Lamisha Serf-Walls

Re-frame, Re-focus, and Move On

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I often find it difficult to write when I am having a particularly challenging day and yesterday was that kind of day.  The financial mishap I thought I had taken care of not once, but twice had reared its ugly head again and I had a difficult time with it.  In the midst of trying to clear it up and ensure it wasn’t going to happen again, I kept wondering how in the world I had created such a mess.  Sure everyone makes mistakes, but why wouldn’t this particularly large mistake just go away??

Where had I gone wrong?  I just couldn’t figure it out.  Each day I meditate, write my gratitude list, read inspiring blogs and other blogs, and try to keep a generally positive attitude.  How could this happen to me???

When I was finally able to step out of my drama-filled cloud of confusion, I realized some stuff just happens.  And while I may have done all of those generally positive things, I am not perfect.  I have a tendency to complain with the best of them about seemingly small details and while those complaints may not be directly related to this financial mishap, it certainly doesn’t help.

Instead of continue to ask questions about why this happened or wonder where I had gone wrong, I took a step back and decided to re-frame, re-focus, and just move on. 

Re-frame– Sometimes things happen and while we (read I) want to figure out the cause behind the mishaps in everyday life, sometimes it’s just a mystery.  The key is not to dwell on the insignificant things and to re-frame the negative into a positive.  In my case, things could have been much worse.  It could have been a situation that couldn’t be fixed and I would have been stuck with trying to find several thousand dollars to make it right.  Lucky for me this situation is something that can be remedied despite the extra fees that I am incurring for a seemingly innocent mistake on my part.  So, it could always be worse.

Re-focus- After a challenging situation it is important to take some time to turn your attention back to what is important.  In this case it means re-focusing on my coaching business, writing, and other projects I have in the works.  Turning my attention away from the situation moves my energy in a more positive direction and creates a flow toward my goals instead of harping on the past.

Move On- Once you have re-focused your energy, it is time to move onward and upward leaving the challenging situation or frustration behind.  Simply put, just let it go.

This three-step process can apply to everyday life as well as disappointments and challenges that happen while working toward the life of your dreams.  Things happen and the speed bumps, detours, and disappointments we encounter can lead us to more clarity, desire, and drive for the things we want, so don’t allow them to destroy your momentum.  Simply re-frame, re-focus, and move on.

Dreamer Highlight: Jordana: My Meandering Trail & Michelle Ward

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I am so excited to share two amazing dreamer highlights with you this week.  The first one is a little different from what I normally share, but is equally inspirational.  Enjoy!

When I first began my blog, I stumbled across Jordana from My Meandering Trail as she was in the middle of preparing for her hike up the Appalachian Trail.  I had no idea at the time what a huge achievement that truly was, but I was consistently inspired by her dream.  In case you were wondering the hike is over 2,000 miles and entails many nights spent camping outside, lots of new people, and lots and lots of hiking.  Just the sound of it makes my legs ache, but I was thrilled to follow Jordana as she strategically documented her plans.  She shared her thoughts on picking her gear, food choices, as well as her adventures as she makes her way up the trail.  So, how did she begin this journey of her dreams?  She just decided to do it.  She researched her way through it.  From talking to others that have hiked the trail to spending early mornings in line to get the best and most affordable gear she could, she did it.  And now, she is hiking to her heart’s content and is sharing her journey on her blog.  While hiking and outdoorsy things may not be your cup of tea, rest assured that her journey will enlighten and inspire.  Remember a journey of (in this case) 2,000 miles begins with only one step.

The other dreamer I wanted to highlight here is Michelle Ward the When I Grow Up Coach.  I have mentioned Michelle several times on my blog and it is partially because it was her blog that really got me thinking about becoming a life coach in the first place and also because her story is so great.  You can read more about how she got to be the wonderful coach she is here.

What she did.  She walked away from what she thought was her dream of becoming an actress and stepped into a space of coaching other creatives to the career of their dreams.  Michelle worked in the corporate world and did her time in the 9-5 job for many years before she finally found her thing.  That thing was coaching others to take a leap toward their dreams.  The inspiration doesn’t stop there though.  In addition to becoming what she calls a woman of the world (read woman solopreneur), she has quit her day job, written workbooks, co-authored a wonderful book, and overcome breast cancer.  She is inspiring for far more than just the work she does.  Michell is creative-life-coaching-amazeballs-ukele-playing-cancer-survior with a spirit that is simply amazing.  Please check out her website and her blog for more inspiring information and tidbits.  She truly is an inspiration for women everywhere.

So, there you have it, two incredible women achieving the life they once dreamt and if they can do it, so can you!

Know of someone who is living the life of their dreams and want me to give them a shout out?  Share in the comments below or email me at lserf13@hotmail.com and I would love to include them in this series.

Gratitude: Patience & Clarity

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I can’t tell you how happy I am that today is Friday.  This has certainly been one kind of week.  From financial mishaps that I thought were cleared up to even more confusion, I am ready to change my focus a little bit this weekend and relax.

Often when we are in the midst of the proverbial storm, it can be difficult to see beyond the mayhem.  Finding the silver lining in the middle of a chaotic situation can be darn near impossible, yet once the dust has settled a bit we realize there really is a positive side to every seemingly negative situation.

