Lamisha Serf-Walls

Cookie-cutter, one size fits all coaching. I call bullshit.

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photo credit: 5/52 - B&W Landscape via photopin (license)
photo credit: 5/52 – B&W Landscape via photopin (license)

 

It’s time for me to share this message with you and while it might not be very popular and you may decide to unsubscribe, but it’s something that has to be said.

Today, I’m owning my essence and sharing it with you today.

No more hiding or being afraid that I might offend someone.

Today I’m calling bullshit on all the cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all, do it MY way and succeed methods of coaching and teaching (and anything else for that matter).

Yeah, it sounds good and many of us want guarantees that specific methods and modalities are going to be surefire ways to transform our lives and make us rich forever more, but that only holds true if we are all the SAME, which we aren’t.

YOU are a beautiful mixture of cells, soul, and energy combined with your many experiences from this lifetime and beyond.

YOU have amazing gifts, thoughts, skills, and natural talents that make you the incredible being that you are.

YOU are not cookie cutter and neither am I, so why is it that there are so many strategies that speak to ‘the one’ thing that will change your life forever more?

Why aren’t there more people, strategies, teachers, healers, and the like teaching us how to tap into the all-knowing, ever-growing, incredible force that we all have inside of us to make our lives amazing?

Why aren’t more people teaching us to tap into our intuitive gifts so that we may be empowered now and forever more?

In the last 2.5 years as my business and coaching have evolved, I’ve come to realize many of the traditional things didn’t work for me no matter how hard I tried.  I tried to do business the “right” way, even when it didn’t resonate for me on the deepest level.

I tried. I listened. I pushed. I forced, and I tried again.

For an entire year I thought something was wrong with ME because the strategies the “pros” were telling me to use just weren’t resonating and I was losing faith in my inner compass.

I was losing myself.

It wasn’t until I finally stepped away from the formulas, the strategies, and the sure-fire-ways to success that I found myself again and what I was really meant to do in my work.  It was something I had to learn to do for myself first.

Sure my work is helping you to create a life of your dreams and give yourself permission to live an amazing life, but it’s more than that.

My work is more along the lines of empowerment and teaching you to listen to your soul and do what is right for you!  It’s teaching you to blaze a trail for your life that fits YOU…not the life someone else set forth for you.

I am here to teach you what I have learned the hard way and that is to find your way back to yourself so you can live and experience life the way your soul intended.  I’m here to help guide you back to YOU so you can stand in your truth fully, happily, and unapologetically because you don’t fit any cookie cutter approach and that’s ok.

Today, I call bullshit on the one-size-fits-all approach to life and the pursuit of happiness and instead I’m embracing the beautiful, sometimes topsy-turvy, journey of discovery. 

I am accepting and embodying my flow and I’m asking you to do the same.

Listen. Respond. Act. And when you need assistance, reach out, but make sure you are connecting with teachers, healers and the like who are helping you find your way back to YOU.

The truth is, there is no magic pill or path to happiness, money, success, or anything else.  There’s only YOUR way and you have to stand strong in your power and be willing to find your flow.

My purpose is to help you do just that. 

If you want to join me on this self-discovery journey in finding your flow and embracing your essence, I’d love to chat with you (simply hit the button below).

May you always embrace the calling of your soul!

Schedule Free 30-Minute Consultation

Something Life Coaches Probably Shouldn’t Say (But I’m saying it!)

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photo credit: Back doors. via photopin (license)
photo credit: Back doors. via photopin (license)

I’m gonna just cut to the chase here.

When shit hits the fan, life begins to feel weird, or you are going through a major life transition and emotions and such come up to be released…you have my permission to WALLOW.

Yes, that’s right.

Today I’m giving you permission to wallow and it’s probably something life coaches shouldn’t say, but you’re human.

I’m human.

We are all human and we all on occasion have situations that call for a bit of a wallow period.

It’s actually a normal and very healthy part of living if you ask me, but it’s something so many people will tell you NOT to do.

“Look at the bright side.” they say.

“Focus on the positive.”

“Think happy thoughts.”

And while normally I would agree with many of those statements, there comes a time when you just need to feel the feels.

Cry. Take a day off.  Cry some more.  Take a walk.  Journal about your feelings or simply sit with them and let them be there for a bit.

Crying is cathartic.  It’s part of the healing process for many and it’s a form of release both energetically and emotionally.  It allows you to let the energy of the past and frustrations of the present to pass on by so you can make room for the higher vibration emotions.

As a coach who empowers others and speaks so highly of mindset work, it might be a bit weird to hear this coming from me, but believe me when I say I am speaking from experience!

