Lamisha Serf-Walls

Remembering To Pause

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Yesterday I woke up feeling tired and worn out.  At first I thought I was having just another case of the Monday’s.  I later realized while it was Monday, that wasn’t what was going on at all.

I knew going into the week it would be busy.  Appts. for my son, myself, and my partner were packing our schedule not to mention my day job and the midnight hustle responsibilities.  Somehow on Sunday when I am normally mentally preparing for the week ahead, I had forgotten about the busy week.  I was immersed both mentally and physically in nature as we spent time outdoors as a family doing yard work and playing.  While that was a nice change of pace from what I am used to, I realized yesterday I was jumping ahead of myself and causing my mind to move far beyond the moment.

Fast-forward thinking is a bit of an epidemic in our society.  Not only are we inundated with messages to go, go, go, but we are constantly looking for ways to get things done faster and to think ahead of where we are.  In business we are constantly trying to do more in less time only to use the “extra” time to do even more.  I was reminded of this yesterday as I was looking at all there was to do this week and feeling a bit overwhelmed.  So much so, that I procrastinated on a few items.  I just wasn’t feeling it.  It hit me this morning that I was getting a much-needed pause.

How often do you take time to do nothing?  When was the last time you decided not to plan your weekend?  Have you ever just enjoyed a full day doing whatever made you feel good, without feeling guilty?

I have to say I don’t do that very often.  I have talked about this before, but I am programmed to be a “do-er” at all times.  I am constantly seeing the things that “should” be done, or the things that “need” to be done and find it difficult to just pause.  I suspect many of us are in the same boat.

One thing that has really changed my thoughts on this and helped me realize the importance of the pause is a book I am reading by Renee Peterson Trudeau titled Nurturing the Soul of Your Family.  While it is meant more for parents, there is also some great information about disconnecting from the busy lives we often live and reconnecting with ourselves and with family and friends.  Taking time each week or each day to pause and become mindful of the moment can change your life.  You may find you enjoy the pause so much that you experience more time.  It is all about perception isn’t it?

When we are constantly trying to get things done and get to the end of our to-do list so we can finally breathe, we find the time passes so quickly and we don’t have as much time as we thought.  But, when we take some time to pause and do what makes our hearts sing, we find time often stands still.  Sure there are items on your list that will still need to be done, but I have learned a secret about life.  We will always find something else to add to the to-do list, so it will never really be done.  And if that is true (and I believe it is), then you aren’t doing anyone a disservice more than yourself when you don’t take time to pause.

I challenge you to take a moment today to truly pause in your action and thought.  Become aware of your surroundings, your breath etc., and do something that makes you feel good.  Maybe it is admiring the blue sky or really feeling the breeze on your skin, but whatever you do take a moment to pause.

What do you do to pause during your day?  Share in the comments below, I would love to hear how you remember to pause.

Milking The (Happy) Moments

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I have been spending a lot of time in the last few weeks thinking about happiness and the components that make for a happy life.  I have also thought about the unique experiences we all have of what “happiness” means for us.  For some it may be a day full of productive activities while others view it as time spent with family, friends and what I have found is that happiness truly depends on one person alone and that is YOU.

We live in a society that often places emphasis on particular possessions, qualities, and other various things with the assumption that if only we had them we would finally be happy.  The flaw in this thought is that no matter what you have or how much money you have, happiness is not something you reach and maintain forever more.  The truth is that life happens and we have ups and downs.  We have good times and not so good times that are less than what we believe to be as “happy” and we find ourselves blaming circumstances or people for our change in how happy we are.  I am realizing that my happiness depends on me and it is something that not only takes practice, but it requires a certain amount of presence in order to maintain it.

For much of my life I wanted a life that would bring me love, a career with a purpose, and family and I thought once I had those things I would live “happily ever after”.  How many of us have wanted a life similar to that right? Some look for their knight on a white horse, while others are searching for a pile of money to take all their worries away.

I am guilty of that way of thinking too.  I have spent a good portion of my life looking toward a future event thinking that if only that happened then I would be happy only to find it didn’t exactly work out that way.  I am learning each and every day to not only live in the moment, but to milk the happy moments as much as possible.

