Lamisha Serf-Walls

Make Room For Your Dreams

by

I read a post last night from a friend regarding her experience of the “stuff” that is weighing her down and her intentions of letting it go.  It reminded me of something I have been thinking about for a few weeks now, as I have been making attempts to also clear out the old, to make room for the new (whatever that entails).

Have you ever heard the saying that when you open your hand to let go, it is also open to receive?  It can also be said that you must first let go of a little bit of your control to allow your dreams to manifest.  I think the same goes for making space, both literally and mentally, for your dreams to come true.  We often forget that in order to bring something new into our lives, we have to let go of the things that no longer serve us, be it behaviors, beliefs, or tangible objects that are blocking our ability to receive the resources we need to move forward.  Sometimes those beliefs, objects, or behaviors are all that we know and letting go of what we have always known for something that we can’t yet see is a scary venture.  I know, I have been there before.

The truth is our dreams are not guaranteed, but then again you could say that about anything in life.  The best we can do is have faith in ourselves and trust that we are not traveling this path by chance.  We are instead making a choice to live a life full of experiences, adventure and fulfilling our deepest desires and many times we must be willing to walk into the unknown to do it and sometimes that means letting go of the things that no longer serve your current reality to make room for the life you dream of.

I have always been much better at letting go of physical things than I am with letting go of my control (or perceived control as it may be).  I often find myself at the end of each season looking into my closet and donating items that no longer fit or things I haven’t worn in over a year.  I would much rather have the added space than the item I won’t use again.  When it comes to letting go of my expectations of myself or the beliefs I hold true about how my dreams should manifest, I am a bit more reluctant to let go.  Maybe it is because I am such a planner and when I get set on one plan, I begin to limit other possibilities.  Recently I have been thinking of what “stuff” I might need to let go of in order to receive the flow of energy, resources, and other contacts I need in order to make my dreams come true.

How can I make room for my dreams?

The first thing that comes to mind is time.  I hear people talking (myself included) about the lack of time they have, when really it is more about how you allocate your time.  Do you spend it doing things that will help benefit your dreams and goals or do you use it doing things that you feel you have to do?  Why not free up some time to do the things that will bring you closer to your dreams, no matter what it is?  For me this includes writing almost everyday.  I could become a much better writer if I committed to writing a little bit everyday and I could make the time if I got up only 30 minutes earlier each day.

Another thing I could do is clear out the belief that my dreams have to manifest based on the exact plan I have come up with.  My plan stems from what I believe is most feasible and realistic in achieving my dreams.  It is how I have come to know the world and my own abilities within it.  I know that by doing this I am not allowing the other innumerable possibilities to be an option.  My focus is so set on how I want it to happen, that I am quite possibly missing signs that could lead me in a direction I haven’t thought about.  I am by no means an expert in all the wonderful possibilities that my dreams could manifest, so how can I believe that there is only one way to do it?

I can’t.

I must be able to let go of the notion that I have it all planned out.  Sometimes, (actually most times) I don’t have the only way to do something and I frequently don’t even know the best way to do things.  When I let go of the idea that there is only one way to create my dreams, many more options present themselves.  The key is letting go and having faith that my dreams will come to fruition even if it isn’t the way I thought it would.  If I continue to believe in myself and my abilities and open my hands to release a bit of my control, my energy is then free to flow to the other possibilities that come my way.

So how can you make room for your dreams?  Do your dreams require you to pare down your belongings so you can travel the world for a year?  Maybe you want to start that business you have always wanted, but it means you have to free up some time, money, and space for that business to come alive.  Whatever dreams you have, what can you do to make room for them?

Gratitude: Democracy and Books

by

As I continue to do my daily (and weekly) gratitude practices, I am finding not only am I beyond blessed in my life, but I may be taking far too much for granted.  I am much better at noticing the little things that make my life easier, more beautiful, and sometimes just plain interesting.  I guess you could say I am much more aware of the little joys in life and it allows for a happier disposition over all.  Additionally the frustrating things in life (you know like waiting in a long line for 3 hours to vote-type of things) don’t seem as frustrating when you look at all of the wonderful blessings around you.  So without further ado, here is my latest installment of gratitude.

