Lamisha Serf-Walls

He’s Got It All Figured Out…

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I once thought that no one had life all figured out.  I thought we were all living the best we knew how, doing the best we could while still growing and evolving into better versions of ourselves.  Yet no matter how evolved we get or how much we grow, we never have it figured out.  That is, until I thought about my son.

Yesterday I was thinking about life and how sometimes it feels like a struggle as we muddle through the challenges and other times it is simply euphoric.  The good times make you feel like everything is running smoothly and nothing can tear you down.  I was wondering how we could live more in the space of goodness and less in the mindset of challenges.  I wondered if that was even possible.  Then it hit me!  My soon to be 3-year-old has it all figured out.

Sound crazy?  I don’t think so.  The other day my some came home from daycare with the biggest smile on his face and I could feel the joy flowing so easily from him.  It’s not just when he comes home either, it seems to be all the time.  At any given moment I can look at him and he is singing as loud as possible, dancing, bouncing around the room, or his new favorite thing is singing into his microphone or banging on his drum set.  He has found joy, better yet, he lives it in everything he does.  From the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed he has spent approximately 90-95% of his day in happy mode.  Sure he doesn’t have everyday problems to deal with like us adults, but it got me thinking about how we can all spend that much time in happy mode.

Is it as simple as thinking happy thoughts or turning your thoughts to the good in your life?  Maybe.  Maybe it is a combination of focusing on the good things in life, but also taking the time to be playful.  Taking time to sing, dance, and let loose.  In a world where it often feels like there is never enough time or money, the simple things in life mean so much.

So, for today I will let loose and smile while thinking of the little boy who has not only stolen my heart, but has taught me a very valuable lesson about life.  And the next time he is bouncing off the walls with enthusiasm and his natural zest for life, instead of trying to calm him down, I will simply join in his joy.

We could all use a little more joy in our lives right?

A Lesson In Working Smarter, Not Harder

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Life has a way of getting pretty busy.  When you have a full-time work, freelance work, and a family to care for losing one hour like we did this weekend can seem like a disaster waiting to happen.  My full-time work is picking up (not by my choice) and my freelance work is also increasing (to my delight), as well as a recent increase in home-improvement tasks for our home is making for a somewhat hectic schedule…until now.

I have always been a list maker and great and delegating tasks, but when it comes to my own work, I can sometimes find myself flailing to keep up.  But I have since decided it is time for me to work smarter and not harder.  The biggest issue I have found recently was trying to figure out what to do with my 8 hrs of “free” time in the mornings each week.  I tried balancing it between home responsibilities and freelance work, however the home responsibilities usually won out.  The writing work would get done on lunch breaks and a few hours before bed making for a very long day and less sleep.  Two things I don’t enjoy all that much.  And since I will be adding other personal writing to my schedule (writing my first children’s book series, in addition to starting a life coaching business down the road, I figured it is best if I learn to manage my time a bit more effectively now, rather than later.

What I did?

I decided what items I needed to keep in my schedule.  One was my lunch break.  I have been having “working” lunches far too much and have missed out on several opportunities to get outside to take a walk which is causing some issue with my exercise routine (because now it is non-existent).  So I am taking my lunch breaks back.  I also found that at night-time after getting the little one to bed, the last thing I want to do is work for an additional 2 hours.  So I am taking that time back as well and allowing myself some added reading time in addition to potentially getting to bed earlier.  So when will I be doing my writing work?  In the morning.

I haven’t always been a morning person, but since my full-time job schedule has changed I have 2 days a week where I don’t begin work until 11 am providing me with an added 3 hours to do other things.  The “other things” have mostly been house related, but I am thinking that time might better be used with writing work especially when I have several projects to finish.  So, I am dedicating my mornings to whatever writing work I have and making it a point not to work on writing projects at night.

Family time, house projects, and other home related tasks will be set for the weekends.  While we do get some family time in the evenings, it isn’t nearly as much as we would like so we try to make the most of it on our weekends.  And since it isn’t fun to work 6-7 days a week, I am using the weekend as a break from writing.  Family is important to me and spending as much time with my partner and our son is something I don’t get to do nearly enough and I am not going to sacrifice that precious time for my work.

So, my new schedule begins this week.  I will provide an update next week to let you know the differences I have found not only in my efficiency, but also my stress levels.  I am optimistic to say the least.  I think this new plan will work out great and I will not only be more focused, but more relaxed and more healthy overall.

What do you do to keep a balanced home/work life?

Gratitude: Transformation & Positivity

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This week I was struck by how much I am changing in various ways.  I am growing, transforming, and moving into a new chapter in my life bit by bit and I must say in all the years I thought change was scary, I am finding it to be such a good thing.  Sure it isn’t always easy, and I have come to face some parts of myself that I don’t particularly like, but I am grateful for those parts too.  I am happy for the purpose they served in my life and I am grateful for the courage to move into a new me.  The truth is I have always been transforming in one form or another.  I think we all are.  But there is something about conscious transformation that feels different.  A good different.  A proud different.  And so I am grateful this week for transformation.

