Lamisha Serf-Walls

Good Friday Gratitude

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I am playing a bit of catch-up and errand running on this Good Friday, but I wanted to make sure I made time for my gratitude post this week.

There is so much to be grateful for and as I make the final preparations for my son’s 3rd birthday party, I am so very grateful for the opportunity to be his mother.  This week I was really reminded in so many ways to be in the moment and enjoy ever millisecond with my son.  Time tends to move so quickly and in the blink of an eye your kids are all grown up and you wonder where all the time went.  So, I am becoming very mindful of the moments we share and letting whatever day-to-day worries fall by the wayside.

Spring is upon us and the sun is shining and I am looking forward to a marvelous weekend.  Birthday party, Easter celebration, and time spent with family is exactly what I need this weekend and everything else can wait until Monday.

I hope you enjoy your weekend and recognize and truly feel those precious moments you have with friends, family, and with yourself.  Take a deep breath and be grateful for the wonderful things that are in your present experience because no matter what worry, challenge, or difficulty you may have going on, there is always something to celebrate.

Training The Happy

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I began my day today noticing various aspects about the world, my son, and myself that put a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart.  My son is turning 3 this weekend and I am so grateful that he is healthy, vibrant, and quite the entertainer.  Life is good, I am loved, healthy, and in a good place.  It seemed that nothing could ruin my mood today and it was quite lovely.  Until…

Well that’s the thing, there wasn’t anything in particular that happened to dull the vibrant happy I was feeling, it just sort of wore off a bit.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t fall to the other end of the emotional spectrum and feel upset, angry, or sad.  I just wasn’t on the same cloud I was on earlier in the morning.  It got me wondering what happened and how can I get that feeling back?

Just before the happy seemed to fade I had written a poem/greeting card about happiness and the words spoke to me so much that I think I had my answer before the question was formed in my mind.  I realized the idea of “happiness” for many people (me included) stems primarily from a future point in time.  The good feeling comes with thinking of what is coming down the pike or what we are looking forward to.  I know I have always had a tendency to look into the future for the best things to come and incidentally I miss the good stuff that is all around me.  Not only that, but the good stuff around me doesn’t seem to compare to the future event that I have created in my mind.  And yet when that moment comes, I may feel happy it is here, but it is only momentarily until I am waiting for the next future moment to be happy about.

As I was pondering this thought, I realized the importance of not only being happy in the moment, but training the happy.

What is that?

Training the happy simply means doing things in the moment that remind you of the good stuff here and now.  Seeing the beauty around you and being grateful for it.  Finding the positive aspects of life in each and every situation.  Sure it may seem difficult at first, but the more you practice it, the more you train yourself to be happy now, the easier it is to let go of the idea that you will be happy when…whatever happens.  You can be happy now, you just have to train yourself to see the good.

So, as my jovial feeling was dulling, I began thinking of the things that make me happy and I wrote some of them down.  My son’s smile.  His laughter.  The silly things he says and how happy he is to see me when he gets home.  The fact that we found the cake he wanted for his birthday after thinking it wasn’t available.  The sunshine.

I then found my happy factor increasing and the positive thoughts multiplying in my head.  One thought led to another etc.  And while it may seem amazing in the moment, it’s no rocket science.  The process is simple.  Think of what makes you feel good and keep that going.  Sooner or later you will find yourself looking for the good feelings on a regular basis and your happy mood will be the new normal for right now.  And when the future moment comes that knocks your happy socks off, you will savor it fully in the moment and the next because you know there are many happy moments to be celebrated.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling less than joyful, use it as an opportunity to train your happy.  In fact don’t wait for that moment.  Start right now!  Make a list of 20 positive aspects about you, your life, your surroundings, your job, your spouse, etc., and watch your happy factor multiply.

What else do you do to increase your happy?

 

Meditation Challenge: Update

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I would love to be able to begin this post with a celebration for Day #83 of my consecutive 100 day mediation challenge, however I cannot.  I not only missed one day somewhere in the first 50 days of meditation, but this past weekend I missed about 3 more.  (Insert disappointed face here.)

While there is a part of me that is slightly disappointed that I missed so many days in a row, a larger part of me is proud for only missing a total of 4 days in the 83 that I have been practicing.  I recognize that to be a mighty accomplishment for myself.  Especially since I wanted to start a meditation practice for many years and could never stick to it.  Now I know I can and despite my disappointment for missing so many days, I have learned a great deal about myself and my practice.

I have learned:

  • The type of meditation I do depends on my mood.  Sometimes I like guided meditations, while other times I do my own to music or in complete silence.  None of them is the right way or better than the other.  I simply listen to what I need in the moment and proceed with what feels right for me.
  • The ideal amount of time for me on a daily basis is about 15-20 minutes in one sitting and it feels really great to do a morning and evening meditation.
  • My patience for the ups and downs of everyday life is much better when I have meditated on that particular day and I feel a more calm sense of peace after I meditate.
  • I am definitely more optimistic and positive in the moment and spend much less time focusing on what hasn’t yet materialized in my future.  It is true that meditation is a mindful practice for the moment, at least for me.
  • Meditation has become a habit for me, not just a ritual or a challenge.  It is a habit I have wanted to create for many years, but never thought I had the time or the focus to do it, and now I have.

