Lamisha Serf-Walls

Resolutions Revisited

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I have to say I can’t believe March is here already.  It seems like not too long ago I was thinking, dreaming, and intending my year ahead full of wonder, magic, and awe.  Ah how quickly the newness subsides and everyday life takes over.  Laundry, work, bills, and life all go on and sometimes our dreams, goals, and resolutions fall quickly to the background.  I suppose that is why many resolutions fall by the wayside never to come about again until next year…that is unless you revisit them.

Last Friday it hit me that we are now entering the third month of the year and my excitement for 2013 had dropped dramatically.  So much that I wasn’t thinking of my dreams all that often and my passion was waning too.  The realization that I was no longer as excited for what is to come as I was in January really got me thinking.  How could I let all of that excitement and fire just fizzle out?  Where did it go?  More importantly, how do I get it back?

I don’t know if there is a set formula to finding your fire again, but this is what I have come up with so far.

  • Remember your resolutions/dreams/intentions.  Revisit the goals you wrote down, the things you told your friends you wanted to do, but most of all FEEL them.  Feel the fire, passion, and desire you had when you set them.  Revisit your resolutions and make friends with them again.
  • Know that each month (and each day) is new and you can recreate the newness whenever you want.  Maybe at the beginning of each month you want to set a mini celebration for what you accomplished the month before and look forward to what is coming in the next month.  Maybe you wan to journal about all the gooey goodness that you had in the month before while setting your intentions for the month ahead.  Whatever you do remember every day, week, and month provides a new start.
  • Bring back the magic.  When the clock struck 12, you were likely filled with a sense of wonder and magic for what was waiting for you in the coming year.  I can’t tell you how many times I heard or read “2013 is my year” only to find that thought is forgotten a few weeks later.  Bring that magical feeling back to life.  Read inspirational quotes, stories, and blogs.  Find someone you admire and ask them what they do to keep the magic and wonder alive.  Embrace positivity and allow it to fill you up each and everyday.  Sounds corny, but it works.

I hope the steps above help you to breathe life into your resolutions and goals and you enjoy not only the things you planned for, but also the delicious surprises that await you.

Now it’s your turn.  What do you do to keep your resolutions alive?  Let me know!

Using The “What If” Game To Increase Positivity

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I will be the first to tell you I am not as positive as I would like to be all the time.  In fact, there are days when I feel down and I long to find my way back to the light airy feel of a positive disposition and when positivity quotes and pep talks fail, I play the “What If” game.  You probably have never heard of it as it is something I sort of created as I was trying desperately to get back to a place of feeling good.  You know how it goes…you attract how you feel (or for those familiar with the Law of Attraction, you get what you vibrate).  I didn’t like how I was feeling, thinking, and the overall icky feeling a negative mood can bring, so I started day dreaming…and that is when the “What If” game was born.

Here’s how it works:

Whenever you are feeling particularly negative about a certain situation, circumstance, or person you start by using your creativity and imagination to ask yourself various questions starting with “what if”, only they are framed in a positive light.

For instance, if the worry is about having enough money you might ask yourself “What if I had all I needed?” “What if all of my debt were paid off and every dollar I earned was simply disposable income?”, “What if I had a job that paid exactly the dollar figure I know I am worth?” Can you see how that might feel?  Where does your mind go when you think of that?  Do you imagine all the things you would buy with that money?  Can you feel the relaxation or elation you might feel if that were true?  This isn’t necessarily about believing that is happening, it is simply experiencing the feeling as if it has happened.  Will it magically put money into your bank account?  Probably not right this second, but it will turn your mood around so you are in a better place to relax and allow money, opportunities, and other resources to flow to you and through you.

Another example might be surrounding a close relationship.  “What if my partner gave me all the love and affection I desire?”, “What if I found my soul mate tomorrow?”, “What if my partner surprised me with a romantic dinner and flowers?”  How does that feel?  Are you giddy?  Have butterflies in your tummy?  Are you smiling from ear to ear, floating on cloud 9 just imagining your partner?  Viewing your partner in a positive light even in the midst of a challenging situation can shift not only your mood, but the entire dynamic of the situation.

You get the point.

The idea is to ask yourself these questions in such a way that you use your imagination to see these things happening and then feel the effect of the thought itself.  Do you remember as a child imagining something you were really looking forward to no matter how far out it seemed?  Or maybe you were imagining what it would be like go to Disney World or fly your own airplane or sing on stage?  Do you remember the magic you felt as you thought about these things not because they were happening, but simply because you were thinking about them with all the details, people, sounds, and events included?

