Lamisha Serf-Walls

Re-Framing the Green-Eyed Monster

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When we are growing into our dreams and taking action in the world to create the life of our dreams, there are times (sometimes many) when we come up against the dreaded green-eyed monster.  We see all these amazing people doing what we want to do and doing it WELL.

Some of us get discouraged and begin to feel ‘less-than’ that other person that is doing it better, faster, and more beautifully than us.  Others feel like giving up because they convince themselves that they won’t ever measure up.

Well I have a re-frame that will turn that green-eyed monster into a joyous, happy, and celebratory friend.

Check out the video below to find out how you can use this re-frame the next time you feel a bit of envy, jealousy, or ‘less-than’ someone else.

 

P.S. If you are interested in some FREE coaching hop on over to my Facebook Coaching Power Hour that I am hosting TONIGHT from 8pm-9pm EST.  I will have a special thread open for your questions and will be offering my insight and coaching for an hour.  Got a burning question about creating the life &/or biz of your dreams? Ask away!  All you have to do is be a fan of my FB page and come with your questions. 🙂 Talk to you tonight!

Mindset, Keeping Score, & How to Make Them Work for You!

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Just recently I decided to jump-start my fitness routine again in an attempt to get healthy and create a bit of structure for my workday.  I have to say it’s been pretty great…for the most part.

Growing up I was fairly active.  I danced from 8th grade through high school and into college so I never really had to worry about getting to the gym and making time to work out.  It just happened.  I took dance classes and loved it so it hardly ever felt like ‘work’.  Just a couple of hours a week doing something I love.

This time is a bit different.

I get up every morning and do the ‘work’.  Despite how much it burns in my abs or in my quads, I know that I will feel better having done it.  I just have to get through the 30 minutes.  The work out I am doing is a Beachbody program and it uses 1 minute increments for each exercise and I can’t tell you how many times I have looked at the time left and wished I hadn’t.  Just when I think I am close to being finished, I look up only to realize I am only half way there.  For some reason it makes the second half of the minute seem so much longer!

Well last week I decided to try something a little different.  I decided that instead of looking at the clock or counting the number of squats or mindsetcrunches I am able to complete,  I would just focus on a spot on the wall in front of me through the entire minute.  Funny enough, it seemed like the minute passed by so much faster AND it didn’t feel so hard.

This is a perfect example of how holding your vision while not ‘keeping score’ can help your mindset.

I will be the first to admit that when it comes to my goals or intentions, I am a score-taker.  I like to monitor where I am and how far I am from my goal and while that doesn’t seem like a bad thing, I find it to be discouraging at times.  It can often make it feel like I’m just never going to make it...there.

It’s like saying I want to go to California and all along the way being discouraged that I’m not there yet.  Or wanting to work with 100 clients in 2014 (a true goal of mine for this year) and feeling discouraged when I count I have only worked with 40.

It is ALL about mindset.

If you instead celebrate the progression from where you started to where you want to be AND keep your focus on your vision, something magical happens.  Things feel better, run more smoothly, and you get there much faster.

The same works for whether you are working out, wanting to lose weight, or make a certain dollar figure during the year.

3 Key Steps:

  • Know where you started
  • Celebrate your progression (no matter how small)
  • Keep your ultimate goal/vision alive through focus

startnowAs long as you are consistently taking inspired action and keeping your mindset positive, you will get there.  It just takes a bit of patience, focus, and sometimes accountability.  And if you are finding yourself struggling with getting started or need help to keep going, think about getting yourself a coach.  I have opened 5 individual spots for the month of August for my 1-Month Jump Start program and while I had previously decided not to run this program again until November, I changed my mind because I know how much can happen in 1 month.  I would love to help support you as you envision and create the life & business of your dreams so if this is something you are interested in you can schedule your 30-min. consultation here.  We have 5 months left in 2014 what haven’t you started that you wanted to do this year?  It’s not too late to get started, I promise working with me for 1 month can make all the difference in you creating the life of your dreams.  Are you ready?

Getting Back to Basics

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I recently realized how I have been distracted by all the shiny new programs, coaches, gurus, and the like lately.  It was a nice reminder to get back to basics in my business.  Today I share with you what that means and invite you to look at your own life to see where you might be able to get back to basics.

 

 

What does getting back to basics mean to you? Post in the comments below!

Moving Through the Storm and Into the Sunrise

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photo credit: Hamed Saber via photopin cc

Last week I shared a few videos on how to add a bit more self-care into every single day.  It seems fitting since this week I need not only a little, but it seems quite a lot.

I am moving through a period of transformation not just in my business, but also in my personal life.  I am uncovering another layer of who I am and learning to be with whatever comes up which for me can be a pretty emotional process.  You see, I am realizing that some of the lessons I thought I learned (and incidentally mastered) are resurfacing for deeper clearing and healing.  It’s like going through college and taking Psych 101 and moving onto Psych 205.  More info, more processing, more to integrate into everyday living.

So here I am in the center of what I call for my clients a ‘blissful breakthrough‘ though I am not quite at the bliss yet.  I’m still in the uncovering, releasing, and accepting phase.  Loosening old thoughts that have been lodged in my psyche for as long as I can remember.  Letting go of the crud that has weighed me down over the years and releasing the expectation that the world must shift in order for me to stay present, be successful, and happy.

As far as shifts go, I know them well.  I have gone through many periods of growth followed by long periods of plateau and here I am in the growth phase once again.  And in my experience after the emotional upheaval that may come, the silence, and the shift comes incredible clarity.

It’s almost like being in the middle of a treacherous storm.  Heavy rain, powerful wind, and old debris falling away only to be followed by the most amazing sunrise that only comes after a powerful storm.

