Lamisha Serf-Walls

Less Than Motivated…

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It happens to us all right?  You have those days where you know you “should” be getting busy and marking things off your to-do list, but you have zero motivation.  The inspiration to act just isn’t there and to be honest you would just as much like to take a nap and try again later…or not.

I am having one of those days today.  My list of things to be done is ever-growing and even after a mid-day nap I can’t fight this “meh” feeling I am having.

What is a coach to do???

Well first thing to do is admit that we are human and we have those days.  Days when things seem a little less go-go-go and a lot more..zzzzzz.

And while I may not be able to put my finger on exactly what is going on, I’m not sure it matters.  What matters is accepting that it happens to us all and it will pass.

So what do you do in the meantime?  You can’t just sleep all day and not tend to your responsibilities right?

I guess that would depend on what your responsibilities are.  I know I have a lot of things I have set a loose deadline for in my business building and freelance writing.  I have very few things that absolutely have to be done today, so while there is a part of me that knows I really should do X, Y, Z…I’m taking the easy way out and meandering my way back to motivation.

I find that if I am less than motivated to act on something, forcing myself to do it makes it so much worse.  Not only is the end result lackluster and boring, but it feels miserable to do.  So, if I can avoid it, I don’t do it.  Luckily enough this feeling only comes during days when I have my day job that is already pretty lackluster and clearly not my passion.

So, I do what I can to pass the time in hopes that this “meh” feeling passes quickly.  The good news is that typically it will move along and I am back to my bubbly, go-getter, inspired self in no time.  I’m just not there yet.

So why am I sharing my less than motivated moment with you?

Because I want you to know that even professionals feel the same way you do.  We are not super-human, always happy, always successful, never-failing people.  Nope, we are just regular passionate, inspired, and mostly motivated individuals that like you, have one of those days.

And this is mine.

The next time you are feeling less than motivated, don’t fight the feeling.  Just go with it and ask yourself honestly, “What do I feel like doing right this moment?”  Should you get an answer, go with it and see if your mood turns around.

Writing this post was the first thing that came to mind for me.

Be Easy…You’re Still Learning!

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When I was initially inspired to become a life coach, it came at a time when I felt a push to help people do what they really wanted to do, not what they felt they had to do.  In a weird sort of way I was coaching without realizing it and while the different jobs I had that allowed me to talk to people about their “office jobs” or other obligations, I was actually living my purpose, just in a different way.

Since beginning my “official” business (all of a month ago), I have come to realize the coaching piece is what comes naturally to me.  Asking the right questions.  Getting to the core of the issue.  Helping clients take that next step etc. has all been easy, but I am learning a lot about other aspects of running an online business.  And like many of my clients who are just stepping into what they were meant to do, I often find myself getting frustrated or impatient about what I don’t yet know.

I realized today that I am not alone and neither are you.   learning

Not only did I again get a few newsletters delivered right to my inbox with the “how-to” instructions on things I don’t yet know, I also had a chat with a good friend who was going through a similar situation.  (By the way, I highly encourage you to sign up for the free newsletters of your favorite blogs because you can get really great information for free and often in the exact moment you need it.  Keep an eye out because I will have my own newsletter available soon.)

Here’s what I realized:

  • You don’t have to know everything at once in order to begin.  Simply take the tiny steps and follow your inspiration and you will likely find the resources, money, opportunities, connections etc. just come to you right when you need them.  It’s the magic of leading with your inspirational foot.
  • It’s really not fair for you to compare your journey to anyone especially if they have been doing it longer.  They too had to find the answers and figure it out so don’t fret when you find you business Facebook page doesn’t have as many likes as your mentor (ahem, I might be coaching  myself here), or that it is taking a bit longer to find the right publisher for your book.  Keep doing what you love and following your inspiration and you will reap the benefits.
  • This is part of the journey and while we often believe we set goals only to achieve them, the journey should be fun.  If it’s not what’s the point.  So stop worrying and find the joy in learning, growing, and evolving into the new, happier, dream-livin’ YOU!
  • Last but not least, you don’t have to do it alone.  There are coaches, guides, mentors, and ample resources out there for you to access.  We live in a time where all the information we want is accessible to us, so use it.  You don’t have to reinvent the wheel to get to where you want to be.  Let’s come together in community and help each other out.  Together we can do more anyway right?