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows and as the old saying goes, you can’t have rainbows without a little rain. 

So embrace it.  Allow it. And if you feel the need to wallow…wallow baby.

BUT…

And this is a big but, (I cannot lie).

Don’t get stuck there.  Don’t allow your emotions to be so overwhelming that they consume you, holding you hostage.

Resisting emotions and “thinking happy thoughts” to avoid the release isn’t healthy, and neither is swimming in hurricane of emotions for weeks or months.

It’s about balance.

Allow the emotions to come up to be released and then begin moving forward again.

Trust YOUR process.

My process is generally 1-2 days of wallowing (usually closer to 1) and then I’m back in action.  Your process might be a bit different.

It might include a few days of social media detox, hot showers, and settling in with a really good book, but whatever your process is…do it!

Emotions aren’t bad things, in fact they are the very things that make us human.  They are important.

And while yes, they are also what create our reality, the more you resist the seemingly ‘negative’ emotions, the bigger they become and the bigger the shit storm is in your life.  (True story.)

So…if life’s been a bit rocky lately or you are going through a transition and are feeling out of sorts…this is your permission to wallow baby.

But…promise me you won’t get stuck there too long ok?

Tissues anyone?

Chronic Self-Sabotage: What’s “too good” for you?

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photo credit: I Will Make It Through the Night via photopin (license)

What happens when life gets “too good”?

You know the moments when everything feels so easy and effortless.

You lose those 10 lbs with ease and blow your income goal out of the water without even breaking a sweat.  And it just so happens to be the same day you hit all green lights going to work, stop by your favorite coffee shop to find that you are the 1000th customer and win free coffee for life! (My dream!)  With a perma-grin on your face you float into work and find that you just got a huge bonus and you can’t help but ask…”How does it get any better than this?!”

Then…

Reality sets in and you start thinking about how perfect everything has been lately and you wonder why it’s all changed.  What’s up?  What’s new?

You get nervous.  Anxiety strikes and your vibration immediately shifts and you almost don’t know how to handle this new found luck.

It feels foreign, unnatural for you, and while it’s been the best week of your life, you can’t quite shake this uneasy feeling.

Then…

You drive home worried, only to hit every single red light, get caught in traffic for hours and pull into the driveway to find not one, but two nails in your tires.  You walk in the door, stub your toe, trip over the rug and do a giant face plant on the floor just before you hobble into the kitchen to find your pipes have burst and water is running all over your beautiful wood floors.

Your magical wonderland of a day has turned to shit in the matter of hours and you can’t quite figure out what has happened.

This is a wildly over exaggerated example of classic self-sabotage.

These are exactly the kinds of things you might see happen when life gets too good.

You might also experience things like, excessive bills after making quite a bit of money or quickly gaining back all the weight you recently lost.  You might even find yourself manifesting fights with friends or loved ones or losing things you recently purchased.

And the list goes on.

What is self-sabotage & why do we do it?

As creatures of habit, human beings thrive on routines and knowing what to expect for the most part.  When we start doing or experiencing things that are outside of what we have come to expect and what has been comfortable for us (even if it’s uncomfortable and we want to change it.), we tend to create situations (subconsciously) to bring our experiences back to ‘reality’.

Have you ever noticed how you tend to hit a limit when it comes to your income, weight loss, or another similar goal?  You hit that magic number and can’t seem to break through the ceiling?

You may have hit what Gay Hendricks in his book The Big Leap calls an upper limit problem.

When things get too good, too fast, we tend to unconsciously (and energetically) pump the breaks and sabotage our success.

Logically it doesn’t make sense, but it’s something we all do from time-to-time.  It’s also what tends to happen when we expand our experience without also expanding our mindset.

Your mindset is the key to overcoming (and limiting) the self-sabotaging behavior that might come up as you continue to grow and evolve.  By clearing the blocks and limiting beliefs we have about what is normal for us, we open our minds and lives to endless possibilities, therefore limiting any future self-sabotage.

The moral of the story is this: When you do your mindset work, you will not only create amazing experiences in your life, but you’ll also continue expanding beyond your current limits.

Want to learn more about how to create a mindset practice that works for you?  Get on the VIP list here if you aren’t already on it, as I’ll be sharing more info on how to do just that…absolutely free. <3

Can’t wait? No problem!

Schedule Free 30-Minute Consultation

Beliefs become your reality. What do you believe?

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One of the core pieces of breaking free from being stuck in any situation is identifying the beliefs that are creating your current reality and shifting them immediately.