 

This week I am grateful for democracy.  With the election this week, my dedication and appreciation of democracy was taken to a whole new level.  I have been much more aware and involved with politics this year than ever before and the main reason is because I am thinking beyond my own limited vision of life and future.  I am thinking of the life of my son and other children to come.  The decisions I make today have an impact on the future of this country and ultimately the life of my children and grandchildren.  I was reminded of that this week as I stood in a ridiculously long line to cast my vote.  Yes the line was long, and I spent one of the three hours it took me to vote outside in the cold, but all the while I was very aware and thankful to have the opportunity to cast my vote.  I was proud to see so many people turn out regardless of who they were voting for, because too often people believe their voice, their vote, and their opinion doesn’t matter.  But if you don’t cast your vote, use your voice, etc., then it will never matter.  I am both humbled and grateful for the democracy we have in this country and the continued progress we are making.  Don’t get me wrong we still have far to go and the system is far from perfect, but we are far better off in many ways than hundreds of countries around the world and for that I am grateful.  With a grateful heart for what is, I have high hopes that we will continue to move as a country towards a more united nation with equality for all and that I will live long enough to see it.

I am also grateful for books.  I love the adventures, knowledge, and occasional reprieve from everyday life you can get by simply opening the pages of a good book.  Not to downplay technology and the new readers that are out there, but I love reading books I can hold and carry with me.  In the last two years there hasn’t been a time when I wasn’t in the middle of 2 or 3 books at a time, enjoying every moment of it.  It is one of the things I do to escape the stresses of life, to learn and grow as a person, and to relax.  There is nothing better than a warm snuggly blanket, rainfall outside, and a good book.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and find some down time yourself, no matter how you choose to spend it.

Remembering Self-Care

by

I have said before that when I see, hear, or read the same message or theme in life, I tend to take notice.  It has happened again and this time the topic is self-care.  I have read many posts over the last few weeks about people trying to get back to taking care of themselves in the midst of the hustle and bustle of everyday life.  I can certainly relate to this, though I thought I had somewhat of a handle on it.

I was wrong.

I have found over the past week or so that I am taking much less time for me, and doing many other things that while they need to be done, (i.e. work, house chores, appointments, etc.), sometimes something just has to give.  There are only 24 hours in a day and while I could fill every bit of those hours being “productive”, the reality of the matter is I probably wouldn’t be all that productive without a bit of self-care added to the mix.

What is self-care?

I guess it depends on the person.  For me it is rest, relaxation, meditation, exercise, reading, writing, and just some general down time.  It also involves spending some time in nature either exercising, or just being outside (one of my favorite things to do).  Lately all of that has taken a back seat to work, getting caught up on things around the house, and other projects that I see daily that need to be done.  I know that I am far more stressed when I skip out on my self-care, but sometimes I get caught in this rut of being on the go, go, go, that I forget that if I don’t take the much-needed downtime then I won’t be go, go, going anywhere.

Point taken.

A dear friend of mine reminded me today that even squeezing a little bit of down time into my schedule could help me immensely.  She was right (as she is almost always).  So I am setting a new intention of doing at least one self-care item for myself each day.  This may involve a bubble bath, a long walk, extended meditation, or simply reading for 30 minutes, but I will fit it in.  Besides in the end the work, laundry, and my long list of to-do’s will be there when I am finished and I know I will come back feeling refreshed, and ready to focus.  In fact I know this to be true, because I tried it out already today.

I decided to take a 10 minute walk.  It wasn’t long and not enough to get my heart rate up, but just enough to get my blood pressure down (I’m assuming, I didn’t actually measure it), by being out in nature and enjoying some fresh air.  Combine the fresh air, a little walking, and the beauty of the clear skies and I am feeling like a new woman, so much that it makes me wonder why I let my self-care go for so long?  I guess the reason doesn’t matter because none of the reasons I can come up with will be good enough to let my health, (both mental and physical) suffer.

So there you have it.  As my work schedule gets a little more crazed I am going to make sure I work in those moments of self-care to ensure that I am not only taking time for me, but also not neglecting the people who mean the world to me (my son and partner).  Because let’s face it, life without joy and family, is not a life well-lived.

 

 

Winds Of Change

by

My how the winds of change sweep in so quickly, or so it has seemed recently.  I mentioned last week how I had some good feelings about the rest of the year.  I felt like something was on the verge of happening in my writing world and it was going to be great.  I also mentioned that what I thought was going to happen didn’t.  With that said the winds of change are blowing and they are blowing in an unexpected, unforeseen opportunity that will help me move forward towards beginning my life coach training program.

What is it you ask?

This week I was notified of a change in some of my work responsibilities at my day job that will mean more work, more hours, but some extra income as well.  Doesn’t sound like a good change does it? Actually it is a good thing because the added income will be just what I need to move towards setting a date to begin my life coach training (more on that later).  It is also a reason to celebrate because I feel like I am truly making progress and progress is always a good thing.

