Lamisha Serf-Walls

Unexpected Opportunities For Growth

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Today, the first day of 2013, I had expectations that I would spend day dreaming. I envisioned today would be filled with relaxed moments, reflection, and loose planning for the year ahead. But what I experienced was far from relaxation.

I began my day feeling a bit off kilter. I couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was exactly, but I could tell something felt off. Instead of feeling energized about the newness of the year, I was feeling lethargic and a bit on edge. Throughout the day I found myself reacting rather intensely or over reacting in some cases to seemingly small things. My patience was wearing thin and I realized my frustrations were coming from my lack of flow with the events of the day and my lack of perceived control. And while the aspects of the day that were outside of my “control” are not important, I had a pretty strong epiphany by the end of the day.

As 2012 came to a close I decided to choose a theme for this year that would help me keep my focus this year. Incidentally my theme for this year is to be open and by that I mean open to not only the good things, but the challenges and lessons as well. I realized today that I was not only asking for opportunities to remember to be open but in some ways I had attracted these opportunities to flow and be open to life.

Simply deciding to be open or be more patient doesn’t necessarily mean there is an instant change. In fact, any growth or change takes place over time and lasting change happens when we choose to respond to situations in a different way over and over again. What I soon realized is that the challenges I was having today was simply an opportunity to respond differently. This was the beginning of my year of being open.

I believe when I chose the theme for this year I sent a message to the Universe that I am now ready for opportunities to choose to be open, to choose differently than I have in the past. And while I didn’t expect to have my theme challenged on the first day of the year, I firmly believe it is through these moments I will be able to continue to grow and become better at being open and flowing with life, not only in the good times, but also in the challenging times.

End of Year Tradition: Letter to Future-Self

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Last year I was reading through various inspirational blogs and found several that discussed different new year traditions.  One tradition was mentioned on not one, but two blogs and I was intrigued enough to try it out.  The concept was presented first on Jess Lively’s blog and then again on the When I Grow Up Coach blog and after reading both, I couldn’t contain my excitement and decided to try it out.

The basic concept is to write a letter to your future self describing and reflecting on the coming year as if it has already happened.  When I completed my letter for the first time at the beginning of this year, I was so excited to start.  I had many visions of what I wanted to accomplish and I included everything from the writing opportunities I wanted to obtain, to the way I wanted to decorate my house.  After I had written the letter, I tucked it away only to be read twice in the coming year.  Once about 6 months out and then again at the end of the year.  I (not so) patiently waited for all of my dreams to come true.  Unfortunately they didn’t come true in the way I thought they would.

Some of the items did materialize for 2012, but looking back on it, I realize my focus was very rigid.  I wanted very specific things to happen and when they didn’t, I found myself very frustrated and I wondered if the whole “future letter” was a waste of time.  Now that we have reached the end of 2012 and I am contemplating writing the letter again, I have decided that I will indeed write it again, but I suspect that it will have a bit of a different feel to it.

Instead of setting mostly rigid expectations for the year ahead, I am going to be a bit more balanced in my approach.  And considering my theme for the year ahead is to “be open” to whatever may come, I believe I will not only be able to handle whatever comes my way, but I also hope that many more dreams in my letter will come to fruition.

So, during the first week of 2013, I will once again sit down to write a letter to myself describing 2013 as if it was coming to an end.  I look forward to getting my thoughts on paper and dreaming big for the year ahead, but if all of my dreams don’t come to pass, then I know I will be open to whatever comes in it’s place.

If you were going to write a letter to yourself what would you include in your reflection of 2013?

End of Year Tradition: Theme of the Year

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Vision of being open.

I have heard of many people using different methods to reflect on the past year as well as make plans for the new year and as I continue to flow with life and make plans for future, I have decided to set a theme for 2013.  I thought it would be a good way to set a specific focus for the year ahead and as I move through each day of 2013 if need be, I can look back at this post and remind myself of my intention and focus for 2013.

