Lamisha Serf-Walls

When OTHER Things Come First…

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I have been working on this post for quite a while now and it seems the more I wait to post it, the more inspiration I have to do so.

In working with a client a few weeks ago, we had a conversation about why our dreams take the backseat to more pressing things.  I realized in that moment I too had been putting off many things that would progress my dreams for one reason or another and then it hit me.

Even when we have the inspiration to dive head first into creating the life of our dreams, LIFE still happens.

There are deadlines, work stuff, family stuff, and in general other stuff that seems so much more important in the moment.  Those things take our attention, focus, and energy and leave little for us to use for the things that truly matter to us.  The things we are meant to do and truly love doing.

It puts us in a quandary of sorts.busy

We make excuses as to why we can’t get started on our book or do research for our business.  We make a laundry list of reasons why we simply don’t have the time or the money to give to that thing that we really want and need to.  Laundry, cleaning the house, fixing the car, going to work, taking the kids to soccer, basketball, and ballet all come first.  We argue with ourselves about how selfish it is to think that we should take time away from our children, our jobs, our spouses, our responsibilities to do what we want to do, but is it really a selfish act?

We have to ask ourselves if following our hearts and making room for the things that bring us joy is selfish.  Is it really?  Maybe in the world we are living in it is and what an unhappy place that is.  A place that makes us feel bad for doing something we enjoy and presses upon us the need to serve others and make other people happy while sacrificing our own.

Before I head down a rabbit hole of how terrible the world can be, let me stop and say that I don’t believe our choice lies between selfish and selfless living.  Nor is it a question of doing one thing over the other.  I suggest a compromise.  A meeting and melding of two worlds that creates a necessary balance between selfish and selfless acts.  A space where needs are met and dreams are lived.

Are you with me?

What I propose is simple.  So simple you may even wonder why you didn’t implement it long ago.  That simple step is this.

Instead of diving into your day checking off items on your to-do list and rushing to and fro, why not set a sacred space for your dream?

Call it the Dream Hour or Selfish Session or something a bit more personal ( and catchy).  It doesn’t matter what you call it, what matters is what you do with that time.

Set a specific amount of time each day at the beginning of your day to give to your dream.  You don’t have to operate using lists and an agenda either.  Simply show up for a set amount of time and commit that time to making progress on your dream.  If it’s writing, then write or read what you have written.  Are you a singer?  Then sing your song or listen to inspiring artists.

Make your dreams, your purpose, your passions a priority in your life, otherwise they will always end up being an afterthought in your long, busy day.  

Your dreams deserve the space to thrive, so what difference does 30-60 minutes a day make when you are creating a life that you love?  If you are like many, you might even spend more time than that on social media sites.

Don’t wait for the New Year to get started either, start today.  I promise you won’t be sorry you did.

End of Year: Weeding Out The Old

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If you have been following my end of year posts, then you know we first began with a bit of reflection on the amazing things we learned and accomplished in 2013.  The next step for me is weeding out the old.

I am a very literal person when it comes to clearing and purging things, so I tend to get a bit overzealous at letting go of material items.  I am terrible at keeping receipts, manuals, and other things that I see as clutter that I might need in the future.  That typically makes this process a lot easier for me each year since I am not hanging onto a ton of stuff I might need in the future.

photo from getridofcluttertoday.com
photo from getridofcluttertoday.com

While I am not sure where this need to clear originated from, I know that it is extremely important for me to start the year with a clean slate.  Both figuratively and literally.  I like my house to be clean, my laundry to be done, new bedding on the bed, and papers, clutter, and old stuff donated and tossed out.  There is something about seeing a clean desk top or a new notebook that gets me all excited to create, write, and imagine new beginnings.

So, with that said, as I write this post a few days early, I am going to be spending much of my days getting rid of old stuff.  You might consider doing the same.  You know that closet that needs to be cleaned out and organized?  The old pictures that need to be put in the album that has been collecting dust all year?  Why not throw on some music, open the shades, and get that stuff done!  There really is no better time than the moment to get those little things that have been sitting around waiting for you to tackle them.  Just dig in and do it now!

What I love about this process more than the actual organization that takes place, is the after effects.  The peace, the ideas, the inspired moments that occur when I am sitting in my newly organized space.  There is something that happens when you clear out a room and let the fresh air and light in.  It makes room for some really great creative energy to take over.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Clear out a closet or two that you have been meaning to get to all year-long
  • Take one box and intend to get rid of 10 items from each room in your house to donate
  • Go through your closet and get rid of old shoes and clothes that were replaced during the holidays
  • If you have children, fill a box with old toys to donate to a shelter
  • Dig into the catch-all room (we all have one) and organize those clothes, books, and the maybe-we will-use-it-one-day-items
  • Go through your filing cabinets and shred old documents you no longer need

This is by no means meant to be an overwhelming task and you don’t have to do everything on the list, but I think you will find that once you get started you will enjoy the feeling you get once you have accomplished a new task.  Have fun with it and just imagine the amazing new energy and creative ideas that will come flooding in once you make the space for it.

Enjoy!

2013 Reflection-Look How Far You’ve Come

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Hello my lovely dreamers!

I apologize for my sudden time off of the blog, but with Christmas and some pending deadlines just before the holiday, I found myself a bit scattered.  As I work to get back on track, I thought I would share with you a bit about what the next week and a half will be about here on the blog.

As the New Year approaches, many of us are looking to make some changes.  Some big and maybe a few small changes and as we plan to make 2014 the best year yet, I have a few things planned here on the blog.