Take this weekend for instance.  I had quite possibly one of the best weekends in a very long time.  We celebrated our son’s 3rd birthday with his friends at daycare, had a fun party for him, and enjoyed Easter festivities as a family.  My son laughed, smiled, and played all weekend while intermittently yelling “Birthday!” and singing “Happy Birthday” to himself.  The weather was perfect and I couldn’t have been more grateful.  I realized that while it was a special weekend for us, there was a lesson to be learned.

During one of the slower moments this weekend, I took our dogs out for a little walk and found myself looking at the world from a different view.  The clouds were gorgeous, the trees were swaying in the perfect breeze, and the sun was warm on my face.  I was at peace.  Complete and total peace.  For this moment, I didn’t have a care in the world.  My list of never ending “to do’s” didn’t exist and worries about work, finances, or whatever else we worry about on a day to day basis disappeared.  All I had in that moment was a full heart and an open and quiet mind.  I was living a moment of gratitude.  I gave a quiet thank you to the Universe for the moment, my son, and the beautiful weather we were having.  I admired my surroundings and took a deep breath and as I was moving back toward our house it hit me.  Every time we are feeling happy, joyful, grateful, loving, etc. we should take a moment to be fully in that moment.  Feel it with our entire being and milk it for what it’s worth.

I could have rushed to take the dogs for a walk without being aware of my beautiful surroundings.  I could have simply focused on what was next on our agenda in order to get it done, but then I would have not only missed this epiphany, but also an incredible connection to my happiness.  If I had skimmed over the moment as we sometimes do, I would have likely been so caught up in the activities we had scheduled that I would have missed a wonderful opportunity to give thanks, be grateful, and fully in tune with the moment.

This weekend changed my thoughts on happiness.  Not only do I truly understand the importance of being responsible for our own happiness, but I also value the importance of milking the happy moments for what they are.  For if we are constantly rushing from one moment to the next without truly experiencing what this moment has to offer us, we are going to allow our lives (happiness and all) to slip through our fingers.  And let’s face it, life is about living, loving, and learning on our journey, it is not a race to see who can make it to the end first.

If you don’t do so regularly, I challenge you to be more mindful of your happy moments this week and sit with those feelings for a while.  Milk your happy moments for all they are worth.

I Am Listening…

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This week has been one of those weeks, yet again.  It seems like time is speeding up and the number of things that must get done are adding up too and while I could very well freak out about what isn’t getting done, or get anxious about the long list, I am not.  Thanks to my meditation practice, I am staying pretty balanced in my mood and doing what I can each day.  With that said, I am human and I still recognize there is much to be done this week, but right now, I am simply listening.

I am listening to my body, my mind, and my inner voice and letting it guide me through my days.  My body is saying “rest” and I am sure it means I need more sleep.  And though I know I could stay up to get through the last few chapters of a book I am reading so I can get some writing done for it, I will not.  I will listen, and sleep.  My mind is telling me to step back, slow down, and breathe.  So I am.  I have taken far more deep breaths today than I can remember in the last week, simply to focus and center myself.  I am listening.

My inner voice seems to have a lot to say about all the “busyness” that is going on this week.  “Let it go. ”  “It’s not worth it.” “It can wait.”  This voice is gently guiding me to do what is best for me right now and to take care of myself and I am listening.  My inner voice is also providing an unlimited number of creative ideas that I truly can’t wait to begin.  When will that be? I am not sure, but one thing I know is that as long as I am listening and following the little nudges here and there, it will all come together in the right time and space for me.  Until then, I am listening.

What do you need to listen to right now?

Following The Signs To Clarity

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I have talked a little bit about synchronicities and following the signposts of life as you venture down your given path. I have often found these signs in books, quotes, a newsletter, or sometimes even songs where a specific topic or set of words just jump out at me and make me think “Aha!”. Well today was one of those days and boy did I have some things jumping out at me.

Over the last few weeks I have been having an internal struggle about what I believe my truth to be. By truth I mean, where I am going, what I am doing, and how my spirituality and belief system is made up (both about myself and the world/society as a whole). I haven’t ever questioned my truth or my spirituality, and don’t particularly find myself questioning it now, but rather wondering how my truth fits into what others believe etc. In the midst of the fog and somewhat confusion I was feeling, I could hear my internal dialogue asking for clarity. I wasn’t looking for it in any given form, nor did I expect it to come about the way it did, but what I found was a series of synchronicities that kept coming about throughout the day. It was as if the Universe/God/Powers that be, was giving me the clarity I was seeking. Simply put, it was amazing.

