We have all had this experience at one time or another right? You have an amazing dream, you work hard for it, you have a passion that runs deep, yet you keep running up against brick walls and speed bumps. And then as you open your Facebook page to drown your sorrows in some mindless news feed scrolling, you see the amazing things everyone else is doing. (What?!)
You see business posts about how someone just made a bajillion dollars within their very first day of launching a new program. Someone else just had a baby and is now rockin’ a beach body with 6-pack abs and don’t get me started on the other people taking amazing vacations, getting job promotions, and landing free tickets to their favorite show. All the while you feel like pulling your hair out because you can’t get your website to look right, your clients won’t call you back, and your dog just puked on the rug. (Insert a string of expletives here.)
You wonder how it can be so easy for everyone else and not for you. You question what you are doing wrong and as shallow as it might sound, you want what they have…and you want it yesterday!
Can I tell you a secret?
You are not alone. Everyone has had their own experience with the big, ugly, green-eyed monster, especially when things feel like they are taking a turn for the worst. I’ve been there and the reason I am writing this post now, is because I found my own green-eyed monster poking it’s ugly head out a bit recently and I don’t like it.
Step one in dealing with the monster is recognizing it. Step two is realizing that everyone has their own version and you are not alone. Step three, dismantle it.
But how?
I think we all know that the face we put on Facebook and other social media platforms isn’t always 100% accurate right? I mean, sure people post their best statuses and best pictures during times when things are going well, but that doesn’t accurately depict what is really going on in their lives. And even if their lives are all shiny diamonds and gorgeous rainbows, there really is no reason to compare.
Take your big dream for example. It’s YOURS. It’s unique, exciting, and dipped in all your amazing-ness because it is your dream, not someone elses. Their path to success isn’t going to be the same for you and let’s be honest, how they define success might not be the same either. For one person success is being able to live a minimalist lifestyle with their family at home while another is being able to travel the world on a whim. Your dreams, your goals, your success, are all yours. You get to dictate what it looks like, how it feels, and what that means to you.
That sounds all fine and good but when it feels like things are going nowhere and your dreams have grown stagnant, their lives sound really good. So what about that?
In my own experience (just this past week), I have had to identify where the green-eyed monster was coming from. Is it really about what they have or is it a lack that you feel regardless of the comparison? Is it because they are so much further than you or are you worrying about something that has yet to come?
Understanding the core issue to envy is key, but it can be hard to pinpoint especially when you are in the throes of it. Here are a few things to remember when dealing with your own big, ugly, green-eyed monster:
- “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt – This is by far one of my favorite quotes because it is so true. We don’t know much about what other people have going on or what it took for them to get to where they are today. It isn’t fair to you and your dreams to compare your progress, journey, or pain point to someone else. Be easy with yourself and trust that things are working out exactly as they should.
- Bring yourself back to this moment.- Every time we focus on a future (or past) moment in time, we are not allowing ourselves to truly be in this moment. Envy is the same. When we are looking at what others have and we don’t or when we are wishing, wanting, and desiring to be anywhere other than where we are, there is opportunity for a disconnect. But, when we are in this moment and can accept it just as it is, then there is no comparison or room for envy.
- Trust– A big part of making your dreams become a reality comes down to trust. Trusting your intuition, your gift, and your path and reminding yourself that you will have all the things you need to make your dreams come true in due time. There may be lessons to learn, people to meet, or opportunities to accept that will lead you to the very next step and being envious how it worked out for someone else is a waste of energy. Trust the process.
- Celebrate the success of others– I understand sometimes the last thing you want to do is celebrate the success of another especially when you are struggling with your own dreams, but what if seeing the success of others is somehow letting you know that not only is success possible, but that yours is on the horizon. What if that could provide a bit of inspiration instead of envy for you to keep going? Wouldn’t that be something? Instead of wallowing in the world of envy, you could be congratulating and celebrating with others as you trust that your own success will come when the time is right.
We have all experienced our own version of the green-eyed monster, so if you find yourself feeling a bit envious, just be easy with yourself. Your time will come and your journey will be amazing, in its own way. For now, just relax, regroup, trust the process, and remember why your dream is so important to begin with. And if all else fails, stay off of social media sites, chances are you could use a little unplugged time anyways.