With that being said my theme for 2013 is: Be Open.  I want to be open to whatever opportunities, challenges, and changes that may present themselves in 2013 and to take those things in stride.  Instead of fighting the current and resisting ‘what is’, I want to be open to the lessons I may learn and the growing that may come from the changes and challenges in the coming year.

That is not to say that I am going to just let life happen to me in 2013.  In fact my plan is quite the opposite.  I am setting goals and intentions for the coming year, but instead of asserting my “control” over what I think should happen, I am going to flow with what actually happens and be open to it all.  This is a huge change for me as I often find myself disappointed that things don’t go exactly as planned.  So, while I am not flying completely blind with no plan in 2013, I will simply be open to whatever changes may come.  My hope is that in my effort to let go a bit more and flow with all that life entails, I will continue to find peace in every situation no matter what it is.

I would love to hear from you. What would you say your theme is for 2013?

Gratitude: Stillness and Peace

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This week was a pretty relaxing week to say the least. After a wonderful holiday with family and only a 2 day work week I am beginning to get used to this overall peaceful state of being and have set the intention to continue with peaceful living into the new year.

With that said this week I am grateful for moments of stillness and peace. I am currently reading a book called The Power of Peace In You by Marlise Karlin and have been inspired to not only incorporate more meditation in my (hopefully daily) life, but more moments of stillness too. I am realizing that these moments don’t have to be long moments and I don’t necessarily have to meditate for an hour a day, but I can benefit from a few deep breaths and stepping back from the hustle and bustle of life. But beyond that I am much happier and live a more peaceful and intentional life when I step back even just a little bit each day.

While I would love to get onto the habit of meditating before I begin each day, I know that may not always be feasible and as I flow with life, sometimes the current may take me away if only momentarily from my practice, and that is ok. But for right now I am grateful for the peace of mind and stillness I am carrying into the new year with hopes of continuing my practice even through challenging times.

What will you carry with you into the new year?

Reflection: Surviving to Thriving

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I often find myself sitting in contemplation, reflecting on a certain situation, thought, or book I have read recently.  It isn’t abnormal for me to turn inward for a few days as I think about whatever it is that has given me reason to reflect, and a few weeks ago someone said something to me that got me thinking.  In a conversation I was having about a particular challenge I was dealing with someone said “No matter what you have encountered in your life, no matter how hard it may have seemed, you have always survived.”  In the moment that comment didn’t seem like much, but in the last few weeks I have been reminded of that comment over and over again.

Many times when we are stuck in a rut or dealing with a particular challenge, it is easy to feel like our world is crumbling and everything is falling down on us.  The negative aspects of life seem to be highlighted and we can easily be convinced that we are failing at whatever it is we are attempting to do.  We may think we aren’t good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, and simply don’t measure up to whatever standards we are measuring ourselves by.  It is during those times we believe the illusion that we are destined to fail when the truth is we have made it this far and have been through far worse things in life than this very moment.  And as I have pondered that comment, I realized that yes I have survived every challenge I have encountered and I am better for it.  Of course you couldn’t tell me that in the moment of a complete meltdown, but it is true.

The more I contemplate that thought, the stronger I feel.  I know that I have seen, experienced, felt, and lived some terrible things in life and the “challenges” I experience now are nothing compared to them.  And beyond all that I am here.  I am stronger, wiser, and honestly more creative than ever because of my past and the challenges I have faced.  So yes, I have always survived.  Yes, I will make it through the next proverbial storm. And yes, I am still growing, but I am moving into a phase of my life that is more than just surviving.  I am moving into a phase of life where I thrive.

A phase of life where my dreams transform my reality faster than I can dream it, and my life is wonderful.  Not wonderful because everything is fine and dandy, but wonderful because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am strong enough to handle whatever comes my way.  I am learning life lessons and embracing change more than I have ever before and if you know me ( and many of you do), you know this is no small feat.  And as I write this I know I may need to be reminded of my strength and my ability to thrive when life throws me a particularly difficult situation and during those moments I will read this post and remember the strength that lies within.