The storm is your breakthrough.  The sunrise is your bliss.  Moments like these remind me why I am able to do the work I do.  It’s because I get it.  I’ve been there and am still learning, growing, and evolving.

As for the current lesson, I am allowing and not fighting it.  Accepting it and not resisting it because I know what lies on the other side of this and I have a choice.  I can fight it, hide it, and ignore  it or I can accept it, allow it, and choose to see the sunrise again.  I choose the sunrise.  Because even on the darkest day, with heavy rain, and crazy wind, I know the sun will rise again.

And while I am being a bit tight-lipped about the specifics of the lesson and my current situation, I want you to know this: Lessons in life are inevitable, but even with them all you get to decide how you feel, what you do, and what you want out of life.  So decide what you want and be willing to experience the lessons along the way and heal what needs to be healed.  It is there you will find your bliss.

<3 Lamisha

 

Laying Down the Mask and Other News

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There are so many faces we can choose to show the world and often our online face is the most positive, brilliant, and empowering face of all.  But I am realizing more and more that showing your true colors through all the ups and downs of life is what really allows us to connect, commune, and truly support one another.  Just a few days ago I shared this on Facebook.

“Authenticity and vulnerability win out every.single.time. On days like today I remember that I don’t have to have it all together, slap on a smile, and pretend like I don’t have bad days, lazy days, or days when I’m not quite sure what the next step is. I don’t have to know it all, do it all, or learn it all right now to keep going. I don’t have to be the supreme, holier than thou coach to be of service to others. Nor do I have to get my hands all in the clay to end up with a masterpiece. On days like today, I can rest, relax, and give myself a day to just ‘BE’ and you can too. “

What I was going through in the moment was simply a day of  ‘Meh’ and feeling a little guilty about it.  The Dream Crushers were beginning to swarm and just as they were coming in for the kill, I realized I had a choice.  I could simply be with the feelings, share them with my tribe, and try again tomorrow or I could try and power through, fighting the feelings I was having only to create more resistance and frustration.  I chose the first of the two.  More specifically, I took a nap and gave myself a break.

The truth is, I have these moments far more than I usually share with you and while I am not trying to ‘hide’ them, I prefer to share the inspirational posts and

photo credit: Simon & His Camera via photopin cc
photo credit: Simon & His Camera via photopin cc

high moments with you. (Don’t we all?)  But, in doing that I am leaving out a HUGE piece of the story…my story, not to mention my expertise.

You see, I’m not just a life coach.  I’m a mother and now a wife and with that comes a whole barrel of extra challenges, insights, and opportunities to share with you what I know, experience, and learn so you can learn from it too.  It also gives me an opportunity to be real with you.  To show you that life happens no matter what you do, but when you are doing what you love, you CAN support a family, have time together, and experience the FREEDOM that comes with creating the life of your dreams. 

It is possible!

So, I want you to know that you aren’t alone and you certainly don’t have to travel this road without support.  You can reach out to other business owners, mothers, wives, parents, friends, colleagues, and you can be REAL.  You don’t have to wear the mask of ‘happy’ all the damn time because that is what people expect.

We are all human with good days and bad and I assure you that the only way it will hold you back, is if you fail to keep on keepin’ on.  Show the ups and downs.  Share them with your tribe.  Let people get to know YOU…all of you.  That is how we connect with one another in the truest, deepest way.  That is how we learn from one another and truly support each other and know without a shadow of a doubt that we are all connected.

Together, we are entering new territory.  Moving forward what I share with you will be more authentic, more balanced (with lessons, ups and downs, etc.) and my hope is that it will touch your heart in a way to inspire action for you to do that thing you have always wanted.  Start the business, write your book, and share your expertise with the world.

Now is the time!

In that same vein of authenticity, I want to tell you about a change I am making.  Last week I shared with you a vlog about my upcoming group coaching program.  As I moved further into this week, I had some feelings come up about the program and have decided to postpone the start of the program by about a month.  While I still wholeheartedly believe in the program and know that it is going to be magnificent, I wanted to take a bit of extra time to dig a little deeper and create even more goodness for you.  I wanted to take some of the lessons I have learned in the last few weeks and infuse them into the program so they are ready to go for you.  I also think the timing of it all was a bit off, so I am waiting.

And with that I am not judging myself for waiting.  I am consciously making a choice to produce better content, better information, and a more rounded program for you because you deserve that.  I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt starting today that this is the program for you.  That you are not alone on your path and there are other women in the world (myself included) who have fears, doubt, confusion, and frustration about business and while others may only show you the power, joy, free-flowing happiness, I want to show it all.

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Like these flowers we are all connect in our journey even while having slightly different experiences to share.

My words for this year were Show Up and that is what I am doing, with ALL of me.  The good days, the bad days, and everything in between.  So, I hope you will continue to follow along in this authentic journey and as we get closer to the start of the Group Coaching for Business-Minded Women in July, I hope you will be ready to join us in an amazing and uplifting journey.  A journey that includes ups, downs, and in betweens that we are all experiencing whether we choose to show it all or not.

I have also made some changes to the 1 month Jump Start coaching program.  It is still a 1 month program, however instead of 2 coaching calls, I am now offering 4 coaching calls for the same $347 investment.  This program is a great way to get a taste of what working with me is really like while still making progress toward your dream.  This is not an accelerated program as much as it is a great first step for anyone who is interested in coaching but isn’t sure they want to commit to a 3-month program just yet.  What is better than that is that by doubling the number of sessions you get in the 1 month program, you are getting 4 sessions for a really great deal.  If you are interested in getting started, hop on over and sign up for your 30 minute consultation and grab your spot to begin in June.  Since this program includes 4 weekly sessions, I am limiting how many I can take for June to 10 clients so if you are interested let me know asap.

With that said, I hope you have a magnificent long weekend and do something fun and as always thanks for reading!

<3 Lamisha