This week I was hit with a bit of a storm.  Not a huge, rock-my-entire-world-kind of storm, but a sort of chaotic-lift-me-out-of-my-comfort-zone kind of storm.  My personal financial mishap that I thought had been fixed, reared its ugly head again.  After a few more calls (hopefully the last calls on this issue) and a lot of patience, I think I have it taken care of.

I learned this week that like many other unexpected situations that arise in life, this particular situation could have caused me major anxiety, frustration, and possibly anger.  But with a little patience and calm thinking, I was able to handle the situation not once, but twice.  And what is even more interesting is the fact that one of the books I am reading in order to review is titled The Power of Patience by M.J. Ryan.  Coincidence?? I think not.

It seems that with each new batch of books I receive for review (books I don’t select myself), they are almost always the exact books I need to read at that moment in my life.  Books that speak to my soul and assist me in whatever I am dealing with at the time.  And since patience is one of the things I am growing everyday, it is so nice to see it go to good use.  Especially over a pretty large mistake.  So for that, I am so grateful and appreciative.

The other thing that hit me this week is the idea of clarity.  When negative things come into our lives or situations arise that are less than desirable, we have an opportunity to be more clear about what we would like instead.  Basically, when you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want.  (Something Michael Losier and Abraham Hicks speak on quite a bit.)  Sounds simple right?  It can be, however we often get so caught up in the thing that we don’t want, that we forget to switch our focus to what we want.

The difficult situations, frustrations, and negative things in our lives provide clarity for our desires.  It is that simple.  So instead of harping on the negative, lets turn our focus to the feelings, circumstances, and situations we want in our lives.  This week was a very good example of me focusing a bit too much on the not wanted instead of focusing on what is wanted and I am grateful for the lesson.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend full of all the things that bring you joy.

As always, thanks for reading!

The Importance of Owning Your Dream

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How many of you have had a dream, but you wouldn’t dare share it with anyone else for fear they may laugh or dismiss the possibility of it coming to fruition.  Maybe you have some doubts about making your dream a reality and would just as much forget the whole thing altogether.

Many of us have been there before as we wonder if we can really live the life of our dreams.  We think about it very timidly because we don’t want to get our hopes up too much and be disappointed in the long run, but in order for your dreams to become reality, you have to own them.

Why?

Because by simply setting your intention and focus on that which you desire, you automatically begin flowing energy toward it. 

It is almost like setting a specific goal.  Say you want to run a marathon and it has been something you have thought about for a while, but never really declared to yourself that you would do it.  Instead of beginning your training, this idea is nothing more than a whim that comes and goes without much energy or inspiration behind it.

But, when you say I intend to run a marathon, it becomes more real.  And the more you focus on it, the more you think about it.  The more you think about it, the more inspirational nuggets you find along your journey that will lead you to completing the marathon.

Dreams are the same way.  You have to own them and make them real to yourself.  Instead of saying “I would love to writ a book, eventually…”, declare it.  Set the intention that you will do it.  That doesn’t mean shouting it from the rooftops and sharing your dream with any person that will listen.  That can actually cause your dream to fizzle out before your fire get’s going.  (More on that in a later post.)

Declare your dream.  Visualize it.  Feel it.  See it.  Imagine it.  Feel the amazing delicious energy that stems from it and milk that feeling for as long as it lasts.

Well all have dreams, but if we don’t own up to them, they are nothing more than passing thought that may never come to be.  Take the first step and declare that you will achieve the life of your dreams.  Only you have the power to make that happen, so why not start now?

Surprise Speed Bumps

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Recently I have been on a super positivity kick.  I have been focusing on the positive that surrounds me daily, making lists of things I am grateful for, and staying focused on the things I want to create and cultivate in my life.  For the most part things are running smoothly.  I am feeling good about where I am headed and am confident in the process and while some things seem to be moving slower than I want, I continue to bring my focus back to the present.  I know all is well and all will be well.  No worries.

Well almost no worries.  While I have spent most of my time focusing on the positive, there have been moments (or many moments) when some negative thoughts creep in.  I do my best to send them on their way by thinking more positive thoughts with the intention of staying in my positive frame of mind more and more each day.  Naturally I thought my manifestation process would get easier and then today I hit a surprise speed bump.

Long story short, I had an “accidental” financial oversight that resulted in me being in the red by several thousand dollars.  YIKES!  I quickly called all necessary parties to get this matter resolved as quickly as possible, however in the back of my mind I kept thinking “What a dumb thing to do.” and “I can’t believe I did that!”.  Needless to say my self-talk wasn’t all that great.  I made a mistake and I was ok with it to some degree (provided it could be fixed), but the interesting part was the lack of emotional reaction I had.

In the past if something like this would have happened, I would likely have broken down into tears while anxiety took over my body.  My mind would have been racing while my stomach twisted into knots and I would be in the throes of a serious reaction.

As I took a moment to step back from the situation, I realized even though this mistake does require some rearranging of resources and phone calls to hopefully get it all worked out, I have grown.  I took the situation and responded accordingly without reacting to it negatively.  Sure I was concerned about the mistake, but I was able to take it in stride.  Something I would not have been able to do a year ago.

I suppose this “accident” was a way for me to realize I am making progress in my personal growth and though all of the manifestations are not here right now, I am becoming an overall more positive person.

So the next time you hit a surprise speed bump on your journey to your dreams, take a step back and see what it is telling you.  Is it evidence of changes you are making along the way, or is it a warning to focus more on the happiness you have now?  Either way I think you will find there is an underlying lesson.