Too often we use our outer reality to be the proof that we base our beliefs and inner truths on, when in actuality it should be the opposite.

What you believe CREATES your reality, not the other way around.  So, when you find yourself struggling financially, in relationships, in your career, or in any other area of your life, it’s key to understand what beliefs you have that might be holding you back.

Are you arguing for your limitations?  Ready to shift the shit and move on with your amazing life already?  Check out the video below.

 

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“Is this as good as it gets?” The story of how I found my path.

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photo credit: Sunset via photopin (license)
photo credit: Sunset via photopin (license)

If you’ve ever asked yourself that question, you’re not alone. 

I’ve actually wondered this myself at a time when I felt stuck in a job I hated with no way out.

I wondered if being an ‘adult’ truly meant just getting any old job, paying bills and making my way to retirement.

If that was what being an adult was, I didn’t want any part of it.

I wanted more out of life.

More creativity, joy, connection, passion, and soulful living.  I wanted…no needed to feel the freedom my soul was craving. 

The problem was, I had no idea how to make it happen or if it was even possible.

That is, until the Universe started leaving little breadcrumbs in the form of insightful thoughts in my mind.  Lucky for me I was able to follow them, bit-by-bit.

My journey began when I realized I had to find a way to do what I could, from where I was, with what I had.  (A fantastic lesson that Mike Dooley highly recommends in his book Leveraging the Universe.)

In addition to working my full-time job, I was coaching and doing choreography for a high school dance team part-time.

I loved it!  The passion, creativity, and connection I got from that position was amazing and when it came time for me to move on, I knew I had to find something else that was equally fulfilling.

Then I got the idea (aka the Universe gave me a nudge) to look into some freelance writing.

I have always been a writer at heart and tried my hand at writing book reviews for spiritual and new age books.  In my research I also found an outlet for my creative writing and managed to write inspirational greeting cards having several of them published and sold in stores all over the U.S. (exciting!).

I continued to work my full-time job as I followed the golden nuggets from the Universe.  Knowing I was meant for so much more while at the same time not knowing exactly what I wanted or how to get it.  This was also during the same time I went back to school to get my Masters in Psychology thinking that was the way I was going to create an impact in the world.

In a round about way I was right, except the path I would eventually be led to wasn’t exactly what I envisioned.

As time wore on the Universe continued to send me messages and ideas to follow including…

  • Researching ‘how to find your passion’ and landing on the When I Grow Up Coach blog (love Michelle!)
  • Having a conversation with a coworker who was finding a way to work from home and inspired me to look for opportunities to have a bit more freedom in my life
  • Manifesting the perfect opportunity to work from home and experience the freedom I desired (seriously the job landed in my lap!)
  • Starting a blog (on 3 separate occasions!) to try and share my inspiring thoughts and insights with the world

It wasn’t until I had read all there was to know about Michelle Ward and devoured all the “how to be a life coach” material I could find, that I realized this is exactly what I was meant to do.

But, like many people I got hung up on the ‘how’.

How was I going to do it?

Where do I begin?

What do I need to do?!

I obsessed over those questions for 2.5 years before I finally heard the most powerful message from the Universe (through one of my coworkers).

Here exact words..”Sometimes you just have to take the leap.”

And for once I didn’t over analyze or question her to death.  I heard the message loud and clear and took the leap.

The rest as they say is history.  (To be fair, it hasn’t always been an easy road and there have been many lessons along the way, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.)

One thing I know for sure though, is that if you are asking yourself “Is this as good as it gets?”, the answer is no.

You were meant for so much more and as soon as you allow yourself to hear (and act on) the messages and nudges from the Universe, you will begin to see that “so much more” take shape.

If I could give you a formula to follow based on what I experienced and what I help my clients achieve it is this:

  • Trust, believe, & KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that you were meant for so much more in life

 

  • Follow the signs from the Universe.  It might always make logical sense and you likely won’t see the connections from where you are to where you are going, but keep trusting and just keep following the signs.

 

  • Listen to your intuition…always.  You have incredible power that lies within and when you tap into it, magic happens and it happens quickly.  (In other words, get ready to grow, learn, and evolve rapidly.)

 

  • And last but not least…don’t worry about the how. I know how hard it is to trust the process when you have no idea what you need to do, but trust me when I say, the how isn’t your job.  Just keep moving forward and I promise it will all work out.

If you are wondering how you can get some support to move forward along your path a bit faster or you are feeling the nudge to reach out for help, I’d love to chat with you.

Schedule free 30-minute consultation here