It seems that somewhere between childhood and adulthood we have lost our ability to imagine and dream of far away things just because we can.  We have lost the ability to reap the benefits of positive excitement by imagining the never-ending “what if’s” that produce that good feeling that most children carry with them at all times.

It doesn’t really matter where we lost it or how, what matters is that you can enjoy that feeling again.  Try it.  The next time you are feeling particularly negative, play the “what if” game and see if it doesn’t move you into a more negative frame of mind.  Or better yet, play it once a day to give yourself a positive boost and see how it affects your life.

Gratitude: Focus

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I have spent several days away from my blog and though it certainly hasn’t been on purpose, I am finding myself changing and growing (again).  Of course change and growth are two things that don’t really stop and are for the most part good things, but as far as my blog is concerned, they sometime cause me to take some time to look inward to process everything.  With that said, I didn’t want to miss my one gratitude post a week because it really is a good reminder for me to practice gratitude on a daily basis.

This week I am grateful for focus.  While my focus has been a bit scattered at best lately, I am finding myself constantly bringing my thoughts back to the present moment.  Whatever task I am completing at the moment works out for the better if I can offer my undivided attention and focus to it as opposed to being split between various tasks.  Splitting my attention is rarely the most effective use of my time, though it is something that has become far more of a habit than I care to admit.

I am also grateful for bringing my focus closer to home, meaning focusing on the things that affect my family and I personally rather than get involved in others business.  Again this is something I am constantly reminding myself to do because for far too long I have been playing the role of rescuer to people, situations, and circumstances that may not really need or want my help.  So, I am taking my focus back a little bit and focusing on myself and my family.  I am beginning to think more about my dreams and how I can create the space, time, and energy for those things I want to bring to fruition.  I am also formulating a loose plan of action and seeing where the tide takes me, because while focus is a good thing, it can often be limiting as well.  So, here’s to having a soft focus on my little world and much gratitude in my heart for all that unfolds.

What are you grateful for today?

Lessons In Layers

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I have had an epiphany this past week and it is one that I believe I have begun to develop over the years, but for some reason this it is hitting me now.  Maybe it is because I have been doing a lot of internal work, thinking, ruminating, and wondering about life and my journey in this life.

I just realized lessons aren’t learned in distinct moments, but instead occur in layers over time.

It seems I have had many “aha” moments throughout my life only to find myself repeating the same “aha” only to a different degree or in a different situation.  A friend of mine posted something a few months back about learning and re-learning lessons and I told her I thought of learning in the form of college courses.  Instead of learning Patience (period), we learn Patience 101 and Patience 202 etc.  It seems that there are various situations that we can learn the same lesson and yet it still feels new.  And since I tend to have a lot of “aha” moments, I would like to think I am learning them on another level as opposed to believing I am just too stubborn to learn.

As I have come to this Lessons In Layers theory, I began thinking of the lessons that I feel I have learned at least on the surface level.  For instance, thoughts become things, positive thoughts=positive experiences, patience, letting go, allowing life to flow, etc.  I truly believe those are things I have learned, or at least understand on some level and yet I find myself in situations where I realize them in entirely new ways.  It can be both exciting and frustrating depending on how you view it (yet another layer) and yet I feel the same way about personal growth.

At one point in my life (more recent than I care to admit), I thought growing and evolving personally and spiritually was not only a journey, but one that actually had an end (before death of course).  I thought I could hurry up and learn these lessons in order to get to a life of unfettered bliss.  Some part of myself thought that my happiness would begin once all my dreams came true and I would finally be able to live happily ever after.  And being the go-getter that I am, I found myself doing all I could to get there, only to find I was losing this beautiful journey by being caught up in a non-existent destination.  If it wasn’t for a very dear, very wise friend of mine telling me (more than once) that life is about the journey and growth is happening all the time, I would likely still be pushing my way to the end..wherever that may be.

So where am I today?  I am not at the end at all and I am ok with that, for the most part.  I have accepted the fact that I am growing everyday and learning lessons in various layers, in various situations and times.  I am learning to flow with life and sometimes I need a gentle reminder while other times I need a good bonk on the head to revive this important lesson.  The most important part of where I am right now in life is my journey.  I am coming to a place of presence in both mind, body, and spirit to how magnificent life is no matter what is going on.  And while this is a lesson that will come and go, I am ok with taking it slow sometimes.  Sometimes we just need to absorb our experiences with our entire being before we take another step and give thanks for the journey.  I am learning that the journey is the best part…