I am also seeing change  in a new light.

Change and I have never been friends, in fact change is something that I both crave and fear.  Not knowing where my path may lead fills me with both excitement and dread as I begin to think of all of the possibilities that can come from it.  I guess it also depends on what type of change we are talking about, but this type of change that allows me to move forward towards my dreams is a change I am ready to make.  And while the added income will be great, there are some other trade offs I have to be willing to make in the short-term.

One of which is more work and potentially more stress.  More items on my to-do list that will require more organization and balance of my time.  Add to that weekend hours that I am not used to and the potential for a very chaotic, stress-filled experience.  But, since I know this ahead of time I am choosing to be proactive in my efforts.  Planning my time accordingly and remembering the benefits of this current sacrifice.  More money and more savings mean I can begin my training much sooner.

In addition to that, the more time I spend in a job that I don’t love is more motivation to work on getting my ducks in a row to begin my journey towards my life coaching business.  This may be a mini step and a little sacrifice, but in my book it is also a huge opportunity to move forward.  And for that I am thankful as I welcome the winds of change, for they are not only changing this moment, but have the opportunity to change the rest of my life.

Maybe change isn’t so bad after all.

Success Redefined

by

I have made it just past a month since starting this blog (woohoo!) and I am very proud.  Not only have I stuck with my writing every week day, but I have also managed to keep my creativity flowing and I have found that I am never lacking in material or ideas.  Success!!

Or is it?

When I started using WordPress as a platform for my blog, I was (and still am) very excited about how easy it is to use.  For a newbie like myself it was easy to set up and start blogging, and while there are still many things to learn, I feel confident with what I post each day.  In addition to the easy set up, I found (rather quickly) there is some great statistical information you can get in one click of your mouse.  Information about how many people viewed your posted, what country they are from, the number of “likes” for each post, and how many followers you have.  And being the numbers gal that I am, sometimes I find myself obsessing about the numbers.  How many views do I have today?  How many “likes” do I have?  Any new followers?

Crazy right?

I know I just started this magnificently creative, and courageous journey and though I keep telling myself that “every new blog takes time to grow”, I feel a little disappointed in the numbers.  If one of my posts doesn’t have many likes or views, I am starting to wonder about my content.  Is it boring?  Did I post too late or too early?  Should I have certain topics on certain days? Questions that are taking my focus away from my flow of creativity and joy in my writing.  And since I started this blog for two reasons, (to inspire, empower, and motivate others to achieve their dreams as well as to have a creative outlet for my thoughts), I realized that getting the most likes or followers on my blog is not as important and should not be my main focus.

Easy to say, not as easy to do.

So I am redefining success as it pertains to my blog.  Creating a blog and sticking with it was one of my dreams and here I am blogging about it.  I am enjoying the creativity, thoughts, and muses that come about in my daily life because of my blog and am happy to share with others in hopes that as they venture towards their goals, they will know that they are not alone in their journey.  I am enjoying the journey, the connection with other bloggers, and my own space to share my thoughts, visions, words, etc.  I’d say that is a success, a mini success maybe, but a success none the less.  And as my blog continues to grow (and it will), my definition of success may also change.  One day, I might set a goal for a certain number of followers/likes/blog awards etc., but I’m not there yet.  As for today, I am enjoying the process of creating something that matters to me.  And while I will still check out the numbers and statistics (because I’m curious), I will not allow my confidence to waver if I don’t have as much traffic, or “likes”, because while they are great, they are not the reason I am on this journey.  Those things do not define me as a blogger, writer, creator or person, but in time as I continue to make progress in my writing and blogging, those things will grow naturally.  It just takes time and patience. 

That is the great thing about goals.  When you create your dreams or goals, you get to decide what is successful and what isn’t.  For instance, if you are looking to lose a certain amount of weight, you are bound to have a bunch of little successes along the way and it is important to celebrate them as you go.  It builds the momentum and positive energy you will need to stay the course and reach your ultimate goal.  Same thing goes for any goal really.  If you are starting a business, celebrate when you decide on the name of that business.  Celebrate when you find the space for that business.  Celebrate when you have 2 clients, or when you have 10.

The main thing to remember is to celebrate the journey because it is there that you will find many little successes that once built upon, create the life you once dreamt.

Think about it.  How do you define success as it pertains to your most current dream?  I would love to know.