allowing myself extra space to fill in with fun thoughts, ideas, and doodles, I have been writing on every single, teeny, tiny space that is provided.  And then after I have tired myself out with all the extra “stuff”, I find myself annoyed, tired, and frustrated that I am having a hard time filling it in with doodles.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/linderesa/7925910376/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/linderesa/7925910376/

Why can’t I write, doodle, and create beautiful things??? Umm, maybe it’s because I was filling my space with a bunch of filler stuff that just made me feel (momentarily) like I had completed some monumental task…(ahem-laundry?).  The truth is that while I felt for a moment like I had accomplished a great deal, I wasn’t allowing myself to have fun.  I wasn’t being playful or allowing myself to relax.  So, what better time to relax than when family is in town for a holiday?

I decided that during my Thanksgiving time off I was not going to worry about work, writing, or anything else that I felt needed to be done.  I was going to allow myself the time and space to just enjoy the time off.  Simply put-it was awesome!!!

Did I come up with some magical ideas to take my business to another level or come up with an amazing book idea?  Nope. I just enjoyed time with my family, watched a few holiday movies (which I LOVE), and I read a bit.  I slept, ate, and enjoyed life.  In fact, most of my 4 days off was my “margin” time and it was incredible.

And you want to hear something funny?  I tell my clients to do the exact same thing, yet as a coach it can be difficult to remember.

It’s easy to set an intention and go-go-go until it is done, but that can often lead to a quick burn-out.  Instead of living your dream like it’s a sprint, enjoy the marathon.  It’s not about how quickly you get this done, because you will only come up with something else to accomplish next.  Instead of focusing on the end result, focus on enjoying the path and watching it unfold.  If that means making space for your doodles and allowing yourself the time to be playful and fun, do it!  I promise you will feel happier, healthier, and more inspired than ever before and you might even move closer to your dreams in new and exciting ways.

Today I encourage you to put down your to-do list, turn off your phone, log out of your email, and follow your heart to create a bit of doodle space.  I assure you it is well worth your time, even if you find yourself just relaxing outdoors or reading a good book.  Allow your intuition to guide you as to how to fill it in and if you can, implement a bit of room in your schedule for magical surprises to pop up…ya never know when a new one will appear. 🙂
photo credit: Linderesa via photopin cc

Your Dream Is Ready…Are You?

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Many times in coaching, I come across people who might need my help, but they just aren’t ready to take action.  Some of them have absolutely no clue about what they want to achieve and are merely moving from one day to the next trying to survive (and not just financially either).  These people are going through their days doing the things they are “supposed” to do (ya know working, paying bills, taking care of their family etc.) and while they feel like something might be missing, they have done very little to figure out what that is.  They might be fearful of what is waiting on the other side or simply have forgotten what it feels like to dream again.  These are the people who do such a magnificent job living in the moment for what it has to offer, while not thinking too far ahead.

Then there are the dreamers, the visionaries, and the self-development seekers.  These are the people who are always working toward something.  They have an idea of what they want but may not know how to get there.  They are excited for what the future may hold, but they are stuck in fear, anxiety, or lack the confidence to move forward.  These are also people who feel that something is missing and are ready to find out what that is.  They dream, they envision, they imagine, and more often than not they have stars in their eyes for that moment when they finally feel like they are living their purpose and enjoying the journey of growth and evolution.

image from www.searchquotes.com
image from www.searchquotes.com

Both of these groups are stuck in one form or another, but the latter group feels the pull to move forward into the unknown.  They are willing to risk leaving their comfort zone in order to see what else is out there.  They are ready for that first step and many times that first step begins when they reach out to me to find out how this coaching thing works.  Their interest was sparked just enough to make them wonder and imagine what they can accomplish with a little help.

Have you ever thought about what category you fall into?  Both groups have their strengths and regardless of where you may fall, you too have a wealth of potential that you can use in this life.

The question is, when you feel that pull and you wonder what might be missing…are you willing to take the steps to figure it out?

Here is what I have learned since taking the leap of faith into my dreams.

  • If you feel like you were meant to do something more than what you are currently doing…you are probably right.
  • Taking the leap is far more exciting than scary
  • All it takes is a simple, tiny step to get the momentum rolling
  • Once you are on the path, the pull gets stronger and the inspiration that follows will remind you to just keep going

Will you take that step?  Are you ready to drop the excuses, let go of the fear, and dive into your heart’s desire?  If so, I would love to chat with you.  I am still offering a free full-length 60-minute session to get a jump-start on 2014.  Not only is this an amazing opportunity to make progress on your plans for 2014, but it is also a great way for you to see what it is like to work with me with no obligation on your part other than an open mind.  Sign-up by contacting me here and we can get your session scheduled ASAP.  Seriously, what do you have to lose???

Lessons Learned: Business Building, Worry, and Meditation

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Each time I write one of these posts, I am more amazed at the evolution that is taking place in my personally and in my life.  I am an avid reader and student of life, so I have always wanted to analyze situations and dig a little deeper to find the lessons in most situations, but somehow articulating them here on my blog helps me to focus on them even more.  I hope you find value in them as well.

With that said let’s get to the lessons shall we?

Lesson:  Like building anything, building a business happens in layers and sometimes piece-by-piece.