I am also grateful for the power of positivity.  Not just the arbitrary thought that positive is better than negative, but the power it has in my life (and yours too if you practice it).  I have consciously made an effort to let go of my resistance to life and believe that all will be fine.  Things will work out and be happy where I am right here, right now.  I have made lists of things that make me smile and things about my partner I adore just so I can build on top of my good vibes.  All-in-all it has allowed me to see and experience a different aspect of life.  The good that is in life no matter what is going on in ours.  I am finding that even when things feel less than hopeful or down right disastrous, a little bit of positivity goes a long way.

So my dear readers, I wish you well as you head into the weekend.  May you embrace whatever changes are lurking around the corner and find the positive in every single, delicious moment of this life.  It is all so good, even when it’s not.

Letting Go Of The “How”

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Yesterday I set the date for action on writing my first children’s book.  I was excited, a little anxious, but mostly excited.  The words were forming in my head and if it weren’t for my day job, I would have immediately grabbed a pen and paper and started writing.  One of you wonderful readers called me brave for setting the date and I hadn’t even written one word yet.  I was feeling far beyond optimistic.  I had decided my dream would come true and nothing was going to stop me until….

I started wondering (more like worrying) about the “how”.  How am I going to get this writing contract by the end of the year when I didn’t know the first thing about getting a book published?  Do I need an agent or can I just send my proposal and manuscript on my own?  Where do I find the right publishers?  How long will it take?

The questions just wouldn’t stop and as I started researching the “how”, I became frozen in fear.  There were so many websites saying how hard it is to get a book published let alone a children’s book, and how long the process takes.  The rejections will come flying in or you won’t hear anything at all.  As I read all I kept feeling was my dream slowly deflating.  I wish I could say I was easily able to brush it off and find my positive place again, but I can’t.  Instead I fell into a fog of disappointment and fear that carried over to this morning.

I woke up feeling uneasy, overwhelmed, and just off.  I couldn’t put my finger on it but as soon as I began writing this post the fog began to lift.  I then remembered this…I don’t have to know the “how” right this second.  I don’t have to figure it all out right now.  If I can float on my excitement and creativity and keep my dream alive, the Universe will conspire to help me.  With a positive attitude I will be led to the path that is right for me and while so many naysayers (online at least) have stated the difficult road that lies ahead, I am choosing to believe it doesn’t have to be that way.  Just as easily as so many other pieces in my life have fallen into place, this will too one way or another.

I don’t have to know the “how” in order to believe it is possible.  In fact, no knowing the “how” makes it that much more exciting.

Setting The Date For Action

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I have written a lot on my blog about flowing with the current of life and being in the moment because these are two things I personally need to practice daily.  And while I believe them to be key components to living a happy and fulfilling life, I also know a good dose of action is important as well.  The key is balance.  So as a piggy back to my post about revisiting resolutions, I am setting a bit of a plan for one of my resolutions.

I decided in 2012 that I really wanted to take my writing to a new level and accomplish my dream of writing a book.  I came up with a non-fiction book idea for adults, but have since decided to get my feet wet first with writing a series of children’s books.  In January I made some progress by inquiring about prices for editing and incidentally made a contact for a possible illustrator for the books that have yet to be written.  In the excitement of finding not only an editor, but also a potential illustrator, I decided I wanted a book deal by the end of 2013.  (Insert face of surprise and butterflies).

The idea that I would be a real life, published children’s author is far beyond my wildest dreams and somewhere in my mind, I wondered if it were possible.  Can I do this?  Can I really write a book that will be successful etc?  Those questions and so many more have led me to put it off and find many excuses for why I haven’t begun.  The ideas are floating around in my head, but nothing has made it to paper…yet.

I have since decided it is time for me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and let my ideas come to life.  The book isn’t going to write itself and we are already 3 months into the year, so if I want a book deal for not just one book, but for the entire series, I better get moving.  So, here I am setting the date for when I will begin working on my first book of the series (March 20th if not before).  The loose plan is to have the book written and ready for the editor in a month and off to the illustrator shortly after that.

I realize I am diving into uncharted waters now and there is a certain amount of fear that is natural, but the bigger part of me is excited for what I am doing.  I dreamed this dream for a reason and am so excited to get the ball rolling.  December will be here before you know it and I can’t wait to share with you the good news of my book contract, because I know without a shadow of a doubt it will happen.  🙂

So tell me, have you set a date to begin any of your goals/dreams for this year?  What are you waiting for?  Don’t let fear stop you from moving forward even if it is just a teeny, tiny step.