Be easy with yourself and enjoy the process of learning your craft whatever that may be.  And if there are things that really take the joy out of your journey, pay someone else to do it if you can.  Don’t allow a little accounting, website snafu, or other frustration get the best of you.  There are people in the world following their dreams doing the exact thing you don’t enjoy, so why not let them?

And remember, you don’t have to know it all, be it all, and do it all this very moment, so take a break and give yourself a break!

Do you want to see how I can help you find the resources, money, opportunities, and connections to make your dreams a reality?  Contact me to set up a FREE coaching call, I would love to give you a bit of guidance.

Lessons Learned: Be Brave, Tiny Steps, & Fun Is Important

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photo from: enterprisenation.com

Friday posts are generally my Gratitude posts and while I will maintain my gratitude practice outside of the blog, I wanted to begin a new series titled: Lessons Learned.

With each new step in my business and life changes overall, I feel like I am continually evolving and growing.  And while some weeks feel more like growing pains, my hope is to reflect on the lessons I have learned each week so I am more aware of what I am learning in the moment.  I hope you will join me in reflecting on your week as I am sure we all are learning new lessons about life, love, and the pursuit of our dreams.

This week has included a plethora of opportunities for me to engage my bravery skills to do some things that sort of scared me.  My intuition was telling me I needed to send two emails in order to not only grow as a person, but also to get more comfortable with various aspects of the business world.  I listened to my inner guidance and hit send and even before I received any correspondence back, I knew I had done the right thing regardless of the outcome.  I also had to make a big decision regarding my business logo.  I had so many options to choose from and after momentarily feeling like I was going to select the “wrong” one, I listened to my own advice (imagine that) and followed my gut.  I can’t wait to share it with you when it is complete because it is gonna be gorgeous!!

Lesson: Follow your intuition and be brave in spite of your fear.  You will be glad you did.

I have also been working on brainstorming some ideas for other services and products I want to create and offer to my clients.  I found my inspiration well a bit dry, however I realized I hadn’t really taken the time to sit down and think about it.  Until last night.  In a matter of 20 minutes by simply reviewing old notes, ideas, and doing a little research I had a light bulb moment!  Once the idea hit, I was off and writing and am even more inspired now about how I can implement this new idea.  Again I can’t wait to get this project under way and share it with you!

Lesson: You don’t need to make quantum leaps to achieve your dreams.   Tiny steps make a huge difference.

My last lesson is one I just learned today.  As the summer has flown by, I found myself yearning for just a little getaway.  Not a huge vacation or anything too extravagant, but something easy to end the summer.  After thoughts like “I should really wait,” or “We really shouldn’t spend the money,” etc. I decided I wanted to find a way to have an affordable end of the summer trip and I am proud to say it is in the works.

Lesson: Business is important, but fun is too.  The work will be there when you get back so when you find yourself questioning whether you should or shouldn’t remember fun is important. 

From Faith To Fear And Back Again

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I know I typically begin the week with either my Inspiration Round-up or Dreamer Highlight, but in light of keeping it real with you lovely readers, I decided to start the week this post instead.  It is something I have been dealing with in the past few weeks and I am sure many of you have (or will) go through it as well.

I spent most of June and July imagining, envisioning, and creating my coaching framework as well as figuring out how I would present the information to potential clients.  The process was very easy-going and high-flying as everything was so exciting.  I didn’t feel a sense of urgency to get things completed by a certain date because I was simply following my inspiration to the very next step.  I had this intuitive knowing that August 1st would be when I open practice up to take new clients.  I had an idea that once I did, clients would come to me and would immediately want to get started.  I even went so far as to set a goal for how many new clients I wanted to book by the end of the month.

We are halfway through the month and I am not anywhere near my goal.  Fear

Bummer.