I’d like to tell you what it was that set these moments of clarity in motion, but I don’t have a formula. I started my day feeling a bit uneasy and since I am committed to my 100 day meditation challenge, I thought what better way to handle such feelings than to be still and quiet my thoughts. Afterwards, I felt a little better, but couldn’t shake this feeling that left me off balance. So instead of trying to push it away, I sat with it. Moving through my morning the way I would normally and allowing the feelings, uneasiness, and day to progress as it should. That is when I stumbled upon a post from one of my favorite blogs the Journey Through The Chrysalis. I found her words lighten my mood and bring a bit of clarity to what I was feeling. I began to feel better and as I did the signs just kept coming.

Almost immediately after reading that post, I saw a status update on FB and an article posted almost simultaneously, providing even more clarity to my particular situation. And it didn’t stop there. Over the course of the day, I had read, heard, and seen several other articles, videos, and blog posts that were either dealing with this particular issue, or reminding me to be open, something I had forgotten over the last few days. Once I reminded myself of my theme for the year, I relaxed. The uneasiness subsided, the chaotic thoughts in my mind calmed down, and I was still. It was then that I allowed myself to let go of this picture I had painted in my mind as a struggle and looked at it from a different view. It is no longer a struggle, it is simply a way for me to grow, both in my own spirituality, but also in how I deal with everything I see as a struggle.

What looks like a struggle from one view, can be very different when you step out of it for a moment and be still, something I was reminded of in my own meditation as well as from Candy Coated Reality (this post is great). Sometimes you even have to get quiet and just listen and if you don’t hear something right away, give it some time and be open to whatever comes your way, you never know where your guidance may show up.

Meditation Challenge Update

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For those of you who don’t know, I have recently taken on the challenge of meditating everyday for 100 days.  I have never been good at meditating everyday even though I am well aware of the benefits it can have on mental health, energy, and overall well-being.  And to be honest with you when I accepted the challenge, there was a part of me that wondered if I would be able to fit it in each day.  But here we are on day 10 and I have meditated everyday of January so far.  That in and of itself is an exciting thing for me.

With that said I thought I would share a bit of my experience thus far.  The first few days were a bit hectic as I didn’t have a set time to meditate, nor did I do it  in the same place, or by using the same method for that matter.  Needless to say I was inconsistent and the quality of each experience wasn’t all that great.  My mind wandered far more that I liked and I didn’t feel as focused or calm as I am used to feeling after a good meditation.  So I figured I would streamline my practice a bit more while still having some flexibility, so I can still flow with whatever life throws at me.

Here’s what I do:

  • I turn on some quiet meditation music
  • Sit in a comfortable position either in a chair or on the floor
  • Close my eyes
  • And breathe

Sounds simple huh?  It is…sort of.  Getting into meditation and clearing my head of all the noise is the most difficult thing for me to do, but as my mind wanders and begins thinking about what I will be doing in the next few hours, I try to focus on the music, or tune into specific areas in my body bringing my awareness back to myself and not my thoughts.  Sometimes I am very successful, sometimes not so much, however I keep going.  At this time I don’t have a specific amount of time that I sit in meditation, but I have reached a max of 15 minutes with hopes of getting it up to 30 by the end of the challenge.

So how do I feel so far?

the results of just 10 inconsistent days of meditation have been incredible.

Here’s what I have experienced:

  • Better mood overall
  • A sense of peace and relaxation afterwards
  • More focus
  • Anticipation for my next meditation
  • Less worry, more faith that things are going to work out in all areas of life
  • A deeper connection to my intuition and dreams

Another thing I am experiencing (though I am not sure if it is a result of my meditation practice, or if it relates to my theme of the year) is an increase in opportunities that seem to fall into my lap, as well as an overwhelming amount of confidence on my part to take on projects that in the past would have overwhelmed me.  Maybe my meditation practice is supporting me as I go with the flow of life and if that is the case then I look forward to what lies ahead while still remaining in this moment as completely as I can.

So that is where I am at after 10 days.  Look for the next update on day 30!