Last year, I wrote a few posts about how I was going to plan for 2013 with a Letter to Myself, a vision board, and selecting a theme for the year.  This year, I have a few ideas for making changes for the new year along with some other inspiring posts to get us all started on the right foot.  I hope you will join me in this end of year reflection and planning as the new year approaches.  I have a feeling it’s going to be a good one for all of us.

The process of reflection is an important piece that many of us miss as we look to make changes.  We get so excited for what is to come, that we often forget to look back at all of our accomplishments and challenges.  This is meant to give you a clear picture of how far you have come as well as provide an opportunity to really celebrate the past year.  The lessons, challenges, and successes are all part of how you got to where you are today and reflecting on that can be invaluable for the future.  Michelle Ward keeps track of her “wins” throughout the year so she can reflect back on it at the end of the year in celebration.  You can read her 2013 re-cap here.

Even if you haven’t collected your wins throughout the year, this exercise is a great way to get started on your reflection.  Think back to all the things you started, made progress on, and completed in the past year.  Write them down, celebrate them and recognize your progress.  You might even take it one step further and take note of any challenges you overcame during the year that you are particularly proud of.

Every year is something to celebrate and before you begin to make plans for 2014, take a step back and review how far you have come.

My list of wins include:

  • Taking the leap to create my coaching framework (April)
  • Successfully working with my wonderful guinea pig client (May)
  • Reaching my 1 year mark of blogging (October)
  • Working with a total of 5 clients (from August to December)

While I am sure there are many others that I am missing, the biggest thing for me this year was taking the leap into my dream career and committing myself to helping clients live their dreams.  It is my gift, my calling, and my purpose and I love doing what I do.

Take some time this week to reflect on 2013.  What wins would you put on your list?

When Is The Perfect Time???

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How many times do you find yourself waiting, planning, scheming, and trying to get everything just right before you move forward with a big goal?  Something like moving or changing jobs can require a bit of planning in order to do it without a lot of unnecessary stress, but when it comes to your dreams, when is the perfect time to get started?

It has been my experience that there isn’t a specific moment when the clouds part, the sun is shining, and you just know that everything is perfect.  Let’s face it, perfect is word that tends to cause us to procrastinate on the things we want most in life because we want it to be just right.  And my perfect may not be the same as yours and I would bet that your perfect may not even be all that realistic right?

What I am really talking about here is how you know when it’s time to move forward and take that leap you have dreaming of.  For me, it took some visualization, excitement, and inspiration I gained by watching others take that big scary leap.  It was then that I realized the perfect time I was waiting for was just a ploy for me to, well keep dreaming.  In the dream phase my goal was beautiful, exciting, but not quite real.  I mean, I wanted it, but it was more of a figment of my imagination than it was something I could accomplish.  When I put the perfection aside and took the leap, I had more inspiration than I knew what to do with and it seemed that things were coming together by my not waiting for the perfect moment.

How could it be?

How could it all come together in the most organic, unplanned, yet almost magical way?medium_10799618335

It came together because I always had the potential to accomplish my dreams and one day I just decided to take that first step.  I didn’t have to know the whole dance, hell I still don’t know the whole dance, but I’m learning more and more each day.  I guarantee you will too.

You see, that perfect time you are waiting for is now. Today. Or Tomorrow.  Or whenever you choose for it to be.  It’s not about getting specific things lined up so you can take that first step.  It’s about taking the first step and trusting that the rest will fall in line.

It’s about believing in yourself and allowing your path to be guided by the magical intuition you have been gifted with because it will always lead the way if you listen.

Do you hear it now?  What is it saying?

Whether you make today, tomorrow, or next week your “perfect time”, you will be right because you get to choose.  The question is why wait?

Things are getting busier with the holidays creeping up, but if you are ready to take the leap into your dreams I am ready to help you get to where you are going.  Send me an email at lamisha@lifeoncedreamt.com to get more info or to sign up for your free session today. 

photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc

Endings and New Beginnings

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I suppose it is fitting that endings and new beginnings have been on my mind as of late.  As the year quickly comes to a close many people are taking advantage of this time to make plans for the new year while reflecting on what they have accomplished this year.  While I don’t think it’s necessary to stay focused in the past for too long, it is important to reflect on how far you have come, where you are going, and what changes you want to make. medium_4646140669

As my most recent full-time position ended on Friday, I found myself in the most wonderful (and weird) state of peace.  While I have never been laid off from any position, there was something about this position ending during at this time of the year that felt so right.  All along I have felt that this situation just happened perfectly and that in 3, 6, or even 12 months in the future, I will look back on this moment and know that this was the turning point to something bigger.  As I sit here and write this, I have no idea what that might be, but I am so excited to find out.

I wasn’t always this easy about change.  There was once a time in my life when even the most simple changes threw me for a loop.  Something so small as changing my schedule could throw my entire day off.  A flat tire? Bad weather? Anything out of my ordinary expectations would ruin my entire day and we aren’t even talking about money.  Money issues are an entirely different story.  Yet, here I am looking into a future that is far more unknown than is known and I am peaceful, happy even.  I have faith that it will work out.  I will find my next thing and it will be the perfect situation for what I need in that moment.  I’m not worried and for me that is a little bit weird.

How about you?  How well do you deal with change?  With this year coming to a close are there things that you are ready to move on from and other things you want to get started?  I’m sure you may have a laundry list of things that you would like to implement into this new year and maybe even some things that you are ready to close the door on.  Whatever that might be for you, I would love the chance to chat with you about it.  I am still scheduling free-intro sessions for anyone who is interested.  So, if you are looking for someone to help you create some simple, yet inspiring action steps to get you moving into your new beginnings with ease, I’m your girl.  Simply contact me and we can get you well on your way to an amazing start to 2014.  I can’t wait to see what is in store!
photo credit: bjornmeansbear via photopin cc