Actually it hit me much harder than just a “bummer” moment.  In fact, I have found myself deep in the throes of doubtful thinking, fear, and disbelief. My self-talk was running rampant as I condescendingly asked myself “How could you actually believe it would take off so easily?”

This was an admittedly ugly place to be for sure.

As I began moving through the muck of self-doubt, I realized I had allowed fear to take the place of the light, easy-going faith I had as I created my coaching model seemingly effortlessly.  Through that process I kept reassuring myself (read my Ego) that I didn’t have to have it mapped out as to how, when, and who would want to work with me.  I just knew that as long as I do what I love and stay true to myself the people who are meant to work with me will.

While I might have doubted how quickly I would book clients, I never once questioned that life coaching is what I am meant to do.

This weekend I did some thinking about my client goal for this month and couldn’t help but wonder if I had made a mistake by having a number I wanted to hit for the month.  Instead of focusing on writing blog posts, working with my current awesome clients, and creating resources for my readers, I found myself keeping score of how many clients I had (or didn’t have).  And while we are taught in the traditional/logical business world to set goals, map out a plan, and execute, I am beginning to see that might not be the best tactic for me.  My philosophy does center around following my inspiration and the general goal setting is not all that inspirational for me.

So, I am happy to say I have moved through the muck and am moving back into trusting this process.  I honestly believe and know that if you do what you love, the rest will fall into place, so that is exactly what I plan on doing.

In the past two weeks I have moved from a place of faith in the process to fear and back again and I must say it feels so much better.

Do I think I will always be high-flying and trust the process?  Probably not, but I now know it is not where I have to stay.  I can allow my Ego to have her say before I kindly tell her to relax and trust the process.  And what is even better than that?  I can use my personal experience to help my clients who may be struggling with the same thing.

Where do you have doubts in your life?  I am interested to know how you deal with your own doubts, please feel free to share below!

 

The Real Deal…

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When I first set out to create my blog, I had this idea to keep most posts upbeat and positive.  I wanted this to be a place of inspiration, motivation, and information to help people move confidently in the direction of their dreams.  I wanted it to be a space of uplifting posts, quotes, and tips to help readers focus on the positive.  As a life coach, I thought it was my duty to keep things light, bright, and positive all the time.

I was wrong.

What I think makes me good at what I do is the fact that I am human and I struggle with many of the same issues my clients do.  I have bad days full of frustration, doubt, and sometimes fear.  I have had my experience with the Dream Crusher on more than one occasion, and there are days when I need to be reminded that I have the power and ability to live the life of my dreams.

I am not perfect.  Authenticity

I don’t always pounce out of bed with a beaming smile and positive attitude.  Sometimes I try too hard and more often than not, I need to take a step back from the immediate issue and look at the bigger picture.  My life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.  I often struggle with disappointment and worry as I move through my journey and instead of sharing those moments with you, I have remained silent.

There have been many days when I wanted to share something uplifting, but I simply wasn’t in that state of mind and instead of sharing with you my perspective and how I am learning to deal with various situations, I write nothing at all.  I have allowed my idea of being a super-human up-lifter get in the way of sharing my authentic self with you.  For that I am sorry.

Does it make me any less of a coach to confess that I don’t always have it together?  I don’t think so.  In fact, I think it makes me a more effective coach because I know what it is like to have down moments in life.  We all do.  And while I admit to having my fair share of struggles, I also have a variety of tools that I use to help combat those not-so-positive moments and they are tools that I want to share with you.

The truth is I love what I do.  I love working with people and helping them follow their inspiration to live the life of their dreams, but I don’t want to misrepresent myself in the process.  I am an up-lifter that sometimes needs to be uplifted and I’m ok with that, because isn’t that what life is all about?  It’s not about being perfect, it’s about learning, sharing, and experiencing life as much as possible.  And I have to say, if it wasn’t for the struggles I have (and will) encounter in life, I wouldn’t be able to help my clients deal with their own, because sometimes you have to go through it to understand it.