When I envisioned my coaching business, I saw a booming business with an abundance of one-on-one clients, workshops, seminars, workbooks, books, retreats, etc.  What I did not see was all the behind the coaching stuff.  I didn’t know what I didn’t know and am quickly learning that building a business takes time and it comes in layers.  Much like bricklayers lay each brick on top of the last, I am building my business.  I learned this week that not only is it ok for it to be this way, it’s normal.  Just as I am evolving and changing, my business will do the same and as long as I add to it layer-by-layer, I can enjoy the process as it unfolds.  Enjoying the journey is the most important part!

Lesson:  Worry is worthless. worry

Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I have reminded myself of this fact, I would be rich.  This week in the middle of being blessed with an abundance of writing projects in addition to my day job and my business building, I had a little bit of worry about how I could get it all done.  My mind ran wild as I calculated the number of hours it would take to get everything done.  I was even trying to ration the time so each project got a portion of my time to get it all done.  I quickly learned that the time I spent worrying could be better spent doing something else.  Once I let go of the “how”, I got busy and did what I could with the time I had.  While I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to, I made progress and I wasn’t nearly as stressed.  I count that as a win.  If you are worrying about anything right now, just let it go because it really is worthless.

Lesson: Meditation is my medicine.

Since I have begun a more regular meditation practice (at least 5 days a week) the results have been amazing.  I have been far more calm, less stressed, more focused, and generally more balanced in my thinking/being.  In the last two weeks (especially this week) I have allowed my many responsibilities take precedent over my meditation practice.  While I could feel the stress and frustrations beginning to return, I kept trying to convince myself that I just didn’t have the time.  The Universe decided to prove to me I did have the time.

meditateYesterday after dropping my son off at daycare, I decided to treat myself to a cup of coffee and pay for the person behind me as a nice start to the day.  Upon returning home, I was on my way out the door to take the dogs for a little walk and all I could think of was how little time I had in the morning to tackle my to-do list.  Walking out the door and locking it behind me, I realized what I thought were keys in my pocket were not.  Luckily it was my phone and I was able to call my partner so she could come let me back in.  So what do you do when it’s 7am and you are locked out of the house?  I guess you could do many things, but I decided to watch the sunrise and spend some time meditating outdoors.  I then took myself and the dogs for a stroll around the neighborhood.

When I was able to get back inside, I felt calmer, more peaceful, and ready to tackle the day.  Now I know that meditation is my medicine or more like a vitamin nourishing my soul and protecting me from becoming unbalanced.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and find some time to get outdoors and enjoy the beautiful colors and weather where you are.  And if you have never meditated, try it out and see if you feel some of the same centering effects I do.

Thanks for reading!

Living My Dream

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Wow what a difference a year makes!  Today is officially the one year anniversary for my blog.  It started as a past-time to keep me inspired and engaged while I waited for the pieces to fall into place for my ultimate dream career.  When I began I didn’t think that a year in I would have launched my business and be on my way to helping others follow their hearts to do the same.  It’s been a pretty amazing journey and looking back I can see how creating this blog was the single step that built the momentum for the rest of it to fall into place.

realityWhen I began, I had this preconceived notion of how my dream would take shape.  In my mind the path was logical, realistic, but boy did it feel hard.  I thought that was how it was supposed to be.  You always hear people talking about working hard, never giving up, and making sacrifices to live the life of their dreams, so I thought sure enough I was on the right path.  The only problem was that the more I wrote, the more my desire grew.  I wanted to feel like I was making progress, right now.  I couldn’t figure out how to reconcile my passion with the idea that I had to save a large sum of money, invest 6 months of my time to do something that I have always been doing.  Wasn’t the realistic way the only way?  In April, I realized the realistic way is only one way to make something happen.

It was then that I took a leap of faith.  By simply declaring (to myself) that I was going to create my own coaching model utilizing my experience, Masters in Psychology, and the many tools I have learned along the way, I took the seemingly small step that helped me create what I have today.  Did I know everything at that moment? Of course not.  But I set the intention and the flood gates of ideas opened and the pieces fell into place.  Before I knew it I had created my coaching model and began working with two guinea pig clients who have made some incredible progress!

Am I still learning?  Yes and boy am I learning a lot!  I am learning the ins and outs of business.  I am learning how to better serve my clients and how to grow into this new dream that I held so close to my heart for over a decade.

So what held me back all these years?  I was bound by reality.  Like the caged bird who knows only how to live, breathe, and survive behind bars, I allowed myself to be contained in the logical world.  I thought everyone worked a job they hated just to make ends meet and that only the lucky/rich/free people were able to do the things they wanted to simply because they loved it.  For many years my actions were driven by the need to fulfill my responsibilities in life.  Bills, work, and taking care of my family were all reasons I succumbed to the idea that I couldn’t live with my head in the clouds any longer.

I was wrong.  dream life

Today, one year into this blogging journey and only a few months into my business, I am excited for what the future holds.  I am eager to help clients break free from their perceived limitations in time, money, space, etc. so they too can feel the freedom of living a life of passion while still taking care of all the other stuff too!  You can have it all!  The time, the joy, the family, the money, the career that sets your soul on fire…all of it!  All it takes is one little step forward to get the momentum going.  And I can tell you from where I stand in my own journey, it is an incredible feeling to be living my dream and while I am still growing, evolving, and learning, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Don’t wait another minute to live the life you were meant to live, to use the gifts you have to give to the world, and to do what makes you happy.  Life is too short to put your happiness off for another moment.

I would be honored to help you move along your journey to living the life you once dreamt.  Interested in working with me and taking advantage of the incredible pay what you can deal from yesterday?  Send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com or contact me here to get a free 30 minute coaching session to get started.  I promise you won’t be sorry you did.