With that said I realize missing 4 days of meditating is not the end of the world and while I may not have made it to the 100 consecutive days of meditating like I wanted in the beginning, I have learned a lot in the process not only about meditation in general, but how it applies to my life and my practice.

I have also decided to begin a new 100 day meditation challenge (officially starting April 1st for ease of calculating days), but this time the motivation for the challenge is to simply reap the benefits of meditation on a daily basis while reaching (and surpassing) my goal of 100 days.  Much like healthy eating and exercising, meditation is a daily practice meant to be a lifestyle change, not something you do only when you feel frazzled.  So with that ultimate purpose in mind I will begin again.

Not meeting a goal doesn’t automatically mean failure, sometimes it is just a reminder to take a moment to reset and begin again.

What are you hitting the “reset” button for today?

Playing Catch Up: A Little Update

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I know it has been several days since my last post and I thought I would provide a bit of an update before I get back to “real” posts (whatever that means).  Last week I had a lot of great surprises and some realizations that I wanted to put together into one post to share and then life happened, so consider this your update.

I wanted to mention my gratitude for a few realizations last week because I wanted to remember the positive aspects of last week especially since this week has been a bit of a whirlwind.  With that said the two things I was really and truly grateful for last week were surprises and riches.

Last week I received a variety of surprises and while many times those can be thought of as dreaded inconveniences, there are also those delightful surprises that come out of the blue and those are the kind I am referring to.  Not only did I receive notification of another greeting card being accepted for review, but my partner received a promotion she was looking forward to and my work schedule changed.  The change was something I certainly wasn’t expecting, but appreciate because it provides more time and connection with my family throughout the week.

The other thing I was grateful for was the idea of riches.  I am not talking riches in the form of money, but in the many other forms it can take.  When I began thinking of all of the wonderful aspects of my life that are not tangible and monetary, I realized I have so much to be grateful for on a daily basis and it has nothing to do with the amount of money in the bank.  Friends, family, love, creativity, spirituality, and gratitude are all part of my riches that I am so grateful for in my day-to-day life.  And while I may often forget it, I wanted to bring my attention to it for the moment and for future moments when I am feeling a little down and need a reminder.

So those were my gratitude moments from last week.  Now for an update on the children’s book start date…

Unfortunately the day I set to begin writing my children’s book (yesterday) did not go as planned.  We have had a few days of chaos with a sick little one at home and that has changed plans, schedules, and routines a bit causing us to move things around to make room for what is important in the moment.  (Wasn’t I just grateful for surprises??)  So, I have not yet begun my children’s book since we have been playing catch up with work, house stuff, and life in general, but I will be getting back to it.  More on that later.

And for my last update, I am proud to say in the midst of chaos, surprises, and the amazing riches I have in my life I have maintained my meditation practice.  Not only have I been able to maintain my practice, but on some days I have even been able to do two 15 minute meditation sessions per day.  One in the morning and one in the evening which has been wonderful for my patience and sanity.

So there you have it, a summary post catching you up on some of the latest and greatest in my world.  I promise to have more “real” posts for you in the coming days, but until then I am off to play catch-up on some tasks for work and home.

Have a wonderful day!

He’s Got It All Figured Out…

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I once thought that no one had life all figured out.  I thought we were all living the best we knew how, doing the best we could while still growing and evolving into better versions of ourselves.  Yet no matter how evolved we get or how much we grow, we never have it figured out.  That is, until I thought about my son.

Yesterday I was thinking about life and how sometimes it feels like a struggle as we muddle through the challenges and other times it is simply euphoric.  The good times make you feel like everything is running smoothly and nothing can tear you down.  I was wondering how we could live more in the space of goodness and less in the mindset of challenges.  I wondered if that was even possible.  Then it hit me!  My soon to be 3-year-old has it all figured out.

Sound crazy?  I don’t think so.  The other day my some came home from daycare with the biggest smile on his face and I could feel the joy flowing so easily from him.  It’s not just when he comes home either, it seems to be all the time.  At any given moment I can look at him and he is singing as loud as possible, dancing, bouncing around the room, or his new favorite thing is singing into his microphone or banging on his drum set.  He has found joy, better yet, he lives it in everything he does.  From the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed he has spent approximately 90-95% of his day in happy mode.  Sure he doesn’t have everyday problems to deal with like us adults, but it got me thinking about how we can all spend that much time in happy mode.

Is it as simple as thinking happy thoughts or turning your thoughts to the good in your life?  Maybe.  Maybe it is a combination of focusing on the good things in life, but also taking the time to be playful.  Taking time to sing, dance, and let loose.  In a world where it often feels like there is never enough time or money, the simple things in life mean so much.

So, for today I will let loose and smile while thinking of the little boy who has not only stolen my heart, but has taught me a very valuable lesson about life.  And the next time he is bouncing off the walls with enthusiasm and his natural zest for life, instead of trying to calm him down, I will simply join in his joy.

We could all use a little more joy in our lives right?